A Rise to Power
by Diamond Sylvan
Summary: SEQUAL! Okay, I'm finally posting! Sequal to Tales of a Broken Heart, but can easily be read alone. Lily and James, obvi. Sirius and someone else...trouble starting with Slytherins...Death Eaters...etc. Maybe some Severus thrown in there...R&R!
1. Home For the Holidays

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**Authors Note: Hey guys, it's been sooo long I know! Too long. i have some more chapters of this, the sequal to Tales of a Broken Heart, ready to post, so I'll post again as soon as I know people are still reading! Haha, thanks so much for everyones reviews of the last chapter of the last one, I'm so excited for this and I hope you all are too!!**

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Chapter 1

Home Again

Lily walked through the doorway to her house first, followed by herfather, dragging her trunk. "Lily, a little help here?" Grunted her father, heaving at her heavy trunk.

"Oh, sorry daddy! Here, I'll help you!" She cried, leaping to the side and then lifting the back of the trunk.

"What have you got in here anyway, bricks?" He asked, chuckling at his own, highly overused, joke.

"Close daddy, books." Lily told him, and he laughed again. His little girl was home again. Lily had always been her fathers daughter, down to the red hair and green eyes. She did not have to wear glasses, and had been spared the freckles, and her eyes were the same shape as her mothers, but she had his height, and his bone structure, and was skinny like him.

When she was younger, Petunia was always the one confiding in her mother. They always watched movies together, and baked. Lily, on the other hand, played catch with her dad in the yard, and was always the one to go to 'take your daughter to work' day.

They carried her trunk up to her room, the smaller one at the end of the hall. They both colapsed when they had it in the middle of the floor, and Lily found herself wondering how James had been able to lift it down from the overhead compartment himself.

She shook it off and stood up, stretching out a hand to her father to help him to his feet. As he stood, Lily noticed the lines in his face, and how his hair was thinning. He was much older than her memory of him, and it was odly discomforting. They went downstairs to hover in the kitchen, trying to sneek bits of whatever her mother was cooking, but they were shooed away.

"I'm making you a surprise dinner, don't hover. Go find something to do." Lily, not having any idea of what to do, went back up to her room. After having removed the books that she would need for her summer homework, Lily paced the floor, waiting to be called for dinner.

Lily sat down at her desk and took out parchement, ink, and her favorite pink feather quill from her trunk and prepared to write a letter. She did not know who to write to, although in the back of her mind she had an idea of who she most wanted to talk to.

_Dear James, _

_I just arrived home and am sitting in my room waiting for my mother to call me down to the surprise dinner she's cooking for me. I do not know what to do with myself, I've been home for less than an hour, less than half an hour I should think, and already I am bored. Please write me soon, I wait for your letter to deliver me from the endless monotony that is to be my summer. _

_Lily_

Lily now had to wait for someone to write her a letter before she could send this to James. As if one cue, an owl tapped on her window. Lily looked up and imediately recognized James's owl. She leaped up and flew to the window, flinging it wide. She tore the letter from the owls leg and quickly read the letter. James's familiar handwriting was very soothing. She sat down on her bed in order to read the letter.

_Dearest Lily, _

_I hope my letter finds you well. I miss you already. I just arrived home and already my father is fawning over Sirius. I haven't been here for an hour and I am driven to writing to you from the sheer boredom of being away from Hogwarts. Please write soon. _

_Yours truely, _

_James_

Lily sighed with pleasure and went back to her desk to add to the letter she had written.

_Dear James, _

_Driven to writing me from the sheer boredom of being away from Hogwarts? I do not know if I should take that as a complement. I too, however, am bored to death over here. I've been home not even a half hour and I am driven to my room, as my mother is preparing me a 'special surprise' dinner downstairs. I'm sure he's not fawning any more over Sirius han he is over you, is it possible that you're over reacting? I, not having an owl, cannot write to you unless you write to me first, otherwise you would have recieved the letter I had written you moments before I recieved yours. I wait in boredom and lonliness for your letter. _

_Lily_

Lily tied the letter carefully to James's owls leg and sent him off with her note. She took James's letter and put it under her bed, hidden beneathe a loose floorboard. When she had been younger she had pryed up the floorboard in seach of treasure, and had then used the secret place as a hiding place for diaries and journals that she wrote. Occasionally there had been love letters stored in there, away from the prying eyes of her sister, and once there had been a failed quiz that she was afraid her mother would find if she had left it in her backpack.

"Lily! Come to dinner!" Called Petunia from downstairs, not even bothering to climb upstairs. Lily could hear her mother scolding Petunia for yelling as she crawled out from under the bed and dusted herself off. She went downstais and in to the kitchen. It smelled delicious. Lily sat down at the kitchen table, there was no one there.

"In here Lily." Called her mother from the dining room. They never used the dining room, only on Christmas, Easter, and when her father had an important buisness dinner. Lily went in to the dining room and found the table laden with mashed potatoes, corn, broccoli, sweat peas, parsnips, and roasted chicken, although she would not be partaking in the devoring of the chicken, the rest smelled heavenly.

Vernon Dursley was seated next to Petunia and across from Lily's seat, her parents were at either end of the table, and there was a boy Lily did not know siting next to her empty seat. Lily sat down, comprehension dawning on her slowly. This was why they were using the dining room. This was why they were having a special dinner. They were trying to set her up with this guy. Lily sat down and smiled as graciously as she could, all the while thinking of exactly how she would phrase this to James. He was sure to have a good laugh over this. As would she, once it was over.

Underneathe the table Lily could feel Vernon put his foot on her leg. He did not remove it at once, as someone who had made a mistake would have done. Instead he started moving it up and down her shin. Lily looked at him, surprised that he would dare to behave so in front of her parents and sister. He looked back at her, unabashed, and continued to rub her leg. Lily kicked him under the table, and frowned slightly, willing him to stop. He did not, he continued persistently, up and down.

"Lily, this is Derek. He moved in next door this year, and we wanted you to meet him." Her mother said, gazing at her pointedly.

"How nice to meet you Derek." Lily said sweetly, holding out her hand to him, and trying to ignore Vernon's foot on her leg. They shook hands. Derek was not half bad looking. He had dark hair that reminded her of James's, only his was combed back rather than unruly as James's was. He had dark eyes too, and he never took them off her own as they shook hands.

"Nice to meet you too Lily." He smiled, a dazzlingly white smile. Lily favored him with one of her own as they released their grips and sat normally. Derek poured Lily water, which was very polite, but would have been even more polite if he had asked if she had wanted some first. He started to serve her chicken, but she stopped him. "You don't want any?" He asked, sounding as offended as if he had slaved over a hot stove all day to cook it specially for her.

"Actually, I'm a vegetarian." Lily informed him, ignoring the disapproving glare of her mother. And still Vernon's foot rubbed up and down. She tried crossing it over her other leg, ans she tried kicking him again, she tried turning to the side slightly, but still he persisted. Finally, after five minutes of this never ending massage, Lily started to rub his leg. He made a noise of surprise and stopped rubbing her leg. She then proceded to kick him very hard with her heel. He wimpered out loud and did not put a foot on her again.

"Are you all right Vernon?" Petunia asked worriedly.

"Oh yes dear, I just swallowed something wrong. Nothing to worry about." He told her. Petunia smiled at him and returned to her food.

"So, Derek, where do you go to school?" Lily asked him, trying to cover up the silence that had settled over them all.

"I go to the local public school with your sister." He replied, unhelpfully.

"Oh. What grade are you in?" Lily asked, again trying to start a convorsation.

"I'm a year 11, well, year 12 now schools out. Aren't you too?"

"Yes, yes of course." She replied quickly, noticing her mother quick look of warning. Again silence settled in.

"Well, I'm going to clear these dishes, care to help me Lily?" Her mother said after a few more moments of silence.

"Surely!" Lily said, standing up, eager to get away from the table. She grabbed the dishes and folllowed her mother in to the kitchen.

"What do you think? I think he's a really nice lad. And handsome too!" Her mother said, ambushing her the moment the kitchen door closed.

"Oh, he's alright I suppose. A little too dull." Lily responded, acting as if she did not know perfectly well that her mother was trying to set her up.

"Oh, I don't think so. He seems like a really nice boy." She said again, trying to convince her daughter that he was. "And really handome." She added hopefully.

"Mother, I already have a boyfriend at school." Why had she said that? She did not have a boyfriend. She had no such thing. Now her mother perked up, eager to hear about her daughters boyfriend.

"Really? What's his name?" She asked, a little too interested.

"James Potter." Lily said. Why had she said that? James was not her boyfriend. They were friends, and he was a boy, but that was it.

"That boy? He was the one who hugged you for so long on the platform was he?" Her mother asked, wanting conformation.

"Yes. That's the one." Lily said, now having to go along with her lie.

"Oh, he's handsome." She sqealed like a girl. Well, Derek will be disappointed I'm sure." She sounded regretful.

"You told him you were trying to set us up?" Lily asked, horrified.

"Well of course I did. I told him I had a beautiful daughter and asked if he wanted to come over for dinner. I think he should have figured it out on his own. If not, well then he's too dumb for you anyway." Her mother said.

"You didn't! Mother I cannot believe you. This is dreadful. Don't say anything, and then I'll tell him no if he asks to see me again. That's it. Don't mention James, say nothing. All right mother? Please Please don't embarass me any more." Lily said desparately, putting the dishes on the counter and going back to the table. They made it through desert and coffee without talking much. Lily was right, Derek was rather dull. That or very shy. At the end of the evening Lily walked him to the door.

"Will I see you again?" He asked as Lily knew he must.

"I don't think so, I'm going to be very busy." Lily told him pointedly.

"Oh, with what?" He asked, clearly missing the point.

"Work." She replied shortly, in an effort to freeze him out.

"Oh, well maybe I'll see you around." He said regretfully.

"I doubt it." Lily replied, opening the door for him to show him out. He walked away, and Lily turned and sprinted up the stairs to her bedroom. Only when she had gotten to her room and closed the door firmly did she laugh uproariously. She then sat down and wrote to James about it.

_Dear James _

_It was the funniest thing. My mothers special surprise dinner in my honor was merely an attempt on her part to set me up with some new kid on my street. She cooked all this food, and served it in the dining room. We never use the dining room. And she sat me next to him and across from my sisters boyfriend. The entire meal Vernon, my sisters boyfriend, was rubbing my leg under the table. Do you believe that? I kept shifting around trying to get him to stop, but he wouldn't. When I had finally taken more than I thought humanly possible, I kicked him really hard with my heel. He wimpered out loud. That stopped him sure enough. I told the guy pretty plainly that I was going to be pre occupied all summer and wouldn't get a chance to see him, ever. He was pretty let down, I think my mother led him to believe that he would have a chance with her "beautiful daughter". Hah. What a laugh. Anyway, I hope to hear from you soon, and I hope that your evening was as amusing as mine. I am still laughing over it. _

_Lily_

Lily then lay down on her bed and fell asleep. When her mother came in later to tell her to come down and have tea with Vernon and the rest of the family, Lily was snoaring loudly. Mrs. Evans closed the door as silently as possible and went back downstairs to regretfully inform the others that Lily was indisposed. The next morning Lily rose early, as she was accusomed to doing at Hogwarts, and saw the entire day stretched ahead of her with nothing to occupy the time.

Lily completed two of her essays that morning, and made a start on a chart she had to complete for divination. She also drew up another chart for herbology mapping the ways to take care of a Nadle shrub. She decorated it too. Finding herself bored and unable to concentrate on school work, she made a calendar counting down the days until Hogwarts was to start again. The only other thing written on the calendar was her birthday on the 19 of August. She also drew a little heart in the top corner of James's birthday, which was the 11 of July.

Lily surfaced at around noon, dressed and showered. She grabbed a piece of bread and a yogurt and started to eat. She was not very hungry, but she was bored and there was nothing else to do. That afternoon she started reading a muggle novel, but found it irritating when they did things such as laundry, which could have been done so much more easily by magic.

She went to bed early that night and woke early again the next morning. When she rose she was imedeatly woken by James's owl pecking her arm gently. Lily sat up strait, untying the letter from the owl's leg. She tied her own letter to the owl's leg and sent it off. She read James's note, just a brief scrawl about how he had nothing to say, and yet wanted to write so that she would write back. He declared that Sirius was in fact being doted on shamlessly, and that he himself was not exaggerating. Lily chuckled to herself and put the letter with its fellow underneath the floor board.

She went downstairs and decided to go outside and get a tan. At least that way she would be able to sleep and tan at the same time. When she went down she could hear Petunia with some friends in the back yard.

"I know, that equals the worst thing ever." Declared a girl who Lily knew by sight as Paige. Paige had thick wavy dirty blonde hair that went half way down her back, and hazle eyes. She was very petite and had been Petunia's best friend since they had started school together years ago.

"That's like, totally wrong." Said Patty, another of Petunia's crowd. Patty also had dirty blonde hair, but hers was thin and cropped above her shoulders. She had whispy bangs and strong features. He eyebrows were more than a shade darker than her hair, making it at least look died, whatever she said to the contrary.

"To the max." Paige added.

"Oh, Lily. Hi." Petunia said unenthusiastically as Lily walked outside.

"Hi Lily, good year at school?" Asked Polly civily. Another dirty blonde girl, this one with blue eyes and perfectly pink lips. Lily couldn't help but wonder where she bought her lipstick. She looked like Alice, a less pretty version of Alice with far fewer curves and shorter hair, but Alice all the same.

"Fine, how about you?" Lily replied. She had never really been on good terms with Polly. Not since the third year when she had taken Lily's crayons and smashed them to pieces in front of everyone. She had stamped on them with her perfect little swade shoes, and then cried to the teacher, claiming it had been Lily who had done it.

"Oh excellent. I'm dating Jimmy Parker now, did you hear?" She asked slyly. Jimmy had been an old beau of Lily's. He had always liked her, and Polly knew it. It appeared that she had had to wait a while, even after Lily was oult of the way, to get her grasping little paws on him.

"Are you? Lucky you." Lily replied. Polly mistook her lack of interest as barely concealed jealousy, and smiled in smug delight.

"Yeah, she's dating him. Although he has gotten much uglier since the days when he used to chase you, do you remember Lily?" Asked Patty, always quick to insult Polly, as they had a long standing rivalry. Patty too had been vying for the attentions of Jimmy.

"Oh yes, I had nearly forgotten. Jimmy Parker, I rememebr now. Do you all remember that time when he chased me around the playground trying to kiss me?" Lily said, shooting a triumphant look at Polly.

"That was so funny!" Paige said enthusiastically. "And then you escaped by climbing the monkey bars, because you knew he was scared of heights!" Everyone laughed except Polly, who scowled. She had been foiled at her own game.

"Would you girls like some lemonade?" Asked Mrs. Evans, peeking around the door at the sound of their laughter.

"Here, I'll help Mrs. Evans." Said Paige, always eager to lend a helping hand.

"Thank you dear, would you mind grabbing that tray for me?" She asked, handing Paige the tray with glasses and lemonade pitcher on it.

"Here Paige, let me help you." Offered Lily, taking the tray from Paige and placing it on the table. "So how was your school year Paige?" Lily asked, sitting down again.

"It was fine." She said modestly, pouring the lemonade into glasses.

"Paige's year was more than fine. She was captain of the football team, weren't you Paige?" Patty asked.

"And editor of the paper, right?" Polly asked, glad that the convorsation had turned from her finally.

"Yes, I was." Paige said, passing out the lemonade.

"That's exciting!" Lily said. "I didn't know you wrote Paige."

"Only editorials and things." Paige sad quickly.

"Well that's very exciting." Lily concluded. "And what of you Patty? What did you get up to at school?" Lily asked, turning her attentions elsewhere.

"I was captain of the pep squad, and I organized the dances and school events." Patty declared proudly.

"Well, you lot have had a busy year. You're being awfully quiet Petunia, what did you do?" Lily asked, curious to know where her sister fell amoung all of this.

"I just sort of lazed around doing nothing, that's what you want me to say isn't it?" Petunia snapped angry and defensive.

"What?" Lily asked, looking around for an answer. No one had one.

"What do you mean Petunia, you had a very busy year. Petunia did very well in all of her classes, she got honors in everything." Paige said consolingly, always playing the mother.

"Not science." Petunia replied.

"Well, Mr. Berwick is a nasty, fat, annoying, angry man who grades totally arbitrailly anyway, so don't worry yourself about it." Paige said supportively. Petunia flounced and pouted and glared until everyone was thoroughly miserable. "So, has anyone seen the new Degrassi episode?" Asked Paige in an effort to start convorsation again.

"Oh my god, how amazing was that?" Asked Polly.

"Well I don't want to be friends with a prude princess." Patty mimed.

"Good, because I don't want to be friends with the school slut!" Paige said. "That was quality. I heart Degrassi to the tenth power. Squared."

"It's the best show ever." Patty agreed. Lily now felt completley out of the loop. She leaned back in her chair and looked up at the sky, wishing she were back at Hogwarts now.

And so the weeks passed. Lily would laze the days away and write to James and pass the time. She also wrote to Holly, Caroline, and Janette, but she did not look forward to their letters as much as she did James's, which were full of consolation over her boring summer, and commisoration as he was suffering the same thing. He always managed to make her laugh when she read his letters, and pretty soon the pile under the floor board had grown large, and the summer was not even far gone. On his birthday she wrote hiom a long letter wishing him a happy birthday, and sent him flowers she had picked from her garden, and appologizing that there was nothing better to send. She vowed to get him a real present the first chance she got to go into diagon alley.

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**Authors Note: I added my sister (the winner of my contest) into the story. People who know her, try to spot her! Oh, and I sort of exaggerated things a little bit, like she doesn't really use all of her little sayings in one conversation...but I needed a way to fit them all in. And Mr. Berwick is fat and annoying and an awful teacher, and he does grade arbitrailly...I don't care what you say. oh, and in case any of you forgot, football means soccer (even though my sister doesn't actually play soccer...) cause this is taking place in England, rememeber?**

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**Okay, review and I'll post soon! Oh, and I have some other stories posted too, if youre bored, check 'em out!**

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	2. Disaster Strikes

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**Authors Note: Guys, this chapter is amazing. i know a bunch of people who will love it....like a lot. (Cough Taylor cough). Anyway, thanks to those of you who reviewed my last chapter! Hopefully there'll be another one soon!!**

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Chapter 2

Disaster Strikes

Lily had gone to the grocery store to pick up milk. It had been a perfectly innocent trip, and now she was walking back home. From the end of her block she could hear the screaming. She started to run, dropping the grocery bag in her haste. She burst through the front door and saw no one. She could still hear screaming, louder than before. It was coming from the back yard. Lily ran around the back of the house and saw her mother on the ground rocking back and forth sobbing and screaming. Petunia had taken several paces back and looked white. She was pointing at Lily now, hatred in her eyes.

"You. You did this." She all but whispered.

"What's happened? Where's dad?" Lily screamed frantically, running to her mothers side and placing her arm around her shoulders.

"Convenient, isn't it, that you should have offered to go for the milk when you did, isn't it? Couldn't have been planned, could it? Just a coincidence, I suppose, that they came only minutes after you left." Petunia said, her voice slightly raised now. She was still pointing at Lily, her eyes filled with rage.

"Petunia, who came? What did they do? Who was it? What did they want with dad? Where's he gone?" Lily asked, still trying to comfort her mother.

"As if you don't know! You sit there, acting so innocent, when all the time you know it's your fault!" Petunia raged.

"Petunia, tell me what's happened! Now!" Lily shrieked, standing and raising herself to her full height.

"They've taken him. They've take dad. Four men, long black cloaks. Wands. They've taken him. They were looking for you too, but you were gone. They, they said to tell you they'll return, and that you'll have to do as they say or else dad's a gonner." Petunia said, raving like a lunitic. She broke down in to sobs.

"Where did they take him? Who were they?" Lily asked, trying to understand.

"Wizards." Petunia said practically whispering, but still managing to spit the word as if it was too foul to stay on her lips any longer than absolutely neccessary. "They were after you. You shant go back to school after this!" Petunia cackled, still sounding crazy. "Oh no, mum won't let you after this! Polly will be so disappointed, Jimmy will want you still. No more witching for Lily."

"Petunia, what are you talking about? What did they say they would do with him?" Lily demanded, furious.

"This is all your doing you know! None of this would have happened if you hadn't been a filthy freak!" Petunia said, pointing again.

"Never say that again." Lily hissed, her voice lowered menacingly. She took a step towards Petunia.

"You're a freak! A freak! You'll be the death of us all! That's why all the boys liked you, isn't it? Because you cast your filthy dirty spells on them! You're a freak, and this is all your fault. You've killed out father!" Petunia cried. Lily was greatful that their imediate neighbors were not currently at home.

"I told you never to say that again." Lily said, her voice low, clam, and dangerous. She slapped Petunia hard across the face. "We had best to call the police, tell them dad's missing." Lily said. Petunia stood in shock, her hand to her face.

"We can't! They will kill him if we call the cops! The blonde man said so." Petunia informed her sister, still in tears and still raving. Lily ran upstairs, and, not knowing what else to do, wrote to James.

_James, _

_My father has just been taken by four tall men in black cloaks. I was out, my mom is in tears on the ground, my sister is screaming that I'm a freak and that it's all my fault. We can't call the cops because they'll kill him, and she says they said they'll be back for me next, and that I'll have to do what they say. Petunia says I shant be allowed to go back to school. Please help me. _

_Yours, _

_Lily_

She then had to wait until James sent her a letter. She vowed that she would buy her own owl the moment she got back to the wizarding world.

She did not have to wait long for James to send an owl. He had not sent one yet that day, and she got one within the hour. She attached her letter to his owls leg and sent him off, before she even read James's letter. She tossed the letter aside unopened, and ran back downstairs to find Petunia next to her mother on the ground in tears.

Lily had no idea what James would do to help her, but she hoped whatever he did would be fast.

Three hours later, as Lily was stirring the pasta in the pot, she heard a knock on the door. It would probabally be Vernon coming for Petunia, they were together practically every night. Lily went to the door with a smudge of tomato sauce on her forehead, and her dirty pron still on. Her hair was pulled back in a messy bun. All in all, she looked filthy and disheveled. There were tear tracks on her cheeks, and her eyes were still read. Her nose was running on top of everything.

She pulled open the door and nearly fell over backwards. Standing on her doorstep was none other than James Potter. He caught her up in his arms and held her close for a few, all too brief, moments. She felt all of her troubles that she had been trying to hold back crash down on her like a wave. She started sobbing into his shoulder, and had to pull back to wipe her nose on her apron.

"Oh Lily, what's happened?" He asked, clearly distressed by the sight of her.

"I told you in the letter. They've taken him. Oh, James, I can't believe you came!" Lily hugged him again, and he pulled her close and held her tight.

"Shh, shh. Where's your mom? And where's your sister?" He asked softly, pushing her back.

"They're in the living room, probabally crying still. Oh, and James, before you go to them, I might have accidentally told her that you're my boyfriend. It was only to make her stop setting me up with that Derek bloke, please don't be mad. I needed an excuse not to like him." James laughed that that was the thing she thought of first after everything that had happened. He wiped the sauce off her forehead with his thumb and pushed a stray piece of hair behind her ear tenderly.

"Don't worry, I won't give you away." He said, stepping in to the living room. Lily went back to the kitchen to fix the dinner, still not believing that he was there. A moment later, however, when she heard Petunia's shrieks of 'Freak!' she knew that he was truly there, and not just a hillusination.

Lily rushed in to the living room to see James backing away from her sister, hands in the air to show he was unarmed. Petunia was pointing at him and shouting accusations.

"Pet, calm down!" Lily said. "This is James, he's a friend of mine and I asked him to come. He won't hurt you or anyone else." Lily tried to remain calm in order to pacify her sister. Petunia flew at James kicking and scratching at him, shouting that he was a freak just like Lily. James pushed her off and held her at arms length. "Shh, shh, Pet sit down. Come on, right here next to mum." Petunia sat and resorted back to her wailing sobs. "James I'm so sorry, I should have warned you. She's not the most welcoming of muggles when it comes to magic." Lily explained, walking over to James to look at the scratch on his arm.

"Really? I never would have guessed." James said. Lily looked up to his face and saw that he was chuckling. "Okay, first thing we have to do is figure out who took your father and why, then we have to figure out where they took him and how we're going to get him back." James said, making a list in his head.

"Oh, well that should be relatively easy, thank you so much for clearing that up James, I had not thought of that myself for even a moment!" Lily exclaimed sarcastically. "But the first thing we have to do is eat." She added as the timer sounded in the kitchen, signaling that the pasta was finished.

Lily put plates and silverware and glasses out on the kitchen table, strained the pasta and put it in a bowl, and then poured the sauce into the serving dish. She carried it all to the table and placed it in front of her mother, who served herself and then passed it to Petunia, who passed it to James, who served Lily. Lily smiled at him when he asked her if she wanted some, she rememebred complaining to him of how Derek hadn't, and favored him with a secret smile. She almost chuckled out loud of the memory of Derek serving her chicken.

"So, mother. I hate to bring this up, but who came to the house, when did they come, what did they say, where did they go?" Lily asked. Her mother was more composed now, her eyes were still red and puffy, and there were still tear marcks on her cheeks as well, but she was sitting up strait and not sniffling.

"Four men, dressed in black cloaks, all of them very tall, came to the house only a few minutes after you left, Lily, to get milk." Mrs. Evans started.

"Are you sure they were men?" James asked quickly. "Are you sure they were human?" He added.

"James, this is not an alien conspiracy theory right now." Lily laughed, but then stopped seeing that James was not kidding.

"They could have been dementors." James almost whispered. "Were they walking, or gliding?" He asked.

"Gliding?" Snorted Petunia, speaking for the first time. She gave James a distainful look, that said all too plainly what she thought of him and his intelect. "They were walking, with feet and legs, they were all human, and they were all men." She informed him, a hauty laugh barley concealed in her tone.

"You saw skin, faces, hair, heard then speak?" He confirmed.

"Yes, of course. They had their hoods pulled back. What are dementors?" Petunia asked, her curiosity finally getting the best of her.

"Dementors guard the wizard prison, azkaban. They suck joy and happiness out of places, they can sometimes even steel your soul. Be grateful that your father was taken by wizards and not dementors." James told her somberly.

"Grateful?" Petunia shrilled. "He could be dead or waiting to be killed! I hardly think that is something to be grateful for."

"Death would be welcome over a life without a soul. Believe me, my uncle's soul was taken by the dementors." James told her, looking down at his plate. There was silence after that remark.

"Well, anyway, these four men in black cloaks came in and asked for your father." Mrs. Evans continued, clearing her throat. "The man with the blonde hair asked me where my husband was. I asked him who he thought he was, barging in to my house uninvited. He pushed me down and asked Petunia where her father was. I tried to stand up, but one of the other men, the one with the black hair, stood over me and held me down. Then the three other men went out to the back yard. Petunia backed into a corner and stayed there. Then the men came back, dragging your father between them. The blonde one who had pushed me down asked where my other daughter was. I asked him who he was talking about. He sneered at me and said the pretty one with the flaming hair, the powerful one, we need her help. Tell her that if she ever wishes to see her father alive again she will cooporate and do what we want. Then they left with your father." She told them, sniffing hard at the end of her tale.

"Which direction did they go? Is that all they said? How did they leave?" James asked after a brief pause and a look at Lily. He looked worried, maybe even scared.

"They got on broomsticks. The blonde one had my husband on his broom with him. They hadn't even gone in to the air when the disappeared." Mrs. Evans told him.

"A spell, maybe a cloak. Disillusionment is my guess though." James told Lily.

"That's well and good, but what are we going to do about it?" Lily asked him. "We're stuck, we don't know who they were, where they went, or how to get my dad back."

"Yes, but we do know why they wanted him. They want you." He told her, smiling.

"You say that like it's a good thing." She shivered and shoved some pasta into her mouth.

"It is. It means that your father is safe. Until they get you, they won't kill him. He's their bargaining tool." James told her, his smile broadening.

"You know what that means though, don't you?" She asked him.

"No, what?" He asked, his smile falering.

"It means they'll come back for me, and when they have me they'll kill him." Lily said, looking away from her mother and sister. James rose from the table and started to walk away.

"Where are you going?" Lily called to his retreating back.

"To write a letter. I'll explain later." He said.

"Parchement and quills are on the desk, my rooms the one at the end of the hall!" Lily called after him. He waved his hand, aknowledging that he had heard her. Lily began to clear the dishes from the table and put away the leftovers in a tubaware container.

Petunia and her mother had disappeared somewhere, probabally to conspire or cry, Lily did not care. She walked outside to get some fresh air. Perhaps there would be some clue as to who the mysterious house guests had been.

There was not, of course, but as she walked down the street she did find her grocery bag with the milk in it dropped carlessly on the sidewalk. It looked perfectly fine, so she picked it up and brought it back home with her.

As she entered she saw James at the top of the stairs. He walked down to meet her and told her to come upstairs. She went and shut the door to her bedroom behind her.

"I wrote to Dumbledore." James said, sitting on the bed.

"You didn't. James! You know I am not getting along with him right now!" Lily said, sitting down on her desk chair.

"I know, that's why I didn't tell you it was him I was writing to until now. I already sent the letter, there's nothing you can do now." He said smugly.

"James! What did you say to him?" Lily asked, leaning back in her chair and closing her eyes in frustration.

"He needs to know Lily. I told him the your father had been taken and I told him everything your mother told us. He's the only one who can help us. I hope to be an auror some day, but unfortunatley that is years away from happening. He's the only one who will know what to do." He said. Lily sighed, realizing the logic in this.

"What do you think he can do though? He won't come here, will he?" She asked.

"I don't know." James said.

"How did you get here, anyway?" Lily asked suspiciously.

"I took a train and then I took one of those taxi cab things." He told her calmly.

"How long are you going to stay for?" She asked.

"However long you need me. Until I know that you're ala safe."

"How chivalrous." Lily said sarcastically. "Do your folks know you're here?"

"I doubt it." He said.

"What about Sirius? Did you leave a note at least?" Lily said, looking at him like he was insane. Which in all probabillity he was.

"Ah, relax, they'll figure out I'm gone later." James said with a wave of his hand, calm as could be.

"Where are you going to sleep?" Lily asked, buisness like again.

"With you?" James asked hopefully. "Couch then." He said in response to her silent look. She did not need words to communicate her thoughts, at least not on this subject.

"Okay, I'll find sheets and pillows and things for you. You brought clothes?" Lily asked, looking around for a suitcase of some sort.

"Nope. I came as soon as I got your letter, no time to pack." He said sweetly, and somewhat embarrassed.

"How did you pay to come here on the train? You didn't sneek on? Tell me you didn't sneek on Ja-" Lily started to lecture, but was stopped short by James's interuption.

"I didn't sneek on." James cut her off. "What?" He asked, she was glaring at him accusingly again. "No, I really didn't Lily. My dad keeps some muggle money in a jar in the kitchen for when he has to use muggle transport. He won't miss it, don't worry."

"That's not what I was worried about, don't worry. I can't believe you stole from your parents." She told him dissapprovingly.

"What? I had to! I didn't have any other way of getting here. What did you want me to do? Get spotted by muggles flying around on my room in the middle of the day?" James asked logically.

"I suppose not. Well, come on I'll make your bed up for you. And I want you to write to your parents tonight. I'm not kidding James, they'll be worried. Just send them an owl." Lily said over her shoulder as they started down the hall. He did not respond, he just followed her down the hall quietly. "Here, hold this for me will you?" She asked, stopping in front of a linen closet and handing him two pillows, a fitted sheet, a regular sheet, and a quilt. "And don't mistreat that quilt, my grandma made it." Lily added, starting down the stais to the living room.

"What would I do to it?" He asked, somewhat curious.

"I don't know. Nothing I should hope, my grandmother made it." She said, grinning slightly at how easy it was to confuse him. "Here, you can put those on that chair and help me unfold this couch."

"It unfolds? Into what?" He asked.

"A bed silly, what did you think? You didn't think I would put you on he floor did you?" She asked, slapping him gently on the arm. She lifted off the cushions and handed them to James, who placed them on the floor. She then grabbed the handle of the couch and pulled, unfolding it into a double bed. She then gave James one corners of the fitted sheet and took one herself. She showed him how to tuck it under the matress, and then they did the same with the regular sheet. "Okay, you're done." Lily said, smoothing the quilt at last and throwing the pillows on the bed.

"Thanks Lil. You going to bed now?" He asked.

"I think so. You can watch TV if you want." She said.

"Do what?" James asked her, puzzled, sitting on the matress and bouncing up and down.

"Here, I'll show you." Lily told him exasperated, flopping down next to him and grabbing the remote from under one of the pillows and flicking on the television. James was fascinated by the moving pictures, never having experienced a television before. They channel surfed for a while, and the Lily finally surrendered the remote to James. She leaned back into the pillows, laughing at his amazement that the push of a button could cause an entire story and picture, and the people in the story.

Lily leaned back on the pillow, intending to just rest her eyes for a minute while James played with the television. She opened her eyes what felt like five minutes later. James was shaking her awake apologetically.

"Lily, you're tired, it's late, go upstairs to bed." He suggested.

"O-Okay." Lily said yawining loudly and widely. "Nanight James, see you tom-m-marrow." She said, yawning again.

James sleaned into the pilows sighing as he watching Lily stagger up the stairs. She was so beautiful. _I wonder if she'll ever love me_ James asked himself as her figure dissappeared around a bend in the hallway. His heart had leaped when he had first seen her, standing in her doorway, the light from the hall outlining her. His heart had given an even bigger leap when she had told himthat she had told her mother that he was her boyfriend. His heart had soared through the roof at the sight of the little heart on the date of his birthday. _Well, to be honest, that heart may have been there for another reason, but still, it was there just the same._ He reasoned with himself. And of course there was the fact that he had been the person she had run to when she was in the most trouble. James felt somewhat guilty that he was so happy when she was so distraught, but just being with her was enough to make him the happiest person on the planet.

* * *

**Authors Note: So, what do you think? What should Dumbledore do? Any feedback or suggestions? I have something written, but I'm not crazy about it, so anything you can think of would be welcomed with open arms. Thanks! Review!**

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	3. A Meeting

**Authors Note: Sorry about the owl mix up. If you'll remember, that was the chappie that was co written by me and Vivi, so I didn't actually write that part of it.... but whatever. My fault, I apologize, Lily has an owl that looks like James. All is good. She does not need to buy a new owl. Also, I am on the verge of killing fanfiction, because I have had this chapter in here for like ever and it wouldnt let me post!! grr.**

Chapter 3

A Meeting

Lily rose the next morning to sunlight streaming through her thin curtains. It must have been very late in the morning, because she could see the sun rising high in the sky already. Lily stretched and yawned and got out of bed, realizing that she had been so tired last night that she had failed even to change out of her clothes. She quickly changed and headed to the bathroom, brushed her teeth, splashed water on her face, and dried it with a towel. She pulled her hair off her face into a ponytail and headed downstairs. She entered the kitchen and was reaching for the cupboard when someone opened it for her and grabbed her a bowl, placing it into her hand.

"Morning sunshine!" James said cheerily from behind her, as she looked around to see who had handed her the bowl. She smiled at him and opened the drawer for a spoon. She walked over to the fridge and grabbed the milk. Then she turned again to see James holding the cereal.

"Thanks." She said, taking it from him and sitting down at the table. He sat across from her.

"Good sleep?" He asked.

"Yeah, thanks, you?" She asked. "How did the bed treat you? Or did you stay up all night playing with the remote?"

"Well, I got some sleep. That bed was great. So was the remote." James responded sheepishly.

"What time is it?" Lily asked, still a little drowsy.

"Almost 11. You had a nice long sleep." He informed her.

"I'm sorry, what time were you up?" She asked.

"Nine I think." James told her.

"Oh, I'm so sorry. You could have woken me." She said, spooning cereal into her mouth.

"Ah, that's fine. Petunia and I bonded." James offered.

"Really? She spoke to you? Without saying freak?" Lily asked.

"Oh, I thought that was a term of endearment, never mind, we didn't bond." They both laughed.

"Where is Pet?" Lily asked, looking around. She did not hear any movement in the house.

"Out with friends I think. Your mom went shopping earlier. About an hour ago I think."

"Have you been all alone here? I'm so sorry. You really should have woken me. What did you do? Never mind, let me guess, watched TV?"

"Yes." James laughed.

"Did you get some breakfast at least?" Lily asked him.

"Yeah, your mom made pancakes, they were really good too." He told her. She had done no such thing, he had had some cereal. But he did not want Lily to feel bad.

"I don't believe you." Lily told him, fixing him with her inquisitive stare.

"Why not?" James asked quickly.

"Because my mom never makes pancakes, never has. And we don't have pancake mix." Lily told him, laughing a little.

"Oh. Okay you caught me; I had some cereal a little while ago. It was really good though, don't worry about it." He told her, watching her finish her first bowl of cereal and pour a second.

"James, I was thinking." Lily said around a mouthful.

"Oh?" He replied, encouraging her to continue.

"About what Petunia said." Lily told him.

"And what did Petunia say? That we're freaks?" James asked.

"Well that. But also that mom won't let me go back to school. Do you really think they could stop me?" Lily asked, her nerves entering into her tone.

"Honestly? Yes, they could. And you wouldn't be able to do a thing because if you use magic, you're out of Hogwarts anyway." James said somberly.

"So what do I do?" Lily asked, somewhat scared as to what the answer would be.

"I suppose we'll just have to wait for Dumbledore and find out." James replied, a little overly calm in Lily's mind.

They did not have to wait long. The two were lounging outside under a tree when the knock came. Lily stood and went to the door, puzzling over who it could be.

Surely it could not be any of the neighbors. If they had heard any screaming then they would have come before now. And if it was not because of the screaming, then what other reason could there be for one of them to come by? Lily opened the door slowly, in the back of her mind thinking of four hooded men. She needn't have feared, however. It was only Dumbledore.

"Professor? I didn't expect you." Lily said simply, standing in the door and staring at Dumbledore. James, who had followed behind her, greeted Dumbledore and said hello. "Do come in professor." Lily said after a moment, remembering her manners.

"Thank you." Said Dumbledore, who had been scanning the room from the entrance. He stooped to enter, and when he did he seemed to make the room a good deal smaller than it had been before.

"Have a seat, professor." Lily said, motioning towards the couches in the sitting room. They all sat, Lily and James on a couch across from the professor. "Have you found out who it was that took my father yet?" Lily asked, as soon as they were seated.

"I know very little, and what I do know I cannot tell you. It would only endanger you further than you already are. If Voldemort were to get his hands on you, it would be all the worse if you knew more than you should." Dumbledore said briefly.

"So." James said after a few moments of silence.

"I'll go make some tea, shall I?" Lily suggested after a few more moments of silence.

"That won't be necessary." Dumbledore told her. He then revealed his wand from inside his robes. With it, he conjured a platter of cakes and cookies, a teapot that had a thin trail of steam coming from the spout, three plates, three cups, three saucers, three spoons, sugar, and milk.

"Can we eat it?" Lily asked skeptically, eyeing the cookies with distaste.

"Of course you can!" James said, scandalized. His plate was already loaded with cookies and he had chocolate crumbs on his chin. Of course, he was used to living in the magical world where cookies and tea were conjured all the time.

Lily laughed, pouring herself, James, and Dumbledore tea. She looked at him and took a napkin, wiping his chin with it. He held her eyes a few moments longer than neccessary. She shook herself, remembering where she was, and looked back at Dumbledore, ignoing the chill she had just felt. Lily inhaled the aroma and was immediately soothed.

"So, Lily, tell me everything you know about these four men who took your father."

"Not much, I came home from the store and my sister and mother were wrecks. My father was gone. They told me it was my fault and that I couldn't go to school again." Lily started.

"Well, actually I believe that was Petunia who said that, not your mother." James corrected her.

"Oh, yes. Silly me. Well anyway, they told me that four tall men in black cloaks had come and taken him." Lily continued.

"One of them had blonde hair." James added.

"Yes, one had blonde hair. But anyway, they came in and went looking for my father-" Lily began again. Before she could continue, James cut in again.

"Yes, after they pushed your mother down." James almost growled. Apparently the idea of four grown wizards pushing around a defenseless muggle woman was slightly more than aggravating to him. Lily could hear his knuckles cracking as he spoke.

"So anyway." Lily continued. "They said they were looking for me, and then they took him. Who do you think it was, professor?" Lily asked.

"Well-" Dumbledore started.

"Isn't it obvious?" James asked.

"Who do you think it was, James?" Lily asked patiently.

"The Death Eaters of course. Who else could it be? We know they wear cloaks. Besides, who else would want to take your father?" James asked.

"That is definitely a possibility, but let's not rule out the other options-"

"What other options? There are no other options." James interrupted the professor again. Lily's patience was waning; she put a hand on James's knee to shut him up. He was apparently surprised, and he sat back, closing his mouth. He just stared at her hand on his knee.

"So professor, who do you think it was?" Lily asked.

"I already told you, Ms. Evans, I cannot tell you such things. It would be too dangerous." Dumbledore told her calmly.

"But who would want to do this?" Lily asked, close to tears again. James sounded as if he was about to speak, but Lily squeezed his knee as a reminder and a threat. He sat back again

"As we've discussed before Lily, you're powers are imperative to this battle. We need you on our side to tip the scales in our favor. Voldemort will be after you too now." Dumbledore told her. "He knows how important you are, obviously."

"But how?" Lily said. James was looking puzzled, but she ignored him.

"Again Ms. Evans, as I have told you, Lord Voldemort is also a powerful legilimens. No doubt he has already tried to find out our plans. Fortunately he cannot penetrate my defenses, but the defenses of other wizards, such as Cornelius, or the minister, are much weaker. I doubt they have even grasped the gravity of the situation yet." Dumbledore told her with a sigh. He was so muchyounger than Lily had always supposed, Lily noticed.

For such a young man he was a very highly regarded and powerful wizard, but it was obvious that he was aging fast under such pressures. He was already growing a few more gray and silver hairs than the last time Lily had seen him. No doubt he was working harder than any of them could imagine to stop the storm from breaking for just one more day.

"What should I do, professor?" Lily asked, a slight quiver in her voice.

"One thing is clear, you cannot stay here." Dumbledore told her. "If indeed your family fails to allow you return to Hogwarts, or if the Death Eaters should attempt to try for you again and you are at home this time, everything would be ruined. You are key in my plans Lily. You must continue your studies. I will explain more when I can, when I know that you are safe." Dumbledore told her.

"But where will I go? Will I go back to school?" Lily asked him.

"No!" Dumbledore said, almost too quickly. "Things at school right now They will be worked out over the summer. Before school starts certainly. But right now not even Hogwarts is safe for you. Do you have no friends from school who can take you in for the summer?" Dumbledore suggested. Lily thought for a moment.

She supposed she could go to Caroline's, though she hated to impose again. There was always Holly, although she was also part muggle, so that might not be much safer. There was also Janette, but she had muggle parents, so that would be even worse than going to Holly's.

"She can come stay with me." James said quietly.

"Oh, no, James that's very kind but I couldn't" Lily said.

"Why not, you've got nowhere else to go." He said astutely.

"I wouldn't want to impose on your parents." Lily stared to explain.

"It's no imposition. Besides, what else would you do? You can't go to Holly or Janette; they're both muggle born. And Caroline is in Europe, isn't she?" James asked. There seemed to be a note of hopefulness in his tone. How could Lily have forgotten? Of course. Caroline was on vacation with her family and Ben and his family.

"Well, yes." Lily conceded.

"And you can't stay here. You'll be kidnapped, or kept away from school, or killed." James said, embellishing the facts only slightly. At least Lily hoped he was. She cringed a little as he voiced it in such words.

"Yes, I suppose so." She admitted.

"So why not come to my house? I can't leave you here, and you can't stay here. And you have nowhere else to go. Honestly Lily, it's no imposition. My parents will love to have you." James said enthusiastically.

"They don't even know me! You haven't even asked them! How do you know they'd love to have me? They might already have plans for the summer." Lily protested.

"They don't." James said flatly. "Listen Lily, you're sweet to think they'd care, but really, they won't. They're good people, they love to help."

"I'm sure they do, James, but I couldn't force myself on them like that." Lily said, still trying to think of excuses, much as she did want to go.

"They'll love you. You're coming, it's settled." James told her. Professor Dumbledore had remained silent throughout this repartee, the corners of his mouth twitching. Lily tried to read what he was thinking in his clear blue eyes, but to no avail. He was mentally blocked more now than he ever had been. He apparently noticed her staring at him intently, and winked, letting her no that he knew what she was up to. He then shook his head at her.

"So it's settled then. Lily will be at the Potter's; I'll know where to contact you then. I'm off. This meeting has been most...illuminating." Dumbledore said, walking towards the door. No sooner had the door shut than James started talking at full speed.

"Let's pack up your stuff, and then we'll go meet my parents. You're going to have a lot of explaining to do tonight young lady." James informed her. Lily smiled sweetly and innocently and ran up the stairs without responding.

**Authers Note: Hope you enjoyed, I'll try and get another chappie out as soon as possible!!**


	4. Meet the Potters

**Authors Note: Hey all, not really much to say. I've decided to give youa chapter a week with maybe a little something extra as a holiday treat when the time gets closer...we'll see. Haha, keep reviewing everyone! You know I love you all, you keep me writing. If it weren't forour lovely supportive reviews I think I would just give up writing alltogether and drop the entire thing. I know I wouldn't waste my time posting if it weren't for you. And johnothan the last chapter wasn't co-writen, I mentioned a chapter that was cowritten by me and vivi in the past book, in Tales of a Broken Heart, because that was the chapter she had gotten the owl and I had forgotten about it because V is the one who wrote that. Dur. And also, she didn't mention Sirius because in her heart of hearts she wanted to go..also dur. Oh and ps, the thing about the pancakes was just me being weird. James wanted to save her feelings because she felt all guilty and he didnt want her to feel any more guilty. Oh and this last one was my mistake. I guess part of the story got cut out because Dumbledore was supposed to say "Things at Hogwarts right now They will be worked out ofver the summer, but right now not even Hogwarts is safe for you." I was elluding to something that youll find out about soon enough. So happy reading.**

Chapter 4

Meet the Potters

Lily was putting the last of her things in her trunk. She had no owl cage, that was why she had had to leave Rupert, her owl, at Hogwarts for the summer. That and the fact that her mother hated birds. She tore the calendar that she had made off the wall.

"What's this?" Said James grabbing it and noticing the heart on the date of his birthday.

"What's what?" Asked Lily, making a grab for it.

"Why is my birthday marked with a little heart?" James asked slyly.

"When's your birthday?" Lily asked, playing dumb.

"The 11 of July." He told her, still holding the calendar out of her reach.

"Is that a Friday?" Lily asked.

"No, Saturday." James replied, looking at her curiously.

"Oh, that was just a reminder of something." Lily told him, thinking fast.

"Of my birthday?" James asked.

"No, of a date I had." Lily told him, smiling a little. She hoped he would not pay much attention to the sudden rosy ness of her cheeks. She could feel her temperature rising.

"A date?" James repeated skeptically.

"And? What of it?" Lily demanded.

"Oh, nothing. Who was it with?" James asked, trying to beat her at her own game.

"You remember that guy I told you about? Derek? The one who lives down the street?" Lily asked, refreshing his memory.

"The one your mother tried to set you up with? Who didn't ask if you wanted meat?" James asked, knowing full well who she was talking about. He remembered how she had described that dinner in her letter.

"That's him. Well, he seemed nice, so I decided to give him another chance." Lily said, lying through her teeth.

"Oh?" James asked, smirking slightly. _Could she be lying? _he asked himself. _Maybe_ he answered.

"Yeah, I decided to give him another chance. You know, away from my parents, less pressure, just us. He's a actually really nice." Lily said, toying with him. She loved the way he turned slightly redder with every word she spoke.

"Oh?" James asked. "And?" He prodded when she did not embellish.

"And nothing, he was nice. He wasn't for me though. I told him I didn't want to see him again. Although not those exact words. I told him I would be busy this summer. I think he got it." Lily told him. His muscles seemed to unclench, or was it just her imagination? He seemed more relaxed.

He lives just down the street eh? Maybe I could go teach him a lesson...He'll never go near Lily again after I'm through with him....James thought, his hands balled themselves into fists. But there was nothing in it. She didn't like him, she'd said so herself. He had to remember to keep his temper in check, otherwise Lily would never give him the time of day. She had very high standards, he was still trying to prove to her that he was a good person and not a hot headed quiddich playing idiot with his head up his ass.

"Give me a hand with this?" Lily asked, closing the lid of her trunk and lifting it ever so slightly off the ground.

"Here, I can get it." James offered. She let go before he had gotten a good grip and it fell on her toe. She shrieked a little, and James quickly lifted the trunk up so she could get her toe out. "All right?" James asked, concerned.

"Yeah, just a little surprised was all." Lily said, shrugging. James smiled a little and lifted the trunk off the ground. It was heavy, but he did not seem to notice or care.

Lily remembered when she and her father had struggled to lift it up the stairs. She turned and left the room, flying down the stairs. She did not want James to see her crying. He would think she was weak. Lily did not like being a damsel in distress. She was the strong one. She wiped her eyes on her sleeve so that he would not know she had succumbed to her fear and cried.

"So how are we getting there, floo?" James suggested.

"No, we can't. We're not hooked up yet." Lily reminded him.

"Lily, if you wanted to, you could've said something. I mean, after all these-"

"Not like that!" Lily said, catching his meaning. "My house isn't hooked up to the floo network yet. Remember? Not to mention we don't have any floo powder." Lily informed him.

"Oh. Right. That's so weird." James mumbled, he was blushing faintly, Lily noticed.

"What's weird?" Lily asked, curious.

"That you're a muggle family." James said.

"Why is that weird? Don't tell me that you're a muggle hater too!" Lily sighed, looking down at her hands.

"No way! I love muggles" James told her. _Is he hinting at something? _Lily asked herself. _No, of course he isn't_ she answered herself. She was just imagining things. To her horror, this answer dismayed her somewhat. "It's just weird cause you seem so...witchy. And...non-muggley." James said, lamely.

"I suppose I'll just take that as a compliment and move right along." Lily laughed.

"So are we going to take one of those things? You know? The ones that have people in front and they take you wherever you want?" James suggested.

"I suppose we'll have to, won't we. There's no other way we can go. Only taxis." Lily said, knowing it would take a while. She was, for once, grateful that she did not have her owl with her.

"A what?" James asked.

"Huh? Oh! A taxi. You know, a thingy." Lily said, laughing again. "You really should have taken muggle studies James. It can come in really handy to know what you're talking about if you ever get a job when you need to work with muggles. Or even know simple things about muggles. If you're going to work at the ministry, then it'll be really important-" Lily stopped talking, seeing James's eyes glazing over. "Well anyway, I can't think of any other way that we would-"

"What about the Knight Bus?" James suggested.

"The what?" Lily asked.

"The Knight Bus." James repeated. "Don't tell me you've never been on the Knight Bus! That's it, we're taking it." He told her.

"Okay, how do you get it?" She asked. "Is there a bus stop or something?"

"No, you just stick out your wand arm like-"

"Wait!" Lily said. "Shouldn't we go outside?" Lily suggested.

"Good plan." James agreed, starting for the door.

"Wait, let me write a note to my mom." Lily said.

Mom-

I'm so sorry, but Professor Dumbledore, my headmaster, doesn't think that I'm safe here. We'll try and find daddy as soon as we can, but for now I'm staying with James. I'll write as soon as I can, and I'll see you Christmas break. Thank you for letting James stay here, I love you,

Lily

Lily scrawled her name quickly, a placed her quill back into her trunk. She noticed James's eyes straying to her calendar, and she smiled to herself.

As she watched James lift her trunk again her eyes welled for the second time. The fact that he could lift it only reminded her that her father was older and weaker and probably wouldn't be able to stand up to the tortures that Voldemort would most likely be subjecting him to.

James had carried her trunk outside, and she could see him silhouetted in the door frame, waiting for her to come outside. She wiped her eyes and swallowed hard on the lump that was constricting her throat. She opened the door and walked over to James slowly, trying her best to wipe away the tears that threatened to spill over onto her cheeks.

"Ready?" Inquired James.

"As ready as I'll ever be." Replied Lily, as cheerily as possible.

"Aren't you in for a thrill." Said James excitedly, thrusting his right hand forward.

Almost instantly a purple bus appeared on Privet Drive. Lily looked around cautiously to see if anyone had heard the bang and popping noise that accompanied its arrival. Apparently they had not. She stepped cautiously onto the first step of the bus after James had entered and motioned for her to follow. There was a large armchair with a conductor in it at the front.

"Oh no, you're all paid for. I would have put it on the house, or bus as the case may be, being that you're so pretty, but this gentlemen has already paid for you. What am I saying, gentleman? James, you old scoundrel." Said the conductor playfully, taking a swing at James, which he dodged nimbly. Lily had been reaching for her money purse when the conductor informed her that she was taken care of with a large wink.

Lily looked disapprovingly at James, but he only winked at her as well. Apparently he and this conductor were good friends. Lily deduced that James took this Knight Bus often. She couldn't help but wonder why he would need late night transportation that his parents couldn't provide. Where would he be going? There was a good deal she didn't know about James Potter, and she had thought she'd had him all figured out too.

For the first time, Lily looked around. The Knight Bus had a purple interior, and the walls were lined with beds. It the back, however. there were armchairs.

"Trust me Lil, you won't want one of those. Come here." Said James, directing her towards one of the beds.

"You shouldn't have paid for me, James." Lily said warily.

"I would pay anything to get you in a bed, Lily." James said roguishly. Lily elbowed him hard in the ribs, as he still had his arm around her. "You okay Lil, you look sad. Were you crying? I swear I was only joking about the paying to get you in bed thing. That was just a joke, I swear. And you can pay me back for the ticket if it really means that much to you." He said hurriedly.

"It's not that. It's nothing, I'm fine. But now you're saying you don't want me in bed? Are you saying I'm fat?" She said, in mock seriousness.

"No, Lily, I would never, I mean. No!" James said, flustered. Lily laughed at his confusion. James scowled at his humiliation. His friend the conductor was laughing at him too, he had apparently been eavesdropping on their conversation. "But, Lily, why were you crying?" James asked seriously.

"James, I hate to interrupt." Said the driver, "as I'm sure this conversation will turn out very interesting and all, but where are we going?" Asked the driver impatiently.

"Oh, sorry. My place." James said.

"Coming right up." Said the conductor.

"I think I'm going to be sick." Moaned Lily after the first lurch almost threw her from the bed. She was glad James had warned her about not sitting in the chairs, otherwise she would have gone flying. And not the kind of flying she was comfortable with. Not that she was all that comfortable with any flying, really.

"Great, the first time I get in a bed with you and you get sick." James complained.

"Okay, please tell me that will be your last bed joke." Lily groaned as they swerved. She was grateful for James's protective arm preventing her from getting thrown to the floor after every turn. She would have been seriously bruised.

"Okay, that was the last bed joke." James agreed. "But on one condition." He added as an after thought.

"Anything to make the bed comments stop." Lily agreed.

"Tell me why you were crying." James prompted.

"It's nothing. Really. It's stupid. You'll just think I'm dumb." Lily said, looking away. They had stopped, at last. A witch came down from the top deck of the triple decker Knight Bus, looking as woozy as Lily felt.

The bus lurched off again, causing Lily to smash into James with full force, knocking the wind out of them both. James's breath came back first.

"I would never find you dumb, just tell me." He pleaded.

"No." Lily said gasping for breath. The bus swerved again, and James ended up on top of Lily. He pinned her down and would not let her up when she tried to sit again. "James, stop being ridiculous, let me up." Lily said, pushing against his arm. It was no use, he was much stronger than her.

"You're the one being silly, just tell me! How foolish could it possibly be?" He asked. "Unless it's something embarrassing. Is it about your true feelings about being in bed with me Lily?" James asked poking her in the side with his free arm. She laughed, as she was extremely ticklish.

"James, stop, you said no more bed comments." Lily whined.

"Yes, under the condition that you told me why you were crying." James agreed.

"What makes you think I was crying?" Lily said evasively.

"I wonder if it could have been your red eyes or the tear marks on your cheeks?" James suggested. Lily sighed, knowing he had won.

"Okay, you know how you lifted my trunk?" Lily said.

"You're crying because I carried your trunk?" He asked in disbelief. "Okay, that is pretty dumb."

"No, it's because when I came back from school my dad and I were lifting it together and it was still heavy." Lily continued.

"So you were upset because I am so manly and muscular and you were fighting your true feelings for me all these years?" He suggested, moving back and allowing her to sit up.

"Dream on." Lily told him. "No. It just made me think that my dad isn't so strong. And that means that when Voldemort and the Death Eaters torture him, he won't be able to handle it." Lily said, her breath coming in small little puffs and she choked on her tears. It was lucky she was out of breath, as she noticed that the conductor was struggling to hear what she was saying.

"Oh Lily." James said simply. He put his arm around her again as the bus spun, and she burst into tears again, this time not bothering to fight them.

"James, you're next!" Yelled the conductor as they took off again.

"We can talk about this later, okay Lily? We're almost home." James told her soothingly.

"I can't let your parents see me like this!" Lily shrieked, wiping her eyes on his sleeve. "Can you tell I've been crying?" Lily asked.

"Yes. Don't worry about it, just be your usual charming self and they'll love you. Except don't be too much like your usual self, because then you'll bite their heads off and reject them every chance you get." James added after thinking about it.

"Oh, do shut up." Lily said with a sigh, taking deep breaths to calm herself.

"And don't say that either." James told her.

"You're not helping James. Don't make me nervous." Lily warned him. "Otherwise they'll kick me out on the street and I'll be homeless and friendless and Voldemort will hunt me down and kill me."

"Don't be so morbid." Said James, shivering. The bus came to a stop and the doors opened. James went to the back of the bus and got Lily's trunk from where it had slid during the ride.

James went out first, and Lily followed. No sooner had they stepped off the last step than the bus disappeared with a last call of 'Bye James, see you soon!' from the conductor.

"James!" Shrieked a woman, running outside. Lily looked up at a giant white house. There were balconies and porches, verandahs and pillars, there was a lovely garden and an archway covered in flowers. Lily couldn't believe her eyes. She felt as if she had been transported to fairy land.

Lily looked back to the front lawn, where a youngish woman who looked to be in her mid to late thirties was standing. She was wearing an apron and dusting her flour covered hands on it. She wore a pretty little red dress underneath that did not seem at all the type of thing Lily would have chosen to cook in, but all the same, she was wearing it. She had blonde hair and deep brown eyes the same shape as James's. She flew at James and hugged him tightly. She was a good head and shoulders shorter than her son, and crying into his shoulder of joy at seeing him alive and well.

She pulled back after a few minutes and slapped him across the face. James looked somewhat stunned.

"How dare you do that to me? You just disappeared! With no note! You didn't even tell Sirius where you went! How could you do that to me? Do you know how worried I've been? Your father too! He didn't go to work today because of it. He's been so scared you were dead. And you should have seen Sirius! Wandering and moping around like a ghost! Don't you dare do that to me again James Potter, do you hear me?" She yelled, shaking him slightly at the end of her tirade for emphasis. "Are you satisfied? You got the attention now! I hope you're happy, because you've had us all worried sick! Where the hell were you that you couldn't have even owled us? Was that so difficult, just a simple note telling us that you were alive?" She asked, in tears again.

"Mum, please don't cry!" Said a miserable James. "I'm really sorry, honestly I am. Please don't cry!" James begged.

"James why didn't you send an owl? I told you to send an owl." Lily asked him, disappointment in her voice.

"Not you too!" James said, throwing his hands in the air. "Look I'm sorry, it must have slipped my mind what with all the other things going on!" James cried out, exasperated.

"James are you planning on introducing me to your friend?" Asked Mrs. Potter.

"Lily, this is my mother. Mom, this is my, Lily." James said, not sure of what to call her. _My Lily. That has a nice ring to it _James thought dreamily. Perhaps he could make it true one day. Hopefully sooner rather than later.

"Nice to meet you Mrs. Potter." Lily said politely, and somewhat awkwardly. That was not exactly the introduction she had anticipated.

"You can call me Anne dear. How nice to meet you. Are you a friend of James's from school?" She asked pleasantly, tears abandoned.

"Yes, we're in the same year and same house, so we're in most of the same classes." Lily told her.

"How nice. Is he much of a trouble maker? His teachers say he is. Unless he gets his act together I don't know how he plans on getting a job at the ministry. His father can only do so much." She sighed. "Well, come in both of you. James you had better go find your father. And Sirius. I expect you to apologize profusely to them both for this. You have no idea how upset Sirius was." James rolled his eyes at Lily, but went off to find Sirius all the same. "So, Lily dear, where are you from?" Anne asked as they walked into the house.

The front hall at least was immaculate. There was not a speck of dust in the white marble floors, nor was there a thread of the Persian carpet out of place on the massive spiral staircase. The house was totally elegant and beautiful.

"I'm from Little Winging, Surrey." Lily told her.

"I wish I knew where that was, but I don't. My sense of direction is sadly lacking. I don't even know where I am right now, except that I'm close enough to London to go in for a day of shopping." She said laughing. She had a sweet laugh. Very pure, it rang true like silver. Lily smiled, she liked Mrs. Potter, or Anne, already. "So darling, do you cook?" Asked Anne conversationally.

"Why yes, as a matter of fact, I do." Lily told her cheerily, her tears forgotten.

"Really now? I was just having some of the house elves teach me. It's quite fun you know, just a flick of the wrist. Of course there is a technique." Anne explained enthusiastically. "I thought you said you cooked, dear?" Anne asked, looking at the puzzled expression on Lily's face.

"Well, yes I do. I muggle cook. I've never actually seen wizard cooking before." Lily said slowly, grasping Anne's meaning.

"More like witch cooking, dear." Anne said, laughing that silvery laugh of hers again. Lily laughed too. "But surely you must have seen magical cooking before, I know you can't use magic out of school, but surely your mother cooks? Or your father?" Asked Anne. The mention of her father almost brought Lily to the edge again, but she managed to remain calm.

"My parents are both muggles, actually." Said Lily hesitantly.

"How interesting! Did you know anything about Hogwarts before you were accepted? Do you have any older siblings who are witches or wizards? What's it like, living with muggles?" Anne asked enthusiastically. Lily realized that she had had no need to worry at all about whether or not James's parents would accept her for being a muggle. Everything would be fine. "I actually make a study of muggles, you see. I'm writing a thesis right now. I'd love to get a chance to talk to you about some of my points." She said, her eyes lighting up.

"That would be great!" Lily said. "James told me that his parents loved muggles, I didn't realize that you studied them though." Lily said, laughing again.

"Well, yes." Said Anne, somewhat sheepishly. "My husband and I are rather fond of muggles."

"So I gather." Lily replied.

"Speaking of James, where has he been?" Asked Anne, snapping back to attention. They were now sitting at the kitchen table, there were houselves bustling around them. Lily looked around, trying to avoid the question. She saw an island in the middle of the kitchen covered in flour, presumably where Anne had been working on her cooking before James returned home.

"I got into a spot of trouble, and James came to help me. I'm so sorry to have to impose on you like this. When professor Dumbledore said that I couldn't stay at home, James offered me a place to stay. I really hope it's not too inconvenient. I'll try to find another place if it is-" Lily said hurriedly, looking anxiously at Anne for her approval.

"Not at all dear! Don't think of it! We've heard so much about you from James and Sirius. Lily Evans is a famous name in this house. I wouldn't dream of turning you away, from the amount I hear of you, you're practically a celebrity." Anne said, laughing again.

"Really?" Lily asked incredulously, more than a little surprised.

"Of course you are!" Anne exclaimed. "He talks about you all the time!"

"What does he say?" Lily asked curiously.

"Well," Anne replied, lowering her voice into a conspiratorial whisper, "in addition to how beautiful and smart you are, that you know everything, and that you do nothing but homework. He says that you're afraid of heights, have been dating a 'slimy git' for the past three years, and that you 'have a temper to match your hair.'" Anne said, laughing at the end of each description. Lily blushed hotly, looking down so as not to make eye contact with Anne. She was afraid that she would die of embarrassment, and that she was at just as great a risk of bursting out laughing at the ridiculousness of James talking about her.

"Hi mum. I'm here to steal Lily away. You'll have to teach her to cook properly some other time, Lily." James said, winking. Lily smiled, standing up.

"All right, don't get into too much trouble. Why don't you show Lily to the guest bedroom? You can help her take her stuff up." Anne suggested.

"Sirius is on that." James said, turning towards the door. Anne winked at Lily just as she was about to turn to exit the room. Her wink was identical to James's, just as suggestive of mischief. Lily knew immediately where he got it. Lily could not wait to meet Mr. Potter.

**Authors Note: Okay the next chapter is really just a filler, and I'm still tweaking, but it'll be here next week without fail. I hope you realize the sacrifices i make for you guys. I have exams and everything! And yet I still post! The title of the next chapter is A Little Competition. Anyway**

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	5. A Little Competition

Authors Note: Hey all, this chapter is not one of my best, but I suppose it's a fun little filler…haha anyway, R&R and then we can move on to the better stuff…yay! Oh, ps, what do you think of the Potters? You like? Dislike? Hate with a burning passion? Anything? Indifferent? Whatever, you tell me. I think I like them, I liked that Anne started out all Stepford Wifey and then you found out that she was writing a thesis on muggle relations…haha. Was there too much winking going on?

Chapter 5

A Little Competition

She met him in the hall as she walked out to the entrance way.

"Dad, this is Lily." James said by way of an introduction.

"Lily, how nice to finally meet you after all we've heard about you." He said, holding out his hand. Lily could see James's ears turning pink with embarrassment. She was almost sure she heard him mutter 'Dad' under his breath. Mr. Potter chuckled at his son.

"Nice to meet you too, Mr. Potter. Thank you so much for letting me stay here." Lily replied, stretching out her own hand and shaking his. He had a very firm grip.

Mr. Potter looked young, but a few years older that his young wife. He had thick black hair, although Lily did notice more than one gray strand. He had the same facial features as James, and was, if possible, a few inches taller than his son.

"Oh it would be a crime not to, what with all the good things James has told us about you," Mr. Potter said. Then, to Lily's amazement, he winked. He too had the same wink as his wife and son. Now it was all becoming clear where James got his playful charm and winking habits from.

"Dad!" James said, not bothering to be subtle this time. Mr. Potter threw his head back and laughed heartily. It was obvious how glad he was to have his son back. He slapped James on the back, chuckling still.

"Never fear my boy, the ladies love to me complimented, aren't I right Lily dear?" He said, nudging her in the side.

"Of course, Mr. Potter." Lily said, also laughing a little. She was a tad bit intimidated by the loud and big personalities of all the Potter's, but they were so welcoming that it was hard not to feel at home.

"Come on Lily, I'll show you your room." James said, rolling his eyes and starting to lead the way up the stairs. "That is assuming that you don't want to sleep in my room." James suggested.

"I thought we agreed, James, no more bed jokes." Lily said angrily.

"I'm sorry about my parents." James said apologetically, casting a dirty look over his shoulder in the direction of the kitchen, where his father had gone to talk to Anne.

"Why? I think they're great!" Lily said enthusiastically.

"Really?" James asked.

"James, buddy, everyone loves your parents. You have no idea how good you have it. Honestly, you'd think you'd have realized this after years of people telling you." Sirius said, leaning against the frame of a doorway at the end of the hall and to the right.

"Sirius!" Lily said, hugging him.

"Lily!" Sirius mimicked, hugging her back. "So, you've finally decided to take James up on his offer of-"

"Seriously, you two have got to stop or I will turn right around and go back home." Lily threatened, waving her finger under Sirius's nose.

"All right, I was only teasing." Sirius said, throwing his hands up to show that he was unarmed.

Lily looked around, taking in her surroundings. There was a queen sized bed, and a white dresser. There was a photo of James o n the dresser waving at her happily. He appeared to be about 11 or 12, and was standing on a beach somewhere. One of the seagulls in the picture was making a scene about some french-fries it had found in the sand. There were white walls and white curtains at the window. There was a blue armchair in a corner next to some bookshelves that were full to bursting. Looking at the bookshelves regretfully, James sighed.

"I sure am going to miss that television set." He said regretfully. Lily flopped down on the bed. It was very comfortable.

"Is there somewhere I can take a shower?" Lily asked, she felt dirty from an afternoon of traveling. Not to mention the Knight Bus experience.

"Sure. There's a bathroom right through those doors." Sirius said, gesturing towards a corner.

"No, Lily don't go in there!" James said, hurrying to block the way.

"Why ever not?" Lily asked, taking a step back quickly.

"Yes James, why ever not?" Sirius said in a whiny voice.

"Trust me Lily, you do not want to go in there, okay? Just don't." James said protectively, turning her around and steering her to another door on the other side of the room.

"Oh, come on James. It would've been awful funny." Sirius complained. "She could have just taken a peek." Sirius said. James gave him a disapproving look, and then turned back to Lily.

"Towels, soap, and shampoo are all in there. Take as long as you want. I'll come back when dinner's ready." James offered.

"Thanks James." Lily said, closing the door behind her. A moment later, she emerged, shaking her head.

"James," she called, opening the door and peering out into the hall.

"Yes?" James said, opening the door across the hallway. Lily was startled to see him standing the close.

"Oh, well, I know I'm stupid, but how do you turn the water on?" Lily asked.

"Sorry about that, sometimes it acts up. Just turn it this way to change the heat, and then over here to turn it off." James explained, coming into the bathroom and showing her how to work it. Once the water was going he left her again, although he was much wetter now than when he had entered.

She took a long, relaxing shower, washing her hair thoroughly. When she emerged she felt good and clean. Showers always made her feel relaxed and calm. She, temporarily, had managed to put her fears and sadness aside.

She opened her trunk to get out some clean clothes, and pulled on jeans and a pink short sleeved crew cut shirt. She then wrapped the towel around her wet hair so that she would not drip all over the floor.

There was a white carpet on the floor, and she played with the softness between her toes. Looking at her watch, she saw with surprise that it was almost six o'clock. She opened her door and looked into the hallway.

"James?" She called tentatively. There was no response. She closed her door and went back inside. If she was going to go look for James, than she would need to get rid of this towel. If she ran into Anne or Mr. Potter wearing a towel around her hair, she felt that that would somehow be disrespectful.

She flipped her hair upside down and rubbed it with the towel until it was only damp. She then fished her brush out of her trunk and tore through her thick red strands. After a while, her hair was much dryer. It was very wavy, and more that a little frizzy, so to control it a little Lily pulled it into a ponytail at the base of her neck.

"James?" She called again, walking out into the hall. Again there was no response. Lily walked down the hallway in the direction she thought looked most promising. She peered into a few open doors, but saw nothing that looked lived in, and she knew she did not see James anywhere.

Down the hall and to her left she thought she heard voices, so she followed the noise. She turned down an adjoining corridor and heard the voices more clearly now.

"Don't be so mean, Sirius. You've got to stop pranking her, okay?" She heard James's voice say. She smiled, he was talking about her, no doubt. Lily entered the room. There was a pool table and some leather couches in the room. The carpeting here was even softer than that in her bedroom.

"Here you are." Lily said, knocking on the side of the door as she stood listening to Sirius's protests.

"Oh, hey Lily." Sirius said nonchalantly. "Good shower?" He asked. Lily eyed him suspiciously, wondering if there was a joke involved in this question. Was he maybe trying to trick her by asking this? Could that have some kind of sexual implication?

"Yes." She said, deciding that it was a harmless question. Sirius said nothing, although she could see the cogs turning in his brain. She had a pretty good idea in what direction this conversation would head if it were not redirected soon. "So, James, do I have to wear anything special to dinner? Do I have to be fancy or anything?"

"What you have on is fine. We're pretty laid back here." He replied.

"Great." Lily said, looking round again and then turning to leave, not having anything else to say. Sirius looked from James to Lily, and then sighed loudly.

"Want to join us Lily?" He conceded.

"Sure, is this like muggle pool?" She asked curiously, taking the stick in her hands.

"I guess. In muggle pool, what do you do?" James asked.

"You have to try and hit the balls into the pockets. Except each person either hits stripes or solids." Lily told him.

"Yeah, same thing. Only for us if you hit one of the other person's balls, then you get a penalty." Sirius informed her.

"Oh?" Lily asked.

"Yeah. We play strip pool here in the wizarding world." Sirius told her.

"Well then, I'll just watch you two play. I'd prefer to keep my dignity." Lily told him.

"He's making that up, Lily. We aren't playing strip pool." James told her, giving Sirius a reproachful look. "Here, I'll show you how you do it." James offered.

"Are you kidding? I could school in pool with my eyes closed." Lily informed him. Sirius snorted loudly and skeptically. "What? I could. Do you doubt it?" She challenged.

"You've never seen James play." Sirius told her, he had learned from experience that beating James was easier said than done. James had grown up with a pool table and two parents that doted on him. Of course he was amazing at pool.

"I don't need to have seen him play. I could whoop him, easy." Lily said haughtily.

"I'd like to take that challenge." James said, setting up the balls in the triangle.

"You break." Lily informed him. He eyed the ball, pulled back, and took his shot. The balls scattered to all ends of the table, but, fortunately for Lily, none went in.

Lily leveled the stick and prepared to shoot. She liked stripes. She took her shot and got one in. Sirius snorted again. She glared at him, and then prepared to take her second shot. This time, however, Sirius stood behind her and jerked the stick just as she was about to shoot.

"Not fair! Redo!" Lily cried. James shrugged, not really caring one way or the other.

"There are no redos! You've moved the balls now!" Sirius replied smugly. Lily growled a little, but stepped back, allowing James his turn at the balls. He got two in that turn before missing the hole by mere centimeters the next try.

"Come near me and you're dead." Lily informed Sirius menacingly as she prepared to take her shot. She closed one eye and looked at the balls. She shot and got one of her stripes in. She kept going. All but two of her balls had gone in where they were supposed to, and James still had only gotten a total of two in. Lily missed. She pounded her foot in frustration. James, cool as a cucumber, took his shot. And then another shot. And another. He never missed. Lily was just about to throw her hands in the air and admit defeat when his ball bounced out of the pocket. Lily looked at James. There was a fleeting look in his eyes that suggested to her that he had maybe missed on purpose.

"Corner pocket." Lily said, pointing to the far corner pocket. She had gotten both of her remaining balls in and was narrowing in on the eight ball. She leaned over the table. It was a hard shot, as she was a righty and was on the wrong side of the table. The pressure was on now. Sirius was chanting choke in the corner, crossing his fingers. Lily did not choke however. She won.

"Rematch, That was not fair." Sirius said, as soon as the ball had entered the hole.

"She won, fair and square. If anything I cheated. You cheated her out of that shot, otherwise she may very well have schooled me." James rebuked his overly competitive friend. Sirius mumbled something incoherent under his breath and sulked a little. He always took great pride in James's accomplishments. It was as if he saw them as his own accomplishments. So when James lost, it was as if he himself had lost. "Shall we go down to dinner?" James suggested, attempting to keep the peace between Lily and Sirius, who were both looking daggers at each other.

Lily, being hot tempered, would be quick to fly into a rage. And Sirius, being hard headed and competitive, would be quick to instigate a fight. That was the last thing James wanted to happen on Lily's first night here. His parents didn't like arguing.

Authors Note: I don't really want to tell you the title of the next chapter, because it might lead the dirtier minds among you to believe things that are not entirely true....but I will tell it to you with the assurance that it is not at all sexual. Sorry if this is a let down in any way....Its called A Night Time Visit.

Okay now review.


	6. A Night Time Visit

**Authors Note: So, how excited are you for this night time visit? Who's it going to be? I think you should all be able to guess by now...and if not...you're a loser. I love all of you! Especially those of you who reviewd my last chapter! Haha. Anyway, keep the reviews coming. Really, I want your feedback so I know how I'm doing and whether or not it makes sense to an objective outsider. **

Chapter 6

A Night Time Visit

Dinner had been prepared by the houselves, although, Anne informed them, she had made the dessert.

"So that means we won't be having dessert tonight, sorry Lily dear." Mr. Potter said, chuckling.

"That is not true. I made a delicious surprise for you, Lily darling." Anne said. Anne was sitting at the head of the table with Mr. Potter at the other head. James and Sirius were next to each other on one side of the table, and Lily was sitting on the other side. Thankfully, neither James nor Sirius were as rude as Vernon. They did not try anything under the table.

Dinner was lovely. Mr. Potter and Anne were very nice and welcoming to Lily. They did not ask any questions about why she was there, and although Lily found this odd, she also appreciated it. Her first thought was that James had maybe said something, her second thought was that maybe they were waiting for her to tell them on her own time.

Mr. Potter reminded Lily very strongly of his son. He was always joking around with the boys, and teasing Lily and Anne. The cake that Anne had prepared for them was delicious after all. She did, however, confide to Lily that she had had a good deal of help from the houselves, and that not a lot of the cake was actually made directly by her.

"Dear, you simply must teach me how to make something the muggle way. Tomorrow, how about?" Suggested Anne.

"I'd love to, but I warn you, it's not very interesting. There's much more cleaning and waiting involved than there is actually cooking." Lily cautioned her.

"I've always wanted to learn to cook the muggle way." Anne said dreamily, not heading Lily's warning.

"Meaning she only just thought of it this afternoon, and has been wanting to do it for a few hours." Mr. Potter clarified. Everyone laughed.

"Also meaning that as soon as she starts it, she'll realize that Lily is right and lose interest." James added. His father laughed and patted him on the back. He took a large gulp of his wine and wiped his mouth with his napkin.

"Shall we go to the living room and have some tea before bed?" Suggested Anne.

"A wonderful idea!" Mr. Potter declared, standing. Lily wondered if maybe he were the slightest bit tipsy.

They had some green tea, so that they would not stay awake all night, and some after dinner chocolates. All told, Lily thoroughly enjoyed her evening. She went back up to her bedroom and was not even thinking about her family, or the Death Eaters.

Then, just as she was about to fall asleep, she remembered that the reason she was at the Potter's home was because she was not safe at her own him. That train of thought then led her to memories of her dad.

They say that whatever you are thinking of before you fall to sleep is what you dream of that night. Whether or not that was true, that night Lily dreamed of her father.

She was no longer so close to the pain that she could not realize it. The shock was wearing off and the dull ache was settling in for a good long stay. She knew that next would come the numbness and emptiness, but right now there was only that ache.

The dream was a sequence of memories. He father lifting her into the air and throwing her, catching her again. Her father running with her on the beach and collecting shells with her. The memories were disjointed, and not in any certain order. They were not chronological, nor were they related. They were not even all happy. She had a memory of her father yelling at her for hitting Petunia following a memory of reading with her father. She saw images of her father lifting her up from the pavement where a young Lily was crying in pain and pointing at her knee. She saw images of herself riding her first bike, a pink one with a flower basket and streamers coming from the handles. She remembered how her father and her used to go fishing together sometimes in the mornings.

Lily woke with tears in her eyes. She choked on a sob and rolled to her side. She began to sob hard into her pillow, wishing that she could do something to get her dad back. She would have willingly turned herself in to the Death Eaters if she had not been smarter than that. She knew that if the good lost, her father would be killed anyway as soon as Voldemort was in power. She also knew that Dumbledore needed her in order to win.

She just had to have faith in Dumbledore's ability to track down his kidnappers. If only she were more skilled in the art of inducing those dreams. Perhaps then she would be able to locate and save her father.

Lily filled herself with a steely resolve to work harder than ever in her sessions with Dumbledore so that she would be able to locate her father. That was assuming that Dumbledore hadn't already done so by the time school started again. Hopefully Dumbledore would have found him by that time.

It was July 27, and there was still a month and a half until school was to start again. Lily hoped it would not take that long, as she did not know how long her father would last.

These thoughts caused her sobs to be renewed in full force.

There was a tapping on her door. It was very faint, and Lily thought that perhaps she had imagined it. She sat up, wiping her eyes on her sleeve.

The tapping came again, slightly louder this time.

Confused, Lily put one foot on the floor and then the second. She walked across the floor to the door and opened it quietly. There was a tiny squeaking sound as the door rotated on the hinges, but Lily was not worried about waking anyone.

It was James at her door, wearing boxers and an oversized tee shirt. Lily looked surprised to see him, and quickly looked down the hall and behind him to see if he were alone. He was.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked, pushing past her and closing the door. They were plunged into almost complete darkness, save for a pale blue light coming faintly through the white filmy curtains.

"Talk about what?" Lily asked, sniffing a little. She was grateful to the dark for hiding her face, as she knew it was bound to be blotchy and red. He would know in a second that she had been crying. In response, James walked to the window and pulled back the curtain, flooding the room with the soft moonlight.

"You've been crying." He said, stepping close to her.

"No I haven't" Lily denied quickly. James reached out and touched her cheek, he could feel the wetness on her skin, and see the tear tracks on her face.

"Don't lie, Lily. It's okay to cry." He said, sitting down on the edge of her bed and motioning for her to sit as well. "Are you sure your okay, Lily?" James asked when she did not speak.

"I'm fine." She lied again.

"You aren't! Lily, no one would be okay if their father were abducted by evil wizards! No one expects you to be okay! You don't have to be strong all the time." James told her, whispering loudly. Lily sat next to him and started crying silently.

"If I had been there, I might have been able to save him." Lily said quietly. James put his arm around her shoulder and pulled her close. She cried harder, her entire body shaking.

"That's not true Lily, there were four of them, and they are legally allowed to use magic. They could have killed you." James said, holding her tightly.

"But I could have done something, found out who they were, recognized them maybe. Anything!" Lily said, still in tears. "How long do you think he'll last? He's not so young anymore James. They'll kill him. And even if they don't, he'll never be the same after this." Lily said, shaking harder. She leaned into his shoulder and cried hard. James did not say anything, he just made shushing noises, stroking her hair. He rubbed her back as she calmed slightly.

"There was nothing you could have done." James told her.

"I know." Lily said, crying softly now.

"Do you want to tell me what that scene was all about with Dumbledore today? What was he going on about? Powers, lessons, dreams, what did it all mean?" James asked her.

"I have powers to have prophetic dreams, I suppose. Dumbledore has been training me, apparently I have substantial powers, and he needs me help to hunt the Death Eaters. I could have stopped all this from happening if only I had been able to control those blasted dreams!" Lily said, pounding James's chest with her balled hand. "Sorry James, I didn't mean to!" She gasped, realizing she had hit him.

"Lily, I told you not to talk like that. There was nothing you could have done. You might not have seen it coming, who knew they would try something like this?" James said, ignoring her punch.

"But I should have been able to! That's the problem. If only I had worked harder with Dumbledore, or gone to more lessons. I could have stopped it." Lily said.

"How?" James asked her.

"Well, I could have at least been there." Lily said, frustrated.

"Why? So that they could have killed you on the spot? If Dumbledore needs your help to win this, than you have to stay safe." James told her. His arm was still around her shoulders. She was shivering slightly, as it was a cold night and she was wearing a thin shirt.

"This is all my fault. They never would have taken him if it weren't for me." Lily said sadly.

"Lily, this isn't your fault, okay?" James said, standing and going to a small closet that Lily had not previously noticed. From within it he took out a blanket. He draped it around her shoulders to help keep her warm, then he sat next to her again and wrapped the other end around himself.

"I just feel so guilty."

"Well don't. We need to keep you safe. Your father will be fine, he can take care of himself. You'll see. Dumbledore will have him back in a second." James said confidently. Lily sighed, lying back on the pillows and swinging her legs up on to the bed. James lay next to her.

"Thanks James." There was silence for a while. "Hey James?" Lily asked, rolling onto her side to look at him.

"Yes Lil?" James answered.

"Should I tell your parents all about this?" She asked.

"Only if you want to." He told her.

"Hey James?" She asked again, after another pause.

"Yes Lil?" James replied.

"Thank you."

"What for?" He asked, confused.

"Everything. Bringing me here, being so nice, coming here tonight. For your parents. For letting me beat you in pool." Lily said, smiling. She rolled back onto her back and stared at the ceiling.

"Who says I let you win?" James asked defensively.

"I saw you." Lily informed him. He smiled as well, and rolled back onto his back as well. They were silent some more. Lily fell asleep soon after.

James lay on his side for a while, watching her breath deeply and steadily. There were still marks on her cheeks from where she had been crying. He wished that he could have stopped her from having to live with this pain and guilt. He wanted her to always be happy. He hated seeing her miserable. James wanted to be able to make it all better, to make her pain go away. He stroked her face gently and stood up. He secured the blanket around her, making sure that she would stay warm. He closed the curtains, and quietly slipped back to his room.

Lily had no more dreams that night.

**Authors Note: How cute is that? Sighs….Well Review because the next few chapters (I hope) are going to be equally fluffy. Maybe. Actually maybe I'll throw some drama in there…mmm, there's something to think about. Well why don't you review and tell me what you want to happen? I love you all! I'll post soon I swear! **


	7. The Apple and The Tree

**Authors Note: Hey guys, this chapter is pretty short, but I have a feeling that you'll all enjoy it imensly...except those of you who were pulling for Lily to get back with Severus...haha. And thanks for all of your reviews, they keep me going, I swear. I have some more chapters to post soon, but if you're bored, go check out my too many tears to cry story. Or some of the stories in my favorites, theyre good too. So anyway, enjoy! I am posting earlier than scheduled in honor of exams being over, and also in hoinor of school being out soon for the holidays. yippeee!! Anyway, happy holidays my friends from me to you.**

Chapter 7

The Apple and the Tree

The next morning Lily woke up happy. She remembered last nights conversation, and realized that James was right. There was no point blaming herself. There was nothing that she could have done. She couldn't stop herself from being scared, however.

But the morning was bright, and she was well rested, and it was hard to be sad and scared when the birds were chirping and the sun was turning your bedroom lovely shades of gold and yellow.

She went downstairs smiling and found Anne in the kitchen, obviously attempting to back something, although it was unclear to Lily exactly what.

"Lily dear! There you are. Did you have a nice sleep?" Asked Anne cheerfully. She seemed to always be happy.

"Yes thank you, very nice." Lily said. "How about you?" Lily asked politely.

"Oh, aren't you sweet. I don't sleep that much actually. I was working on my thesis until late, I was just about to go to bed when I got distracted. I remembered that I had been making cupcakes and came rushing down here only to remember that I don't even know how to make cupcakes! It had been a dream after all!" Lily laughed. "And that got me thinking that maybe I should learn, so I've been trying to get this recipe right ever since." Lily laughed again, until she realized that Anne wasn't joking. She must have been awake all night.

"Would you like some help?" Lily asked, looking around at the messy and disheveled kitchen.

Anne, however, look perfectly pristine as always. Lily was amazed that someone could have been awake all night working on a thesis and cooking and still look perfectly well put together and wide awake. Although her dress did appear somewhat wrinkled, and Lily noticed that it was the same dress she had been wearing the previous afternoon.

"That would be lovely. Thank you dear. Why don't I just nip upstairs and shower first though? I lost track of time and I've been wearing this same outfit for over a day now!" She declared. Lily smiled, Anne appeared to have had the same thoughts as herself.

Lily wandered out of the kitchen to find something to amuse herself while waiting for Anne to finish her shower. She saw that James and Sirius and Mr. Potter were all outside on their brooms.

Lily ventured outside herself and sat in one of the many cushioned lawn chairs on the patio. She watched the men tossing a quaffle around for a while until Sirius noticed her.

"Want to join us Lily?" He called. "We can play a little two-on-two." He yelled to her from the field, lowering down to the ground.

"Oh no thank you. I wouldn't be very good, I would just bring down whoever my partner was." Lily said laughing lightly.

"Oh do Lily! It'll be fun!" Called Mr. Potter, also dropping to the ground. James dove too, looking a little suspicious of his father and Sirius, wondering what they were planning to do.

"I don't know, I don't have a broom or anything, and I'm not very good at flying." Lily told them cautiously.

"Borrow one of James's old ones, you wouldn't mind, would you son?" Asked Mr. Potter of his son who was walking towards Lily a few paces behind his father and friend.

"Not at all, but if Lily doesn't want to play then we shouldn't ma-"

"Nonsense, of course she wants to play, don't you Lily? It can't possibly be any fun just sitting here watching." Said Mr. Potter enthusiastically. "Acio Cleansweep!" He called, revealing his wand from an inside pocket.

"Well, I suppose I could-" Lily started.

"Excellent, here you go." Said Mr. Potter exuberantly, thrusting the broom at her chest. Lily took it, smiling a little nervously.

She followed the men across the field and mounted the broom. She had not flown since the first year when they had had their flying lessons. She did not really feel very comfortable in the air, it always made her slightly queasy.

"Up you come." Called Sirius from above her. She realized that the others had all already taken off, and were waiting for her. Reluctantly she pushed off from the ground, zooming into the air. To be sure, James's broom was much nicer than the brooms at school, and she had much more control than she had ever had during her flying lessons, but she was still a little rusty and not entirely sure of what she was doing.

"Left." She muttered to her broom, staring at it fixedly, trying to coax it to turn so that she would be facing the others. Instead her broom spun in a circle, making her feel more than a little ridiculous.

"Not like that, Lil." James said, laughing as he flew over to help her. "Look, like this." He showed her how to apply pressure to the handle so that the broom would do what she wanted.

"Oh." She said, blushing. She didn't like not being good at things.

"Ok so let's have me and James against Lily and Mr. Potter." Sirius suggested.

"That doesn't seem fair! you boys are both young and know what you're doing, I'm too old and Lily is too inexperienced." Mr. Potter argued.  
"You're not old, Mr. Potter." Sirius told him.

"I am so, and either way the teams aren't fair, you two can practically read each others thoughts." Mr. Potter declared.

"Well so can you and James." Sirius rebutted.

"So than what about Lily and James against you and I?" Mr. Potter suggested.

"That is, of course, unless you would rather not be partnered with an old fogy like me." Mr. Potter asked Sirius. "Or perhaps you'd rather have Lily be your partner yourself?" Said Mr. Potter, obviously hinting something. Sirius scowled, and then laughed playfully, his sense of humor and fun getting the better of him.

"It would be my pleasure to play with you, Mr. Potter." Sirius said. "We'll show them how it's really done, won't we?" Sirius declared enthusiastically.

Just as Lily was about to be humiliated beyond all comparable measure, Anne emerged from the house.

"There you are Lily, what are you lot up to?" Anne asked.

"We were just about to school James and Lily in a little two-on-two, Anne." Sirius told her.

"Well I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I am going to have to steal Lily away from you boys." Anne informed them. She winked at Lily as Lily sighed gratefully. Anne laughed.

Lily flew down to the ground with minor difficulties and dismounted her broom.

"You can leave the broom on the patio Lily." Mr. Potter said regretfully. "Maybe we can play later."

"Yes, maybe we can." Lily agreed, although she rather hoped not.

"Thank you for saving me from what I'm sure would have been an extremely painful and humiliating experience." Lily said to Anne as soon as they were back inside and could hear to boys yelling at each other over the rules of their invented game.

"You have no idea how happy I am to finally have another woman in the house!" Anne said. "It's usually so dull around here, all by myself. It was my pleasure to rescue you." Anne told her. "So Lily, will you teach me to make cupcakes the muggle way?" Anne and Lily had a wonderful afternoon making cupcakes.

The first batch was ruined because when Lily turned her back for a moment to preheat the oven Anne added 2 cups of salt rather than 2 teaspoons. Another time Lily was putting the paper in the cupcake tin when Anne added 4 white eggs rather than 4 egg whites, ruining a second batch. The cakes in the third batch were burned because Anne set the oven to 530 degrees rather than 350. Finally they managed to scrounge a decent batch, and they actually tasted pretty good.

At the smell of cupcakes cooking, the boys returned to the house with ruddy cheeks from an afternoon of flying. They ate cupcakes heartily, and soon there was nothing left to show for Lily and Anne's labors except the contented expressions on everyone's faces.

"I hope you never insult my cooking again." Anne said, addressing her husband with a smile, flushed from her victory.

"I never will, so long as you keep making cupcakes like that." He said, planting a kiss on her lips. "We'll have to keep this one around, won't we?" He said, gesturing towards Lily and winking at James.

Lily and James both blushed, it was impossible to miss his all too plain meaning. They both looked in different directions, causing the other three occupants of the room to laugh uproariously at their discomfort.

"So Prongs, what do you want to do tonight?" Sirius asked after the laughing had died down.

"I dunno Padfoot, what do you propose?" James replied.

"Prongs? Padfoot?" Lily asked, puzzled. She did not remember having heard those names mentioned before.

"They're just a nicknames." James said, shrugging.

"What is there to do around here? Not much trouble to get into out in the middle of nowhere, is there?" Sirius, or Padfoot as he was apparently called, said.

"No, thank goodness, otherwise I'm sure you boys would have gotten into it." Anne said, rather more severely than Lily had heard her before. "I've been meaning to talk to you boys about this." She said firmly, ignoring her husbands looks. "I got notices from your teachers again about your behavior at school! Jinxes being used outside the classroom, cursing people needlessly, what is this all about?" She asked, directing the question at James, although it was clear that she was including Sirius as well.

"It only happened a few times, mum." James told her.

"Yeah, honestly Anne, it's nothing." Sirius told her quickly.

"Not according to your teachers. I know I'm not your mother Sirius, so there's not much I can do, but James you will not have parental consent to go into Hogsmede at all until these negative reports stop. I warned you last time this happened! I did not raise my son to behave this way! I will not have a bully for a child, so this nonsense had better stop, and soon." She said, putting up her hands when James and Mr. Potter both started to argue. "And if you dare to give it to him behind my back you will be sleeping on the couch for the rest of the foreseeable future!" She said, addressing her husband now. "Don't even try it, as I will be writing to the school to tell them." James sulked, as did Sirius.

"Mom! That's not fair!" James said, outraged.

"And I suppose it was fair when you cursed those people for no reason?" She demanded. That shut him up. "Don't even try anything, young man." Anne told him. James skulked off a few moments later when it was clear that she had said all she wanted to say.

Lily looked at James's retreating back and then at Anne, not sure what she should do.

"I'm sorry you had to see that Lily. He's a good boy really, I know that, he just gets so out of control." Anne said with a sigh. Lily did not really know what to say. "I'm sorry to put you in this position, Lily, it's not fair to you I know, but will you go talk to him? He doesn't listen to me." Anne said, looking haggard. "He thinks of me as a pal, not as a parent. And you don't help either!" She said, flaming up at her husband again. Lily quietly slipped away to find James and Sirius, avoiding getting caught up in another fight. "You're just like him you know!" She heard Anne saying. "Well I suppose the apple doesn't fall very far from the tree, but honestly! When you act the same way as a teenage boy…"

Lily couldn't hear the rest of her statement as she walked farther away from the kitchen. She smiled a little, it was true, James and his father were very much alike.

"Sorry you had to see that, Lily." James said, ambushing him as she rounded a corner. "Now will you let me apologize for my parents?" He was smiling, although he did look embarrassed.

"No. You've seen how dysfunctional my family is, at least your parents are nice to guests. And I like your parents." Lily said. "Every family is supposed to have a little dysfunction, that's the way it works. Otherwise it wouldn't be a family." Lily told him.

"I suppose so." James said. Lily as amazed to see that he was actually chuckling at her.

"What? What's funny?" She demanded.

"Oh, nothing." He told her. "Honest, nothing." He told her as she narrowed her eyes suspiciously.

"All right. You know James, you really should stop misbehaving so much." Lily told him.

"Oh Lily, you are so naive. You haven't seen anything yet." Sirius said, walking up behind her. "Just wait until school starts." Lily rolled her eyes in response to that, they were all talk she was sure.

The next few weeks were very pleasant ones. Anne and Mr. Potter had apparently made up, as they were acting even more lovey dovey than usual.

One afternoon they went into Diagon Alley to shop for their school supplies. Lily was once again a prefect, and Anne was very proud of her. She had not been in the least surprised when neither Sirius or James was selected and gave them a lecture about how they could never expect to get honors like that if they continued to behave the way they did.

Other than that, they settled into a routine. Lily woke up at her leisure every morning, and went down and got herself some breakfast. Anne was usually in the kitchen or catching up on the sleep she hadn't gotten the night before.

Lily felt as comfortable in the Potter home as she did in her own home. She would sometimes sit outside on the patio if the weather was nice, and she managed constantly to avoid playing two-on-two with the boys.

On the rare occasions that she was trapped into getting on a broom, Anne always arrived in the knick of time. Lily sometimes wondered whether or not she had some kind of second sight.

Afternoons were for cooking with Anne or helping her with her thesis on muggles. Anne bombarded her with questions about electronics and plugs and telephones. When she found out that James had watched television and used a remote she was very jealous and excited.

In the evening they would have dinner and tea and sometimes play games as a family or else she, James, and Sirius would go upstairs and hang out or do homework.

She and James became very close. He understood how she felt about things, and he made her feel safe and secure with who she was. They could talk about anything. Sirius too grew accustomed to Lily's presence and stopped trying to prank her at every opportunity. He had been jealous of the intrusion at first, but was now friendly with her.

One night, the night before term started, Lily and James and Sirius were all sitting in the room with the pool table, not doing much of anything.

"Well, I'm out." Sirius said. His voice sounded odd, as if he were reading a script. "I want to be well rested, tomorrow's a big day after all." Sirius said. "And I need my beauty sleep." He stood and stretched, yawning. He then left the room quickly, not looking over his shoulder.

Lily looked quizzically at James, who shifted in his seat, avoiding her eyes.

"So, Prongs." She said, laughing as she always did whenever she thought of the nickname. They had still failed to tell her why they had chosen the nicknames they did, but she had stopped thinking anything of it. "What shall we do with ourselves this evening?" Lily asked. It was early still, which was why it was so odd for Sirius to be going to sleep.

"It's really nice outside, fancy a walk?" James asked.

"Sure." Lily said. The moon was full so the patio outside was flooded with a soft moonlight. It reminded her of her first night at the Potter's house when she had been crying and James had comforted her. She smiled a little, filled with a mixture of pain and pleasure. Dumbledore had not contacted her with any information about her father. "So…" she said after they had been walking for a few moments without speaking.

"Wait here." James said abruptly, stopping in the middle of the field where they played quiddich and running back to the house. Lily looked puzzled, but didn't have a chance to say anything as he had already disappeared into the dark.

She turned around, feeling a little scared. It was suddenly much colder without James's presence by her side, and she was not overly fond of the darkness, with or without a full moon.

It was oddly quiet outside, save for the occasional chirping of the crickets and the rustling of the grass. An owl hooted, causing Lily to jump. The wind whistled through the trees and Lily turned to see where the noise had come from. Just then she heard a whistling not made from the wind and was turning when she was suddenly in the air.

She felt James's arm around her waist and his hand over her mouth. Her legs were dangling in midair, and she tried to scream but the sound was muffled. She would have elbowed James, but if she had she would have fallen to the hard ground, with only a thin layer of grass to cushion her fall.

James removed the hand from her mouth, making a shushing sound, letting her know that she was to be quiet. She didn't even breath from fear. She was in the dark, 20 feet in the air. She felt the broom shake a little as James lifted her on in front of him.

"What do you think you're doing Potter?" She hissed venomously. "You know I don't like flying!" She told him in a loud whisper.

"I finally have you in the air, Moonshine." He said. He had taken to calling her that as a reference, she could only imagine, to their late night encounter with the moon filling the bedroom. The name always caused a flicker of joy in her stomach. "You've been avoiding coming up here all summer, I couldn't let you go back to school without having a good fly." He said cheekily. His tone made her nervous, although she couldn't help but feel safe with the pressure of his forearms around her waist. "Hold on." He whispered in her ear through her hair.

She groped behind her to find a grip on his waist as he dove. They flew in loops and turns, rocketing in the air one second, and then diving the next, leveling off after a few moments. After the first bout of nausea, she had to admit it was rather fun.

"So admit it, Moonshine, you had a good time." He said as they leveled off, once again 20 feet in the air.

"I suppose it wasn't so bad." She relented, her hands still holding tightly to his waist.

She noticed that he was no longer gripping the handle, but that his hands had wandered to her waist. She could feel his breath on her neck and it sent a little shiver down her back. She could feel the hair on the back of her neck rising. He brushed her wind tossed hair out off her neck and kissed it. His lips were soft and warm, just as she remembered them. His mouth made its way up her neck and she turned her head to meet them with hers as they reached her face. They kissed for a while, suspended in midair, before Lily pulled back.

"James-" She said breathlessly. He kissed her open mouth again, harder now. Her arms were over her head wrapped around his neck. She toyed with his hair between her fingers before remembering herself. "James!" She said more firmly, although still whispering hoarsely as she did not want to wake the rest of the house. He could not hear her fully as their lips were still together, but he could feel that she was trying to say something.

"What, isn't this what you want?" He asked, pulling back.

"I don't know James. We can't just-" She said, not knowing exactly what it was they couldn't do.

"I thought that we had something going on between us." He said, a little sadly. "I'm sorry if I was wrong." The broom sank slowly to the ground as his heart fell. The lovely Lily had rejected him again.

"James, I'm sorry." She said lamely.

"You have nothing to be sorry for, Lil, it was my mistake." He said.

They walked back to the house, James holding the broom, in silence. Lily felt upset with both herself and with James. She wanted him, or at least she thought she did.

But things were so messed up right now, and she wanted to keep James as a friend. She didn't want to mess with that, but maybe she already had. She needed someone to talk to, but felt that if that person was also the person she was kissing, it would complicate things. And what would happen if things went wrong again, as they always did? Who would she talk to then? Not Holly, certainly. And not Janette or Caroline. No, it was safer if she and James stayed friends. That was how it had to be, to protect their friendship.

When he left her at her door and turned to enter his own bedroom she felt a pang somewhere in the region of her chest. He seemed a little disappointed. _'Well what did you expect?' _Lily asked herself as she closed the door to her bedroom. _'That he would be elated that you had rejected him again?' _She changed angrily and dove under the covers, pounding the pillows. _'Why does he always have to mess things up right when they're getting to be really good?' _was her last waking thought.

That night she had dreams of flying with James, her stomach plunging and rising with the broom, his arms around her waist, the wind blowing through her hair...

**Authors Note: Okay, i did my job, now you do yours! Tell me what you think/what you want to happen next!! Yay! haha, now go push the little button that says "Go"!!**


	8. Back to Hogwarts

Chapter 8

Back to Hogwarts

Lily woke the next morning to a bright sunny day, reflecting exactly he opposite of her disposition. But as she had already discovered, it was impossible to stay angry with James, especially on a sunny day. Her heart gave the familiar leap when James greeted her with the familiar 'Morning Moonshine' that she received every morning.

The Potters were not overly stressed out about getting to the platform on time. They had plenty of time, apparently. Lily, however, was a little more stressed out. When Sirius came downstairs two hours before they had to arrive at the platform, and the drive to London was an hour, saying that he still hadn't packed, Lily freaked out a little. She chased Sirius up to his room telling him that he had better be packed in 15 minutes flat.

With a little marshalling from Lily, they arrived at Kings Cross with ten minutes to spare. Lily wondered what her friends would say when they found out where she had spent her summer. She walked through the barrier between Sirius and James. She felt as if everyone was staring at her as they emerged onto the platform, although of course no one was actually looking at her.

She looked around quickly, scanning the crowd for a sign of Holly or Janette or Caroline, but didn't see them anywhere. She got onto the train and located an empty compartment. One of the benefits of arriving a little early, she thought to herself as James helped her with her trunk. She smiled at the memories that conjured, and, meeting his eyes, realized that he was thinking the same things as her.

Sirius glanced from one of them to the other and shook his head with disgust. They all sat down in the compartment and chatted casually about the new term. Just as the whistle was blowing Janette, Caroline, and Holly all showed up in the compartment door, looking rather hassled. Holly, seeing Sirius, narrowed her eyes and made a snorting sound of disgust.

They had had a really messy break up, as all of Sirius's breakups generally were, when she discovered him cheating on her. He had told her that he couldn't go to Hogsmede with her as he had a detention with professor Randell, so she had gone with Janette. She had discovered him in the three broomsticks, chatting up Rosmerta the barmaid. She wore a sour expression on her face every time she entered the three broomsticks after that.

"Hey Lily." They all said, looking a little confused to see her talking so cheerfully with James.

"Good summer?" Caroline asked, ignoring James and Sirius. She apparently still thought that they were mad at both of them.

"Yeah it was pretty good." Lily admitted, looking at James and smiling. The three girls, who were obviously on the outside of some joke, looked at each other puzzled. "How was yours?" She asked Caroline.

"It was amazing! We traveled all over Europe! I tried writing you, but my owl kept coming back with my letters." She said, again giving Lily a puzzled look. Lily couldn't conceal her glee over her friends mystified expressions.

"Well, now that your friends have arrived I'll be off to find Wormtail and Moony, coming Padfoot?" James said, looking from one girl to another.

"Definitely. Right behind you Prongs." Sirius said, leaping to his feet as if he had been burned, and throwing Holly a wary glance on his way out. She was shooting daggers at him with her eyes again.

"So, are you planning on explaining that?" Janette asked her as soon as the compartment door closed.

"I spent the summer with James." Lily said casually. "And Sirius." She added by way of an afterthought. There was a stunned silence following this proclamation.

"You did what?" Holly said, stunned.

"I spent the summer with James and Sirius at James's house." Lily said again. She didn't bother to explain why. She didn't trust herself to talk about her father, and she wasn't entirely sure that Dumbledore would like it. She couldn't trust her friends to keep it secret, Holly had notoriously loose lips in more ways than one, and she could count on Caroline telling Ben everything.

"What?" Holly asked again, acting as if she must have misheard.

"I spent the-" Lily started to say again.

"No, I heard you the first time." Holly informed her irritably. "I thought you were joking. Are you joking?" Holly asked.

"Do you really think I would joke about something like that?" Lily asked severely.

"I wouldn't have guessed it before now, but you must be. Because that's just impossible." Holly said, practically gasping for breath.

"Well start believing the unbelievable. Because it's true." Lily informed her calmly.

"Are you two an item again then?" Holly demanded.

"Of course not, he's just a really good friend. So anyway, what did you two do over the summer?" Asked Lily, trying to change the subject.

"Hold up, I'm not finished with you yet." Holly said. "Did you two...you know, do anything? Did he just invite you, randomly?" She asked.

"Well it wasn't entirely random at the time. But basically. No we didn't do anything." Lily said, although she could feel the blood rushing to her face at the memory of their broom ride. Holly spluttered, but apparently could not think of anything else to add. "So anyway, Caroline, how was Europe?" Asked Lily, turning from Holly so that she wouldn't notice the faint smile tugging at the corners of her mouth at the memory she was reliving.

She did not really pay much attention to Caroline's rambling about Ben and Italy and France and Spain and Ben's parents. Every time she said how amazing Ben or his family were, Lily remembered Anne's smile, Mr. Potter's winking, and James just being James.

"I have to go report for prefect duties." She said after a while, cutting Caroline off mid sentence.

"Ok, well we'll talk tonight." Janette said, looking at her puzzled, she made it sound like almost a question.

"Of course." Lily reassured her, pulling open the door. Lily made her way to the front of the train. She did not really have to go report for anything, she just felt an insatiable desire to get up and walk around. _'What's wrong with me? These are my best friends and I haven't seen them in weeks, I should want to hear everything they have to say' _Lily reprimanded herself.

She walked up and down the corridors for a while, but found nothing to occupy herself. Just as her mind began to wander back to James and Sirius and her summer and how she always loved talking to them, she heard shouts.

"Your dad is a monster! He kills innocent people and you should be ashamed of yourself!" Shouted an unfamiliar voice.

"Well your dad is weak, and poor, and has no gumption. He's a coward and you are too!" Replied another voice. She heard some banging and then a sob. She rushed in the direction of the screams, now hearing only muffled screams.

"What's going on here?" Lily demanded, slamming on the door to the compartment that she had hear the noises from. There were still banging sounds coming from inside it. The door was locked and she could not open it. "Open this door!" She yelled. There was no response from inside, so she brought out her wand. "Allhoamora!" She yelled, pointing at the lock. The door flew open and she stood in the doorway, watching the scene of chaos in front of her.

There was a blond boy with a bloody nose who appeared to be crying. Lily could not tell for sure, however, as his face was covered in dirt and scrapes. There were three older boys in the room. One boy with dark hair and hard eyes who she knew to be a fifth year Slytherin was holding the boy by the arms. Another boy who she recognized as Antonin Dolahov from Slytherin and a sixth year was still hitting the little blonde boy. There was also Severus Snape.

Lily almost fell over herself in surprise. How could he be participating in this? To be sure, he was not actually physically hitting the boy, but he was a prefect and he was standing watching this abuse.

"What is going on here?" Lily demanded of Dolahov.

"This little wretch was insulting my family and my father." He said cheekily and defiantly. She did notice, however, that his eyes wandered first to her wand, then to her badge.

"And why was he doing that, when he was out numbered three to one?" Lily questioned him.

"I don't know, because he's ruddy cheeky. Maybe now he'll know not to insult pure bloods. You'd do well to remember that yourself, missy." He said.

"And what, exactly, is that supposed to mean?" She demanded.

"Just that a mudblood such as yourself would do well to mind the wishes of your superiors." He told her, his eyes glittering with defiance.

"Detention, all three of you. I will be reporting this incident to the headmaster. Get out of here, all three of you!" She yelled, pointing furiously to the door. "You stay here, honey." She said to the younger boy. "You're okay now, no ones going to beat you up." She said.

"Oh yeah, order us around will you?" Said Dolahov, not moving from his position. "I thought I just warned you to watch yourself around your superiors, wench." He said, spitting on the ground at her feet.

"Well, if I see anyone superior to me I'll be sure to remember that." Lily said saucily. "And I thought I told you to get out, now." Lily said with an icy calm in her voice now.

"Try and make me." Dolahov said, removing his own wand from his waste band.

"I don't think you want to go there." Lily said coldly.

"Care to take a bet on it?" He asked.

"You two, leave. You can watch you little vermin, see what happens when mudbloods cross with powerful pure bloods." Dolahov said, spitting again. Lily immediately shot a freezing sell at him, followed by a full body bind and a stunning spell. He would not likely get out of that in a hurry. She then rounded on Severus and the other boy, who had not yet moved towards the door.

"You had best leave before I give you the same." She warned. Severus bolted straight away, but the other boy stood his ground, removing his wand from his waste band.

"That last duel was a sneaky, unfair, underhanded muggle trick. Fight me fair and we'll see who is victorious." The boy said snidely.

"Well, I'll see, by the time I'm done with you, you won't be seeing much of anything." Lily said, bowing. He bowed as well, not removing his eyes from hers. "Might I know the name of my opponent?" She asked as they circled each other.

"Barty Crouch." Said the boy hostilely.

"I see, and would you like to know my name?" She asked as politely as she could under the circumstances, eyeing him up and down, waiting for him to make a move.

"I know who you are." He said shortly. "Everyone knows who you are, you're the stuck up Lily Evans girl who thinks she's better than pure blood wizards. You're the one who always follows rules, doesn't know how to have a good time, and bosses people around all the time. Of course I know who you are." He laughed derisively.

Lily, although she concealed it well with a smirk, felt hurt. It wouldn't have bothered her if it was just a Slytherin boy being out of line, but some of it was probably true. In her anger she decided that the games were over. She straightened and shot a full body bind at this insolent Crouch boy, causing him to fall stiffly to the ground next to his mate.

"Come along." She said, motioning to the younger student. He stood, looking frightened. "What's your name?" She asked kindly as they stepped into the hall.

"Benjy Penwick. Thank you for rescuing me, I don't know what they would have done to me if you hadn't come." He said.

"I'm going to take you up to the front of the train. There's a doctor there who will take care of your scrapes. But now you'd best to tell me why you were fighting with three older students, what year are you in?" She asked.

"I'm in fourth year." He said, a hint of indignation in his voice. He did not look a day over second year, Lily told herself. Surely she had not looked that young in the fourth year. She sighed, shaking it off mentally. Perhaps he was just short. "And they were fighting with me, I wasn't fighting with them." He added.

"Surely they didn't come into your compartment and attack you for no reason? You must have said something, or fought back." Lily said. "It's all right, you're not in trouble. I just need to know what happened so I can report them."

"All right then." He said with a sigh. "They came into my compartment and told me to leave, as they wanted somewhere to sit. I told them no, I was here first. The older bloke, Dolahov, he didn't like that. He asked me my name. When I told him I was a Penwick he went all sneering and said my family was a muggle loving ignorant family, that we were poor and good for nothing. He told me that my mom was a whore, and that my dad was a fool. I hit him then, and hit friends laughed at me. I told him I knew about his family too, and that his dad killed innocent muggles just because they were muggles. Then his friend, the one you fought, Crouch, he said his father was high up in the ministry and that he would report me to him. He held me while Dolahov hit me." Penwick explained, sniffing loudly. He wiped his nose with his fist, grimacing and trying to ignore the tears that were about to come spilling onto his face.

"Don't you worry about it now, everything will be fine." Lily told him. She was surprised by the story. "What house are you in?" She asked the boy.

"Gryfindor." He sniffed. This made Lily even more surprised.

There was the usual tension between the two houses over winning the house cup and quiddich and such, but Gryfindors and Slytherins generally got along much better than the other houses. It was due in part to their similar personalities, everyone knew that. So why were Slytherins attacking Gryfindors? It didn't make any sense. Perhaps things had happened over the summer that Lily, wrapped up in her happiness at being at the Potters, had not known about. Could this be what Dumbledore had been referring to when he said things at Hogwarts were complicated? Surely not. She wished now that she had been reading the papers over the summer. the Potters did not get a paper delivered, as they did not care what was going on in other peoples lives. Perhaps that was a foolish way to think, but, as Anne said, what would happen would happen and reading about it wasn't going to change that.

Lily arrived with Benjy at the front of the train and inquired after the nurse. She had been correct in her assumption that there was one, and delivered Benjy to her care.

After delivering Benjy to the charge of the nurse, who promised that she would be able to make all traces of the scratches and bruises disappear, Lily returned to her compartment to ask Holly, Janette, and Caroline what had been happening in the world while she was out of touch.

"You'll never guess what just happened." Lily said, opening the door to the compartment. Caroline was not there, it was only Holly and Janette talking and sharing some chocolate frogs.

"What?" Asked Janette.

"I just broke up a fight. Well, I also got into a bit of one myself. Let me tell you." Lily them recounted to her audience what had just happened, telling them about the bit of conversation she had overheard all the way through Benjy's description of the fight.

"Well why were you surprised that it was between Gryfindor and Slytherin?" Asked Holly after Lily wondered allowed why the amiability between the houses had digressed into such outright hatred.

"What do you mean? Gryfindor and Slytherin have always got along great." Lily said, looking from Holly to Janette.

"Don't you read the papers Lily?" Janette asked her incredulously.

"No." Lily confessed.

"It's been all over the papers all summer. Muggles being attacked, mysterious deaths and disappearances, all sorts of things. People have a pretty good idea of who's behind it." Janette told her.

"Who?" Lily asked, intrigued.

"The pure blood wizarding families. there are a core few who run everything and who have made it clear in the past about how they feel about muggles and half bloods. Of course the papers won't say anything, as they're funded by these same families. And the ministry refuses to look into it, as they are infested with the pure blood families. And then there's the money of course. And there's not really any hard evidence that it's them. They go around wearing masks and cloaks and such, calling themselves Death Eaters." Janette explained. "It's awful really, there's so much hatred. Did you know that someone tried to pass a bill legalizing the hunting of muggles?" Janette exclaimed.

"They didn't!" Lily said, disbelief etched all over her face.

"And of course it's also well known which families are pure blood and against the persecuting of muggles and partial bloods. The Penwicks are one of those families. So are the Potters, Lily. I assume that's why the Slytherins attached this Penwick bloke." Janette continued darkly.

"And of course it's practically common knowledge that the conniving Slytherins are pretty much all old pure blood families. And the Gryfindors are always a mixture of pure bloods and partial bloods and more open minded families. The Ravenclaws don't really think about blood so much, and the Hufflepuffs think that thinking about blood is wrong, so they make a big deal appearing not to think about it, but end up spending so much time thinking about not thinking about it that they end up thinking about it as much as the Slytherins! Only in a good way of course." Holly said. Lily's head was spinning in circles. So the Death Eaters were out in the open. that must have bee what Dumbledore meant, mustn't it? He was probably doing some severe damage control.

"Well the knowledge can't be too common, because this is the first I've heard." Lily replied.

"Yes, well those of us on the inside know the real scoop." Holly said, smiling at Lily. "Only teasing Lily, you're as far on the inside as is possible to get. You probably don't know about any of it because you're from an entirely muggle family and know nothing of the family rivalries and innuendos. Caroline would really be a better source of information on this subject though, as she's the pureblood. Don't worry about not knowing though, Lily, it's part of your charm! You're so naive, so innocent, so pure." Holly said, Lily slapped her arm, not hard enough for it to hurt, but enough to let her know that Lily did not find her joke funny.

"Holly you have to keep me informed about everything like this, okay? Next time muggles are being killed and I don't hear about it, I hold you personally responsible." Lily told her severely.

"Hey, what about Janette?" Holly whined.

"Janette too then." Lily agreed.

"Fine, fine. Sorry, I didn't know it was so important to you." She said, rubbing her arm a little. "So anyway, who does everyone want to date this year?" Holly asked, her ears perking up.

"I was thinking of Fabian Prewett." Admitted Janette, blushing hotly.

"He's cute." Holly agreed. "Very exotic, don't you just love the way his name sounds? Fabian!" Holly said. Lily and Janette laughed.

"Keep your hands off, if you like the way he looks so much, go for Gideon, they are twins after all. But I don't like him because he has a fancy name, or because he's a pure blood, or because he's rich and handsome." Janette said, although her eyes did become slightly dreamy thinking about it. "No, I am not that shallow. I am interested in him because he's noble, kind, considerate of others, and really smart. By the way, speaking of smart, how did you all do on the OWLs?" She asked, coming sharply back to earth.

"Who agrees with me when I say that the OWL testing system is totally unfair?" Holly said.

"Why? How many did you get?" Lily asked curiously. She wanted to know because Holly was really bright, but she never applied her brains effectively. She always wasted time when she could have been studying flirting of talking.

"Er, four. How ridiculous is that?" Holly exclaimed.

"Yeah, I know what you mean. I got seven and my parents were like 'Well, honey, that's, er, really a good try…'" Lily and Holly laughed. Janette had the most supportive parents ever. They never liked to say anything mean, it must have been the worst they were willing to say by telling her it was a good try.

"How many did you get Lily?" Asked Holly, looking at her suspiciously. She was being awfully quiet throughout this discussion.

"Er, Igotalltwelve." Lily muttered quickly.

"How many?" Janette asked.

"Twelve, if you must know." Lily said, blushing and looking away.

"That's really good, Lily. You deserve it, you studied harder than anyone. I can't believe you pulled off one in defense against the dark arts. I didn't even get that and I took the class." Holly exclaimed.

"Well, I barely scraped it I'm sure. besides, think of all the time I spent studying for them." Lily said.

"Yes I know, with James." Holly said slyly.

"Yes, I noticed you two slipping off for some alone study time." Janette added.

"It's not like that." Lily assured them defensively.

"Oh? Well than what is it like?" Holly demanded.

"I don't know." Lily said. "We're just friends. He was doing me a favor helping me study."

"Well, anyway, back to our discussion, who do you think you'll date this year?" Holly asked her.

"I don't know. I'm tired of the drama of the dating scene. I just want a nice quiet year." Lily said evasively.

"Of course you do." Holly said sarcastically. "Come on Lily, are we your best friends or aren't we?"

"You are, you know you are." Lily told her, convincing not only them but also herself.

"So you can trust us with your secrets." Holly said. Now she had managed to trap Lily.

"There are no secrets, honestly. Why do you think I want to date anyone? Unlike you, I happen to know that my value and identity are not shaped by who I'm dating. My self worth is determined by myself, not anyone else. I don't need to be defined by the people around me." Lily said, knowing that it was good advice, but also knowing that it was total BS and that she herself didn't even follow it.

"Here she goes with the feminism again." Holly said, rolling her eyes at Janette.

"Feminism is a very important part of our society Holly! You should value it and take it more seriously than you do." And then Janette, a much bigger feminist than Lily would ever be, was off.

"Anyway, Holly. Who do you want to date this year?" Lily asked when Janette paused to draw breath.

"I don't know. Edgar Bones is cute. And you know who I realized is really cute?" Holly queried of her friends, who of course did not know who she found cute these days.

"Who?" They obediently chorused.

"Remus Lupin." Holly announced. "Lily, you and him had a thing last year didn't you?"

"I wouldn't really call it a thing so much as a-" Lily started to explain.

"You're still friends right? Do you think you could set me up?" She asked, interrupting Lily's defense of herself.

"I don't know, are you sure he's really your type Holly? Isn't he rather brainy for your taste?" Lily asked meekly.

"Are you saying I'm stupid?" Holly demanded.

"Of course not! I didn't say that!" Lily said immediately.

"Well than what's the problem? Can you or can't you set me up?" She asked.

"I'm not sure. I'll see." Lily promised that she would try. It had grown dark by now and they were all sitting in their seats quietly, not saying much of anything. "So just Remus, is Holly going to settle down at last?" Lily asked teasingly, trying to ease the tension that had perceptibly risen.

"Oh, I don't know." Holly said, waving her hand airily. "Are you sure you're not interested in James?" Holly asked, changing the subject rather abruptly in Lily's opinion.

"Perfectly sure." Lily said with confidence.

"But he's capable of having a healthy relationship with a girl, right?" Holly asked. Lily, not entirely sure what she was getting at, assured her that she was. "And you two, you're friends even though you broke up, right? He's still nice?" Holly asked.

"Yes, James is a total sweetie. He, unlike most guys, actually cares what you think and listens and stuff." Lily said. "He's not just interested in you for your body...Why do you ask, Holly?" Lily asked after a moment of pausing to think about James's many good qualities.

"Because, I want to date him too." Holly said matter of factly. "He's terribly cute, and as long as you're not interested, I might as well snap him up before someone else does, right? No sense in a looker like that going around dateless." Holly said cheerfully.

Lily nodded, but did not speak. She did not quite trust herself to. For some reason the idea of Holly and James troubled her unduly.

"I reckon we should change into our robes." Janette said after a while, looking out her window. "It looks like we're getting close to school." They all changed into their school robes and prepared to get off the train. All were excited for the new term to begin, and grew antsier as the loudspeaker came on, telling them to leave their baggage on the train as it did every year.

Lily noticed several changes in the castle, mainly in the faculty and students. The staff looked hassled and worn out, and school had not even started. The students, rather than calling out to friend and greeting each other after the long break, were walking to the carriages in a much more subdued fashion than Lily had ever remembered. She witnessed several small skirmishes on the way to the carriages alone.

She saw one kid intentionally tripped. She heard mutters and whispers from some students, saw people pointing at students who she knew to be from muggle families or muggle friendly families. Now that she was looking out for the problem, she noticed it as more pronounced than she would have guessed.

There was a lot of hostility and tension between the students. She noticed that there were groups of students traveling together, and tightly formed knots of students. It became clearer still when she arrived in the great hall. Whereas in the past students had always talked between tables, the Slytherins now hissed when Gryfindors passed, and likewise Gryfindors cat called and growled when Slytherin students passed. She also noticed a popping up of green pins and ribbons of the robes of Slytherin students. She wondered if this as a way of distinguishing themselves as above the rest of the school, and different from all the other houses.

It was also clear that the first year class this year was much smaller than it had been in past years. Perhaps students were growing cautious to send their students away to boarding school in these troubled times when they did not know how much longer there would even be a school. Or a family. The year that Lily had come to Hogwarts, so many kids had come to Hogwarts that they had needed to have two first year girl dorms and two first year boy dorms.

The sorting ceremony was much shorter than usual. Lily tucked into her food with a vengeance, eating as if she hadn't eaten in ages.

"Lily, was my mom's cooking not to your liking?" Asked James from the seat next to her as he eyed her loaded plate and the speed with which she was devouring the food.

"Of course not James! I loved your mom's cooking, I helped her with a lot of it!" Lily stopped when she realized that he was only teasing her. She smiled back at him an then turned back to her food.

"I have just a few start of term announcements to make." Dumbledore announced, standing at last after the plates had cleared and the students and faculty had finished eating.

"We have a change in staff this year. Our defense against the dark arts instructor, Professor Longbottom, has returned to the Ministry and has been replaced by Professor Tonks." Dumbledore announced. there was applause as Professor Tonks gave a smile and a wave. He looked to be in his thirties, with a cheerful face and a happy smile. He had brown hair and dark eyes. He looked nice.

Lily looked down the table to see Alice's reaction to this news, she appeared calm. Lily noticed tear marks on her cheeks, however, and her eyes were slightly red. She was sitting by herself, a little removed from the rest of the students. Lily was distracted from further observation by Sirius.

"This will be interesting." He said, although he did not sound too enthusiastic.

"Why? You know him?" Asked Lily, leaning around James to see Sirius.

"Know him? He's my cousin. He's great, one of my favorite cousins. he married my cousin Andromeda, Bellatrix and Narcissa's older sister." Sirius explained, looking dubious. Lily understood now. Narcissa was in Slytherin, as was Bellatrix. Bellatrix loved to torture Sirius, not that it did much as he was a year older and already known as popular, smart, confident, and a real ladies' man.

Narcissa was less tyrannical and evil than her sister, but it was well known how she felt about those of muggle heritage. It was also well known how she felt about Sirius- he didn't exist, and about Lucious Malfoy- he would be her future husband whether he liked it or not. Most people were betting that she would get him, and he would not be liking it. Lucious and Narcissa were both in the sixth year as well.

"So when he says interesting he means the Slytherins will torture him." James said.

"Yes, he's as hated among my family as me." Sirius said. "You see, he's a half blood. They never wanted Andromeda to marry him, but she couldn't be stopped." Sirius sighed. "I wonder how Andromeda feels about him living here?" Sirius said. He question was answered a moment later when Dumbledore continued his announcements.

"Professor Tonks's wife and daughter will also be moving to Hogwarts, here we have Mrs. Tonks and her daughter Nymphadora." Professor Dumbledore said. Sirius, who had been so focused on his cousin that he had not noticed his other cousins, was shocked.

"Yay Andromeda!" Called Sirius. "Way to go!" He called, waving to her. She waved back, smiling.

Her tiny daughter, Nymphadora, Sirius swore he would never forgive his cousins for subjecting her with the torture being named Nymphadora would merit, was pouting. She appeared to be about three or four years old, and was very upset about something. Sirius waved to her. She waved back morosely, still frowning.

"I'll introduce you later, Lily. Come after the feast. You'll love her!" Sirius assured her. "All of them! You're so lucky you got back into defense against the dark arts now, Lily. Ted is great." Sirius said.

"Ted?" Lily asked.

"Professor Tonks." Sirius corrected himself. "Man, this is going to be weird." After the feast Lily followed Sirius to the staff table where he introduced her to his cousins.

"Sirius, I hear you've joined us in the ranks of the non-Blacks." Mrs. Tonks said, smiling as cheekily as Sirius always did.

"I suppose she blasted my name from the tree, did she?" Sirius asked.

"I suppose you should have expected it, young man. But count your blessings. I was never even on it. According to her I never married your cousin." Professor Tonks said.

"If I were you, I would be counting that as a blessing. But at least you lot don't have to carry around the last name that goes with being a Black. Well, I suppose I'm not technically a Black anymore, am I? So what's my last name then?" Sirius speculated, obviously confused. "So you're going to be my teacher than?" Sirius said, addressing Professor Tonks.

"Yes I am." He confirmed.

"This is my friend James Potter, and my other friend Lily Evans." Sirius said. Lily and James shook hands with Mrs. Tonks and Professor Tonks. "If you're going to be my teacher, will you not write any letters to James's mom saying ho bad we are? She hates that, and she'd absolutely flip out." Sirius said, failing to mention who exactly should would flip out at, but leaving it to sound as if she would be flipping out at the teacher who was unlucky enough to write the note.

"As long as you behave I suppose I won't have to write any notes, will I?" Asked Professor Tonks. "I won't write notes either way though, I promise. If I did Andromeda just might flay me for getting her favorite cousin into trouble."

"Who says I'd be the one in trouble?" Sirius asked, looking pointed. Professor Tonks looked somewhat troubled, much to Lily's amusement.

"Nice to meet you." Lily said politely. "And nice to meet you, Nymphadora." Lily said, bending to her knees to greet the little girl. To her surprise. the girl stuck out her tongue and blew a wet raspberry in Lily's face.

"My name's not Nymphadora. It's Tonks." She announced.

"I see." Lily said solemnly. "And how old are you, Tonks?" She asked.

"This many." Tonks said, holding up three fingers to show Lily how old she was.

"Well aren't you a big girl! Pretty soon you'll be going to Hogwarts as well, would you like that?" Lily asked.

"Not if daddy's teaching." Tonks said, looking at her father suspiciously. The others all laughed at this pronouncement.

"Well thank you for that, little missy." Said Professor Tonks, bending and lifting her to his shoulders. She smiled and clapped her hands. "Just for that, I'm going to have to tickle you until you turn blue!" He said and started to tickle her. She laughed uproariously, kicking her little feet. She was very cute, and had a precious smile and laugh. Lily loved children. She wanted to work with children when she became a healer.

"I'm afraid we have to go get settled. Little Tonks here" she winked at Lily, "is up far later than she should be and I'm afraid it's time for bed." Said Mrs. Tonks. The three left.

"So, what do you think?" Asked Sirius as they walked in a different direction, up the stairs to the Gryfindor tower.

"I like them!" Proclaimed Lily. "And Tonks is absolutely darling." She gushed.

"Well, I'm looking forward to defense against the dark arts. As long as he doesn't tickle me until I turn blue every time I get in trouble." James said. They all laughed.

"I don't think you'll have to worry about any more notes, James." Sirius said seriously. "If Ted passes it around the staff room that your mom doesn't like it, everything should be fine. I predict a lot of fun in Hogsmede this year." Sirius declared.

"Well yes, but it's not like she could have stopped me anyway." James said. Lily looked at him suspiciously, but he did not add anything else.


	9. School Again

Authors Note: I hope this chapter is believable...not that anything is really very believable as they are in a magical world and all....but anyway I have new characters and some new intrigue...so give me your opinions at the end! Oh, ps, all of the new characters I introduced (most of them at least, I think I made up one or two names...) were in JK's books mentioned like once obscurely in case u were all wondering...

Chapter 9

School Again

The next morning at breakfast was when the first really nasty thing happened that proved to Lily, as if she needed any more proof, that the Slytherins officially hated the Gryfindors. They had received their schedules for the week and were talking about their classes when Bellatrix Black walked into the hall, surrounded by a gaggle of Slytherin boys and girls, listening with rat attention to her story.

"So then," she said, "my aunt comes in in a towering rage and actually blasted his name from the family tree!" She said. There was a sudden outbreak of laughter at this pronouncement. "Why, my dear Sirius, here you are now. And to think, we were just talking about you." Bellatrix said innocently blinking her heavily lidded eyes.

She had thick eye shadow on, Lily never wore that much, and eye liner as well. That was the only makeup she was wearing, however. Her eyes stood out large and defined against the rest of her face. She had long black hair, the same color as Sirius's. Lily, much as she hated to admit it, could definitely see the family resemblance.

"Oh yes, my dear cousin. How nice to see you too." Sirius said, smiling broadly to mirror her own.

"Oh, I'm sorry, but we are no longer cousins." There were muffled giggles and barks of laugher at this. "You didn't hear? Your mother eliminated you from the family! This summer in fact. Didn't you know? She has transferred all of the inheritance you would have gotten in her will to Narcissa, Regulus, and myself." Bellatrix continued, smiling smugly, obviously pleased with herself. "Didn't you know? Oh, I'm so sorry, I hate that you had to find out like this." She said, putting a hand to her mouth in mock sorrow. She then turned her back, laughing loudly.

"Nasty little witch. I cannot believe that she's Andromeda's sister, can you?" Sirius asked incredulously after she had gone. James and Lily both shook their heads solemnly. "Oh well, just as well I got out of that family when I could, too bad I missed out on that lovely inheritance though. I suppose Bellatrix grows richer with every Black eliminated from the family tree." Sirius said. He was, for some reason, smiling.

"We have potions this afternoon with Slytherin, do you suppose they'll be that bad?" Lily asked dubiously.

"Yes." Sirius and James both said emphatically.

"They were always bad, now they've just gotten worse and more obvious." Sirius said. "It's not that big a change. Now everyone knows how lucky they are not to be in that house is all." He shrugged, although James could tell something was troubling him. They had been best friends forever, James always knew when something was on Sirius's mind. It was almost as if they could read each other's thoughts.

Lily turned to Caroline, who was sitting on her other side, and involved her in a conversation about herbology.

This year Lily's course load was jam packed. Although sixth year was usually the year in which most students dropped many classes and only took those that they needed an NEWT in in order to pursue the career of their choice, Lily, had to take potions, herbology, defense against the dark arts, charms, and transfigurations for becoming a healer. James was also taking a lot of courses, and had to have top grades as he wanted to become an auror. He was taking potions, transfiguration, charms, and, naturally, defense.

Potions arrived in due time, as Lily knew it must. The class was a mix of seventh and sixth years, all of whom were studying for their NEWTs in the subject. She had hoped that there would be the usual jovial conversations between the two houses. You could generally spot at least a few tables in which Gryfindors were sitting with Slytherins, but not this year. There was a wide gap between the tables. There was almost an invisible line separating the two houses.

Lily did not see one friendly exchange between a Gryfindor and Slytherin. She did not even see an exchange. No one called across the room, asking how someone else's summer had been. No one asked if anyone had any spare ingredients, and no one smiled at anyone else from the other house.

Lily could almost smell the enmity between the two houses. The tension had mounted so high that she felt it would snap. Until this year she had never really paid much attention to the Slytherins. She had, of course, dated Severus, but that was long over. And even when they had been together, she rarely spent time with his friends. When they weren't alone together he was with her friends, but never the other way around.

This year it was hard to ignore them. The Slytherins were being particularly awful. Although there was the invisible boundary, it was crossed to do damage behind enemy lines, so to speak.

She saw McNare, a slimy and rather sinister looking boy who was average height and very wiry, pass a Gryffindor table on his way to the supply cupboard and knocked over the cauldron of Gideon and Fabian Prewett, who were always together and always partnered with each other for their potions. These two were some of the smartest in the school, even rivaling Sirius and James sometimes in looks, Quiddich, academics, popularity with girls, and the ability to read each other's thoughts. Lily did not know those boys very well, even though she had been in classes with them for ages. All she knew was that Fabian and Gideon were gorgeous, exotic, Italian, and had wonderful accents. She only knew this, and not because she herself was interested in them, but because in their second year Holly and Alice had wanted to date them, and if they both married one two they would be sisters. Lily had never really been very interested in them, although she had to admit she would not refuse if one of them asked her out. She knew that Fabian played Quiddich with James, and that Gideon was more bookish. They were in the seventh year, one year above Lily and her friends.

Lily looked on with irritation at this disruption of the class. She looked across the aisle and saw Edgar Bones, a sixth year in Sirius and James's dorm. Edgar Bones was cute as well. He rather reminded her of Peter in some ways. He did, however, look rather young and naive. But perhaps that was part of his charm. Lily did not know what Holly had seen in him that made her decide he was cute so suddenly, or even if she still thought he was, but she did know that many girls did find him attractive. Lily noticed that he was having a little trouble with his potion as well.

Vincent Grabbe and Gregory Goyle, two big and beefy boys who were rather dull, Lily had never actually heard either of them form a coherent sentence, were partnered together in front of Marlene McKinnon and Emmeline Vance, who were also both in the seventh year.

Marlene was nice enough, although she was not the most interesting of girls. She came from a pure blood family that was well known for being sympathetic to muggles, rather like the Potters.

Emmeline Vance was beautiful, but not in the classic sense. She was tall and slim and had a dark, exotic beauty not often found. She was very intimidating, part of the reason that Lily had not gotten to know her very well in her time at Hogwarts, and at first sight appeared to be somewhat of an ice queen. She and Marlene were the complements of each other, and had been very close friends from the first year on. She was very good with a wand, and came from a half muggle half magical family. Her mother, or so Lily had been told, had deserted her pureblood family for love of her father.

Lily watched as Gregory kicked the two girls' table with his foot behind him, causing their potion to slosh, wetting their ingredients. Lucious Malfoy, sitting with Severus in the table across the row from Gregory and Vincent, laughed. Lily knew at once why he had partnered Severus. Severus was stooped low over the table, finely cutting the thyme, while Lucious was idly making eyes at Bridget Quan, an Asian girl from Slytherin who had a slight accent.

She had come to Hogwarts from China, and never came on the express. She had to take a port key to get here. It had been a big deal when she was accepted, Dumbledore had had to pull many strings with the Ministry of Magic. She was clever, like most Slytherins, with the obvious exception of Gregory and Vincent, but was not very nice. She was attractive, but very snide and rude. She had the expression of one who looked down on everyone else. She was partnered with Narcissa Black, Sirius's cousin, much to both their dismays. They had never been very close.

Lily felt angry as Lucious laughed at Marlene and Emmeline's predicament, but was satisfied a moment later when several things happened.

Marlene was mopping up the spilt potion and telling Emmeline to ignore it, but Emmeline had a temper even worse than Lily's. She shot a clever little spell at Gregory and Vincent's potion, causing it to change colors. She had not actually altered the potion, but if someone were to look at it, it would appear to be very wrong. By the time they had added all sorts of things to change the color back, the spell would wear off, and then the potion actually would be wrong.

Emmeline, satisfied with her handiwork, helped Marlene to dry the desktop by using another clever trick, causing hot air to blow out of her wand tip. Lily laughed as a moment later Vincent and Gregory were scratching their heads, looking puzzled, and throwing things into their cauldron at random. Lily then turned her attention back to Lucious.

He was haughtily tossing his platinum blonde hair, still making eyes at Bridget, when his hair began to tangle into knots. He looked around in surprise, trying to find the source of the knotting. Lily looked too, and discovered James pointing his wand at Lucious, muttering an incantation under his breath and twirling his wand in little circles while Sirius laughed quietly.

Lily glared at him. Although she did find it amusing, she did not think that it was appropriate for potions class, nor did it solve the obvious problems between the houses. She glared at James, who, noticing her at last after a kick from Sirius, straitened and smiled cheekily. He gave her a little wave, putting his wand away and whistling a little.

Professor Inkbeat was having an obvious problem. She did not know who to punish. She was the head of Slytherin house, and Lily knew she was a pure blood witch. Lily also noticed that she had not given Lily her usual friendly greeting. She was prowling among the students, snarling at Gryffindors and encouraging Slytherins, very much the opposite of how she had been in past years.

Lily sighed in frustration, it was not right, all this fighting. And she did not like the teachers picking sides, although she knew they must. Lily and Holly received full marks for their potion, even though both were distracted by the antics of the rest of the class.

Professor Inkbeat did lecture Gregory and Vincent on their potion, telling them that they should pay more attention to what they are doing next time.

Lily retired to the common room that night thoroughly disgruntled. Everything was so different. She was used to Hogwarts as a nice safe friendly place, not a place where the houses openly hated each other. To be fair, Hufflepuff got along with everyone, and the Ravenclaws were divided, and neither of the two were quite so open about it as the Gryffindors and Slytherins, but it was not what Lily had been waiting for all those weeks in the summer.

She saw a notice on the board when she entered the common room, and smiled happily.

Volunteers Wanted!

If you are a good student,

Willing to help,

Have some free time on your hands,

We need YOU!

If you are interested in helping as a volunteer tutor three nights a week in the library, to help your fellow classmates with homework or test preparation, then please help! Also, students falling behind are welcome to come to Madame Pince and sign up for peer tutoring. Mondays, Thursdays, and Sundays at 8:00 PM in the main section of the library. See you there!

This was right up Lily's alley. She loved helping people, and she was a good student. She went up to her dorm.

Lily entered her dorm, and, thinking she was alone, plopped down on her bed with a sigh. Holly was in the common room, flirting her head off with Edgar, and Janette was off somewhere with Henry, the boy she had started dating the previous year. Lily did not even want to know what they were doing.

"What's wrong?" Asked a voice tentatively. It was Alice. Lily sat up quickly, looking dubious. She did not know what to think of Alice right now.

"Nothing really." Lily said, deciding that she could answer.

"Oh. Did you have a nice summer?" Alice asked hesitantly. For a moment Lily considered saying

'Yes, I spent it with the boy that used to date you, until he dumped your ass! So there!' But then she remembered herself. She was not that mean, and she and James had spent a totally platonic summer. Well, except for that last night, but the rest of it had only been as friends.

"It wasn't too bad." Lily said, she did not feel like going into the details of her father's kidnapping with Alice.

"Oh." Alice said.

"How was yours?" Asked Lily. She wondered what Holly would say to her and Alice having a conversation, and was glad that she was not there.

"It was nice. Frank came home with me for part of it. He met my parents." Alice said, she had obviously been dying to tell someone. Lily wondered where her now seventh year friends were.

"Oh?" Lily asked.

"Yes, they really liked him. At first they were totally scandalized about him being my teacher and all, but then they got to know him and realized that there was nothing I could have done. He's too perfect. And they agree that five years isn't that much, as long as we don't do anything until I'm much older. My dad threatened him with his shotgun." Alice said, giggling nervously. Lily laughed. Alice beamed and then continued on. "Do you know why he's not here Lily?" Alice asked feverishly, obviously very happy about something.

"Because he had to go back to the ministry, Dumbledore told us." Lily replied, a question behind her answer.

"No, that wasn't it." Alice said. "My mom absolutely refused to let us continue seeing each other if he was my teacher. She said it was immoral. And do you know what he did?" Alice asked. "He went straight to Dumbledore and quit." She said, not waiting for a response. "He said he loves me more than he would ever love a job, and that I was worth it. He said he would wait forever if he had to, but that he wanted to be with me forever." Alice said, pure bliss in her expression. Lily had to admit that, if this were true, it was a very nice thing for him to do. And very sweet.

"That was nice." Lily said, non commitally.

"Yes." Alice said, enraptured. "Lily, I love him. I absolutely love him. I would do anything for him. He's the sweetest, most adorable, considerate man I've ever known. I would marry him tomorrow if he asked." Alice said secretively.

"Oh?" Lily asked, surprised. She had often heard Alice say that she never wanted to get married, as that way she would be able to have as much fun as she wanted. This was after her plans to marry Fabian and be Holly's sister, of course.

"Yes. Lily you have no idea how much I've changed. I want to be better now. I want to be different. I'm going to be good, not such a little tramp. I promise. Frank makes me want to be better, to be good. It makes me want to be more like you, Lily. You were always such a good friend." Alice said, now crying.

Lily looked at her closer. She was not wearing any makeup, and her robes were not a size too small, as they normally were when she came back to school- and not because she couldn't afford new ones either. Lily noticed that she had cut her hair. It was still gorgeous, perhaps more so, but it was now only shoulder length, rather than the glamorously chic style she used to wear it in when she would let it hang elegantly to her waste. Lily looked skeptical. Alice made her seem so good.

"I was never that good of a friend, Alice." She denied modestly.

"Oh, but you were, Lily. You always stood up for me, and you were always there for me, even when I was such a stupid little whore." Alice said, her cheeks now soaked. "Lily, do you think you would be able to give me another chance?" Alice asked. "I miss you so much. The others too, but you more than all of them. I shouldn't care if they never forgave me, as long as you would be my friend again." Alice declared.

Perhaps this was why she was no longer hanging out with her seventh year friends. Perhaps also this was why she was not in the common room, flirting the way Holly was. They used to always, when they came back from summer break, take advantage of the easy conversation topics and scope out who they would date in the coming year. This was, of course, before they had their annual pow wow.

Authors Note: So tell me what you think will happen/what you want to happen with the Slytherins and the library! How do you like those new characters I threw out there for you? I decided things would get boring if I kept going on about the same ppl all the time...It was time to spice things up a bit. So give me your insight on Holly and whatever relationships she should have and whether or not she should forgive Alice...


	10. To Forgive, or Not to Forgive?

**Authors Note: Okay, so anyway, here's the chapter. And for those of you who gave reviews of the last chapter, I hope you aren'tall disappointed. R&R, I hope you like! ;)**

Chapter 10

To Forgive, Or Not To Forgive?

That is the Question

"Oh yes Alice, I've missed you too!" Lily declared, running to her friend and throwing her arms around her friend and gripping her in a hug. She did not know why she had said it, but it was true. She had missed Alice.

Lily then proceeded to tell her all about her father and her James predicament. She knew that she could trust Alice. For some reason she knew that she was telling the truth when she said she had changed, and Alice had always been trustworthy. Alice was all sympathy about her father, and swore that she would not tell anyone, not even Holly, Caroline, or Janette. Alice told her that she could not advise her on the James front, only Lily knew what she wanted. Lily liked that answer, as it proved to her that Alice truly was different. The old Alice would have told her to go for James and if she got tired of him, so what? What had she really lost? But this Alice was kinder, and more thoughtful.

Lily was glad to have her back. Lily decided to skip their annual pow wow that night. She did not want to talk about James, or her dad, or anyone. And she was not interested in Caroline's stories about Ben, or Janette and Holly complaining about their boring summers. Well, Holly no doubt would have something to say about the many boys she had undoubtedly kissed that summer.

Instead, Lily went to bed early. She had not done any of her homework, because she did not have any of those classes the next day. She did not want to spend another day dealing with the feud between Gryfindor and Slytherin. She did not want to break up another fight, see another bloody nose, or watch someone else tripped 'accidentally' in the halls.

She was, however, looking forward to Thursday when she would go to the library to volunteer with Madame Pince.

The next day passed quickly. She had to break up only one fight in the hall, this one between Bellatrix Black, a fifth year, and Amelia Bones, Edgar's younger sister who was a fifth year. Bellatrix and Rudolphus Lestrange, who had a crush on Bellatrix and had for years- that was common knowledge to everyone within Hogwarts- had been attacking Amelia. Bellatrix had assaulted the poor girl, knocking her books to the floor and stepping on her loose parchment, cackling her evil laugh.

When Amelia had withdrawn her wand from her robes to fight back, she was a Gryfindor and not about to take that from anyone, Rudolphus had come at her from behind, hitting her with a bat boggy hex. Amelia skillfully dodged it, causing Bellatrix to be hit with the curse. Amelia then had spun to face Rudolphus, only to find him on her other side, supplying Bellatrix with the counter jinx. He had then attempted to put her in a leg locker, but she had quickly said the protective spell, shielding herself.

Lily, fortunately, had been on her way to transfiguration when this had been going on and had managed to put a stop to it, giving out detentions to all three and deducting ten points from Slytherin, five for each, and five from Gryfindor, much to her own displeasure.

Amelia had frowned, but as soon as Bellatrix and Rudolphus had skulked off, Lily awarded her ten points for having fought so bravely, even when outnumbered. She accompanied the points with a wink, something she had picked up from the Potters, and a promise that the detention would not be with Filtch, Inkbeat, or any of the Slytherins. Amelia smiled, and waved goodbye, scurrying to get to class.

Lily had to admit it, she was choosing sides. But how could she not? She was a Gryfindor, all her friends were Gryfindors, and she was a muggle born, meaning that the reason the Slytherins hated her. She had no choice but to side with her house and her friends.

Later on, after transfiguration, Lily was walking back with James to lunch. They had most of their classes together, except herbology, which James did not need to take. Lily lectured him about his behavior in potions the day before, reprimanding him or fueling the hatred between the houses.

"James, you can't just bully people like that. It's awful. I don't care how much he deserved it!" She said, holding up her hands to stem his protests. "Don't let me catch you at it again, James Potter." Lily warned him.

"Back to using my last name then?" He asked, sounding cynical.

"Only if you misbehave." Lily said, grinning foolishly. Just then Holly came and sat down on James's other side.

"Hi James!" She said happily. "When do you think you'll start training for Quiddich?" She asked cheerfully. He smiled at her, but Lily thought she saw reluctance in his smile. Maybe it was just wishful thinking on her part, though.

'Wishful thinking?' She demanded of herself_. 'Why on earth would you be wishing for James not to be happy to see Holly? That's ridiculous. Holly is your friend, James is your friend, you should want for them to like each other! What is wrong with you Lily?_'

She demanded of herself' ****

'Maybe you just don't want to think that he's like every other boy in Hogwarts.' Lily's mind said. **_'Maybe you want to believe that he's different, and special. That he's not so shallow as to fall for Holly and her not-so-subtle flirting._**' It was possible, Lily admitted to herself, although she hated thinking it of her own friend.

Lily's mind said. ' It was possible, Lily admitted to herself, although she hated thinking it of her own friend. 

So much for being loyal, she thought. _Looks like Alice was wrong, I'm not that good of a friend, to be thinking things like that about Holly. _

she thought. 

What would she say if she knew I thought she was only a pretty face? Lily asked herself. Chances were Holly would not be too pleased, Lily answered herself, remembering Holly's reaction on the train when she had thought Lily was hinting she wasn't smart enough for Remus.

"Lily?" James repeated for the third time, looking at her quizzically.

"Mmm? What?" She asked absently.

"I was wondering if you wanted to work on that essay with me." James asked.

"Sure, but if your idea of working together is the same as it was this summer, you can forget it." She said smiling. He had asked her if she would 'help' him with potions. Lily

had agreed, but later found that to him helping meant she gave him the answers.

"Of course not!" James said, pretending that she had mortally offended him. Holly was looking a little put out, she was in their transfiguration class, and yet James had not invited her to their study party. Holly gave Lily a pointed look, but Lily pretended not to notice it. If she had been a good friend, like Alice had said, she would have invited Holly to come along. She knew Holly wanted to date James, but she was obviously not a very good friend, as she had not desire to invite Holly to join them in writing the essay.

"I assure you that I will do my part. Want to do it tonight?" He asked.

"Sure. Have you done the potions assignment yet?" Lily asked.

"No way, what do you take me for? A do-Gooder?" James asked.

"I would never dare to think it." Lily promised. "I don't like to be disappointed." She added.

"And what, may I ask, is that supposed to mean?" James asked her.

"That you're too bad to ever be good." Lily told him, laughing. He did not reply, nor did he smile as she had intended.

"Anyway, do you understand the Potions?" He asked her, fishing for something to say to change to subject.

"Yes, why, do you not?" She asked.

"Not really." He admitted.

Lily was surprised that James was admitting to being anything other than perfect.

"We can do it together if you want. Tonight?" She asked.

"That would be great. Thanks Moonshine. I have to go practice for Quiddich. Well, I don't really need to practice, I'm so good without it, as I'm sure you remember from this summer." He said, smirking a little.

"Oh yes, har har di har har." She said sarcastically.

"But the rest of the team needs the practice, so I'd better go show them how it's done." He

said, walking away from the table. "See you tonight Lily! Holly." He said, not looking at her.

Holly looked rather put out as he left.

"Lily!" She whined.

"What?" Asked Lily, defensively.

"You didn't invite me to do the transfiguration with you! You know I want to date him, and you promised that you didn't! Why can't you help me?" Holly asked, obviously irritated.

"Oh, so you're saying you need my help getting James to give you the time of day? What does that say about a relationship between you two? If he doesn't like you without my telling him to, how long do you think it'll last?" Lily asked.

"You know what, just forget it. I'm not asking you to force him to do anything."

"Except hang out with you." Lily added.

"I'm going to go fine Edgar. Maybe when James sees me with someone else he'll realize that he wants me after all." Holly said, brightening.

"I thought you were going for Remus, anyway." Lily said, a little loudly because Holly had already stood up and started walking away. Remus, sitting only a few feet away, looked up with surprise.

"Shut up Lily! You are so stupid! You can't do anything!" Holly said, annoyed, seeing that Remus was watching. Lily could have slapped herself, she had now ruined Holly's chances with Remus. Well, maybe not. Not if he liked her back. But somehow she doubted it, Remus was not that shallow either.

"Hey. that was mean of her to say." Alice said, sitting down next to Lily.

"Oh, that's just Holly being Holly, you know that. I take everything she says with a pinch of salt, otherwise I would have had a mental breakdown long before now." Lily said airily. "Anyway, what's up?" Lily asked.

"Not much. Some Slyterin, I think his name is Dolohav, tried to trip me up when I was coming from herbology, but I just gave him an impediment curse. He should be coming out of it now. No doubt he'll be after me now. Oh well." Alice remarked with a sigh.

"Have you had Defense Against the Dark Arts yet?" Asked Fabian Prewett, sitting down cross the table. Lily was surprised that he was talking to her, she had not really talked to him very much, but then she remembered how Alice had been hanging out with other people, Fabian being one of them, for a lot of last year.

"No, why, have you?" Lily asked. "I have it next, how is it?"

"I hear its incredible. That's what Amelia told Edgar, anyway. He told me she loved it." Fabian told them.

"Really? He seemed nice when I met him last night. That's Sirius's cousin, you know." Lily told him.

"Oh, lucky guy. Sirius that is. This guy's apparently awesome!" Fabian said enthusiastically. "And, even better, he feels that working hard in class is more important than doing homework, so as long as we work hard and do our best in class, he goes light on homework. How awesome is that? I hope she was telling the truth." Fabian told her excitedly.

"I can't wait!" Lily said, cheerfully. She was getting a lot of homework, and was glad to hear about a break.

She did not have long to wait, as she had defense against the dark arts next. As soon as the bell rang she hurried off to the defense room and entered.

Apparently she was not the only one who had heard good things about this class, as the first and second rows were already filled with eager and expectant Gryfindor faces. Lily was forced to sit nearer to the back than she normally did. James and Sirius entered just before Professor Tonks, just scraping in on time. James sat next to Lily with a little smile, and Sirius sat on his other side.

"Why were you late?" Lily asked suspiciously.

"Quiddich practice." James said quickly.

"Oh? Was the whole team there?" Lily asked, thinking quickly.

"Yes, of course. Why?" Asked James.

"Because Fabian was with me at lunch, so stop lying to me. You didn't have quiddich practice, that's a lie. Where were you two?" Lily asked. She saw James and Sirius shifting in their seats. Neither responded, but they were spared further reprimanding by the lesson starting.

"My name is Professor Tonks, but if that's too long to say, you can just call me Tonks. And just a warning, if you meet my little daughter, don't call her Nymphadora, call her Tonks too." Lily laughed at that, as did a few others including James and Sirius. Professor Tonks smiled at them.

"This year we will be using your Guide to Defensive Spells that you all should have bought this summer. Does everyone have it?" He asked, looking around. Everyone had a copy on their desk.

"Yes." Came the reply from a few students, the rest of the class continued to stare expectantly.

"So, anyway, we will be covering dueling, self defense, and we will go over the most commonly used curses and their counter curses. Does everyone have a wand?" He asked.

"Yes." Came the response again.

"All right then." Said Tonks looking around. "Everyone partner up." He said. People started standing up and looking around for partners, but before anyone could speak Holly came rushing toward James from her seat in the second row.

"James, will you be my partner? Please?" Holly asked, giving him her puppy dog expression that worked so well on most other guys. James looked helpless, as he had not already asked anyone else to partner with him he had no escape.

"Sure Holly." James said reluctantly. At least Lily thought it was reluctantly. He definitely wasn't jumping up and down for joy that Holly had asked him.

Lily looked around, Edgar Bones was looking irritated, scowling a little. He had obviously expected Holly to ask him to be her partner.

"Lily?" Asked Sirius as soon as Holly had dragged James away. Lily did not miss her triumphant smile that she gave to Lily on her way past. "As both our best friends have been dragged away and we both appear partnerless, would you care to be my partner?" He asked, extending his hand.

"Why yes Sirius, of course I would. But I can't believe that the only reason you want to be my partner is that James has been taken." Lily said, laughingly accepting.

"Well I would never leave a pretty girl like you all alone." Sirius said, laughing as well.

"How chivalrous, I'm sure." Lily said.

Professor Tonks had cleared the desks to the side of the room, clearing the way for people to practice.

"Today we will be practicing the shield spell. This can be used defensively against anything if activated early enough. Do you all know the shield spell?" He asked. Some people nodded while others shook their heads. "I see. Well your partners will be using very basic spells on you, which you will be deflecting with the shield spell. The word you say is 'Protego' and then you wave your wand in an arc in front of you. Everyone practice right now, not the words, just the motion." Professor Tonks demonstrated, and then directed them to do the same. Lily, who already knew the shield spell, practiced the movement. "Lily, that's good, but if you did it a little wider it would be more effective." Professor Tonks directed, showing her again. She practiced the movement and Professor Tonks smiled.

"Ready Lily?" Asked Sirius.

"I'm always ready." lily said, settling into a firm stance, waiting for him to hex her. "Why aren't you going?' Lily asked.

"I think James might kill me if I hex you." Sirius said, grinning.

"Who says the hex would get close enough to do any damage?" Lily challenged.

"I don't know, Lily, I hate to hex a girl." Sirius said. Lily leaned back, glaring at him. Just as she had let her guard down he shot a tickling charm at her. 'Protego!' Lily said, but she was too late. Before she had time to do the arc movement the charm had hit her and she was on the ground laughing and writhing with giggles.

"Sirius!" She gasped. "Make- it- stop!!" Lily yelled. Sirius was clutching his own stomach, laughing at her as she struggled to keep her composure and dignity, as much as is possible when on the floor laughing.

"Sirius!" James yelled from across the room, turning away from Holly. He shot the counter curse at Lily, causing her giggles to stop. As his back was turned, however, Holly, jealous of the attention he was showering on Lily, shot a leg locker curse at him.

"You tricked me!" Lily yelled at Sirius, although she was laughing about it. She had become much more good natured about that sort of thing lately. It must be from having spent so much time with these two. Lily thought with a sigh. "Just for that!" She pointed her wand at him. She saw an expression of fear in his eyes as he watched her. She laughed, and then shot a jelly leg jinx at him. He could not stand up properly anymore, he was falling to the ground and clutching at the wall to remain upright. "Thanks James!" Lily called over her shoulder.

She then saw James on the floor, struggling to free himself from Holly's leg locker. Lily, quick to return the favor he had done her, freed him.

"Nice one, Lily." James said. He turned just in time, as Holly was preparing to hit him with something else, and put up his shield, deflecting her curse. It bounced off his thick protective shield and hit her. It had apparently been a rather nasty one, as Holly was turning green.

"Very good!" Called Professor Tonks, walking over to James and patting him on the back. "Took you long enough, but nicely done in the end. Ten points to Gryfindor." James beamed. "Now for you." Professor Tonks said, addressing Holly. He looked at her for a moment and then shot a ray of green light at her. She returned to normal color, well maybe a little redder with anger and humiliation than was entirely natural, but reasonably normal looking.

Lily turned away from a still struggling Sirius, preferring to watch him suffer than to help him, and surveyed the damage. People had not used their shields very effectively, she decided. She saw several people on the floor, or rubbing their heads. Caroline had a bloody nose from a spell Janette had hit her with, and Gideon had a bruise on his arm that he was touching tentatively.

"I see that not all of you have entirely mastered the art of the shield spell. Perhaps more guidelines then?" Suggested Professor Tonks mildly. "Everyone line up across from their partner." He ordered them. They did so, Lily after first having released Sirius from his jelly legs. "Now, everyone in this line will be shooting an expeliarmus spell at everyone in that line. People on this line will deflect them. When I say go. One, two, three, go!" Professor Tonks said.

Sirius was in the shooting line, and on three he shot the expeliarmus spell at Lily. Lily deflected it with ease, but saw than not everyone had had such an easy time of it. Holly, who was next to Lily, was having trouble. She had lost her wand and was now trying to recover it, but in order to do so she had to crawl past the other struggling pairs, with beams of light flying over her head. She finally recovered it and made her way back to her place across from James, who, in her absence, had engaged Lily and Sirius in a conversation.

"Expeliarmus!" Holly said, pointing her newly recovered wand at James, who, hearing her, deflected it easily. Her wand then flew back across the room, where she had to go find it again. Grumbling and huffing, Holly left again. James grinned.

"James, you never told me what you were doing when you said you were at quiddich practice." Lily reminded him.

"Oh, yes. I didn't get a chance, as the professor started talking." James said, shifting from one floor to another.

Lily was about to argue when Holly returned, still angry. She shot and expeliarmus spell at James again, and Lily was sure he had seen, as he was looking right at her. He did not even move to defend himself, but instead allowed his wand to fly across the room.

Holly smiled triumphantly. Lily wondered whether he had done that to avoid her questions about he whereabouts, or if he had been trying to make Holly feel good. Somehow she found it hard to believe that it was the latter.

The bell rang some time later, and Lily still had not had a chance to ask James where he had been during lunch. Professor Tonks had asked them only to read up on the shield spell, a page in their textbooks. The entire class had cheered at this.

"James, wait up!" Called Lily irritably as she hurried after him. He stopped in his tracks when he heard her calling.

"Yes Moonshine, how can I be of service to you?" He asked cheerfully, turning to face her.

"You can tell me exactly where you were when you were supposed to be at lunch. Why did you leave so suddenly? You said quiddich, but I know that was a lie, so tell me." Lily demanded, stamping her foot for emphasis, just to let him know that she meant business.

"You're not going to like it." James said.

"Well then tell me quickly and explain it before I get a chance to be too mad." Lily said.

"Hogsmede, but only because I needed to stock up on dung bombs with Sirius." James said quickly.

"James Potter you do not have permission to be in Hogsmede. Ever. Do you not remember what your mother said? She told you that you did not have parental permission to be there." Lily reprimanded, crossing her arms and glaring.

"Come on Lily, let's talk about this somewhere else. People are staring." James said. Lily looked around, relenting.

There were people looking at the two, whispering behind their hands and giving her looks that she did not quite know the meaning of. Some boys were sniggering, while some of the other girls were glaring. Sirius had trotted off somewhere.

"Fine, as long as you promise you will discuss it with me, and not pretend that you can't do defense so that you have an excuse to leave." Lily said irately.

"So you noticed that too then?" James asked, laughing.

"Yes, Potter, I did." Lily told him witheringly.

"Oh, come off it Lil. I'm sorry okay? I'm late for class, I have to go, but we'll talk about this later, all right?" James said, looking over his shoulder in the direction of his classroom.

Noticing that they were late, ad were now almost alone in the corridor, Lily hurried outside to herbology, hoping that Professor Struit would not be too angry with her. Herbology was with the Slytherins, but fortunately not very many people were taking herbology.

The Slytherins in this class were not overly awful, although Severus was in this class. It appeared that when he wasn't with the other large, popular, loud and obnoxious Slytherin boys, he was his old quiet and subdued self. Lily even shared a trowel with him once.

Edgar Bones was in her class too, he was trying to become a healer at St. Mungoes. Alice was in her class, she claimed that herbology was always useful for potions, even though she was training to be an auror.

Lily and Alice and Edgar shared a table and talked a good deal. Edgar was very nice, and Lily re-bonded with Alice some more. Lily discovered for the first time that Alice was capable of having a conversation with a boy that had no flirting whatsoever.

They talked about their summers, although Lily did not mention James or her father, and Alice did not mention Frank. Edgar talked about his parents and how his dad had been having a hard time at the ministry because of the Malfoys and their cronies. Edgar was totally against the Death Eaters and Voldemort, and assured both Lily and Alice that he would not let any Slytherins talk badly about them just because they were from muggle families.

He told them he wanted to be a healer to do his part for the good side, to cure both muggle borns and pure bloods, he said that blood didn't matter, it was your personality and magical capabilities that were important, not your blood.

That evening Lily made sure that James kept his promise. When she approached him in the common room he stood up from the couch and walked away from his group of friends. They had all been laughing at something he had just said, but his face was somber now.

"Look, Lily, I'm sorry I went into Hogsmede, okay?" James said.

"How did you get in, anyway?" She asked. James didn't answer her. He looked down at the floor. "James! Tell me." Lily demanded, looking at him imploringly.

"I can't, Lily. It's a secret. I can't just betray my friends like that." James said, still not meeting her eyes.

"You don't trust me? You don't consider me one of your friends?" Lily asked.

"Of course I trust you Lily. And you're one of my best friends. But how trustworthy would I prove to be if I gave away other people's secrets like that?" James asked her, looking up at last.

"Fine, James, whatever. You continue sneaking off into Hogsmede, whatever. I really don't care." Lily said, offended.

"Lily, come on. It's not like that." James stretched out a hand to pull her back, so that he could explain.

"Get your hands off me, Potter." Lily snapped angrily. He let go so quickly that it was as if she had scorched him.

"Fine, Evans." James said, turning back toward the couch and sitting again. Lily watched as his friends laughed around him, but did not fail to notice that he was not smiling.

**Authors note: What does everyone think of Professor Tonks? Does anyone have any ideas for future lessons? Or pranks that Sirius and james can pull too...those would be helpful ideas. And I need an answer to the title...To Forgive, or Not to Forgive? 3 ;) **


	11. The Library

**Authors Note: Okay, new characters alert! Yay! Anyway, I hope you all enjoy! Oh, ps, welcome to the story oh winner of last book's contest!! See if anyone canspot or be spotted, eh? I assure you, it won't be hard if you know her. Even people who didn't know she won will recognize her..**

Chapter 11

The Library

On Thursday at 8:00 PM Lily made her way to the main section of the library. When she arrived the only other people there were Madame Pince, Gideon Prewett, and a girl who she knew was in her year, but did not know her name or house. Madame Pince looked glad to see her.

"Welcome, Lily. You're right on time. We'll just wait for more people to turn up, shall we?" She asked, anxiously. Madame Pince had not been the librarian for long, and was always rather nervous. She looked around eagerly, hoping that more students would appear.

"Hi, I'm Lily Evans." Lily said, sitting down next to Gideon and smiling at the strange girl.

"My name's Hazel Brooks, nice to meet you." The girl said, stretching out her hand. Lily took it, shaking it firmly. They smiled at each other.

"What house are you in?" Lily asked.

"Ravenclaw." The girl said.

"Oh, I'm in Gryfindor." Lily said.

"I know." Hazel said. She had straight brown hair and large, chocolate brown eyes. She had long, whispy bangs that shielded her eyes when she tilted her head, which she was doing now. She was very pretty, with delicate features. She was sitting now, but Lily felt as if she would be short if she were to stand. She had thin wrists, all of her was very slim. She was very petite, and obviously shy.

Lily looked up as she heard footsteps approaching. It was Remus. Lily was surprised to see him at first, but when she thought of it, it was only natural that he would be here. He sat across from Lily, next to Hazel, and smiled at her. Introductions were made, and just as they were finished another girl walked in. She was pretty too, but Lily again did not recognize her. She was short, with brown eyes that looked as if they would be hazel in a different light. She was not as petite and Hazel, and was bustier than even Holly.

"Hi, I'm Amy Connell." She said, extending her hand and smiling brightly, revealing a friendly, white smile. "I'm here for the tutoring thing? There was a notice on my board."

"You've come to the right place." Remus said, scooting his chair over to make room for her. "Remus Lupin." He said, holding his hand out.

"Nice to meet you." She said, taking his hand in her own and sitting.

"And I'm Lily Evans." Lily said, stretching out her hand.

"Gideon Prewett." Gideon said, taking her hand in turn.

"Hazel Brooks." Said Hazel in a rather meek voice.

"I'm in Hufflepuff, what houses are all of you in?" Asked Amy cheerfully.

"We're three in Gryfindor, and Hazel is in Ravenclaw. What year are you in?" Asked Lily.

"Sixth. Isn't it horrid? All this talk of N.E.W.Ts when we've only just gotten out of O.W.Ls?" Amy asked, looking around the table for commiseration.

"Yeah. What are you studying to be?" Asked Remus.

"I'm not sure. I want to go to America and be in films. I'm going to be a star one day." Amy declared, and for some reason, Lily believed her.

"What classes are you taking? I don't think I've ever seen you before." Lily said.

"Oh, I'm taking divination, muggle studies- I figure if I'm going to be living with them I might as well know something about them, right?- and charms- always useful- and defense against the dark arts- what with everything happening lately, I hope I don't need it but I suppose it can't hurt, right?- and then astronomy." Amy told them. Her commentary was interrupted by the arrival of another student.

Sirius Black was there, much to Lily's surprise. He looked around the table, and seeing Remus and Lily there tried to leave before he was seen.

"Oy, Padfoot, where are you going? I've never seen you in a library before, got lost, did you?" Remus asked.

"I was here to get help on my potions." He muttered almost inaudibly.

"You were?" Asked Lily, shocked.

"Yes, and don't any of you dare say a word!" He warned them.

"Well, let's get you paired up with a peer tutor then, shall we?" Asked Madame Pince happily, pleased to have a taker. "Would you like to go with Remus Lupin? You two seem to know-"

"No!" Sirius said quickly. "I'm not going with anyone in my house." He said.

"Well that leaves Hazel Brooks and Amy Connell, but Amy doesn't take potions, so Hazel? Do you want to help Sirius?" Madame Pince asked. Hazel peered up through her fringe, looking a little skeptical.

"Sure." She said slowly.

"All right, perfect! You two can go over there where it's quiet. if you need any books, just let me know!" She said cheerfully.

Hazel and Sirius went off to a corner to start studying his potion. Lily and Remus traded a look, and they both had to look away quickly so as not to burst out laughing.

"Well, I'll take a list of your names. You can wait a few more minutes and if no one else shows up you can go. I'll see you all on Sunday!" Madame Pince said, obviously cheered that people had showed up at all. Lily wrote her name on a piece of parchment and passed it to Gideon. When they had all written their names, and still there were no signs of anyone else showing up, Lily, Gideon, and Remus said goodbye to Amy and made their way back to Gryfindor common room.

Hazel and Sirius

Sirius POV

He entered the library and knew that this had been a mistake right away. He had been in the common room working on his potions homework and had been struggling. He had to have top marks to become an auror, and although he wasn't even sure if that was what he wanted to do, he would need top marks anyway. Better safe than sorry.

But as he had entered the library he had seen Lily and Remus, as well as Gideon Prewett. Of course they would be there, why hadn't he realized that? Remus and Lily were both goodie goodies, and Gideon was really bookish. Of course they would be there. There were also two other pretty girls who he didn't recognize. One especially caught his eye. She had brown hair and eyes that were mostly concealed by her fringe. She was petite, and from the little he could see of her face, absolutely beautiful.

Sirius felt his heart slow down when he saw her. Then he remembered what he was here for. This would be humiliating! If the first time he met this girl was when he was asking for tutoring, he would never have a shot with her.

Sirius turned to leave, but it was too late. He had been spotted. Remus called him back. Sirius made a mental note to pound him later.

Madame Pince had paired him with the beautiful girl, and they were now heading off to a corner to study. Sirius did not know what he would do now. If only he could have been with someone else, but he refused to accept help from Gideon Prewett, or Remus or Lily. That would be too humiliating for words. Too bad the other girl Didn't take potions. Sirius sighed, turning to the girl.

"I'm Sirius Black." He said. Madame Pince had said her name, but he could not now remember it.

"I know who you are. I'm not totally stupid. But don't think that just because your name is Sirius Black means you're getting any special treatment." She said quietly, sitting down at a circular table. Sirius sat across from her, bringing his books and parchment and quill and ink out of his bag.

"Well, what's your name?" He asked, surprised by her response.

"Hazel Brooks." She answered shortly.

"Funny, I always thought brooks were blue." Sirius said. "What house are you in?" He asked when she didn't laugh, or even look up, praying that she wasn't in Slytherin. If she was he just might go jump in the lake and hand himself over to the giant squid.

"Ravenclaw." She replied, looking at him from under her fringe. She had large, round, chocolate brown eyes. She was peering curiously at him from under long eye lashes.

"And what year are you in?" He asked.

"Sixth, now did you say you needed help or a new friend?" She asked. Sirius laughed, the girl was funny.

"Help." He admitted at last.

"Well at least you're admitting to having a problem." She said, a smile tugging the corners of her small rosy mouth.

"What exactly are you implying?" Sirius asked, curious to understand the workings of her mind.

"Nothing. What subject did you say?" She asked.

"Potions." He answered.

"Well, your in luck. What have you got there?" She asked, pulling his half started essay toward her.

"It's not very much." He said apologetically.

"Or very good." She added bluntly. "Or very correct." She added, her eyes scanning what he had written for a second time. "I'm assuming that you're writing about the uses of thyme and its medicinal properties?" She asked.

"Yes." He said.

"And I'm also assuming you were sick that day?" She asked again.

"No, I was there." He said, embarrassed. No one had ever been this blunt with him before. Well, his mother, but that was it.

"So You're just stupid?" She asked, apparently very serious.

"I don't like to think so, no." He said, smiling. He liked this girl a lot. Most girls would never speak this way to him, but she said just exactly what she thought and didn't seem to care what he would think of her.

"So you just don't pay attention...ever?" She asked.

"Yup." He said cheekily.

"Not a very admirable quality." She informed him, looking back to the essay. His heart sank. "Okay first of all, did you even bother to look for thyme in your book?" She asked him sharply.

"Not really. I didn't exactly think of that." He said.

"Okay, well start by looking it up. I'm waiting." She added. He opened the book and started turning pages, looking for thyme. "Are you kidding?" She asked, after watching him flip pages aimlessly for several minutes.

"What?" He asked, looking up from the book. He was looking after all, wasn't he?

"Haven't you ever heard of an Index?" She demanded. "A table of contents?" She asked in response to his blank look. She looked as if she were about to cry. "Go to the back of the book. You do know the alphabet, don't you?" She asked.

"Of course." Sirius said. "I can sing it for you forwards and backwards if you like."

"So there was at least one point in your life during which you paid attention, even if it was when you were four." She remarked as he flipped to the back of the book. Sirius gave his bark like laugh again.

"Ah, so this is an index is it?" He asked, looking in wonderment at the words and page numbers going down the page.

"Yes, now apply your excellent knowledge of the alphabet and locate thyme. It should say the page number that the passages on it are written on." She told him. He ran his finger down the list.

"Okay, page 214, wow, this thing is useful. I'm learning already. They should have invented this system a long time ago." He said.

"They did. There are lots of indexes out there." Hazel said.

"No, I meant the peer tutoring thing." Sirius said, looking up at her. She blushed under his gaze. He went to page 214 and read aloud.

"Now start writing." She instructed. "You know the medicinal properties, now say what they are." She said. Sirius began to write, when he had finished she passed it to her. She read it, critically pointing out all his mistakes in spelling and punctuation.

"This is all right. Maybe an acceptable. Now add a conclusion, summarizing it. You do know what conclusion means, right?" She demanded.

"Of course, I'm not stupid either, you know." He said indignantly.

"Gee, when I came here I never thought I would be learning too!" She said. Sirius paused, staring at her. Then he burst out laughing heartily. She laughed too. She had a nice laugh, tinkley like fairy bells. Sirius smiled at the sound of it.

"Wow, it's really late." Said Hazel after the laughter had subsided. "I'd better be getting back…unless you have any other homework you need help with?" She asked, almost hopefully Sirius thought.

"No, will you be here on Sunday?" Sirius asked.

"I suppose I will." She said, tilting her head sideways she he couldn't see her eyes.

"Then I will be too. I predict that there will be a very hard potions assignment that night." Sirius told her happily, getting up from the table and throwing his books and parchment and quills happily into his bag. She smiled at her and left, throwing a careless wave over his shoulder on his way out.

He thought about her the whole way back to Gryfindor common room. When he got there he plopped down on the couch and sighed, staring at the glowing embers. The common room was empty. Sirius could not believe his luck. She would never be interested in him now. She must think that he was a total prat, not knowing what an index was. She was probably really smart too, being in Ravenclaw and everything.

Girls had never troubled him before, they just came naturally. Never before had he met a girl who he couldn't get interested. But apparently he just had. Sirius did not know if it was her saucy personality, her fairy laugh, they way her hair fell in her face, or just the fact that he could never have her that attracted him. But Sirius knew that he wanted Hazel, and that he would do anything to get her, even if it meant getting tutored. Gritting his teeth, he resigned himself to the undignified concept of going to the library for help three times a week. But if that would be his only chance to see Hazel, then so be it. He had never met anyone that witty, and had never met a girl who would stand up to him or critisize him, he rather liked to idea.

Hazel POV

He left. Sirius was gone. Hazel was very shy, and after six years here she still did not have any really close friends. She had probably talked more at one time tonight than she had to any one person at Hogwarts so far. There were girls in her dormitory, of course, but they had known each other before Hogwarts, and Hazel had always felt like an outsider with them. Not to mention they were all pure bloods and she was muggle born. Also, they were only interested in boys, whereas Hazel was thinking of her career, her family, and her studies. She was not interested in relationships.

Hazel had a hard time believing that she had actually been rude and sarcastic. She always thought of things to say to people in response, clever and cutting things, but she had never really had a chance to employ them before. She was also always afraid of saying them. For some reason Sirius Black liked it. He had laughed at her comments, and he had smiled at her. She had only said them because she figured there was no way he would ever like her at all, she had assumed he would be a total git, and so she had decided to say the things that popped into her head. She regretted it now. She rather wished she had been kinder. It wasn't really his fault that he was awful in potions. And that smile.... And he had promised to be back on Sunday. Hazel could not believe it. He was so cute, and he was smart, even if he didn't know what an index was. His writing had not been half bad, he was just lazy.

Hazel had been more at her ease in his company tonight than she ever would have anticipated. When she had first been paired with him she had expected him to be rude, snide, and condescending, but he hadn't been. He had been friendly. He had smiled at her...

But he was also oh so aggravating! Could it be possible that he really didn't know what an index was? Was he really such an ignorant prat? Had he been behaving that way, laughing at her and egging her on, just to rile her up? Or had he been genuinely confused when she mentioned looking in an index? Hazel was irritated beyond measure by him, and she did not even know why. She couldn't read him the way she could other people.

Sirius Black. Hazel thought of all the things she had heard about him. Girls in her dormitory had spent hours sobbing over him, whether it was because he didn't care, or because he had cared and then stopped caring. Sirius was a heartbreaker, and he was dangerous. Hazel did not want to become friends with him if the rumors she had heard were true. He was bad news, and she did not want to get tangled up in that. Sirius was the sort of guy who would say you were the love of his life one day, and then the next day be making out with someone else behind a shed. He was an egotistical git, the sort who would hex you as soon as look at you if he were bored.

She had heard things about him from other members of pure blood families. They had said that he was a blood traitor, and had walked out on his family. Although she did not trust the pure bloods, especially considering they would love to see her killed, being a muggle born witch herself, but she did not respect him leaving his family. That was not right. Hazel could never imagine walking out on her own family. It had been hard enough coming to Hogwarts. The only reason she had done so at all was because her mother had wanted her to. Her father was dying, and her mother was working all the time, and had a six year old son. Well, he was six now, he hadn't been born at the time she had left for school. Hazel had not wanted to leave, but she had done it because her mother thought it would be a better place for her. Hazel was still not sure if she agreed, but she wanted to get a high paying job to make it worth it for her family. She would raise the money for the surgery her father needed to recover, then they would be the happy family she remembered from before her dad got sick.

She enjoyed her quiet, comfortable existence at Hogwarts, even if she was sometimes lonely. She was going to work at the ministry, and rise to the top of the ranks. She needed top grades, and could not afford distractions at this point. Life was easier without friends, and without Sirius. Maybe she wouldn't come back on Sunday. That way she wouldn't have to risk becoming friends with him.

Hazel stood, walking back to her dormitory, the image of that smile burned into her mind.

**Authors Note: Okay, so what does everyone else think of Hazel? And Amy? Anyone else smell romance? Well obvi I doas I'm writing it...but anyway, r&r!**


	12. New Friendship, Old Love

**Authors Note: Okay, this chapter jumps around, so if you don't understand it just ask and I'll explain it. Hope you enjoy!**

Chapter 12

A New Friendship and An Old Love

There was a Hogsmede trip, and Lily did not know what to do. Holly had finally gotten Edgar to ask her to come with him, and although she was disappointed that James was not taking any notice of that fact, she was content to be going with Edgar. Caroline and Ben were, of course, going together. Janette was going with Henry, and Alice was meeting up with Frank. Lily could not go with James, they were fighting and he was not allowed into Hogsmede. The only other person she would consider going with was Sirius, only as friends though, but he was going with Remus and Peter, Lily assumed, as they always went together.

That left Lily alone in the common room, or alone in Hogsmede. She did not want to tag along as a third wheel on someone else's date, so her only other option would be the library, again alone. Rather than spend the afternoon being ogled by first years, she made her way to the sanctuary that was the library.

To her surprise, she was not the only other older student there. Hazel Brooks, the girl from Thursday at the tutoring who had helped Sirius with his potions was there.

"Hi!" Lily greeted, sitting down. "I didn't expect anyone else to be here, I thought I would be alone."

"Sorry to disappoint you." The girl said nervously, apparently not knowing exactly what Lily's statement had been intended to imply. "Oh no, not like that! I'm glad that I'm not alone. But, I'm curious, why aren't you in Hogsmede? Not that it's really any of my business." She added quickly. "You don't have to tell me, I'm so nosy. It's really a problem, people tell me." Lily said. This girl was very curious. Her pensive gaze made Lily nervous.

"I didn't have anyone to go with." She said slowly.

"Me neither!" Lily exclaimed. She was being very bubbly, more so than usual. She did not know why but she felt nervous and giggly. "You know what?" She said after a moment.

"What?" Asked Hazel.

"We should go together!" Lily exclaimed excitedly.

"What?" Repeated Hazel, looking taken aback.

"Yeah, it'd be fun! We can get to know each other, buy some candy. It's the first trip of the year, it'll be a blast. Everyone will be there." Lily said, happy with her plan. "Come on, it'll be fun." She said again as the girl looked at her skeptically. "Since neither of us have anyone to go with, we might as well. We can still catch the carriages." Lily added hopefully.

She did not think that Hazel would agree, but to her surprise she stood and walked with Lily down to the entrance hall, where Filtch was just rolling up his list. He seemed grumpy at their late arrival, but checked off their names all the same. As Lily and Hazel walked side by side, Lily noticed how short she was. She was over half a foot shorter than Lily. But then again, Lily was quite tall. They clambered into a carriage, and chatted a little on the way to the town.

When they reached the town Hazel's eyes widened. It was almost as if she had never been to Hogsmede before!

"Wow." She gasped in amazement.

"What?" Asked Lily, following Hazel's line of vision. There was nothing odd there at all, just the shops, some signs, and a little road. Lily remembered that that road led to the shop where she had found that invisibility cloak for James.

"It's so cute!" Squealed Hazel in a moment of abandonment Lily had not yet witnessed in her.

"Have you never been here before?" Asked Lily, shocked. "Well, actually, no." Hazel admitted.

"How can you never have come in before now? In three years you've never been in?" Lily asked, incredulous.

"I've never had anyone to go with before." Hazel confessed. Lily felt sorry for her. When Lily said 'I have no one to go with' it was because her friends all had dates, not because she didn't have friends. "I'm not exactly popular, in case you couldn't tell. I'm kind of the biggest loser on the planet." She said.

"I doubt that." Lily told her.

"No, it's true, I swear. I quote books sometimes, textbooks. I have no social life. All I ever do is study. I'm the epitome of loser." Hazel insisted.

"I think that's admirable, it shows great dedication. I wish I had that kind of patience." Lily told her firmly. "But if this is truly your first time here, I have to take you everywhere." Lily said, dragging her first to Honeydukes. "This," Lily said, waving her arm and reveling in Hazel's look of astonishment, "is the sweets shop."

"Wow. My brother would love this place." Hazel said in awe. "You have a brother? What year is he in?" Lily asked.

"Oh, he's only six. And I don't think he's magical. I'm muggle born." She added.

"Same here. I'm the only witch in my family." Lily said.

"Me too! I wasn't going to come to Hogwarts at all, except my mom wanted me to. She said I would be able to get a better education, and that I would be able to make a better career for myself if I were a witch." Hazel said. "My dad is sick, so I want to make lots of money to help him get better." Hazel confessed. She did not know why she was telling this Lily Evans her life story, but for some reason she made Hazel want to talk. Hazel had been rather starved for company for six years, and she was eager to talk to anyone who would listen.

"I want to be a healer. Maybe when I am one I can help both our dads." Lily said, almost to herself.

"Why? What's wrong with your dad?" Asked Hazel. She saw Lily look nervous, and then Lily rushed on.

"He was taken by Lord Voldemort. Or his death eaters. Well, we're not technically sure, but that's what we think." Lily told her in a near whisper. Hazel leaned in to hear her words. "But enough off this depressing talk, lets look at the sweets." Lily said quickly, in a louder voice.

Hazel and Lily looked around Honeydukes for a while, Lily bought a bag of chocolate frogs, and when Hazel refused to buy anything, Lily bought her some of the best candy Honeydukes had. She forced her to accept the gift, and would not allow her to pay her back.

"Lily, don't buy me presents just because of what I said about my dad." Hazel requested.

"That's not why I'm getting it for you. I'm getting it because this is your first time here, and you can't leave empty handed. And I like you, Hazel." She said, smiling. "Now let me take you to the Three Broomsticks."

Hazel smiled. She found herself laughing and talking freely with Lily. It was quite amazing. She was having a very good time, and they sat for a while eating candy and drinking butterbears in the three broomsticks. Hazel, who had never had a butterbear, was very delighted and pleased with the first sip.

"It warms you and tingles." She said with surprise.

"Yes, the first time is always the best." Lily told her, drinking some of her own.

"Can we sit?" Asked a familiar voice. Lily looked up to see Sirius and James standing over them. Remus and Peter were nowhere to be seen.

"Of course." Hazel said inviting them to take the empty seats, not knowing about the fight between James and Lily. Sirius took the seat beside Hazel, leaving James and Lily to sit next to each other. Each firmly looked in a different direction, scowling. "Did I do something wrong?" Asked Hazel quietly to Sirius.

"Of course not. Just a lovers' quarrel." Sirius assured her. "Lovers'?" Asked Hazel, rather loudly. Loudly enough at least for an irate Lily to hear.

"We most certainly are not lovers! Don't listen to a word this guy tells you. You can't believe him." Lily told her, still not looking at James.

"I'm offended, Lily. I thought we were friends." Sirius said, laughing as he did so.

"Yes, well if we were you wouldn't be spreading false rumors about me, would you?" Lily asked him, smiling sweetly.

"They are lovers." Sirius whispered in Hazel's ear. She laughed.

"We were. Past tense. He's a trouble making little liar now." Lily said. "He wasn't quite so bad when I was with him, but that's all done now, so you can put a lid on it, Sirius." Lily told him angrily, seeing the exchange.

"And she wasn't such a temperamental little witch when I dated her." James said, speaking up.

"Don't talk about my friend like that." Hazel told him, back to her quiet voice again. She seemed rather unsure of herself around strangers.

"When did you two become friends?" James asked. "Who are you anyway? And how does Sirius know you?" Asked a very confused James. "We met the other night at-" Hazel started to explain, but Sirius quickly clapped a hand over her mouth.

"At dinner." He finished for her.

"At dinner?" James repeated. "You mean the same dinner that you were at with me?" James asked.

"No, the other one." Sirius said. James just looked non plused, but no one cared to explain. Lily, who had been watching the exchange, smiled triumphantly.

"Sirius! You don't want James to know that you were at the-" "Silencio!" Sirius said, cutting her off mid sentence. The rest of her sentence went unheard by James's ears. "Now Lily, I am going to take this silencing charm off, and you will remain quiet. Understand?" Sirius asked, brandishing his wand. Lily nodded, eager to be rid of the inability to speak.

"So, I won't tell James where you two met if you won't go around spreading rumors about James and me?" Lily asked after the charm had been removed for a moment.

"Deal." Sirius agreed readily. "So when did you two become friends anyway?" Sirius asked, switching subjects before James could ask questions.

"Just today. Neither one of us had anyone to come with." Lily said, smiling airily at Hazel. "So we decided to come together." Lily added.

"I see." Sirius said.

"Where are Remus and Peter, anyway?" Asked Lily, looking around.

"Remus was very mysterious. Said he had something to do. And Peter said he was behind in his homework, so it's just Jamesie boy and my humble self." Sirius said.

"I notice you did not mention James's humility." Lily said, glaring at James. "Or lack thereof." She added.

"Play nice, children. Otherwise you might need a time out. Anyway, we're off to zonkos." Sirius said, standing and beginning to leave. James stood as well.

"Why would you need to go to zonkos? I thought you had already reached your weekly quota for dungbombs." Lily said, again glaring at James. Sirius looked from one to the other and burst into fits of laughter.

"Is that what your little tiff is about then?" Sirius asked, looking from one to the other. "What did he do, Lily, let off a dung bomb in your bedroom?" Sirius asked, still laughing.

"Actually James, now that I think of it, what are you doing here?" Lily demanded. "You do not have parental consent to be here! Get out! Leave! Go back to the castle now! And Sirius, you encouraging him! It's horrendous. Both of you leave, now!" Lily could not believe it had taken her so long to realize. James and Sirius quickly scampered away from her. Lily was never safe when she was in one of her towering rages. "Sorry about them." She added to Hazel in a normal voice, once the two had left.

"It's not a problem. Are you going to explain what that was all about, though?" Hazel asked.

"All what?" Lily asked, as if it had been nothing. She made to reach for a chocolate frog, but then saw that Sirius had nicked all of them. "Oh, I'll absolutely flay him alive." Lily declared under her breath.

"All that scene." Hazel said.

"Oh, that's nothing." Lily told her, trying to evade the question.

"No it's not. What's up with you and James?" Asked Hazel. "And why isn't he supposed to be here?" She added.

"Because…" And then Lily proceeded to tell her the entire story of her and James, leading all the way through recently.

"Well, you two both certainly royally screwed up." Hazel pointed out. Lily liked that about her. She did not have a round-a-bout way of saying things, she just said it.

"What do you mean?" Lily asked.

"Well, I'm not really the one to ask. All I know is from textbooks, but from what I overhear in my bed room, relationships are about compromise. That's your problem. Both of you. You both expect the other to be perfect, and are not willing to accept faults." Hazel told her, contemplating.

"But what if he's not the one I want to be with?" Lily asked. "Then I suppose it wouldn't matter. If that were the case, of course." Hazel said, narrowing her eyes and looking at Lily through her fringe. She was very perceptive for someone who had no social experience. But in this case she is way off the mark, Lily told herself. Her only feelings for James were friendly, and right now she didn't even know if she was feeling that. He is such a trouble maker, Lily thought irritably. And he didn't trust her. Obviously he didn't want to be friends. Well then, they would be enemies. That was perfectly okay with Lily, she could handle being at outs with James, he would just see what Lily's bad side was like.

Lily and Hazel had a great time wandering around the village, even with the cold. Lily showed her the shrieking shack, and then the post office with all the different types of owls. Hazel was amazed. Lily too was amazed, but not over the owls. She was amazed that she had gone so long without ever meeting this girl. Well, it was not so very surprising, they were not in the same classes or house, and Hazel never went to the social gatherings. Lily was sad that she had gone so long without Hazel as a friend. Already she had found her a kindred spirit. They had similar interests, and they were both from muggle families. They were very different too, but Lily felt as if she could talk to Hazel about more serious topics than she ever would with Holly or Janette or Caroline.

Hazel had gotten twelve O.W.L.s, like Lily, and had also begun doing NEWT practice tests. All of Lily's other friends thought she was crazy when they found her doing that, but she was a serious student. It was tough being the only serious minded person in her group of friends, except Remus of course. She sometimes wished she had been sorted into Ravenclaw, but then caught herself. She loved her friends with all their faults. Although she also found herself thinking often that she wished she had been put in the other dorm with the smarter, more academic girls like Emmeline Vance.

In a Different Section of Hogsmede....

Alice was overjoyed. She had arranged to meet Frank in town on the first weekend of the year, and was so excited to see him after all this time apart. She couldn't wait to hear all about being an auror, as she wanted to become an auror herself, and to tell Frank about all the goings on at Hogwarts. She was so happy to be able to tell him, that when she saw him she did not notice his gaunt expression, and how much weight he had lost.

"Frank!" She squealed, hugging him close. He hugged her back, holding her to him for a long moment. He breathed in heavily. "Frank what's wrong?" Alice asked, pulling back and finally looking at him. "You're shivering. Let's go to the Hogs Head, we're near there." She said, leading him down the street to the entrance of the pub. "Alice, it's so good to see you." He said, closing his hand around her own.

"Frank, you're so thin." She commented as he removed his jacket. "And you have huge bags under your eyes, are you sick?" She asked.

"No, just tired." He told her, sighing.

"Is it really bad?" She asked.

"Oh Alice, you have no idea. There are killings and disappearances so often now. More muggles have gone missing in the last few months than we've ever had in an entire decade. I don't know what's going to happen. At least I don't have to worry too much about you, you're safe at Hogwarts." Frank said, rubbing his forehead. "I'm so sorry Frank, are you working very hard?" Alice asked him, looking worried. He was acting so differently from normal.

"Yes. The things I've seen, Alice!" He burst out suddenly. "It's horrific, what they do to these people. And we can't do anything to them most of the time, because it would call attention to it too much. And we don't actually know for sure who's doing it. It's terrible." Frank told her. "But I don't want to talk about it. Let's talk about you." He said, smiling his familiar smile.

"What do you want to know?" Asked Alice, smiling tentatively, still concerned.

"How is your new defense teacher? How are your lessons? Anything you like. Just not the Dark Lord." Frank said.

"The Dark Lord?" Asked Alice, curiosity getting the better of her.

"That's what he is calling himself now. Says that his name shouldn't be besmirched by foul, mudblood tongues. Filthy word, mudblood. Anyway, let us not speak of him."

"Well all right. The new teacher is really good. His name is Ted Tonks." Alice told him.

"Oh, Ted. I know him! He's older than I am, but we met in school. He was a few years above me." Frank told her. "How is he? Still a ladies' man I suppose?" Asked Frank, laughing for the first time. It was not the cheerful laugh that Alice loved so much, it was hollow and empty.

"He's married now, actually. And has a daughter." Alice told him, smiling.

"Really? Does he now? Who did he marry?" Asked Frank. "Andromeda." Alice told him. "And his daughter is Nymphadora." "Oh, so he and Andromeda finally tied the knot, did they? And I'll bet he named his daughter that as a joke too. That would be like him to do." Frank said.

"Yes, he's really nice." Alice said enthusiastically. "And a good teacher."

"Don't you get any ideas, young lady. Don't think I forgot where I first met you. I was your defense teacher too, you know." He told her, although he was laughing.

"You don't need to worry about that. Not with Ted at least." Alice laughed, winking.

"Oh? Who do I need to worry about? Maybe I'll come back and help him practice his defense. He'll need it." Frank said, also laughing. Just as Alice was settling in and getting used to the change in Frank that had shocked her so much when she first saw him, an owl zoomed in through the door, bringing a gust of wind with it. It stopped on their table, pecking Frank urgently. He tore the note off it's foot and paled at what he read.

"What is it, Frank?" Alice asked uncertainly.

"They need me, there's been another attack." Frank said. "Where? Now?" Alice asked, disappointed.

"Little Winging, Surrey. Yes, the dark mark just turned up." Frank said despondently.

"The dark mark?" Asked Alice.

"Yes, I'll explain it to you later. I'm so sorry love, but I have to go. They need all hands on deck. I'll try and see you as soon as I can. And I'll write as soon as they give me a moment off." Frank said, standing and pulling on his coat, kissing Alice lingeringly on the lips before exiting the pub.

Alice looked around. She had not noticed it when Frank was with her, but this a was a very shifty pub. Now she was all alone at her table. She glanced at the occupants of the next table over, and saw that there was an ugly old hag looking at her and licking her lips. 'Do hags eat people? They do sometimes in fairy tales…' Alice asked herself nervously. She looked at some of the other people in the pub and saw a large man in a black cloak sitting at the bar, downing a flagon of ale quickly and asking for another. Alice wondered how intoxicated he already was. Then there was a tall, slim man who was very pale. He was very sickly looking. When he saw her looking he smiled, revealing sharp, pointy teeth. Alice shuddered and looked away, he was obviously a vampire. She quickly stood up, wanting to leave the pub and get somewhere more crowded and safe as soon as she could. She grabber her cloak and shoved her chair back. With a last look at the table she made towards the door.

Perchance, however, she noticed the open letter lying on the floor. For some reason she did not want to leave it in this shady, public place. She bent over and swept it into her pocket, without reading it. Then she left as quickly as she could, making her way back to the main area of shops and the three broomsticks. She had a strong desire for a butterbear before going back to school.

And now back to Lily and Hazel...

Lily and Hazel had exhausted everything that there was to see and do, and themselves in the process. It was also getting even colder. Lily shivered for the second time that minute, clutching her cloak to her chest. Her teeth began to chatter.

"Do you want to go back to school, or do you want to stay and see more?" Stuttered Lily through her shaking jaw.

"Let's go back." Hazel said, her teeth also chattering. They quickly left the village, huddling in the compartment of a carriage and hoping to arrive at school quickly.

"Here we are." Announced Lily, practically sprinting through the main entrance way.

"Yes, here we are. Thank you so much for taking me today, Lily. I had a really good time." Hazel said, smiling. Lily realized that Hazel was not in her house. She kept forgetting that they had not been friends forever.

"Oh it was my pleasure. I had a great time, much more fun than sitting around here doing homework, wouldn't you say?" Asked Lily, also smiling.

"Definitely." Hazel agreed.

"Well...I suppose I'll see you tomorrow then." Lily said, turning to go.

"Yup, at the library. You are going to that tutoring thing, right?" Hazel asked.

"Of course." Lily said. "I just hope I actually get to tutor someone this time." She added, walking up the stairs next to Hazel. At the top of the marble staircase they went in different directions, Lily to her common room and Hazel to hers.

**Authors Note: Okay, now you all know Hazel a little better. What do you think of her?? What about any possible romances with her and Sirus...eh, eh? Okay...r&r.**


	13. Tutoring

**Authors Note: Okay, another rather jumpy chapter. and WARNING to the kiddies, there is a makeout scene (not between Lily and James...tear of sadness I know) so if you are not into reading about kissing...skip over it.**

Chapter 13

Tutoring

It was Sunday at last, and Sirius was excited and nervous. He had seen her with Lily in Hogsmede the previous day, which had been a puzzling experience. He would ask Lily about her today.

On second thought, maybe that's not such a good plan, thought Sirius, remembering her explosion at James. Well, she is mad at him, not me, so what could it hurt? he asked himself, getting out of bed.

He and James had overdone it a tad bit last night. It was a full moon though, and they had been out with Moony. They had been out rather late, and Sirius was sore all over. As a newly made animargus it hurt when he made the shift from man to dog.

He shook his hair out of his face where it was falling gracefully as always. He stretched his muscled arms over his head and yawned widely. Then he removed his shirt, revealing toned abs that were famous among a majority of the female population of the school, and changed into the customary Hogwarts robes.

Wormtail and Prongs were sleeping, they had been out late as well, and Remus was probably recovering from a night spent chewing on himself in the shrieking shack. Maybe it would be best if this Marauder handled the Lily flower alone. Or Moonshine as James had taken to calling her. Although he had not been calling her that lately, from what Sirius had noted. Maybe the two inseparables were in a fight? Was it even possible? She had hated him for years before now, of course, but Sirius had thought that she had been warming up to the idea of herself and Prongs again. Maybe he was wrong. "Morning Rose." Sirius said, entering the common room and finding Lily sitting cross legged on the couch and reading a thick book of some sort.

"That's a new one." She said somewhat coldly, merely glancing at him out of the corner of her eye before returning to her reading. "My name is Lily."

"Yes, but you're as beautiful as a rose that I sometimes get the two confused. Lily does not do the red of your lips and cheeks justice, oh beautiful rose-" Sirius said eloquently, never missing a beat. He was now down on his knees, hands outstretched, with every appearance of professing his undying devotion to her.

"What do you want, Sirius?" Lily demanded, cutting off his speech.

"And obviously as prickly as a rose too." Sirius commented, standing and sitting down beside her. She did not grace that comment with a response. "Whatchya reading?" He asked irritatingly, leaning towards her and preventing her from seeing the page.

"A transfiguration assignment." Lily said, snapping the book closed and almost closing his head inside.

"But it's a Sunday!" Sirius exclaimed.

"Thank you, captain obvious. I'll remember that all day." Lily informed him crankily. He could be very irritating when he so desired, and he was obviously bored right now and using her as an outlet. He could be so aggravating!

"So, had a good time in Hogsmede?" Asked Sirius placating, not wanting to get on Lily's bad side if he was about to inquire after her beautiful friend. And he did not want her to put in a bad word about him to Hazel. That would not improve his chances with her.

"Yes, thank you. Speaking of Hogsmede." Lily said, rounding on him.

"Yes?" He asked innocently.

"What were you and James doing in there? You know he's not supposed to go! How could you allow him to do that? You know he isn't allowed!" Lily said, enraged. "That's totally disrespectful to his mother!" Lily told him, turning red with her anger. So maybe she was over reacting a little, but she hated that they always thought they could get away with breaking the rules.

"But she'll never know, will she?" Sirius said roguishly.

"You just see if she doesn't know by tomorrow." Lily said, smiling calmly now. She had just gotten an idea to get James and possibly Sirius back for going into Hogsmede when they were not supposed to.

"What do you mean? Lily! Come back here Lily Evans!" Shouted Sirius, but it was too late, she had run out of the common room and into the hallway. He would have followed her, but he was sore and not in the mood for chasing. He didn't know if she was sad or happy or what, and he was not in the mood for tears either way. So instead he went upstairs to cause trouble. Maybe he would yell really loudly into Wormtail's ear and wake him up. Forgetting all about Lily and Prongs and Hogsmede, Sirius went upstairs to find whatever mischief was in the making.

_Dear Anne,_

_It's been so long since I've talked to you. I wanted to thank you for all of your hospitality this summer, I really enjoyed staying with you, and your house is lovely. James says hello too. We were both happy to hear that you had decided not to prevent him from going into Hogsmede after all, what with all the complaints from his teachers and everything. The weather is great, and Hogsmede is really lovely this time of year, James and I are having so much fun poking around the shops. We're keeping an eye out for a lovely Christmas present for you too. I have something in mind, but I can't tell you as I want it to be a surprise. Thank you so much again,_

_Lily_

Lily scanned her letter once, tying it to the leg of her owl, noting once again the similarity it had to James. She was proud of her idea. She would get James in trouble and still look nice. She would not get in trouble for that with anyone, and if James yelled at her...well he couldn't. How would he know it was her? Lily felt comfortable enough with Anne that she could write to her, and looked forward to seeing her reaction.

She felt a little guilty getting James in trouble, but he needed to know that he couldn't do things like that and get away with it. She pushed back her guilt as she finished tying the knot attaching the letter to the owl's leg, releasing it out the window. She smiled a little maliciously at the thought of how much trouble James would be in, and then went back downstairs, shivering a little from the cold air in the open owlery.

That afternoon at lunch Sirius sat next to her again. James was not there, and Lily did not even care where he was. Although she had to admit that she noted his absence with slight disappointment.

"So, Lily, we were talking about Hogsmede earlier, right?" Sirius asked, and before she could say anything in response he pressed forward. "You were there with Hazel, right? The tutor girl." Sirius commented.

"Yes." Lily said.

"I didn't realize you two were friends." Sirius noted again. Lily looked at him, but could tell nothing from his face. He was totally calm, with all the airs of holding a natural mean-nothing conversation.

"Yes, well, we are now. I didn't really know her before, now I do." Lily told him.

"She's smart." He said airily.

"And pretty too." Lily observed, trying to tell what Sirius was getting at.

"Yes." Sirius said, trying to look as unconcerned as possible. Lily saw through it.

"Look, Sirius, I hate to burst your bubble and all, but she's not like the other girls in this school. She's not going to fall for a few softly spoken words and a smile or two. She's smart, she works hard, and she has a lot that she wants. She has goals." Lily informed him.

"Like you." Sirius said, smiling innocently.

"Yes, and notice that I'm single." She said. "And don't think that flattering me will get you on my good side, or that I'll put in a word for you with Hazel." Lily told him.

"All right. Will you just tell me everything about her?" He asked with a sigh, but perked up slightly at the prospect of hearing about Hazel.

"You are such a dog." Lily told him. "You are like a little puppy dog, all enthusiastic, begging your master for a treat. And that's the kinder connection that I could draw from that simile." Lily said cryptically.

"What do you mean?" He asked, his eyes narrowing.

"Not really very much of anything. Just that you do have a reputation with women that could lead some people to calling you a bit of an animal...or a dog." Lily said quietly, eating her food and pretending to be fascinated with something across the room. Sirius laughed.

"It's true." He conceded. "Hey! I'll be the first to admit that I've broken a few hearts. But is it my fault that women can't resist this face?" Asked Sirius, sticking out his lower lip.

"It is when you couple it with your insane amounts of flirting." Lily said cynically.

He laughed again at this. His laugh even had a bark like quality. Lily was rather proud of the connection she had drawn between him and a dog. A great big shaggy black dog, just like his hair. Lily added, smiling at the image that conjured. Sirius's hair was rather disheveled, although it flipped out at his ears at times when it was messy, and fell into his eyes when it was silky smooth. Either way it was hard to say he was unattractive. Even Lily had to admit he was good looking.

"Even you?" Asked Sirius.

"Even me what?" Lily asked, not understanding.

"Even you would fall for me?" Sirius asked.

"No way! I know you too well." Lily declared, punching him in the arm.

"All the better." Sirius said. "That way you won't be jealous when I got out with your friend." Sirius told her. Lily shook her head, very much doubting that Hazel would be another of his two second conquests. "That and Prongs would pummel me." Sirius said.

"Why is Prongs pummeling his fellow marauder?" James asked, coming up behind them.

"Marauder? Is this another nickname you have?" Lily asked skeptically.

"Yes." James and Sirius said in unison.

"Well your mate here, Prongs," Lily laughed a little when she reached the nickname, "was telling me how it was all for the best that I have no romantic interest in him because you would pummel him if he went out with me." Lily informed James.

"I probably would. Although I do rather hate you at the moment." James said, remembering their fight.

"Why is that?" Lily asked, who had forgotten about being mad at him as well.

"Because you yelled at me yesterday for no reason." James said. "And you are so temperamental. And emotional. And you are a total seesaw. One minute your yelling at me, telling me you hate my guts and that I can't be trusted and not to touch you, and the next your laughing with me and acting more friendly than ever." James told her in frustration.

"An emotional seesaw?" Lily repeated. "Temperamental?" She asked, echoing him. He nodded. "And I'm being too friendly now am I? You know what Potter, I had momentarily forgotten how angry you made me, but now I've just remembered." Lily rose from her seat and left the great hall to finish some of her homework.

"Well that was dumb." Sirius commented, as James took her newly evacuated seat.

"Her fault." He answered shortly, piling food onto his plate. "You never tell girls that they're emotional. Lesson number three hundred twenty seven. Never forget it." Sirius said. "And remember the whole concept of never her fault? It still applies." Sirius added.

"Well fine, your fault." James said.

"My fault?" Sirius echoed. "How is this my fault? You're the one who started the name calling while you two were having a totally normal conversation. And you're the one who can't just let her forget she was mad and accept it. You had to ask questions and be irritable, didn't you?" Sirius asked, smiling, taking much pleasure from James's irritation. Probably a little more than was actually healthy.

"The reason I'm irritable, Padfoot old pal, was because someone woke me up prematurely this morning by screeching in my ear. I wonder who that could have been? Oh, that's right, you!" James said, egged on by Sirius's calmness. Sirius laughed at the memory of James's facial expression when he had woken up. Sirius's laughter did nothing to sooth James's ill temper, and instead he found Sirius to be the scapegoat he was looking for. "Besides, how am I supposed to know when she's mad and when she isn't? She's impossible." James declared.

"Not impossible. No woman is impossible. She's just a bit of a challenge. I myself enjoy a good challenge." Sirius said smugly. "Maybe because even challenges for you consist of wooing for about two hours rather than one." James suggested mock-mildly.

"That could be it. Although it would be fair to say the same for you, so let's not be the pot calling the kettle black." Sirius noted.

"Try six years, Padfoot." James said morosely.

"Well that might be because you're a total dunce with women. I myself am working on a big challenge tonight." Sirius said confidently. "I'm betting on at least a week for this one, and only if all goes smoothly and I have not overestimated my charms." Sirius added.

"Well, you usually do. And I am not a dunce. It's just Lily, she makes me flustered. I never know what to say to her. She makes me scared. Besides, I've had lots of girlfriends." James said, trying to convince himself more than Sirius. It was true that he had had many girlfriends, but never Lily. Well, Lily, but only for short periods of time and very broken up. Sirius voiced this very thought. "Never Lily." Sirius said. "Because you are a dunce. You are unwilling to accept it when she stops being mad at you, which is really the source of your problems here." Sirius said.

"So, what do I do to get her to forgive me?" James asked. "I really didn't even do anything." James added.

"James!" Sirius rebuked.

"Okay, it was my fault." James said studiously, learning from his teacher, Sirius.

"Okay, so you want my advice?" Sirius said, reveling in it. "I think you should get over her. But as that's not going to happen, lay off. See how she likes it when you stop showering her with praise and attention." Sirius suggested.

"But I have!" James said. "She didn't even notice!"

But Lily had noticed, her heart gave a little pang every morning that went by without his 'Morning Moonshine.' She had grown accustomed to waking up and coming downstairs in the morning to find him waiting with a good morning and a smile. She missed it when it wasn't there, making her almost as irritable as James was, although she vented her energy in more productive ways. She, rather than yelling at her friends, spent more time studying and doing homework. That night Sirius arrived at the library, excited to see Hazel. When he saw her, she did not look as happy to see him as he had hoped. He beamed at her, coming over right away. She looked away, hiding beneath her fringe as she always did. He was about to look down in his sadness when she suddenly looked up, blushing, and flashing him a cute, rather reluctant, little smile.

He beamed even wider, if possible, at the sight of her pleasure at seeing him, At least he thought it was pleasure. Sirius was not one to analyze peoples actions, but he somehow could not stop himself from thinking about every subtle movement of her hand or twitch of her mouth. Maybe she was mad that he had come? Or maybe she was playing hard to get? What was going on inside that beautiful head of hers? "Tough potions assignment?" Asked Hazel as they sat down in the same seats they had used to previous night.

"No, actually we haven't had another potions yet." Sirius told her.

"So what are you doing here?" She asked him, making to stand. "I told you that I'd come, so I'm here." Sirius told her. "Well, if that's all you don't have to stay." She said to him, pushing her chair back, although she did not actually leave. He somehow sensed that she wanted to stay, although he was not sure if that was him making things up in his head or not.

"But I want to be here. I wanted to talk to you." Sirius told her.

"I'm here to tutor, Sirius, not talk. Besides, I thought you told me last night that you didn't want a friend." Hazel said skeptically.

"There's no one there. No one needs tutoring." Sirius said to her, first gesturing towards the empty library around them. "Besides, even if they did there are four others that can help. And I changed my mind. I do want a friend. I didn't think I did, that's not what I came looking for, but that's what I found, and that's what I'm hoping to get." Looking back to her and meeting her eyes, causing her to blush again. She looked down, not meeting his eyes. "Do you want to be my friend?" Sirius asked, hopefully.

"I don't know." She said honestly. 'Well, that's a good sign. She's not telling me to shove it, and I don't need to worry about her trying to be nice…' Sirius thought to himself, smiling at her on the outside. "I don't know, Sirius." She said again. "I've heard some things about you." She told him, sitting again.

"Like what?" Sirius asked. If she had been talking to ex girlfriends, then he had no chance.

"Well, these girls in my dorm-"

"Which girls are in your dorm?" He asked quickly, wanting to know exactly how bad the damage would be.

"There's Melanie Foster, for one. And then there's Hope Tellerman as well." Hazel said, giving him some names. 'Oh, shit. This was going to be bad. He had told Melanie that he wasn't interested in a relationship right now after dating her for two months. It had really only been because he had wanted to go to the school dance with someone else. He had later hooked up with Hope at the dance that he had gone to with the other girl, and then failed to ask her out, telling her that he was already in a relationship. So he had been a little drunk, so what? Everyone can make mistakes. He hadn't known at the time that Melanie and Hope were in the same dorm.' "And...what did they say?" Sirius asked cautiously.

"That you're flighty, a liar, inconsiderate a jerk, a cocky bastard-"

"Well, okay, you don't have to tell me everything the said." Sirius interrupted.

"A chauvinist, that you used them-"

"Enough! I don't want to hear it!" Sirius stopped her.

"But I'm the ghost of Christmas past." Hazel said.

"What are you going on about?" Sirius asked.

"Never mind...it was my dad's favorite film. We used to watch it together during the holidays." Hazel told him.

"Used to?" Sirius asked, picking up on what she had said at once.

"Yes." Hazel said, looking down. He thought he saw her eyes glistening just a little more than was natural.

"Why used to?" Sirius asked.

"He's sick now. But I'm going to be rich and powerful in the ministry one day, then he'll get his operation and we'll be a happy family again." Hazel told him, sniffing.

"I'm so sorry." Sirius said. "Is there anything you want me to do to help? How long has he been sick? Do you not want to talk about it?" Sirius asked, standing from his chair and going over to her. "No, it's fine. I don't want your sympathy." Hazel said sharply, jerking her hands away from him. He had sat on the floor beside her chair and was trying to take her hands to comfort her. he could see her shoulders quivering a little.

"Hazel, you have my sympathy whether you want it or not. Do you want to talk about him? Or would you rather not?" Sirius asked. "Not." She said at once. Sirius sighed, standing and going back to his chair. It was probably best, he was coming on too strong. She needed her space. She was rather like a wild animal that needed to be approached with caution so that it would not be scared away. Sirius did not want to frighten her or to make her think she was another cheap hookup like Hope had been.

"What do you want to talk about?" Asked Sirius.

"You can tell me about your family, if you like." She suggested. Sirius did not respond at once. He did not want her to know yet that he came from a totally dysfunctional family.

"How much do you already know?" He asked perceptively. He was not stupid, he knew people talked. Bellatrix had a particularly loud mouth.

"I know you ran away from home." She said, and did not sound at all pleased with the thought.

"Well you don't understand why. Let me explain it to you. My family hates me, they practice the dark arts. You would have run away too. I know it sounds bad to someone like you, with such high family values, but to me my only family now is the Potters. They were better to me than my family ever was. I ran away because I couldn't stand being around people who supported the killing of muggle borns. You know the bill that was suggested that would legalize the hunting of muggles? That was my aunt." Sirius told her.

"Oh, that's awful." Hazel said, appearing to actually mean it. "Well, don't get me wrong, some of my family is really great. Like Tonks, he's so cool. And my uncle Alphard is the man. And there are a few other family members who aren't so bad. It's just my mom and brother, and my dad. And a lot of my cousins. And most of my aunts and uncles. Three of my grandparents too." Sirius told her, contemplating his family tree.

"What about the fourth?" Asked Hazel.

"Dead." Sirius told her.

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that." She told him. She was looking up again. She was apparently more comfortable talking about other people than herself. He would have to find a way around that somehow. They talked long into the night until long after the other tutors had left, and Madam Pince had extinguished most of the candles. They talked about lighter subjects than their families, laughing and joking with each other. When Madam Pince politely asked them to leave, as she was quite tired, Sirius walked Hazel back to the Ravenclaw common room. As he said goodnight to her, she managed a weak smile that gave Sirius a flicker of hope that she might be warming up to him.

_Hazel_

As she turned to leave, she gave him a slight smile. She had had fun with him. In fact, she hadn't even realized that it was so late until Madam Pince asked them to leave.

"Oh my god, who was that?" Demanded Hope as she entered the Ravenclaw common room. She was surprised to see Hope up so late, she was almost alone in the common room at this hour.

"What were you doing?" Asked Melanie, appearing around the back of a blue cushioned chair.

"That was Sirius." Hazel said simply, not caring to elaborate. Somehow it seemed too soon to talk about it. She didn't want people to know that she was spending time with him, it would ruin it somehow. It was just a little something, maybe a friendship someday, but right now she felt as if exposing it to these girls would ruin it. They would tear whatever little bud there was to shreds in seconds. "Sirius Black? You are not getting involved with him, are you?" Asked Hope, an expression of horror on her face.

"No, I was tutoring him at the library." Hazel said, searching for the only excuse she could come up with. She did not want to talk about it. She did not like talking to these girls. They weren't like Sirius, they didn't care about what her reactions to what they said would be. He seemed so concerned about what she wanted while they talked, always asking her if she wanted to talk about it, if she didn't, if she was tired, if she was comfortable. These girls would not look twice if she were writhing on the ground in pain, let alone the slightest bit uncomfortable.

Hazel went to bed shortly after that, not willing to prolong her interaction with Hope and Melanie.

_Sirius_

As Sirius turned to leave, his heart gave a small leap. Could it be that he had a chance at a friendship with Hazel? She was way too smart for him, but he had dodged that question about Hope and Melanie very skillfully. Sirius returned to the Gryffindor common room, rather elated from his late evening with Hazel. Sirius had enjoyed talking to Hazel, which was surprising as he rarely enjoyed talking to girls. There were, of course, other things that he enjoyed doing at night, but talking was not normally high on his list. He liked talking to Lily most of the time, except when she was in a temper, but it was different somehow with Hazel. Sirius collapsed onto his bed, gazing at the ceiling. That night, for the first time, he went to sleep without talking to James about what he had been doing. James would probably make fun of him if he found out he had been in the library talking to a tutor girl. Well, actually, not about the girl being a tutor girl. Because Lily was a tutor girl, so James would never make fun of that.

Sirius, if he had been asked, would have said that he was the last one back to Gryffindor tower that night. But if he had, he would have been wrong. Down in the dungeons Holly was still out, and very much awake. Although technically dating Edgar, that had never stopped her before. She was not with Edgar now, pinned against a wall. She was with Lucious Malfoy.

It had been happening for a week now, the kisses being slipped in secret, the little looks, the glances, the secret smiles. Holly and Lucious, a most unlikely couple. Hehad taken great pleasure in the idea of hooking up with Lily Evans's friend, Sirius's ex girlfriend. Especially since it was so secret too. Lucious Malfoy loved a good scandal, and Gryffindor with a Slytherin right now was about as scandalous as things got, especiallysince Holly wasso close on the inside, she was always so close to those at the hub of Gryffindor life. Namely the Potter boy and Sirius Black. That, compounded with her muggle heritage and his pure blood, made it that much worse. But she was so damn hot, he couldn't get enough of her.

Lucious had been walking down the hall behind her, and Holly had been late to class. Since she was late, she had been hurrying and had tripped, spilling her books across the corridor. Lucious, regardless of his own lateness, had stooped to help her pick up her books. He had offered her his hand, helping her to her feet. Holly smiled prettily, thanking him for help.

Later on Lucious had passed her and purposely bumped into her again, just enough so that she would drop her books. He had then quickly bent over to collect them for her. Holly, not realizing that he had bent down too, also went to recover her dropped texts. She collided heads with Lucious. He did not pull back, and held his head close to hers. She did not pull back either. From this close proximity, he was very handsome. His hair was soft and smooth, and very blonde. His eyes, although hard, were handsome, and would have been almost feminine, were they not so cold. The rest of his features were nice too, especially his mouth, perfect for kissing.

And so it had started. Holly had been seducing him ever since, twitching her hips a little more than usual, leaning ever so slightly towards him, angling her body just the right way. Holly was very experienced in this art, and knew exactly what she was doing. The best part was that no one had noticed or suspected a thing. Holly loved a scandal as much as Lucious, if not more. Tonight was the first time they had given in to temptation. As shehad beenwalking out of the dining hall that night he had whispered for her to meet him later that night. So she had gone, eager to see what it was all about, although she had a reasonably good idea.

He pinned her against the wall, kissing her passionately on the mouth. She moaned with pleasure as he moved from her mouth down to her neck, kissing her hard and biting her every once in a while, just enough to make her want more. She let her fingers roam free along his back, feeling his skin and thetensed muscles. She could sense his desire, the tension was palpable. He kissed her feverishly, wanting more. He shoved her roughly against the wall, returning to her mouth.They were startled from their kisses by a loud noise from a classroom nearby.

"Shit." Hissed Lucious, tossing her cloak at her where it had falled unheaded to the floor. She threw the cloak over her head, trying to conceal as much of herself as possible."Go, quickly, before you're seen." Lucious hissed quietly. "Not a word to anyone." He added. Holly snuck a last kiss before leaving, running her fingertip down his chest and smiling tauntingly. She was halfway down the hall when she heard footsteps chasing her. She turned quickly, trying to see who it was so she would know whether to run or not.

"Don't tease me like that." He said, bending over and claiming a last kiss goodnight. Holly smiled with satisfaction, she had him now. But what would she do with him? He was very cute, maybe she could keep him around for a while. But a secret, of course. With that thought in mind, she returned to Gryffindor tower, a smile on her face.

Earlier that night, Alice had returned from Hogsmede alone. Being exhausted, she had tossed her cloak onto a chair, forgetting the letter. The cloak hung off the arm, but the pocket fell hung open. The letter that Frank had received fell to the floor and fluttered open. A sleeping Alice did not notice.

**Authors Note: Okay, some of that may strike the less deductive of you as totally random...but it isn't. And the bit about Holly and Lucious- it may seem random now, but it will be an interesting development, shall we say, later. Oh, and ps, Taylor helped me with these next few chapters, so thanks to her for being as obsessed by fanfiction as I am. and thanks to her also for helping me with the explicit makeout scene...haha. Oh, ps, the title of the next chappie, just a teaser, is A Death. Moohoohahaha. Any guesses? Cause you're wrong...well I dunno maybe you'll get it right. Taylor youdisqualified.**


	14. A Death

**Authors Note: Okay, this chappie was pretty fun, let me tell you. I just hope you all enjoy emotional roller coasters...**

Chapter 14

A Death

The next morning Lily went down to breakfast famished. For some reason she was very hungry. She sat next to Alice, piling her plate high with food and devouring it ravenously. The post had just arrived when Lily's breakfast was interrupted most pleasantly.

"James Potter, what do you think you're doing? I was ashamed to hear of you behaving in such a manner. You know that you do not have permission to be in Hogsmede! I told you before you left not to go in, and now I hear that you went in anyway?" Came Anne's loud voice. Lily looked down the table and saw that James had received a howler. Lily smiled smugly. James, however, was not looking nearly as mortified as she had hoped he would. She was, in fact, smiling cheekily and laughing with Sirius. He was completely ignoring his mother's screeching voice. Other people looked at James and laughed at his reaction. When his mother's screaming had stopped, he stood from his seat and waved to the rest of the hall, taking several bows. There was laughter at this.

Lily was furious. He didn't take anything seriously, and was using this as an excuse to get attention and a few laughs. She was also annoyed with herself, however. Her plan had totally backfired. That morning in classes she heard several people calling out, "Hey Potter, nice one this morning!" and "you're mom's hilarious, Potter!"

Lily was so angry and frustrated, she could not stand it. She went to bed angry that night.

The next morning Lily was the first to wake up. She yawned and stretched, looking around the room. She went over to the chair that she had thrown her robes on the other night. She had worn her other pair of robes the day before, and now needed the ones that she had forgotten to wash over the weekend. She remembered having thrown them on the chair at some point. She rummaged around through the other items on the chair. She saw Alice had draped her cloak over the robes, and pushed it to the side in her search. She made a mental note to ask Alice how her visit with Frank had gone. She was pulling the robes over her head when she noticed a letter lying open on the floor. She stooped and picked it up, curious as to the contents.

Frank,

We need you quickly; another muggle has turned up dead. It's a middle aged man, looks to be in his mid forties, with red, graying hair. He has glasses, although they are broken and to the side of his body. He has freckles and green eyes from what we can see beneath the scaring. He looks as if he would be tall, but was obviously subjected to the cruciatis curse, and is now deformed and stooped. His back was broken, as were one leg and several ribs. Please come quickly, the body just turned up and we have hopes of catching the guys that did this this time. We need all hands on deck to locate the culprits. Apperate here as soon as possible, the address is 4, Privet Drive, Little Winging, Surrey. It looks as if he may have been apperated here after his death, but we can't be sure. Someone must have been here, as the dark mark is now hovering above the house, please come as quickly as you can to do damage control and modify memories.

Lily blanched, reading the letter. The description had had an uncanny resemblance to her father, but by the last sentence of the description she was sure that it had to be him. That was her address. That was her father's mangled body that had appeared. What was the dark mark? And modifying memories? They would be removing this instance from the memories of Petunia and her mother? Who would Lily talk to about it? Would they just forget that her father had ever existed? What would they do to them? Lily did not know, but right now she knew that she had to get home. Her only thought was getting to her father and trying to help find the people who did this to him. Lily ran down the stairs, still gripping the letter tightly in her fist. She sprinted down the stairs and into the common room, tears streaming down her face. She could not see properly from the tears that were blurring her vision.

"Whoa!" Someone cried out, snatching her up in their arms as she knocked over a chair and then continued to run towards the common room. She had started screaming when the person stopped her, impeding her progress. She was crying and hitting whoever was holding her in her effort to get back to her home. "Lily, calm yourself. What happened?" asked the person holding her. Her entire body was shuddering with her raking sobs as she tried to escape this firm grip again.

"Let me go!" She said, beating the person's chest with her closed fist, one of which was still clutching the letter.

"Shh, Lily. Tell me what happened. Calm down." said the person placating. She looked up through her tears and recognized James. She could not escape him, although she did try again. He was taller, larger, and stronger than she was. She could do nothing to evade his grasp.

"Let me go" she said again, still crying but speaking less vehemently this time.

"No, Lily. You're a danger to yourself and everyone in your path. What's up?" He asked, not releasing his hold on her for even a moment. Lily just sobbed more and blubbered incoherently. He made more hushing noises to her, transporting her, still in his arms, to the couch where she rested her head against his firm chest, her slender shoulders still shaking with the sobs. She waved the letter at him, and, puzzled, he took it.

He read it twice through, quickly. She heard his sharp intake of breath as he finished the letter.

"Oh Lily, I'm so sorry." He said as he finished it for the second time.

"I have to go home." She said, making to stand again.

"Of course you're not going home." He said, as if there were no question about it.

"I have to James." Lily told him, but she was stuck and could not move. She looked at him and saw that he was gripping her wrist. "Let me go James! I have to go to him."

"You can't.' Things will be crazy there, and how would you even get there?' And think how bad it is just reading this description; imagine what it will do to you if you see him." James reasoned

"James, I don't care what you say, I have to go to them, if only just to see my mother and sister, or to help them find the people who did this" Lily told him, pulling at her wrist to remove it from his clutches.

"Lily, they have trained ministry officials there helping, do you honestly think you could do better than them?" James asked.

"He's my father!" Lily yelled.

"I know, Lily, and I'm sorry. But there's nothing you can do. And if you go back now, your mother might not let you return." James told her. "Remember what she said last time?" He asked her. Lily did remember, but even though what he was saying was reasonable, she did not want to hear it.

"Let me go James. I can't just stay here and do nothing while my father is dead and the people who killed him are free." Lily said, using her free hand to wipe away the tears on her face. She wiped the snot off her nose, sniffing loudly.

"Go to Dumbledore-" James started to say.

"Dumbledore!" Lily interrupted "Dumbledore! How can you even say that name to me?" She shrieked. "Dumbledore hasn't done anything! He was supposed to have already found the people who did this. This is all his fault! I'm not going to him." Lily declared fervently.

"Lily, you can't go home, I won't let you." James told her. "It's not safe for you to go back there yet. I promise you I'll go back with you at Christmas time if Dumbledore says it's okay." James said, attempting to sooth her. It did not work, if anything it made her angrier.

"You cannot tell me what I can and cannot do!" Lily told him. "I'm going back there now." She said, but he was still holding her wrist in his larger hand. He pulled her back to the couch so that she was sitting beside him again. She was still crying and shaking with anger, frustration, and her tears. "Let me go James, let me go." She kept repeating, still hitting him to make him let go.

"Quiet, Lily." James said again, stroking her arm until she was calmer. He pulled her close to him again where she wept into his shoulder.

"He's gone, James. He's never coming back." She said, although the sound was muffled in his shirt.

"I know, Lily. Shhh. I'm here, it's all right." He told her, still rubbing his fingers in little circles on her back, trying to make her sobs stop.

"What can I do, James? He's gone." Lily said, looking up at him through her watery eyes.

"There's nothing you can do, Lily. You just have to be strong. It's okay, just calm down. Come with me, Lily." James told her, pulling her up.

"Where are you taking me?" She asked, but followed him none the less. He was holding her hand and she following him without struggling.

"It's a surprise, just follow me." he said, leading the way.

James took her to an all too familiar corridor. Lily realized too late where they were, right outside Dumbledore's office.

"James, I refuse to go in there. I can't talk to him, I can't do it. Let go of me or I will scream so loud that your eardrums will explode." Lily threatened, resuming her struggling. "I can't believe you took me here. You knew I didn't want to come. What are you doing? This is so inconsiderate of you. Let me go!" She yelled, tugging her hand free of him and running down the corridor.

"Lily, come back." James said, chasing after her. He caught up with her quickly and grabbed her again, pulling her back to Dumbledore's office.

"James, I don't want to." She whined, struggling half heartedly against his hold on her. His arm was around her waist so that she would not be able to escape again.

"Lily, I understand that you think you don't want to, but you don't have a choice. Now go up there and talk to him, I'll wait for you down here." James told her.

"You're not coming up?" Lily asked, looking frightened. James rarely saw her looking frightened, and it was this, more than anything she could have said, that made him go up with her.

"Do you want me to?" He asked, knocking on the gargoyle for lack of a better plan.

"Yes." Lily admitted somewhat bashfully, looking at the floor.

"Then I'll come. But you have to do the talking." James told her as the gargoyles sprang to life and the door opened.

Lily smiled feebly at him, and then frowned at the prospect of facing Dumbledore.

"Up you go, I'm right here." James assured her, pushing her gently up the stairs.

"Lily." Dumbledore said as she opened the door to his office timidly. "James." He added when he saw James behind her. "How nice to see you." Dumbledore said, standing. "How may I help you?" He asked. Lily did not speak right away, not until James nudged her in the back. Then she handed over the letter that was still crinkled in her hand.

She watched Dumbledore's expression change as he read it.

"Oh. Oh my," was all he said as he read the words written on the note. His face paled as he read the description of Lily's father, and then the address where he had been found. "Why wasn't I informed of this?" He asked, more to himself than to Lily. "Millicent said she would tell me if anything else came to light on the subject." Dumbledore said, obviously upset about something.

"Who, professor?" Lily asked.

"Millicent Bagnold, the minister of magic, or mistress, whichever you prefer." Dumbledore said, only half paying attention.

"Were the people who killed my father found?" Lily asked, traces of tears and anger still in her voice.

"I'm sorry, Lily, but I don't know." Dumbledore informed her.

"You don't know?" She repeated incredulously. She started to turn, afraid that she would scream at him if he didn't give her something soon, but James tightened his grip around her waist and made her stay and listen to what Dumbledore had to say.

"I don't know. This is the first I've heard of this, I'm sorry to say. Millicent was supposed to keep me informed; she promised me that she would let me know if anything else happened. I don't know how this slipped through the cracks." Dumbledore told her.

"Professor, that's not good enough. My father is dead. I need to know who killed him, and I need to know now." Lily said. "Are you really telling me you didn't know anything about this?" She said. Dumbledore shifted from one foot to the other, looking guilty of something, but Lily could not tell if that something was knowing and not telling, or of not knowing.

"Well, there was something." Dumbledore told her. "A note was sent to me last week, but I didn't think of it." He said, going to his desk and removing a note from it. He handed it to Lily, who took it in her hands, trembling all over.

Surrender Lily, or her father is dead. Read an almost illegible scrawl.

Those were the only words written on the dirty little slip of paper. Lily let it slip through her fingers to the floor, unheeded. She was in shock. Dumbledore had known. They had threatened to kill her father and he hadn't told her. She could have saved him.

"We could have saved him." She said, almost collapsing. She would have, if James had not been there to support her. He had read the note over her shoulder and knew what had happened.

"There was nothing we could have done, Lily. We couldn't have given you to them." Dumbledore told her.

"But we could have gone to meet them and then found out who they were. Or we could have discovered who sent the letter. Or done something! But now my dad is dead, and there's nothing we can do. And they still don't have me, what do you think will happen next? Do you think they'll just give up? Do you think that it'll all just disappear now that he's dead? Because it won't. They'll go to my mother next, or my sister. I have to surrender myself to them; otherwise the killing will never stop." Lily said with a deathly calm in her voice, leaning hard into James's side in an effort to remain standing.

"Lily, we need you to have any hope of stopping the killing. Without your help we'll never catch them. I think we should start your training again, as soon as possible." Dumbledore said, changing the subject abruptly. Lily did not like that. She wanted to talk about how Dumbledore had kept her outside the loop and that had resulted in her father's death. Lily did not respond right away. She did not trust her voice to work.

"I think that's a good idea." James said, speaking up. Lily looked at him angrily. She did not want him on Dumbledore's side. He was supposed to be on her side. He was supposed to support her. Why was he agreeing with Dumbledore about this? "Lily, you have to start your training, that way you'll know where he'll hit next. Don't you want to stop the killing?" James asked her, trying to help her see reason.

"Yes." Lily agreed reluctantly.

"Excellent. So we'll do your training on Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays at 8:00 PM." Dumbledore said.

"Actually, I can't. I have something on Thursdays and Tuesdays at 8:00 PM." Lily said.

"So Monday, Wednesday, and Friday?" Dumbledore asked.

"Okay, sure." Lily said somewhat reluctantly. That would mean that she would be busy every night of the week except for Saturdays.

"Then I'll see you then, I suppose." Professor Dumbledore said, turning away and sitting at his desk. "And I am terribly sorry about your loss, Lily." Dumbledore said. "I will be looking into why I wasn't informed, Lily, I can assure you." He then began writing on a piece of parchment that he had removed from a desk drawer.

Lily glanced at James, asking with her eyes whether or not they should leave. In response he gently directed her towards the door with his hand on the small of her back.

"I'm proud of you Lily." He said when they reached the corridor outside Dumbledore's office.

"Why?" She asked, sniffing loudly again, determinedly putting her tears behind her.

"Because you put aside your pride, probably for the first time since I've known you." James told her, smiling. She did not respond, she merely rolled her eyes at him.

"I still can't believe you made me do that." She told him. He looked wary, afraid of her wrath.

"Lily-"

"Thank you." She said.

"Really?" James asked, stunned.

"Yes. Thank you for coming with me, thank you for making me do that. It'll be better this way. I need to take the lessons." Lily told him, smiling at him slightly.

"Where are you going to go now?" James asked her.

"I'm not sure. Class I suppose. I don't have much choice." Lily said.

"Don't go to class, Lily." James suggested.

"Well, where else can I go?" Lily asked him.

"I know a place where you can go that will have everything you need." James told her.

"Will you be there?" Lily asked him.

"If you need me, I will always be there." James told her. Lily decided not to dwell on that comment; she didn't want to be reading something into nothing.

"Where is this place?" Lily asked him, curious.

"It's a secret." James told her.

"Have I been there before?" Lily asked, eager to play a guessing game.

"Yes." James told her.

"Where?" Lily asked, confused. "Will I recognize it?" She asked.

"No, it's different every time." He said.

"I see." Lily said, although she did not see.

She followed him down the corridor to the mysterious room that he had told her about. He opened a door that they had entered together before, although Lily did not recognize it until they were already seated. "Where is this place?" Lily asked him.

"Don't you know?" James asked her teasingly.

"Obviously I don't." Lily said, looking around her surroundings. She had most definitely never been here before. Everything was pink, with a fluffy white carpet on the floor. There was a blazing fire in the grate, and a large pink couch across from it. There was a coffee table in front of the couch, laden with chocolate of all different kinds. There were caramel chocolates, and there were milk chocolates, dark, white, raspberry, strawberry, coconut, and crème.

There was a large teddy bear on the floor, and there was soft music playing in the background, and there were vanilla scented candles burning around the room.

Lily was sitting on the couch next to James, looking around her in amazement. "I have definitely never been here before." She told him.

"Of course you have, but it looked different when you were here last time." James told her. She just looked at him blankly. "We're in the room of requirement." Comprehension dawned on Lily's face as she looked around again. "And right now you need soothing music, scented candles, a warm soft fuzzy carpet, fluffy pillows, blankets, and chocolate" James told her, holding a box of the sweets out to her.

"Thank you." She said, biting into a large milk chocolate truffle.

"Do you want me to stay, or would you rather be alone?" He asked her.

"I actually prefer the company." Lily told him, holding the chocolates back out to him.

"Then I'll stay." He said. "Do you want to talk about your dad?" asked James after a moment of silence.

"I'd like that." Lily said. "You know, I remember once when I was younger" Lily said after a moment. They spent a long time talking about Lily's memories of her father. She told James about how they used to play catch, and he would push her on the swings. He laughed in all the right places and was sympathetic at the right times. He somehow new exactly what she needed to hear.

They were talking for so long that Lily lost track of time. She had finished the box of chocolates a long time ago, but the box somehow continued to replenish. She was cuddling with the teddy bear, and was covered in a blanket. There was a fluffy pillow behind her head.' Her legs were on James's lap; he was sitting next to her on the couch, passing her chocolates from time to time. She felt six years old again, when she had the chicken pox and stayed home from school. Her mother had propped her up on pillows and fed her broth while she watched television. She had thought she was sad then, that was nothing compared to now. But it wasn't so bad, since James was there, listening and sympathizing. She felt as if she had a lump in her throat that made swallowing difficult.

After a while she did not want to talk about her dad. She wanted to be distracted from the emptiness growing inside her. While she reminisced, she could pretend that he was still there. But then she would remember that he wasn't there, and that she would never see him again.

"What's wrong?" James asked after she was silent for a few moments.

"I don't want to talk about my dad anymore. I just want to forget." Lily said.

"You'll never forget Lily. You can't forget. And you don't want to forget, deep down. Think of all the good times, you don't want to lose those memories." James told her. Lily began to cry at that. Even though it was true, and he was right, it made her sad. "What do you want to talk about?" James asked, seeing that his words had upset her.

"You tell me something about your family. Or you. Anything really. I don't mind." Lily said, sniffling.

James told her about his childhood, and his family. He told her stories about Anne, and growing up as a wizard child. Lily found it really interesting, that he had grown up with brooms and magic. He had always known he would go to Hogwarts, whereas she had not found out until she got the letter. Their childhoods had been so different. When he got the chicken pox, his mom had said a simple charm and it was gone. When he fell and scraped his knee, the scrape disappeared immediately.

Lily was hungry for solid food. Not that chocolate wasn't solid, but she wanted something with more substance. She had a lingeringly sweet taste in her mouth that, while pleasant, grew rather sickening after a while. Suddenly a large bowl of spaghetti with pesto sauce, her favorite food, appeared. She didn't know how the room had known that she was hungry, or that her favorite food was spaghetti with pesto, but it had known.

"What's that?" James asked, looking at the bowl of spaghetti and the smaller plates that had arrived with it.

"It's my favorite food in the world." Lily said enthusiastically. James stood and picked up the plates. Lily's feet and legs were cold without the heat of his body under them. He piled the two plates with the spaghetti and brought them over to the couch. She moved her legs to the side to allow him to sit again.

"My favorite food is steak." James told her. "What's your favorite color?" James asked her.

"Pink." She said.

"Oh, I should have guessed from the room." James said, laughing. Lily smiled weakly. She did not feel like laughing.

"What's your favorite color?" Lily asked.

"Green. Like your eyes." James said, smiling. "Or red, like your hair," he added. Lily blushed. They then passed the time by discussing their favorites. They talked about favorite quiddich team (James) and favorite muggle band (Lily).

"Well, I like Puddlemere United, but what's your favorite quiddich team?" James asked.

"I don't really follow quiddich." Lily admitted.

"Don't follow quiddich?" James asked, horrified.

"Not really." Lily said, shifting her legs.

"But if you had to choose?" James asked.

"Gryffindor?" She suggested.

"Why Gryffindor?" He asked, laughing.

"Because you play on it." She said. James smiled.

"I like your socks." James said suddenly, looking at her feet. Lily wiggled her toes through her socks, showing off the little pigs that were stitched onto them.

"My mom gave them to me." She confessed, blushing again.

"They're cute." James said.

"They're embarrassing." Lily told him, eyeing her discarded shoes and wishing she had kept them on. She didn't want James knowing that she wore piglet socks. But, then again, he knew practically everything else about her, so what would it hurt?

"They're not. I like them. If you don't want them, I'll take them." James told her, touching the cotton fabric and then running his finger down her foot. She had told him that her feet were ticklish, she knew now that that was a mistake.

"Don't tickle me James!" Lily said, kicking him.

"Why not?" He asked, running his finger down her sock again and causing her to twitch her foot away from him, trying to hide it beneath the blanket.

"I'm not in the mood to laugh, it doesn't seem right." Lily told him, again embarrassed. Why was she so self conscious about him suddenly?

"Oh, right, sorry." James said apologetically. There was a momentary silence in which Lily again shifted her weight.

"Stop moving around so much." James complained good-naturedly. "Just stay still." He grabbed her legs to keep them in one place so that she would stop fidgeting.

Lily looked at James, trying to puzzle over her emotions. She was sad, that was easy to figure out. But there was something else as well. She liked his company, and somehow while talking to him she forgot about her father, and Voldemort, and death eaters, and Dumbledore, and all that mattered was the moment and him and her.

James leaned forward, taking her face in his hands. He kissed her suddenly and passionately, catching her lips up in his own.

"James, what are you doing?" Lily demanded, pulling back from his kiss.

"Kissing you." James told her, leaning forward again. Lily did not allow him to come close enough this time. She would not allow him the satisfaction of finding out that she wanted him to kiss her. She knew that if he kissed her again she would not be able to pull back.

"You can't." Lily told him.

"Watch me." James told her, again trying to lean in.

"James, now is not the time. You can't do this right now, I need you." Lily told him.

"And you can have me, that's what I'm telling you." James told her, pulling away as well to look at her closely.

"No, I want you as in friend you. I want the James I can talk to about everything, the James that understands me. Not the James who all we ever do is kiss." Lily explained, taking a bite of her spaghetti with pesto just for the sake of doing something. She needed to put something in her mouth to take the tingling sensation away from her lips. She could still feel the warmth of his kiss.

"Is that what you think it would be like, Lily?" James asked her, cocking his head to the side.

"Of course. It is what it would be like. That's all people do when they go out." Lily told him, basing this mostly on her experience with Severus.

"But we would be different. We could talk about everything, and still be the same, but also do the kissing." James told her.

"It never works like that, James. And things would be different. We would have the label. People would look at us differently. It would make everything more awkward." Lily told him.

"Be honest, Lily. People already look at us funny. And if you really cared about the label, we could keep it a secret." James told her.

"But it wouldn't work. And what about when we break up?" Lily asked.

"When we break up? We haven't even started going out, and you're already thinking about our breakup?" James asked her.

"Well, you have to think about the future. And I really value your friendship, James. I don't know what I'd do without you." Lily told him.

"You don't have to do without me, that's what I'm saying. I'll always be here for you, and I want to always be there for you." James told her passionately. "And you're friendship isn't good enough for me, Lily. I want your love, not your friendship." James told her.

"James, this isn't the right time for this conversation. My dad just died, and you're telling me that you want to be with me forever. It's too much. I can't handle it. I don't even know if I'll be alive tomorrow, let alone still be friends with you. You can't throw this at me now." Lily told him, angry that he was putting her in this situation again.

"I'm sorry, you're right." James told her, although he looked disappointed.

"Can you please leave now? I need to think, alone. I'm sorry, but I think I just need to be alone." She told him. He sighed, looking at her regretfully, and then putting her legs to the side and standing. He took her and his own empty bowls to the table and placed them next to the larger spaghetti bowl, where they disappeared.

"Is there anything I can get you before I leave?" He asked, a trace of bitterness in his voice.

"Can you grab me a pillow, please?" Lily asked. James brought one over and placed it on top of her.

She put it under her legs where he had been sitting so that the space would not feel so empty now that he was gone. He smiled faintly. "Thank you James, thank you so much for bringing me here, for doing all this, for being you. And I'm sorry. I really am." Lily told him, look at him beseechingly.

"You have nothing to apologize for." James told her, turning away and leaving the room of requirement, leaving Lily alone to her thoughts.

Lily could not believe him. How could he do that when she was so upset about her father? But worse than even that, she was angry at herself for enjoying it. What did that mean? She must have been confused and vulnerable; anyone would have enjoyed it under the circumstances. She needed to have him as a friend. She didn't need the emotional trauma of having a boyfriend now. Especially not James, it would be an emotional roller coaster ride. Holly would be mad, Sirius would make a big deal of it, Hazel would gloat, people would stare, and having a boyfriend was hard.

Lily didn't exactly know what she was doing. Severus had not been much experience; they had been in different houses, so she had never needed to know how to navigate the tricky waters of common rooms and dining tables. And now especially she needed to focus on her lessons, as much as she hated to admit it. She needed to stop the killings. And with that last lingering thought, she drifted into an uneasy sleep, dreaming about her father.

James

James walked morosely down the corridors. He had no idea what time it was, but people were either at dinner or still in classes, because there was no one in the halls, but it was light outside so he knew it was not too late. He would have to ask Sirius for his notes later on. On second thought maybe Remus would be a better bet. Why had he been such an idiot? Sirius was right, he was a dunce with ladies. He should have known not to kiss her when she was so confused and sad. But it was so hard to resist. It was all he could think about when he was with her. He had been suppressing the desire to kiss her for the entire day he was with her. She was so beautiful. He couldn't help it. Sirius would no doubt have something to say on the matter.

He arrived in the common room, not knowing what else to do, and discovered Sirius there, along with most of the rest of the house, all doing homework. Classes were over. He had been talking to Lily for longer than he had thought, but time with her always went quickly.

"Where were you all day mate? You look awful, as if you want to kill yourself." Sirius commented as he sat down on the couch, making Peter scoot to the side.

"I almost do, mate, I almost do." James said.

"I didn't see Lily all day either." Sirius said, nudging James in the side. "James, you old rascal. I thought I was the dog here, I was obviously mistaken." Sirius said laughing.

"Yes, we were together. Not like that though. I don't feel as if I can talk about it though, it's her private thing. But the point is we were in the room of requirement, talking and having a good time, and then I kissed her." James said.

"And?" Sirius demanded, leaning forward.

"Well, it was stupid of me. She had just been really hurt, that's why we were talking instead of going to classes." James explained.

"You kissed her when she was emotionally vulnerable? You idiot." Sirius observed.

"Well thanks for being so sympathetic. That really makes me feel a ton better. That really clears things up for me too, what would I do without you Padfoot?" James asked sarcastically. "And I am learning, you know." James told him.

"Really? What are you learning?" Sirius asked. "Because I am not seeing much improvement."

"No, there's lots of improvement, I swear. Today she didn't once mention Hogsmede, and like you suggested I didn't ask why not. Isn't that a good step?" James asked.

"Not if you couple it with the fall of doing something as stupid as kissing her." Sirius told him.

"I'm sorry, okay? I can't help it. We've covered this. Besides, she was so sad. I had to." James told him.

"You had to confuse her more and make her sadder? James, girls can't just kiss without strings attached. Well, I suppose some can. But Lily can't, which you should know. And also, you should have asked her. And it's too soon, she told you just friends. Come on, think about it. Try to exercise some restraint, Prongs." Sirius told him, an air of hopelessness in his voice.

"I'm such a dunce at this whole thing. And I don't want it to be no strings attached, I really like her, she just doesn't get it.Ê She's the one who doesn't like strings, not me." James said with a sigh.

"Well, I suppose it's never too late." Sirius said. "So what exactly did she say?" Sirius asked him. They then proceeded to over analyze Lily's every hand gesture until and through dinner.

"Well, I'm convinced that she's warming up to you." Sirius told him. "Otherwise she would have pushed and yelled. But asking you to leave was not a good sign. The friends thing was good. And you definitely had some good lines in there, Prongs. I don't know where you pulled those ones from, but they were genius. Would you mind very much if I used a few for myself?" Sirius asked him.

"They weren't lines, Padfoot. They were the truth. I suppose it's easy to be kind and romantic when you're telling the truth." James said in a tone the suggested perhaps he wished it were not the truth. "Anyway, what are you doing with yourself on this lovely evening?" James asked.

"Oh, nothing really. I'm just seeing someone." Sirius said evasively.

"Who? Where? When? Do I know them? Girl or boy?" James asked, eager for something to distract him from Lily.

"Girl, yes you know them, not saying where, and tonight." Sirius informed him, referring to the next night at tutoring with Hazel.

"You can't keep secrets from me. I'll just follow you around all night. Or look on the map." James said smugly.

"Shh, not so loud Prongs. Do you want to alert the entire Gryffindor house to the fact that said map exists?" Sirius asked him.

"Good point." James said. "So who is the mystery woman?"

"You met her in Hogsmede, Lily's friend." Sirius told him.

"Does she have a name? And how do you know her?" James asked.

"Hazel is her name. And I met her somewhere, it's a secret." Sirius told him.

"A secret? Is that what the big cover up in Hogsmede was about?" James demanded, suspicious now.

"Yes a secret, yes a cover up. No I'm not telling, and no you cannot follow me." Sirius told him, looking away. He wondered what James would say if he knew he had gone to tutoring.

"Padfoot, tell me now. You can't have secrets from me. I'm practically your brother; now just tell me who the girl is." James said, crossing his arms. What was going on with everyone lately? Lily was being so odd, but then again that was probably due to her father's brutal murder, and now Sirius was sneaking off to meet girls, which in itself would not be odd, but not telling James about it was a new thing.

"You have secrets from me." Sirius argued.

"I do not." James said, affronted.

"You do to. What was the big mystery about why Lily was upset?" Sirius asked him, smiling triumphantly.

"That's her secret, not mine. That's totally different." James told him.

"No it isn't." Sirius said. "I'll tell you if you'll tell me." Sirius bargained.

"I can't just betray Lily's trust like that; it's a totally different thing." James told Sirius, annoyed.

"So you trust her more than me? I'm hurt." Sirius said, knowing James would not tell him. Now he wouldn't have to disclose his secret about tutoring.

"No, I trust both of you equally, but that doesn't mean that I'm going to tell you her secrets. I don't tell her your secrets, that's why she was all mad at me." James told him.

"Well, then we seem to be at an impasse." Sirius observed.

Lily rose from her uncomfortable sleep, not sure what time it was. She needed to know what time it was so that she could go to her meeting with Dumbledore. It was Monday, so their first lesson would be tonight. As if the room had read her mind, which it probably had, a watch appeared on the table. It was 7:48 PM, perfect. Lily would just have time to make herself somewhat presentable before leaving. She had no clothes to change into, but there was a brush and a toothbrush and sink in one corner, conveniently. So she brushed her hair and pulled it out of her face into a ponytail, and brushed her teeth. She felt much better, she had to admit.

She left the room of requirement behind, silently thanking it for being so good to her, and made her way towards Dumbledore's office. She was a little early, she noticed, but that probably wouldn't be a problem.

She still did not know the password, so she knocked awkwardly on the stone wall where she knew the door to be. "Professor?" She called out timidly. "Lily, welcome, sorry about that, the password is Sugar Quill, for future reference." Dumbledore told her. "Right." Lily said, following him up the moving spiral staircase. "Okay, so we'll start, shall we?" Dumbledore suggested. Lily nodded her consent and they began. They refreshed Lily's ability to read peoples minds and penetrate their thoughts. It was harder than it had been last year, she had forgotten how to do a lot of it and she could tell that Dumbledore was growing frustrated.

"I'm sorry." She apologized for what felt like the hundredth time that night. She kept using the wrong incantation.

"That's quite alright." Dumbledore said, although there was an edge in his voice. "Why don't we call it a night?" Dumbledore suggested. "You should practice tonight, close your mind. Try to block the dreams, and maybe find someone you can practice on. Try to read someone's thoughts." He suggested. Lily nodded, although the thought made her nervous.

Did she really want to see into her friend's minds? Would that be weird? It probably would be. And it was likely that none of them would want her to. If Lily asked she was sure that James would agree, but she didn't know if she wanted to see what he was thinking. She decided just to practice closing her mind rather than practicing the mind reading.

They had been in the lesson for over two hours, and Lily was exhausted. Closing your mind was hard work, especially when you were working against Dumbledore's full power. And trying to break down his barricades was next to impossible, although she new she had come close at least once. Lily arrived in the common room and collapsed.

"What's up, Lil?" James asked, coming over and standing over her.

"Nothing, I'm just tired." She said, standing. She did not want to do this with him right now. She knew he was just trying to be friendly, but at this point she couldn't handle being around him. All she thought about was how sweet he had been and how he had tried to kiss her. And he had succeeded too.

"Okay, well, you should probably go to bed then." James commented. "I'll give you the notes I got from today tomorrow if you want." James told her.

"Thanks. Do we have homework due in classes tomorrow?" Lily asked him.

"You've done it all; none of it was assigned today." James told her. Lily walked up to the dormitory, not even wanting to ask how he knew she had done it. She could feel his gaze on the back of her head the entire way up the stairs until she disappeared.

"You have got it bad." Sirius commented from an armchair nearer the fire.

"Thank you, I wasn't aware." James told him, disgruntled. Why couldn't she just let him in?

**Authors Note: So, what do you think? I already have the next chapter written, but it's never too late to make changes if you tell me what you want to happen...review!**


	15. A Dream

Authors Note: Okay, I did the best I could with this chapter. Sorry if it doesn't come fully up to snuff...it's hard trying to live up to JK. Haha, kidding, I have no aspirations to be her, I'm not that delusional. Anyway, it this seems unrealistic or rushed, I apologize. it was the best I could do. Ps. Anyone else notice how long the chapters have been getting? Who's proud of me?

CHANGE IN STORY-Okay, and just a brief note about a change in the story, and not a very important one at that. I recently came to my senses with regard to a previous chapter, and decided that having two separate sixth year dorms for girls and boys was just lame and stupid. So here's what I did. I put Fabian and Gideon in the seventh year with Emmeline Vance and Marlene McKinnon. They were still in the same potions class as the sixth years because its the NEWT prep class. And Edgar is in the same dorm as the rest of the Marauders, he's just not friends with them- tear of sadness for him. He sort of reminds me of Neville in some ways...Anyway, remember last year when Lily went with the invisibility cloak to apologize to James? Well, I said that she looked in one of the beds and saw a blond boy, that would be Edgar. So anyway, go back and read it if you feel the desire, but that's the way the characters are now, it's not really worth re reading. its basically the same stuff. You know all the changes from reading this authors note.

Also, I am reposting this chapter because the last three pages were cut off. It wasn't supposed to be a cliffy! I'm so sorry for leaving you all hanging! I didn't even realize that I had until someone mentioned it in as review…anyway I'll mark where the cut off was so that those of you who already read this bit but not the new stuff at the end don't have to waste time.

Chapter 15

A Dream

A few weeks passed and Lily's friends were worried. She walked around as if in a daze. She did all her homework, went to her lessons, her tutoring sessions, her classes with Dumbledore, and fulfilled all her prefect obligations. On the outside she was the same Lily she had always been, but she now seemed rather oblivious to everything going on around her. She no longer smiled happily and blushed when James said 'Morning Moonshine', nor did she act as enthralled when Alice read her Frank's latest love letter. Her smile always seemed half hearted now.

James noticed the change most, and it hurt him. He blamed himself for the change, but never said to anyone else why. Lily had not said a word about her father to anyone, not even Alice. Lily had established that Alice did not know about her father when she never said a word.

Hazel seemed to be the only one who could reach Lily. Hazel even made her smile the old smile, the smile that reached her eyes and was infectious to everyone around her. The two grew closer in the weeks following Lily's dad's death, although Lily had not told Hazel about it. Hazel did not mention the change in Lily; she had not known Lily as long as the others and did not notice it. Lily started to see Hazel not just in tutoring, but also outside the library. Lily even table hopped occasionally at meals, even though it was against the rules. She liked Hazel better than all her other friends. They went to the quiddich games together, the season had finally started.

Gryffindor played Ravenclaw in the first match of the season, and Lily and Hazel say together with Sirius. Hazel, laughingly, supported Gryffindor. When Lily asked her why, she told her that it was because she had no friends in her own house, and recently felt as if she liked people in Gryffindor better, as they were kinder to her.

Hazel was growing closer with Sirius too. He never missed a tutoring session at the library. She did not talk to him about his past girlfriends, and she did not talk to him about his pranks and trouble making. They talked about everything else, though. They talked about his family, her dad, the Dark Lord, as he had taken to calling himself. The newspapers all called him that too, or He Who Must Not Be Named. Every time Hazel referred to him by anything other than Voldemort, Sirius would get angry. He would tell her that by calling him by other names she was letting him win. Hazel just laughed at this and changed the subject.

He was growing fonder of her by the day, and she was warming up to him too. He was not the stupid, arrogant, prat she had first guessed him to be.

"Hey Hazel." Sirius said to her, plopping down in his usual seat in the library.

"Hey." She said, looking up at him through those big eyes he loved so much.

"What are you up to?" He asked.

"Nothing really, I was just finishing up this potions essay." She said, putting aside her quill and closing the inkpot.

"Well, I have something more interesting you can do." He told her.

"What's that?" She asked him.

"Come with me and you'll see." He said, pulling her to her feet and walking quickly out of the library.

"Sirius!" she squealed, grabbing her cloak off the back of her chair as she ran to keep up with his pace.

"Shh, quiet." He told her, stopping abruptly in a corridor. She crashed into his back; she had not been expecting his sudden halt.

"Where are we?" She said. They were on the fifth floor, standing in front of a mirror.

"Come on." He said, pushing the mirror to the side and revealing a large, spacious passageway.

"Where is this?" Hazel asked him, looking around in amazement as they walked.

"Just follow me and be quiet, we don't want Filtch on our tails." Sirius said, pulling her after him.

"This is Hogsmede." Hazel said as they exited the passage into the brightly lit street of Hogsmede.

"Good call." Sirius said, smiling at her.

"We shouldn't be here. This isn't a Hogsmede weekend." Hazel told him.

"You're beginning to sound like Lily." Sirius observed.

"Well Lily's right." Hazel said, stopping in her tracks and pulling back on her hand as he continued walking forward.

"I should have known better than to take a non Gryffindor into Hogsmede on a non Hogsmede weekend." Sirius said, shaking his head, but smiling all the same.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Hazel demanded, smiling back at him, but looking slightly skeptical of where this was going.

"It means you're not brave enough." Sirius said.

"I am so!" Hazel laughed.

"You're not."

"I am!" Hazel told him, stomping her foot.

"Prove it." Sirius said.

"I will." She said, running ahead of him up the street and into the center of town.

They spent an enjoyable afternoon wandering the streets of Hogsmede. It was cold and Hazel was glad she had thought to grab her cloak. She did not have any money with her, though, and Sirius bought her butterbeer.

They sat at a secluded table in the Three Broomsticks, talking about that first tutoring session that Sirius came to. They discussed what that chance meeting had led to, a friendship that neither one expected.

The rest of the afternoon passed too quickly, and before they knew it, it was time to return to the castle. Sirius led her back to the passage back to Hogwarts, and they reluctantly made their way back through the tunnel. When they reached the end of the passageway, Hazel was about to step out from behind the mirror when she felt the gentle pressure of Sirius's hand on her arm.

"Wait Hazel." Sirius said slowly.

"What is it?" Hazel asked, curious as to what he might say to her. Sirius didn't respond. He simply cradled his hand around the back of her head and kissed her timidly. Hazel was surprised at his hesitance. He did not seem to be the type who would be afraid of kissing someone.

She emitted a gasp of surprise, but then kissed him back passionately. The simple act of returning his kiss escalated into a full-fledged make-out session. Hazel was surprised at herself; she had never kissed anyone before. She didn't know what had made her brave enough to kiss him back, but she was glad she did.

Obviously experience didn't matter, as she was now pinned against the wall of the passageway, her hands playing with his hair. Sirius just had that power over her. She felt his warm touch moving up the newly exposed skin of her back, but pulled away from him. Although she liked him, she wasn't ready to go that far. She didn't want to be another one of his conquests and she didn't feel comfortable doing that with him just yet.

"What's wrong?" Sirius asked her.

"No, not yet. I need time," she whispered breathlessly.

"Ok, anything," Sirius told her, stroking the side of her face gently. They left the passageway holding hands and smiling, Sirius escorted her back to the Ravenclaw tower, giddy with his success. She was about to say the password when Sirius pulled her back to him again.

Their fingers intertwined as he gave her one final kiss on the lips. As she turned to go, he called her back, saying, "Will you be my girlfriend, Hazel?"

"Of course" she replied, her face flushed. And with that, Sirius left, elated.

The next day Hazel was in potions when she realized that she had left her partially completed potions assignment in the library.

"I'm so sorry, professor" Hazel explained, "I left it in the library. I could run get it and bring it here. Or I could give it to you later." Hazel offered.

"The assignment was due during this class, Ms. Brooks. I will be marking that as a fail." Professor Inkbeat told her, turning back to the front of the class. Hazel was stunned. She had never missed an assignment before. The lowest mark she had ever received was an E. This was unacceptable. Hazel could not help but blame Sirius. It was his fault for distracting her, and luring her away from her homework.

The next night was a Tuesday, and she saw Sirius then. He arrived in the library as usual, and found Hazel at the table she always occupied. He bent forward to kiss her, but she pulled back.

"Not here, Sirius We can't do this in the library." Hazel told him.

"So let's go somewhere else." Sirius suggested.

"Sirius, tell me honestly, does being your girlfriend mean that all we'll do is make out?" Hazel asked.

"Only if that's what you want." Sirius said, winking. He personally hoped that that was what she wanted, although he did have to admit that he enjoyed her conversation as well.

"It's not. So why don't you sit and we can talk or do homework. So you have homework you need help with?" She asked.

"No, but I hear that you do." He said.

"What?" She asked, confused.

"Rumor has it that Hazel got a failing grade in potions." Sirius said. She blushed hotly, so everyone knew.

"That was your fault." She told him.

"Why?" He asked.

"Because you distracted me. I was doing my potions when you came and took me to Hogsmede, and then I never brought it back from the library. So it's your fault that I didn't have it to hand in." Hazel told him. He smiled, and then noticed that she was not smiling.

"I'm sorry." Sirius told her.

"You should be sorry. You know, I've never gotten a grade beneath Exceeds Expectations in my entire time at Hogwarts? And now I have a fail to my name. It takes three Outstandings to combat one fail, you know that right?" She asked.

"Yes, and I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you fail." Sirius said sheepishly. "But it was a fun distraction, wasn't it?" He asked, smiling.

"Yes." Hazel admitted, also smiling.

"Are you going to the quiddich game next weekend?" asked Sirius.

"Yes, I think so." Hazel told him.

"With whom?" he asked her.

"I'm not sure." Hazel said, looking up at him from under her fringe.

"Well, would you like to go with me?" Sirius asked.

"Sure. I'd love to." Hazel told him, smiling.

"Very good," Sirius said, excited. To be sure, they had gone to the last quiddich game together, but now they were going as boyfriend and girlfriend, which was totally different.

"Will Lily come with us?" Hazel asked. Sirius frowned, that was a good question.

"You can ask." He said, half heartedly. It would be awkward if she were to come, she would be a third wheel on their date.

"Lily!" Hazel called across the library, earning an irritated look from Madam Pince. As Hazel turned away from him, Sirius made frantic hand motions, indicating that Lily should decline.

"Yes?" Lily asked, looking up. She was tutoring a third year Hufflepuff boy.

"Want to come to the quiddich with me and Sirius?" Hazel asked.

"No thanks, thanks anyway though." she said. Hazel thought that she saw her look at Sirius. Hazel turned suspiciously to look at Sirius, but he was looking just the same as before she had turned. She narrowed her eyes, but then returned to the task at hand.

"So, you don't have any homework you need to do?" Hazel asked.

"Not really, but I have some I can do, and you can help me with it if you like." Sirius offered. Hazel smiled.

"Sirius, that is what we're supposed to be doing." Hazel told him. "What did you think I meant when I said do you have homework you want to do?"

"I don't know. When you said want I was a little thrown off." He told her. She laughed. They spent the evening talking, laughing, and doing homework, much to Sirius's chagrin.

Lily was exhausted from tutoring. Harvey, the third year Hufflepuff she had been helping, was not the brightest of pupils. He was nice, but not very academic.

Lily went through the rest of her week in the same tiredness and fatigue that she was experiencing now. It was because of her fatigue that she did not exercise the same caution she normally did before going to sleep on Friday night. She was so exhausted from her long week, that she did not heed Dumbledore's continual warnings. Dumbledore had told her that she should be building defenses every night before sleep, so that no one would be able to infiltrate her thoughts in the night. He had warned her of this when she had enthusiastically told him that she was beginning to see things again. She had had a dream about what breakfast would be, and had actually predicted an entire conversation between herself and Janette while asleep.

But tonight she was too tired to think of it, so she went to sleep defenseless.

Lily woke up and ran down the stairs to the common room. She did not know why but something was looming over her. She felt scared that something had gone terribly wrong. She looked for James, but he was nowhere to be found.

"Sirius, where's James?" She demanded.

"Quiddich I suppose." He told her. "That's where he should be at least." Lily did not take the time to respond, she just ran out of the portrait hole and down to the quiddich pitch. James was not there. She counted the brooms above her, but there were only six.

"James!" She cried out.

"He's not here, Lily. He never turned up." Fabian Prewett called to her from the air. Lily turned and ran back up to the castle, not knowing where to go next. She ran to the dinging hall, but it was deserted.

"James!" She called out, running into the library.

"He's not here, Lily." Hazel told her.

"Have you seen him?" She asked quickly.

"No, I haven't. I don't know where he is." Hazel told her. Lily ran out of the library and back outside.

Everything had suddenly turned dark; she could not differentiate between ground and sky. She spun around, looking for James, but could not find him.

Then she saw him, tied and bleeding. She cried out, falling to her knees. She heard a cackle of laughter and saw herself surrounded by tall, dark, cloaked and hooded figures in masks.

"Where am I? Who are you?" Lily demanded of the nearest hooded figure.

"Welcome to muggle London, Lily. You're in the strip mall, and we have your little friend here." There was another cackle of laughter at that.

"Let him go." Lily ordered, tears trickling out of her eyes and onto her cheeks.

"Oh, that won't be possible I'm afraid. Not unless you agree to work for us, that is." said the cloaked figure.

"Never!" she declared.

"Then you can watch him die the slow way." Said the man, raising his wand and pointing it at James's tied figure.

"Wait, what do you want? I'll do anything you want. Don't hurt James. Please." Lily implored of the cloaked figures, turning to look at the different people now circling around her. There was laughter, growing louder by the second.

Lily woke up in a cold sweat, her pillow wet with her tears.

"James." Was the first thing she said as her eyes fluttered open. "I have to find James" she told herself, getting out of bed quickly. She did not even take the time to change out of her pajamas, but instead ran down to the common room. "Sirius, where's James?" Lily asked breathlessly of Sirius, who was sitting in front of the fire talking to Remus and Peter.

"Quiddich I suppose. That's where he should be at least." Sirius told her, looking surprised to see her looking for James so desperately, still clad in night clothes. "Why?" He called after her, but she was gone, sprinting down to the quiddich pitch. This was the same thing that had happened in her dream. He couldn't be gone, he just couldn't be.

"James!" She called, looking up at the figures in the air as she arrived at the pitch, trying to count them quickly, but they were all flying too fast and she could not keep track of who she had counted already.

"Yes?" came James's familiar voice.

"You're here!" Lily called out, so happy to see him and to hear his voice that she did not bother to check the tears that were falling down her face.

"Where else would I be, silly?" James asked, flying down to the ground to meet her. "What's wrong Lily?" He asked, holding out his arms for her to come to him. She ran across the pitch and wrapped her arms around his back. He staggered under her weight, but then regained his balance, holding her in his arms for a long moment as she attempted to regain her composure. "What happened Lily?" asked James, stroking her hair gently, trying to sooth her.

"I had a dream; it was only a dream though." Lily told him, happy that it only had been a dream and nothing more.

"What was the dream?" he asked, curious.

"You were gone; I needed to make sure you were here." She told him, incoherently.

"Of course I'm here, where else would I be?" James asked, surprised.

"Kidnapped"

"Who would kidnap me?" he asked reasonably.

"Voldemort" Lily mumbled. When she said it out loud, it sounded ridiculous.

"Why would I be kidnapped by Voldemort?" James asked, not laughing at her as she had thought he would.

"Because I had a dream that you were gone, and then they had you tied up, and they were hurting you. They told me that if I didn't do what they said they would kill you slowly and painfully." Lily told him, her tears renewing their course down her face.

"And what did you say?" James asked, tilting her head back and wiping the tears away with his thumb. He sounded curious rather than concerned for her sanity.

"I told them that I would, of course." Lily told him, confused. She felt him tighten his grip around her waist, and somehow knew that he was smiling.

"Lily, you don't need to worry about that. I'm here, and I'm always going to be here. You have nothing to worry about." James told her, releasing her from his hug and directing her up to the castle. "Just...practice," he told the team over his shoulder as he walked away.

"You don't have to come, I'm sorry. I was being stupid. It was just a nightmare. Don't interrupt your practice just for me." She said, walking ahead of him a little bit.

"I want to" he said simply, following just behind her.

James left her in the common room and returned to quiddich practice. Lily went back up to her room, feeling foolish, and took a shower, putting on fresh clothes afterwards. There was a quiddich game that afternoon, and Lily was going with Alice. Sirius and Hazel were going together, much to Lily's amusement.

She was wearing jeans and a red Gryffindor sweater to show her support for the team. This was one of the biggest matches this year as Gryffindor was playing Slytherin.

The match was that afternoon, so Lily still had a morning to kill. Lily went down to the quiddich pitch with Alice after lunch, looking forward to the match. She watched as the two teams came onto the pitch, but did not see James. She was surprised to see Alan Blackwood as the seeker instead of James. Others also noticed his absence with much displeasure, but no one knew where he was. There were many who voiced the opinion that Gryffindor would not be able to win without James Potter. Lily was just surprised that he wasn't there.

She excused herself to Alice, claiming that she felt ill, and went up to the castle. Maybe he was tired? Or perhaps he had had an accident and was in the hospital wing. She first went to Gryffindor tower, but could not find him. The entire tower was empty, everyone was at the match. Maybe James was watching the match. She had not thought of that.

She went to check in the hospital wing next, but he was not there either. She looked in the library, but it was deserted. The only other thing she could think of was Dumbledore.

She went to the gargoyles and said the password.

"Sugar Quill" she said and then took the moving steps two at a time. "Professor." She gasped as she reached his office.

"Lily? I'm surprised to see you here and not at the quiddich match. What's wrong?" He asked her, looking up from his desk.

"It's James, he's not playing and I can't find him anywhere." Lily said, pacing back and forth across the room.

ÒI see. Where have you looked?" He inquired.

"The tower, the hospital wing, the library, everywhere I could think of." She told him, still trying to catch her breath.

"When was the last time you saw him?"

"This morning" Lily told him, and then gasped in sudden realization. She knew where he was. "Professor, I think I know where he might be." She then proceeded to tell him about her dream, telling him about everything that the death eaters had told her, and about James's cuts and bruises.

"If that is the case then you cannot go." He said at last.

"What do you mean I cannot go?" Lily demanded. "Of course I'm going." She told him.

"You can't, not if it's a trap." Dumbledore told her.

"But James could be hurt." Lily said.

"And we will deal with that in the appropriate ways." Dumbledore told her. "I assure you everything will be fine, why don't you return to the game?" He suggested, looking away from her.

Lily, fuming, marched out of the office. How could he tell her just to forget it? Just to let him handle it? Look where letting him handling it had gotten her last time! She was now down one father. And she was not about to lose James. Lily made up her mind in a second, she would do it herself.

She would go to muggle London by herself if she had to. She knew where they were, in some deserted strip mall. It shouldn't be too hard to find...She swallowed with fear. Where are you now James? She asked her head. You said you'd always be there if I needed you, well, I need you now.

Lily did not know how she would get to London. She did not know either how James had gotten there. Then only thing she could think of was a broomstick, but London was far, and she would have to fly high to avoid being seen. That would be scary. She did not know if she could handle flying all that way that high up.

She returned to Gryffindor tower to get her cloak and leave a note for Alice and Holly in case she was to die. Then she remembered the cloak that she had given James. The invisibility cloak, of course. Why had it taken her so long to think of it? She ran up to James's room and rummaged through his trunk in search of the cloak. She was ready now; all she needed was the broom.

She put the cloak on and snuck down the stairs and out into the corridor. She went down to the quiddich pitch, noting with pleasure that Gryffindor was up 20 points to zero. She went into the locker room and looked around for the brooms. She had no idea where they would be kept. She saw a closet in the corner and went over to it, thinking it looked promising. She pulled on the handle of the door, but it was locked.

"Alohamora!" she said, pointing at the lock with her wand. Perfect, she thought as the door swung open revealing James's broom. She recognized it from that summer.

She went back outside, holding the broom under the invisibility cloak. She did not need to worry about people seeing her though, even if she had been visible, because Slytherin had just scored and everyone's attention was on the game. She mounted the broom, her hands shaking with fear.

She kicked off into the air, speeding up and up. From her high vantage point she could see pretty far in the distance. She flew in the direction of Hogsmede and saw the Hogwarts express. It was not now moving, but she could follow the tracks to London. She congratulated herself on the thought, and took off.

It took a while to get there, and Lily was cold after the first few hours.

Muggle villages began to pop up here and there, and pretty soon the buildings grew larger. She was over the outskirts of London now, and was still flying fast. Now she would have to find the strip mall from her dream. She started by Kings Cross and worked her way out. She passed a few, but none looked too promising as they were all in crowded places. She would need to find somewhere deserted and dark. At last she found one that looked promising not too far from Kings Cross to the north. She landed the broom and hid it behind a bag of garbage. She crept, hidden by the invisibility cloak, into the nearest building. It was quiet and dark, but she thought she heard voices in the distance. She picked her way around empty shelves and upturned garbage cans until she reached the very back of the room. She was now upon the source of the noise.

"She'll come, never fear. The dream should have reached her last night. It's surprising that she hasn't arrived before now." Said a harsh, gruff voice that she saw was coming from a large beefy man. "Unless Dumbledore got involved." Snarled a second man.

"Shut it, don't say that name. You know He doesn't approve of that, and unless you want to upset him you'll watch your tongue." Said the first voice.

"Don't tell me what to do." The second man replied angrily. "Watch what you say then. Just keep a watch for the girl. He won't be pleased if she gets in without him being alerted." The first man said, casting a contemptuous look at the first. Lily crept around the two arguing man and walked down the corridor they were watching. She felt that she must be getting close. Those men were dressed the same way as the men in her dream, with black cloaks, hoods, and masks. She walked only a short way down the corridor before she reached the room from her dreams. It was large, and round, and containing several cloaked men.

"Quiet Knot, you don't know what you're talking about." Said one man. His chin, which was all that Lily could see of his face, was full of pot marks.

Lily almost let out a gasp of surprise when she saw James tied in a corner. His eyes were open, and his gaze was darting around the room. ÒI just wanted to have a little bit of fun with him, Augustus.

"What's the point in just tying him here? Why can't we just have a little bit of fun?" Complained the man addressed as Knot, gesturing towards James.

"You know the plan, now stick with it. We wait here, we don't do anything to the boy, and when the girl shows up we alert the dark lord, why is that so hard for you?" Augustus said, his lip curling as he approached Knot, his fist raised.

"I just wanted to have a little bit of fun." The smaller man whined, backing away from Augustus.

"You'll have plenty of fun before long, don't you trust the dark lord? Remember all those muggles? You'll have much more like that, and better. Just wait until we come out in the open in the wizarding community! Then we can use our powers on mudbloods too!" Augustus cried out, obviously excited with the prospect of having 'fun' with muggles and half blood wizards.

Lily had heard enough, she needed to get out of here with James, and soon. She waited until the men had drifted away from James before going up to him. She went very close to him and whispered in his ear for him to be quiet.

"Hush James, it's me. I'm here to save you. Don't say a word. I'm going to untie your hands." Lily whispered hurriedly, fumbling with the rope.

"Where are you?" He whispered out of the corner of his mouth. He was barely even speaking, Lily only heard him because her ear was mere centimeters from his mouth.

"I borrowed your cloak." She told him, still trying to free his hands. She thought she heard him emit something like a chuckle, but she could not tell for sure. She finally freed him from the knot, and watched as he wiggled his fingers, bringing the blood back into them. "Come under the cloak, then we'll have to run and put as much distance between us and them as we can before they notice." Lily whispered. James stretched out his hands behind him, trying to find her.

He did, and he put the cloak over him too, now he could see her. He smiled, although she could tell that he was in pain.

"Come quickly so we can get you to the hospital wing." Lily said, walking away hurriedly. James did not argue. He followed her on tiptoes so that he would not make any noise.

They exited the room and were in the short hallway. They had just passed the two big men Lily had seen earlier when they heard shouts behind them. Lily tensed her muscles and sped up, knowing that they could not see her.

James, thinking quickly, pulled her flat against the wall. "We have to run!" She hissed.

"No, we'll never out run them. They can't see us, be quiet now." James said, putting a hand over her mouth. She did not even breath for as long as she could, and when she did it was as quietly as possible. She pushed herself as far into the wall as she could, trying to make herself small. After a few moments the death eaters, for that was what they were, started running down the hall. There were ten of them at least, including the two big ones who had been at he door.

"How did you let him escape? You idiot!" The man called Augustus screamed, sprinting ahead of the others. "You two, go that way, you two, down that hallway, you two, search the lot outside, you two, north, you, come with me." He barked, running outside. Lily and James stood still for several minutes after the death eaters had left. "Let's go." James whispered in her ear. They walked the rest of the way down the hall until they were outside where Lily had come in. "How did you get here?" James asked her, looking around and taking in his surroundings.

"I borrowed your broom too." Lily told him, leading him to where she had hid it.

"I see." He said, smiling at her. He mounted the broom, and she got on behind him, gripping his waist tightly. "What happened to being afraid of heights?" He asked as they became airborne.

"Some things are more important that my fears." Lily told him simply. He sped up.

"How did you find me?" he asked.

"I followed the train tracks to London and then just looked for dark, deserted strip malls. This was the first one I found" Lily explained.

"Did Gryffindor win?" James asked.

"I'm not sure. They were winning when I left." Lily told him. "When did you leave?" he asked her.

"When you didn't come onto the field." She told him.

"Does Dumbledore know that you're here?" James demanded suddenly, turning his head so that he could see her face.

(Author's Note: Here's where the cutoff was last time)

"No. He told me not to come, he said it was too dangerous." Lily said.

"Does anyone know that you're here?" James asked.

"Well, I left a note for Alice and Holly." Lily told him.

"Lily, you could have been killed." James told her.

"Well, you could have too." She said irritably. He did not respond to that.

"My turn to ask questions." Lily told him.

"Okay," James said hesitantly.

"How did they get you?" Lily asked first.

"I had to go into Hogsmede and the two big ones grabbed me. They jumped on me and held me down. They had this port key and it took us there." James told her.

"Why were you in Hogsmede?" Lily demanded.

"I was getting some sweets." James confessed.

"James! How many times have I told you not to go into Hogsmede? Talk about fool hardy! And there you sit telling me I could have been hurt when you're running off to Hogsmede on non Hogsmede weekends when you don't have parental consent to ever be there." Lily said loudly. James shushed her.

"I'm sorry. The candies were for you, you know." James told her. She stopped talking. She just sat there, not knowing what to say.

"What did they do to you?" She asked at last.

"They tied me up, they one of them shot the curciatis curse at me, you know, the unforgivable one that Tonks was telling us about the other day? Well it hurts more than he said." James told her.

"Oh James." Was all she said. She could feel him shaking a little from the memory and squeezed him tighter. This was all her fault. He shouldn't have to be in this position. "James, I'm so sorry. This is all my fault." Lily told him.

"Don't ever say that, Lily. This isn't your battle, it's all our battles." James told her, placing one of his hands over hers. They were flying high and fast, and it was cold. It was also growing dark. Lily was uncomfortable and sore, she did not know how James enjoyed playing quiddich, because sitting on a broom for long periods of time was awful.

The towns had long since disappeared and they were now flying over mountains and hills. They flew over some large empty fields and a few lakes. There was a large forest that it took almost half an hour to fly over at one point. Lily placed her head on James's back, and felt his muscles tense. She sighed with tiredness and allowed her eyes to close. She knew that James would not let her fall. Lily fell into the steady rhythm of flight and was asleep in no time.

"Lily, wake up." James said, tapping her gently.

"What? What time is it?" She asked.

"Late, we're almost back at school. I can see the castle from here. I thought you would want to wake up." James told her. "It's beautiful," he told her. She blinked a few times, acclimating herself to the darkness. There were stars out and the moon was almost full. In a few days it would be. The moon was right above the castle, partially blocked by the tallest tower. Most of the windows were dark, although there were a few that were dimly lit. The lake was shimmering in the darkness, and the forest looked particularly dark and mysterious. It was magical.

Lily inhaled deeply, smelling the familiar Hogwarts scent. The fall was coming to an end, it was November now. She had been at Hogwarts for two months. The winter was approaching, and the weather was getting colder. She sighed, looking up at the stars. It was a beautiful night.

They touched down gracefully on the quiddich pitch. Lily was grateful to finally be able to cast off the invisibility cloak, she felt as if she had been wearing it for hours, which she had.

"Thank you for coming to rescue me." James said as they walked into the locker room to put his broom away.

"It's no problem." Lily said, embarrassed.

"No, I'm serious. Thank you. You could have died. And you even went on a broom." James said, turning and smiling at her. She smiled back.

"It wasn't so bad." She told him. "Don't get me wrong, I'm not going out for the quiddich team or anything, but it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be." She said.

"You were really brave." He told her, admiration in his voice as he turned the lock.

"I wasn't that brave." She denied bashfully.

"But you were." He insisted.

"Enough of this. Just promise me you won't go into Hogsmede and then we'll take you up to the hospital wing." She said, looking at him expectantly.

"Okay" he agreed. Lily took that to mean that he promised, although he had not actually said the words. She was too tired to realize that he had eluded her purpose.

They went up to the hospital wing, fortunately not meeting any unfriendly teachers on the way. Madam Pomfrey was asleep when they arrived, but a moment of pounding on the door and she was there, wearing her nightgown and a hairnet.

"What's happened to you?" She demanded, looking at James's cuts and taking in his bruises.

"Just a few scrapes." He insisted as she took him into the hospital wing and sat him on a bed. She then began bustling around, asking questions and pouring potions into glasses.

"Lily, go tell Dumbledore what's happened." James directed. "He has to know." James told her when he saw her rebellious look.

"Why don't you go?" She asked.

"Because I have to stay here." He explained patiently.

"Can't we go tomorrow?" She asked, unwilling to go and tell Dumbledore that she had disobeyed him.

"No, he needs to know now." James said firmly.

"But he'll be angry. I don't want to go alone. And he'll have questions for you too." Lily told him, trying to think of any excuse not to go.

"Lily, you need to tell him eventually, and better sooner than later. If you like you can come back here after you told him and tell me all about it." James offered.

"You're sure you can't come?" Lily asked.

"I'm sure." James told her. "Besides, it'll be more dramatic if you go alone. Maybe he'll think I've died. Then won't he be worried!" James said, elated. "maybe I should go alone, have him think that you're dead. Wouldn't he just have a heart attack?" James asked, laughing, but then clutching his stomach in pain. Apparently laughing hurt him.

"James Potter, you sit right there and get fixed. They obviously damaged your mind when they tortured you." Lily told him, leaving him alone.

She made her way to Dumbledore's office unwillingly. She really did not want to tell him what she had done. He would be very angry with her, she was sure. To her surprise, he did not yell. His only reaction to her story was to stroke his beard.

"Well?" Lily asked after a moment of his silence.

"Well, I expected it" he said. "You would not be a Gryffindor if you had not gone." He said simply. "I expected you to go." He told her. He had expected her to go? What was he saying? How could he possibly have expected it? But then again, Dumbledore had made her think in the past that he had a good idea of everything that was going on at Hogwarts. And he did have the gift of reading minds, he had probably sensed her plan before she had even realized it herself.

"So...you're not mad?" She asked, confused.

"No. It was foolish of you to go alone, but you're both safe, so why would I be mad?" Dumbledore asked, appearing amused. "What did the Mistress of Magic say when you told her?" Lily asked after a pause.

"She said that it was just a dream, and nothing to worry about. She insisted that it was nothing to go around fretting over, and that she had no doubt that James Potter would turn up eventually. She suggested that perhaps we had not searched thoroughly enough. I honestly do not know what goes on in her head." Dumbledore said, putting his head in his hands and running his fingers through his whitening hair. Lily looked at him sympathetically. It must be difficult for him, she realized. "You should be getting off to bed." He told her. "It sounds as if you've had quite the long day."

Lily did not, however, go straight to bed. She stopped at the hospital wing. James was gone, and Madam Pomfrey had gone back to sleep. Lily, not wanting to wake her up again for the second time in one night, went back to Gryffindor tower.

James was sitting in the common room, waiting for her to return. "Madam Promfrey healed all my scratches." James commented.

"I see that." Lily said. "You told me to come back to the hospital wing after meeting with Dumbledore. Way to leave" she said.

"Sorry, I-" James stopped when he saw that she was smiling. He grinned back. "She fixed me, and I didn't see a point in staying and keeping her awake." James concluded.

"Well, that was very thoughtful of you." Lily said. "I'm going up to bed." She said. James did not stop her, much as he wanted to. He wanted to kiss her so badly, to thank her over and over again, to hold her in his arms, mostly just to kiss her senseless. But he didn't. He thought she would be mad if her were to do so. Instead he let her walk up to the dormitory to sleep. He would have to be contented to be her friend. But if that was all she would let him be, he would be the best friend she had ever had.

Author's Note: Okay, so I hope you liked that. I am sooo sorry for leaving you all hanging like that! It cut off the chapter midway through. There were like three pages left…I thought I had posted them but apparently not. I have no idea what happened, but I am so sorry! And I apologize if some of you had to re-read stuff…Anyway RR and I have the next few chappies ready for posting, so expect them soon. I'll post again at 100 reviews, how's that?


	16. Pranksters

**Authors Note: Okay, well I hope you are enjoying the story thus far. It's gonna get pretty fun soon, fun to write that is. I hope it's equally fun to read. Just a teaser, Lily goes to James's over Christmas due to circumstances beyond her control, and we get a good look at Hazel's home life. That part will probably be pretty boring to read, sorry, I just felt that it needed to be said in order to know her character better. And also if you will all recall, there was a situation with Sirius trying to kill Severus in the sixth year- you'll get to observe the reasoning/results/a different version of what happened in that situation. That'll be coming soon. And I'm thinking I might delve into Remus's home life/Christmas holidays/love life. (his love life will start existing relatively soon, lots of angst about to tell her that he's a werewolf or not, etc.) Anyway, leave me reviews about what you want to happen in that respect.**

**I know that I said I would post again when I had 100 reviews...and I don't, sadly. I only have 95. But I couldn't help but post. It doesn't seem as if anyone out there in the cyber world is stillreading my story, but for the few people who are...here's the next chapter. **

Chapter 16

Pranksters

James would have been the best friend she had ever had, too, if she had let him. But she could not be satisfied with that. Lily, as usual, had to stir things up. It was not, however, entirely Lily stirring the pot, it was also partially James's fault.

It had started in potions the week before, and had escalated from there. James could not help but be the center of attention. That was who he was, and what he liked to be. He had always been that way. Lately, though, he had been taking it a bit far in Lily's mind. He had started pranking people just so that people would notice. He would hex people, especially Slytherins, just for a good laugh. Lily had seen him at it. He would be walking down a corridor and see someone from Slytherin, his favorite subjects were Lucious Malfoy and Severus Snape, and would hex them randomly with his wand behind his back, causing everyone in the hall to burst into raucous laughter.

Well, everyone but Lily. James was always disappointed when his antics failed to amuse Lily. He only ever did them to make her laugh. She seemed so down lately, something was getting at her. James thought it was that she worked too hard and didn't have enough fun. Her only free night a week was Saturday, which she spent doing homework. So James, in an attempt to cheer her, had started acting out in front of her. In the past he had always tried to limit his displays to times when she would not be around, knowing her tendency to call teachers, but he felt that now that they were friends and all she would be more able to appreciate his hilariousness.

One day in potions Lily was particularly gloomy. She was stirring her potion glumly, not really paying attention when James whistled at her, trying to get her attention. She looked over at him in time to see him mutter "Furnunculus" under his breath, pointing his wand at the cauldron of Dolahov and McNare. Their potion shimmered for a moment and then went back to its normal color. She watched in horror as he did the same to the potions of all the other Slytherins in the class. None of them seemed to notice. Today they were making a wit-sharpening potion, and at the end of class they would be testing them. Lily did not know what James had just done to the potions of all the Slytherins, but she was sure that it was not something good. She looked at him suspiciously as the class drew to a close.

"All right, everyone pour your potions into a glass, you will all be drinking your potions and then answering a question to test if your wits are sharper." Professor Inkbeat told them. Lily and Holly poured their potions into glasses, preparing to drink. "Gryffindors first." Professor Inkbeat announced, approaching Lily's table. "Ms. Evans, would you care to be our first tester?" She asked, looking somewhat menacing. Lily, however, was not scared. She knew that they had made the potion perfectly.

"Sure professor." Lily said, smiling brightly and taking a long sip of her potion.

"Tell me the key ingredient of an anti-poison potion." Professor Inkbeat asked. Lily could have answered the question without the potion, of that she was sure. They had learned about anti-poison potions in the second year.

"Bezoar Stone of Goat." Lily said, feeling a chill rush down her entire body. She felt cool and calm, most likely the effects of the potion. She somehow felt smarter.

"Very good, full marks on your potion." Professor Inkbeat said, moving on to the next table. She went to Caroline and Janette's table next. Caroline fumbled over the ingredients of a sleeping potion, and she and Janette were deducted points. Professor Inkbeat smiled triumphantly as she made her way around to all the Gryffindor tables, asking increasingly difficult questions. Not everyone managed to answer them correctly.

"Mr. Black." She said, approaching Sirius and James's table, hands on hips.

"Yes?" He asked innocently.

"List for me the ingredients of a shrinking solution." She said, smiling maliciously, she was apparently certain that Sirius would mess up.

"Caterpillar, daisy roots, leech juice, rat spleen, and shrivel fig, professor." Sirius said, standing up straight. Lily would have been positive that this was solely the potion talking, if it weren't for the wink that he gave her after his recitation.

"Very good, five points to Gryffindor." Professor Inkbeat said, although she did not sound too pleased. Now she had finished the Gryffindors and was moving on to the Slytherins. She arrived at Vincent and Gregory's table first. "Perhaps you can tell me the ingredients of a sleeping potion, Mr. Goyle. Go ahead, drink your potion." She directed, gesturing toward the brownish colored liquid. It was meant to be red and thin, whereas Vincent and Gregory's was brown and thick, with large chunks of something floating around in it. Lily cringed at the sight. She was reasonably sure that theirs would have been wrong without James's help. Gregory lifted the cup of liquid to his mouth and took a sip. He immediately burst out into large boyles that were oozing puss. "Hospital wing. Now." She ordered as he screamed.

She then moved on to Severus and Lucious. When Lucious swallowed a gulp of his potion, which was at least the correct color and consistency, he also burst into large, puss filled boyles. Professor Inkbeat looked taken aback. She ordered him to the hospital wing as well and made her way to the rest of the students. All of them broke out into large boyles as soon as they took a sip, losing points for their house and earning a trip to the hospital wing, as well as a failing grade. Professor Inkbeat grew increasingly more panicked as she went to table after table, only to be greeted by screaming girls and hollering boys, all clutching their faces and their stomachs, along with anywhere else infected by the boyles.

"What has happened?" She shrieked, putting her hands to her hair and looking a little crazed. "Who did this? What did you do?" She demanded, looking around at all of the Gryffindors. The bell rang a moment later, freeing all of them. Lily looked behind her to see Professor Inkbeat running from one contaminated potion to the other, wild eyes and pulling at her hair, muttering under her breath. As soon as they had left the classroom there were outbursts of laughter from the Gryffindors, who all received dirty looks from the remaining Slytherins.

"Did you see Malfoy? That was priceless!" Sirius yelled above the laughter, clapping James on the back. "Oh no, my perfect face is ruined! What will mummy say?" Sirius mimicked in a voice of mock horror, clutching at his face in an imitation of Lucious's expression. It was actually reasonably accurate.

Lily looked at Holly, who was walking next to her, and saw her fists balled up, her face flushing. Lily was puzzled. Why would she care what Sirius said about Lucious? But perhaps it was just the fact that people were laughing at Sirius when she hated him so much that was getting to her. Lily looked away again.

"I'm going to go to the hospital wing." Holly said suddenly. Lily looked over at her again, puzzled.

"Why?" She asked.

"I feel a little head achy. Nothing too serious, I just want to see what Madam Pomfrey can give me is all." Holly excused, walking quickly up the corridor.

"Wasn't that the funniest thing you ever saw, Lily?" Sirius asked her, still guffawing.

"Oh yes, simply hilarious." Lily said sarcastically. Sirius did not pick up on the sarcasm, however, and thought that she was serious.

"It was all James's idea too, wasn't that clever of him?" Sirius asked her. Lily looked at James in horror. He looked away, blushing.

"No, it wasn't. It was stupid." Lily said, marching away.

"What was that all about?" Sirius asked.

"She doesn't like pranking I suppose." James explained. "Remember, Lily follows rules." James told him.

"How dull." Sirius said, shaking his head.

"Maybe, but now you've gotten her all riled up." James told him, running to catch up with Lily. "Lily, wait." James called to her, catching up. "Sorry, I know you hate pranks." James told her.

"No, really, it's fine. You do what you want to do. I don't care." Lily told him.

"You do care." He argued.

"I don't. Why do you think I care? Why would I care about what you do?" She demanded.

"Because you do and you know it. You can't stand not being in charge. So yell at me. Tell me I'm an idiot so that we can both get on with our lives." James said back, equally riled up.

"Is that what you think I want to do? You think I like being a bossy goodie goodie who always follows rules?" Lily demanded, still walking quickly away from him.

"You must, otherwise you wouldn't do it." James told her, walking beside her.

"Well you're wrong. We can't all always do everything we want, Mr. Potter. The world doesn't work that way, and you're going to have to learn that one day." Lily told him.

"You don't have to do anything you don't want to do." James informed her.

"Yes, I do. And you will too one day." She told him.

"Why? Why do you have to do anything you don't want to? Who's making you?" James asked her.

"No one is making me. My goals are making me. I'm making me. Not all of us think that the world is a huge joke. You'll have to grow up some day." Lily told him, looking at him with a stormy gaze.

"Why? What do you have against my bending the rules?" James asked her.

"You know what, if you want to get killed, go ahead." Lily told him.

"Who's going to kill me for playing a few practical jokes?" James asked laughingly, shewas definitely over reacting.

"I don't know, but someone did the last time you broke the rules." Lily told him.

"When?" James asked incredulously, she was kidding, right?

"When you went into Hogsmede." Lily told him. James did not try to follow this time. He just stood in the hall and allowed everyone else to file around him. She was right. _'That shouldn't come as a total shock to you, James. Lily is usually right about everything. So that's what she had against him breaking rules, she thought he would die...but that was hardly likely. But, then again, it hadn't been likely the first time either. Maybe she had a point. But playing a harmless joke on a bunch of half witted Slytherins was hardly life threatening.' _James shrugged it off, deciding that Lily was crazy. He would just let her cool down and then go back to being her friend again. She just needed some time.

This, however, did not turn out to be the case. She was giving him the cold shoulder now more than ever. Whenever he spoke to her she would turn away and talk over him to someone else. James liked to tell himself at night when he contemplated her hatred of him that it was because she was trying to protect him. He even occasionally managed to convince himself that, in her mind, being his friend would get him hurt again. His more sensible half, however, the half that kept him awake at night thinking about it, knew that it was because she no longer liked him.

James Potter, king of the quiddich pitch, was hated by Lily Evans. It was hard to bear, really. The only people who really hated him were Slytherins, and on quiddich days Ravenclaws or Hufflepuffs, depending on who was playing. But he had never expected to be hated by a Gryffindor. It didn't seem fair. Everyone else loved him. He had more admirers than he knew what to do with. Now that everyone hated Slytherin, James was their hero. He was well known for hexing Slytherins, and he was infamous for his pranks during classes. He had never lost Gryffindor a match, either. He never failed to lead the team to victory every year that he was on the team, and this year he was captain too. He could not honestly believe that Lily hated him. It was impossible.

Once he had himself convinced that it was because she was fighting her true feelings for him that she was so cold. The next morning he went down to breakfast and gave her as cheery a smile and wave as he could, saying loudly 'Morning Moonshine.' She had not even looked up.

James was depressed. He started acting out more than ever for her attention. He would speak loudly when she was around, and his jokes always became more entertaining when she could hear them. This, although it got him more attention from everyone else, failed to attract Lily's affections.

Slytherin was playing Ravenclaw in the last match before Christmas break, and Lily was going. James, although he was not playing, was determined to get Lily to notice him. This was not a very important match. Since it was a while until the final cup, and there were still many games to be played, there was not a lot depending on this game.

Hazel and Sirius were going together, so James was left with the other two marauders. That name was now famous throughout the school as well. Whenever anyone wanted to refer to a recent prank, they would mention the marauders. If a chandelier collapsed, it was no longer Peeves who was thought of first, but the marauders.

So Alice and Lily would be there together, as would three of the four marauders. James had not yet decided what exactly he would do, but it would be good. She would notice him for sure. He would make her laugh yet.

It was an hour into the match and only three goals had been scored, all by Ravenclaw. The game was not very interesting. Well, it might have been had James been paying any attention to it. He could not keep him eyes off the red head sitting three rows diagonally in front of him. Lily would jump to her feet and cheer and laugh every time something happened in favor of Ravenclaw, and boo along with the rest of Gryffindor house whenever something happened that favored Slytherin. She and Alice were laughing and talking, and James saw for a moment a flash of the old Lily. The Lily he had known for so short a time before Voldemort. _'And before she started to hate you and think that you are a big prat' _James reminded himself. Slytherin scored, bringing the score to 30-10 in favor of Ravenclaw.

Then Gregory Goyle, who played on the team as a beater, smashed the quaffle out of the hands of the Ravenclaw chaser so that Rudolphus Lestrange could get hold of it. This was not technically a legal move, as beaters were only permitted to hit the bludgers, and three quarters of the stadium booed, and shouted foul. Ravenclaw was given a penalty shot and scored, making the score 40-10 with Ravenclaw in the lead.

And then, just as everyone was settling back into their seats, the Slytherin seeker, a younger student who James did not know, went into a dive. Even James had to admit, it was some pretty decent flying. He pulled out of it inches from the ground, the snitch in his hand. The crowd booed, but nothing could reverse it. Slytherin had won 160 to 40. The mass of green on the other end of the stadium from James went surging onto the field, cheering.

James felt un unquenchable desire to damped their spirits. It had not been that good of a game, after all. And it was not as if winning really did anything for them. Then, in a moment of brilliance, it came to him. James smiled, and looked at Remus. Best not to tell him his plan, perhaps, as he would likely not approve. James removed his wand from his pocket and whispered the incantation under his breath, pointing at the cheering mass of green.

"Serpensorcio." He said, waving his wand a little. Out of his wand tip burst a large snake, which went slithering into the crowd. James smiled as he saw the green mass part, screaming and waving their arms in the air. He grinned. He could see a bit of the serpent from here. He thought it very appropriate that he had conjured a snake. It was unlikely that anyone would suspect a Gryffindor. Probably passed off as some Slytherin, drunk with victory, casting a spell to boost moral and having the spell go sadly awry.

People ran, all moving in one direction- away from the snake. James, chuckling, mingled in with the fleeing crowd. He looked around for Lily, but couldn't see her. He was near the front, so she must be somewhere behind.

Lily was somewhere behind, in fact, she had not left at all. She had run in the opposite direction. She went straight at the snake, at the same time removing her wand from her robes. She brandished it in front of her, causing the snake to disappear. The field was practically deserted, save for a few people who had been trampled in everyone's rush to flee the snake. Lily sighed, turning back to the school. She was the only one who had actually stayed to help. She wanted to know who had been so irresponsible as to let a snake loose on the school. She had seen that snake, if it had bitten someone they would have been in the hospital wing for a week.

Lily made her way back to Gryffindor tower. She wanted to know who had conjured that snake so that she could yell at them long and loud. They had endangered other students by behaving in that fashion, and it had been senseless and irresponsible. But she did not have much hope of finding them. Chances were it was some Slytherin who thought they would show off to their friends and made a careless error with their wand. One wrong flick and anything could happen. Lily sighed, collapsing into a chair by the fire. She put her head in her hands and massaged her temples.

She did not know what she was going to do. The Slytherins and Gryffindors were just as bad now as they had been when term started. And Potter and her friends were not helping at all to make her work easier. As a prefect it was her duty to maintain order whenever possible, and she took her duties seriously. Her lessons with Dumbledore were becoming almost unbearable too. Although she was making great strides in her management of her powers, it was not any less difficult or draining. And she was lonely. She loved Hazel as a friend, of course, but it was difficult when they were not in the same house. There was no one who was always there to talk to. Alice, to be sure, was great, but she did not understand things the was Hazel did. She hated to admit it, but she missed James's friendship. Well, she missed the old James. She did not miss this new James who would do anything for attention or a laugh. She did not like or approve of the raucous, rowdy James Potter who thought he was the king of the world. He was constantly strutting around Hogwarts as if he owned it, looking down on everyone else and fueling the hatred between Gryffindor and Slytherin. Lily wished he would be more like his old self.

Something was interrupting Lily's quiet thinking. She looked up, and then chided herself for ever having expected it to be quiet in the common room. There was, as usual, a large group of people in one corner. She had no doubt as to who was in the center. The marauders, as they were now commonly referred to as, would be the ones in the middle, providing an endless source of entertainment of the bystanders. Lily walked past the group on her way up to the sixth year girl's dorm. She would be able to hear herself think there. She was on her way up when she heard someone speaking. The words were what caught her attention more than the voice.

"Nice bit of magic, Prongs." Came the squeaky voice of Peter Pettigrew. "Did you se their faces when that snake charged?" Peter asked.

"Yes, you'd think that since they all are snakes they'd be less frightened when they finally saw a real one." Sirius added in, after laughing heartily. Lily paused, turning, her front foot on the stairs. If only she had not heard that last sentence.

"It was incredible. Did you see how fast that celebration broke up? Never saw Snivelus run so fast in my life." James said, receiving claps on the back from several of the surrounding group.

"Wish I'd have been there when you did the spell, Prongs." Sirius said wistfully. Lily was pleased to see that Remus, at least, was not finding this as amusing as the rest of the group. Lily could not hold her tongue, she had to start a fight. But, in her defense, what he had done had been fool hardy and stupid. He could have seriously injured someone.

"Am I hearing correctly?" Lily asked, removing her foot from the stair and turning. The group broke up a little so that she and James were facing each other. "You are the one who cast that spell?" Lily asked.

"Pretty nice bit of magic, wasn't it?" Asked Sirius eagerly.

"Although it was undoubtedly a tricky spell, Mr. Black, it was also dangerous and stupid. Do you all realize that someone could have been really hurt back there?" Lily asked, knowing full well that she was sounding exactly like Professor Bluebell. "And I'm not talking about just Slytherins." She added when she saw Edgar Bones about to protest on James's behalf.

"Well, I'm sure the snake is gone by now. Someone probably got rid of it." James said, shifting in his seat.

"Are you sure of that?" Lily asked.

"Of course I am." James said, although he was not sure at all.

"Fortunately for you, I happen to know that you are right." Lily told him, still scowling.

"How do you know that?" James called after her as she turned to walk up the stairs again.

"Because I'm the one who got rid of it." Lily told him, marching up the stairs fuming. She was sure that she heard the sound of laughter behind her retreating back. She had gotten much better at controlling her temper lately. A few weeks ago she would have flown into a towering rage, but she had learned from experience that that rarely helped matters, and that it was much better to remain calm. What could she do to punish James? Giving him detention would not help matters, or make him learn. Neither would deducting house points. James didn't seem to care about anything except giving people a good laugh. Lily did not approve. Of course, she should have expected that it would be James who did it. His hatred of the Slytherins in the past weeks had mounted very high. He and his fellow marauders were doing nothing but causing trouble, and nothing seemed to help matters. The howler certainly had not made a difference, it had given him more attention, if anything. **Authors Note: You guys have passed the 200 page mark! This story is going to be sooo much longer than the last one. Not to mention it's so much better, isn't it? I think it is. Anyway, I've just realized that I'm over 100 pages past where you guys are, so expect fast updates! Providing you all review, of course. Wink wink. ;) Also, coming up, there are going to be some chapters over Christmas that might be a little boring, and I apologize for that in advance. I might try to make things a little more angsty, although I'm reeeally not very good at that...at all. I actually am really bad at it. I always get sad for my characters and make something good happen. Whenever I try to make them sad I fail. You'll probably see what I'm talking about in the chappie about Lily's Christmas...she's all mopey and stuff for no good reason and then all of a sudden...well I won't spoil it for you. Read on! **


	17. Going Home

Authors Note: Okay, so this chapter is another sort of filler chapter...but the one after this is so much fun to write...anyway coming up expect a lot more of the marauders. And in this next chapter you're about to read there's a conversation between Lily and Hazel about the whole Sirius thing...oh you don't know what the whole thing is yet, do you? Well expect some in this chapter! Yay! Haha, sorry, I love tormenting you all…aren't I cruel? Yes. Anyway, read! I hope you like it!

Chapter 17

Going Home

Lily was saved the energy it would take in punishing James by the arrival of Christmas break. She instead worried about her mother and Petunia and her father's death. She did not know if their memories had been modified, and if so how far back did the modification stretch? Did they know about her father's disappearance? Did they know about her father's death? And if their memories had not been modified, they would be mad at her. But if they had been modified, how much would they know? It would be a tricky balancing act on Lily's part. She was tempted to put her name down on the signup sheet and stay at Hogwarts. But she did not. She needed to go back to her family. And break started tomorrow. She did not know what she would do.

Sirius and Hazel

"So, it's almost Christmas time." Sirius told Hazel.

"Yes." She replied, not really paying attention. She was reading in the library, and Sirius was watching her.

"You know what that means?" He asked her.

"What?" She asked.

"That we'll have been together for two months. We'll miss our anniversary." He told her. She laughed.

"Sirius, you know that you can't have a two month anniversary, right?" She told him.

"Why not?" He asked.

"Because an anniversary is a date commemorating an event which happened on the same day a year ago. So you can't have a two month anniversary, because anniversaries are annual, they happen yearly, not monthly." Hazel explained.

"I love you Hazel." Sirius told her. He had not meant to say it. It had just slipped out. He had been feeling it for a while. At first he had not been sure what the feeling was, and had fought it. But every time he was in a room with her he felt bubbly and joyous. He loved being around her, and their relationship was not the same as any other he had ever had. He felt that she understood him. He knew that he loved her, and had given up fighting or denying it.

"What did you say?" She asked, looking up from her book at last, her usually rosy cheeks drained of all color. This was not at all how Sirius had imagined this going.

"I said that I love you." He told her.

"And...do you?" She asked him slowly, her face still pale. Her voice sounded odd. It was hollow and not her normal tone.

"Yes." He told her. "Do you love me back?" He asked hesitantly when she said nothing. Perhaps he should have kept his feelings to himself.

"Sirius, no. Of course I don't love you. I'm only 16, I can't possibly be in love." Hazel told him, standing and running from the library. That had not gone at all how he had pictured it.

Sirius sat for a while, head in hands, pondering what he should have done differently. He did not know. She was right, it was too soon. What had he been thinking? They had only been dating for two months, and they hadn't even done anything more than kiss. This was so wrong, and so out of character for Sirius. He could not believe that he had actually told her he loved her. He had never told a girl he loved her before. Not even his mother. Well who could really love his mother anyway? Certainly not anyone in their right mind. Perhaps Regulus, her perfect son.

Sirius sat, head in hands, at the library table for some time. He did not know what time it was, all he knew was that he was there until Madam Pince asked him to leave, saying that it was late and he should be in bed. Sirius, for the first time, did not know what to do next. He would not even get a chance to talk to Hazel, to explain, to win her back, because he would be away from her for two weeks. Maybe he would send her a lovely Christmas present. But maybe not, she might feel that he was trying to buy her. Or that he would not respect her and leave her alone. He really did not know what to do. All he knew is that he needed to talk to James about it, and would be telling him everything as soon as they arrived at the Potter's house. Sirius had never looked forward to a holiday more.

Lily had packed a small bag to bring home for the winter holidays. She clutched it close to her now as she approached the Hogwarts express. She was very nervous about seeing her mother and sister, more nervous than she liked to admit. She felt guilty about being nervous, but there it was.

"Lil, you okay?" Caroline asked, turning around from the top step. Lily smiled weakly, nodding. She did not feel okay. Two weeks was a long time. "Are you sure that you want to do this?" Caroline asked her for what felt like the fourth time that hour as they were walking down the corridor, looking for an empty compartment.

"Do what?" Lily asked, acting nonchalant.

"You know what I'm talking about, Lil. You know that you're always welcome to come to my house. I know Ben's going to be there, but he's practically a part of the family by now. It wouldn't be awkward at all, I promise." Caroline assured her.

"I know, Caroline. That's not why I can't come. This is just something I have to do, they're my family after all. I can't just abandon them." Lily explained for the tenth time that morning.

"Okay, I get it. Are you sure though?" Caroline asked again.

"Caroline! Just stop it, okay? I need to go, just drop it!" Lily said, pushing open the door to an empty compartment.

"All right, all right." Caroline said, holding up her hands in defeat. She pushed her bag under her seat with her foot and sighed, sinking into the red cushioning. Lily followed suit. "So, it's just us today." Caroline commented a few minutes later, breaking the silence.

"Mmm." Lily replied.

"Holly and Janette are staying at school, Alice is off with her other friends, I don't know where Ben got off to. Would it be okay if he sat with us later Lily? If he comes. He might be sitting with his friends, of course. I really don't know." Caroline said off handedly.

"Sure. I like Ben. I wouldn't mind." Lily replied. Caroline did not say anything else. She looked up at the ceiling with her eyes closed.

"Hey, is there space in here for me?" Lily looked up to see Alice standing outside their compartment.

"Of course!" Lily said quickly, before Caroline had had time to react. Caroline merely glared at Alice hatefully. Alice still had not reconciled herself with the other girls.

"Hi Caroline." Alice said slowly, smiling as brightly as she could when faced with Caroline's glare.

"Hello Alice." Caroline replied shortly, turning away. Alice and Lily traded a look that said 'I don't know...what now?'

"Caroline..." Alice said, but trailed off. It seemed that she did not really know what to say. "Look, don't be like that. It was a long time ago and I'm sorry." Alice said beseechingly, looking at Lily again for support.

"Lily?" Caroline asked, also looking at Lily for a reaction.

"Caroline...Alice and I have been friends for a while. Since the fall actually. But I didn't think it was my place to force you all to forgive her, or even to ask for her forgiveness. So don't ask me, this is between you two." Lily said, closing her eyes and turning towards to window.

"I'm sorry Caroline." Alice said again. In all honesty Lily was having a hard time remembering exactly what Alice was supposed to be apologizing for. It all seemed so irrelevant now. And it had happened such a long time ago. Just one more thing she could add to the list of things that she would be blaming on James. That wasn't really fair, of course, but there it was. If James hadn't kissed her that day, they never would have had a fight to begin with.

"I hardly even remember what we're fighting about, Alice! Of course I forgive you." Caroline told her, hugging her as a best friend again.

"So...how are things with you and Ben?" Alice asked.

"Great! Never better actually. He's coming home with me this weekend. What about you and Frank?" Caroline asked her, somewhat awkwardly. He had been her teacher after all.

"Excellent. Although they're working him very hard right now...all these, well you know." Alice said slowly, obviously avoiding the painful subject of muggle killings.

"All this You-Know-Who stuff? And all the...muggles who have been killed?" Caroline asked, speaking quietly as if such subjects had to be discussed in whispers.

"Yes." Alice confirmed, glancing sideways to see what Lily's reaction would be, but whether purposely or because she had not heard she was still staring out the window.

"Is he very involved with that?" Caroline asked.

"Yes, they've moved him into the law enforcement squad branch, you know, run by Cornelius Fudge? It's some new plan they have. They have so many new branches I can't even keep it straight, but according to Barty Crouch this will revolutionize law enforcement or something. It was Fudge's idea I think...I'm not sure, I'll have to ask Frank about it. I forget. I have no mind at all for politics, I can't keep all of these high ranked officials separate, in all honesty." Alice said, chuckling a little, although half heartedly-considering the subject.

There was a very subdued air in the compartment until the door burst open again and the room was filled with the loud barks of laughter and hearty back slaps that always accompanied James Potter and Sirius Black.

"Can we sit in here?" James asked. "The other compartments are full up." Lily barely even flicked her eyes over him. They entered, revealing Peter Pettigrew behind them. It was always so hard to know whether or not he was there, he was so small and quiet. It was as if he were a little shadow that followed James and Sirius everywhere.

"Sure, sit, whatever." Alice replied. She smiled at all three boys with no special attention to any of the three, making it clear that she had no lingering feelings of sentiment towards James. She was with Frank completely now.

"Thanks." Sirius said, smiling cheekily. "Anyone wanna play exploding snap?" James asked. He was looking at Lily, but she did not reply.

"Where's Hazel?" She asked suddenly, looking around at Sirius."

"I don't know. I thought she would be with you. Why?" Sirius asked. He did not smile as he usually did when Hazel's name was mentioned.

"I wanted to talk to her. Excuse me, I'm going to go find her." Lily said, standing and exiting the compartment.

"Want some company?" James called after her.

"If you mean yours, then no." Lily told him coldly, turning a corner and disappearing from sight.

"Crash and burn, mate." Sirius said, shaking his head and pounding James in the arm.

"Shut it." James replied, frowning.

"You want to know why she's mad?" Alice asked. Caroline looked horrified. "Caroline, I think that it is only fair to James if we tell. He has a very slim chance at being with Lily as it is, and if he doesn't even know why she's mad, how do you ever expect them to get together?" Alice demanded.

"I suppose." Caroline shrugged, looking unconvinced.

"Don't you think they should be together?" Alice asked her imploringly.

"Of course I do." Caroline replied grudgingly.

"Then don't you think we should give James a fighting shot at her?" Alice asked.

"Yes, I suppose we should." Caroline said reluctantly. James had been watching this exchange anxiously and expectantly. "Okay James, we'll tell you why she's mad. Only you should be able to guess it for yourself." Caroline told him. Alice motioned to the seat across from her, a sign that James should take a seat rather than hover over her.

"Okay, so you'll tell me why she hates me?" James asked eagerly. Sirius sighed and took a seat across from Caroline. Peter sat behind the four.

"Yes. But she doesn't really hate you. Well, I don't think so at least." Alice explained. Caroline nodded.

"So then why is she so mean?" James asked.

"1. She's afraid. 2. She thinks that you're irresponsible, immature, fool hardy, and that you only care about what other people think of you and getting a good laugh, that you are a show off, and that you think you can have everything that you want." Alice told him. "At least that's what she says." Alice added.

"And do you agree?" James asked.

"Well...not with the you think you can have whatever you want part, because you obviously know that you can't have her." Alice told him. James looked shocked and hurt.

"James I was kidding!" Alice said, laughing at his facial expression.

"Okay, so what do I do?" He asked her.

"Well, you have to prove her wrong." Alice told him.

"How?" James asked.

"Well, there's not much we can do with number one, but with two...let me think. Stop being a show off would fix a lot of those things." Alice said at last.

"What do you mean by show off?" James asked her.

"Well, you'll have to stop hexing people because you can, you'll have to stop conjuring snakes after quiddich games- she told us that it was you- and you'll have to stop throwing that ridiculous snitch in the air and catching it everywhere that you go. She finds that so irritating." Alice told him.

"I can't do all that!" James said. "Life would be so boring! And I enjoy hexing Slytherins. And laughing never hurt anyone! She should try it sometime, maybe then she wouldn't be so uptight." James said, frustrated. He looked somewhat hopeless.

"Baby steps, Prongs." Sirius told him. "Maybe you can meet her halfway, that snitch does get annoying." Sirius smiled at the expression of anguish on James's face.

"Well, now you know why she's mad, so it's up to you what to do next." Caroline told him, speaking up at last." James looked at her sadly.

"That's easier said than done." He told her. "I'll never be good enough for her."

"Chin up, mate. If all else fails I can whip you up a knockout love potion." Sirius told him.

"You can do potions?" James asked.

"Did I say that I could whip it up? What I meant was I can find someone who can whip it up." Sirius said. They both laughed.

"So, anyone for exploding snap?" James asked. They settled down to play, Peter looking on, and played James and Sirius against Caroline and Alice. Needless to say the boys worked as one and beat the girls every time.

"Hazel?" Lily asked, opening the door to a compartment at the far end of the train.

"Oh...Hiya Lily." Hazel said, looking up from her book and smiling weakly. She was alone in the compartment.

"Where were you this morning? I didn't see you in the great hall so I figured you were with Sirius. When he showed up without you I got really worried. I thought maybe you had overslept and missed the train." Lily explained, taking a seat next to Hazel.

"Oh, no. I was here." Hazel said, offering no other excuse.

"Oh...well do you want to come back to our compartment? Lily suggested.

"Is...Is Sirius there?" Hazel asked.

"Yes, of course." Lily said, standing up and moving to the door. "Aren't you coming?" Lily asked, looking over her shoulder to see that Hazel had not moved.

"I think maybe I'll just stay here and read quietly. You can go back, I don't mind." Hazel said slowly, not quite meeting Lily's eyes.

"But you're not going to see Sirius again for two weeks. You can't possibly prefer to sit here alone over spending time with your boyfriend." Lily said, laughing lightly. When Hazel still did not look up, Lily paused. "Unless...are you two in a fight?" Lily asked her.

"Not a fight exactly." Hazel said quickly, shifting her weight and still not meeting Lily's eyes.

"What happened? Are you two broken up?" Lily asked.

"Yes." Hazel told her after a minute.

"I'm so sorry. I thought he really liked you. I can't believe him! Did he cheat on you? I should have suspected it. He's never been in a relationship that's lasted this long. It was bound to happen sooner or later. I should have seen it coming." Lily said with a sigh. "He can't handle commitment. But Hazel, I'm sure it has nothing to do with you. He was probably just scared and so he needed to get out of the relationship. Don't blame any of this on yourself though. It's Sirius's fault." Lily told her consolingly.

"What are you talking about?" Hazel asked her, a genuinely puzzled expression on her face.

"Sirius and you..." Lily stammered, not quite understanding.

"You think he cheated on me?" Hazel asked her, now it was Hazel's turn to laugh. "You thought that he dumped me, didn't you?" Hazel asked her.

"Well...yes. Naturally I assumed that, what with his reputation and everything-"

"Lily, I dumped him." Hazel said.

"You did?" Lily asked, shocked.

"Well, I'm not sure if I officially said the words...but I'm pretty sure he got the message." Hazel told her.

"But...I'm so confused. I thought things were going great. I thought you really liked him?" Lily said, posing the statement as a question.

"I did, and they were. But then he said that he loved me." Hazel told her.

"He did? Not Sirius! I don't think he's ever said those words in his life. You're joking." Lily told her bluntly.

"No, I'm not. He did say it. I assumed that he said that to all the girls he dated just to sleep with them." Hazel said, sounding less sure of herself.

"I don't think so." Lily said.

"Well, that doesn't matter. Even if he meant it, I don't feel the same." Hazel told her.

"You don't?" Lily asked.

"Of course not! Lily, I'm 16 years old. I have a family and responsibilities that I need to fulfill, a life that I need to make for myself. I have commitments and plans. I'm not going to throw that away just because I've met some cute guy who seems to fancy me. Of course it isn't love." Hazel told Lily, scoffing. "Anyway, it's not important."

"Yes it is." Lily argued.

"No, Lily, it really isn't. There are more important things in life that boys." Hazel told her.

"Don't take that patronizing tone with me." Lily told her, irritated.

"What are you talking about?" Hazel asked.

"You know what I'm talking about. You sit there all condescending, telling me that there is more to life than boys, as if I don't know that. I'm not some brainless bimbo who spends her entire life trying to attract men. I know that there are more important things! So don't you treat me like some halfwit who doesn't know the first thing about having morals or responsibilities." Lily told her, fuming slightly. She realized, of course, that she was probably over reacting. But on the other hand, Hazel was being rude and treating Lily like some inexperienced child.

"Lily, I didn't mean for it to sound like that. I'm sorry if you got the wrong end of the stick, I honestly didn't mean to be patronizing or condescending. I just think that you're wrong. It's not important, whether or not it's love isn't the point." Hazel said.

"Well then what is?" Lily asked.

"The fact that we're 16, and have only been dating for two months, and that we barely know each other. And the fact that we're rushing this. That's the point." Hazel told her.

"I see." Lily said. "Well, are you sure that you don't want to come back to the compartment? I can chase the boys away." Lily told her.

"No thanks. You go. I really would rather be alone anyway." Hazel said.

"Okay...well if you're sure." Lily said, walking towards the door slowly, and looking over her shoulder at Hazel on the way out.

"Yes, I need some time alone before I go back home." Hazel told her insistently.

"Okay then." Lily said, exiting the compartment and closing the door softly behind her. _'How puzzling Hazel is'_ Lily thought to herself. _'And Sirius! I never would have thought that about him! I'll have to talk to him about it. He's not the person I thought he was.' _Lily entered the compartment again and found the others playing a rowdy game of exploding snap.

"Hi Lily!" James said cheerfully as soon as she opened the door. "Want to play exploding snap?" He asked.

"Not really." She said. "Thanks anyway though." She added when she saw his disappointed look. She noticed that Remus had arrived in the compartment during her absence and was chatting agreeably with Peter in a corner. She smiled briefly at him as she took her seat.

"Did you find Hazel?" He asked.

"Yes." She told him.

"Where is she?" Sirius asked her quickly.

"I'm not sure I should tell you." Lily told him.

"Why not?" Sirius demanded.

"We can talk about it later." Lily told him. James glanced between the two, looking puzzled. Sirius turned from Lily to James and shook his head almost imperceptibly, telling him all too plainly to drop it, he would explain later. Alice and Caroline followed this dialogue with turning heads and puzzled looks.

"Well, shall we continue with our game?" James said in a loud and exuberant voice, louder than it had been before.

"Actually, I changed my mind. I will play if that's all right." Lily said as they were about to deal the cards.

"Perfect, I was just getting sick of playing myself." Sirius said, jumping up at once. "You and James can be a team, Lily." Sirius suggested with a wink. Lily thought she heard a disgruntled noise of protest from the corner where Peter was sitting with Remus, but it was stifled a moment later. It did strike Lily as rather unfair that he was being excluded from the game when he had obviously been waiting to play for longer than she had.

Lily took a seat next to James as he dealt the cards. Caroline and Alice had soon grown fed up with playing against Lily and James. They were too good. So now Lily was playing exploding spit against James. They kept slapping the piles at exactly the same time, and both were slow to withdraw their hands from on top of each other's. They were laughing and having a good time.

Sirius and Alice traded amused glances from their seats in the far corner. They were playing chess, and Peter kept drifting between watching the cards and watching the chess. Remus was now reading quietly in his seat, only occasionally looking up at the others. Caroline had left to hunt down Ben, as they were drawing closer to the platform.

"So, what are you doing for the holidays?" James asked conversationally.

"I dunno. Spending time with my family and managing the tricky balancing act of discovering exactly how much of my mother and sister's minds have been obliviated." Lily said off handedly, although James picked up on an infliction of her voice that caused him to look up from his cards and stare at her. Lily took advantage of his distraction to win the smaller pile. "How about you?" Lily asked.

"Well, Sirius is going to be over. We'll probably have a big Christmas dinner with lots of family. And then of course there's the Rupert's Christmas party. Are you going to be there again?" James asked, sounding hopeful.

"It's highly doubtful." Lily told him. "I don't see how I would get away."

"I could come get you again." James suggested.

"Take the night bus again?" Lily asked.

"Yes." James said.

"I don't see that happening. Sorry. I need to spend Christmas with my family." Lily told him. "Besides, I already wrote to my mom, she's expecting me." Lily told him.

"Oh, right." James replied, looking disappointed.

"Well, it feels like we're slowing down." Lily said at last."

"Yeah." James agreed.

"So, I'd better get my stuff then." She said, but she made no move to get up.

"Right." James confirmed. "Me too." But he did not move either.

"Well, good bye then." Lily said as the train stopped completely. She stood and went to the seat to fetch her bag.

"Have a good holiday." Lily told him, exiting the compartment before he replied.

Authors Note: Okay, I'm making a marked effort not to just leave things hanging like I've been doing in the past...so that last sentence actually does serve a purpose, just to let you know. Any guesses? Anyway, review and perhaps you'll find out sooner than you think!


	18. Kings Cross

Authors Note: Okay, so this chapter was really fun to write. This book is going to be ridiculously longer than the last, although prolly less chapters. Funny, isn't it? Anyway it already is longer than the last and we're not even halfway through the year! So, you're about to read my brilliant chapter...haha it was really fun. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

Chapter 18

Kings Cross

Lily walked through the barrier and into Kings Cross. She saw her mother and Petunia waiting for her, looking around and scanning the crowd.

"Hi mum, hi Petunia." Lily said cautiously, stepping up to greet them.

"Hello Lily, did you have a good time at school this term?" Mrs. Evans asked, smiling and embracing her daughter.

"Yes, thank you." Lily said, puzzled. Perhaps they had obliterated too much of her mother's memory. "And you Petunia?" Lily asked.

"It was very nice, thank you." Petunia replied curtly.

"How is Vernon?" Lily asked.

"Vernon is very well thank you." Petunia replied. Just then James came walking up.

"Lily, I just wanted to tell you to have a happy holiday as well. You didn't let me answer before you left." James told her.

"Oh, sorry." Lily told him. "Thanks."

"Lily, are you going to introduce us to your friend?" Mrs. Evans asked pointedly. James looked puzzled. Lily was relieved that she now knew that her mother at least knew nothing.

"Yes Lily, your manners are disgraceful, introduce us to the fellow." Petunia said, her nose in the air. So Petunia knew nothing either. Well, at least now she knew what not to talk about.

"Oh, excuse me, Petunia this is James, James, this is Petunia. Mum, James, James, mum." Lily said, gesturing to her mom and Petunia.

"Nice to meet you." James said, extending his hand. Petunia did not touch it, instead she ignored him with distain. Lily was relieved that he was not going to comment on their lack of memory. How good of him to remember that their memories had been charmed.

"Are you a friend of Lily's from school?" Mrs. Evans asked pleasantly.

"Yes, I'm a good friend of hers." James told her.

"A boyfriend?" Mrs. Evans asked bluntly.

"Yes." James told her. Lily looked at him, shocked. Why would he say that. To her horror he put his arm around her shoulders.

"Oh, well how nice to meet you. Lily didn't mention a boyfriend before." Mrs. Evans said, looking reproachfully at her daughter.

"Mrs. Evans, I was wondering if you might let Lily come to a Christmas party this vacation." James asked. Lily was turning red and wished that she had never given him the invisibility cloak. If she had it right now she would be able to disappear. She wanted to sink through the floor. What was he doing?

"Why of course. When is it?" Mrs. Evans asked. "It's four days after Christmas, but it goes really late, and most people show up in the afternoon. So I could pick her up on the 28 and bring her back on the 30." James suggested.

"An overnight with boys?" Mrs. Evans asked doubtfully.

"Yes Mrs. Evans, but Lily would have separate accommodations, of course. We would not be sharing a bedroom or anything of the sort." James told her.

"Will there be chaperones?" Mrs. Evans asked.

"Yes, my parents will be there as well as the parents of all of the other kids at the party. There will be more adults than kids, actually." James told her confidently. Lily was very conscious of his arm around her shoulders. She tried to move away without making it obvious to her mother what she was doing, but James was not moving his arm.

"Well then I don't see why not. You can come over any time you like." Mrs. Evans told him. Lily thought that this would be the end of it. James had won. There was nothing she could do. She would be going to the party with him after all. But no, he could not just leave it at that.

"Actually Mrs. Evans, I was just thinking, it's almost a full days ride from my house to your house, so why doesn't Lily just come to my house on the 28th and we can go back to school together on the 1st?" James suggested. "That way she won't have to be traveling for two days straight right before starting classes again." Lily looked up at him incredulously. What did he think he was doing? What was she getting herself into?

"That's actually a very good idea, James. It will save me a trip to London as well." Mrs. Evans agreed. Lily was opening and closing her mouth like a fish out of water. She could not believe the nerve of him!

"Thank you so much for understanding, Mrs. Evans." James told her, smiling his easy, confident smile.

"I'll see you on the 28, Lily darling. I'll be counting the minutes." He told her. Mrs. Evans, to Lily's complete embarrassment, led Petunia away to 'give them some privacy to say their goodbyes.'

"James Potter, I cannot believe you." Lily stuttered. She could barely speak for rage.

"What did I do?" James asked.

"What did you do? Let me think. Lied to my mom, forced me into spending Christmas break with you when you know that I don't want to, pretended to be my boyfriend" Lily fumed. She was about to continue when James cut her off.

"Wait just a second, if I recall you are the one who lied about me being your boyfriend to begin with, and I didn't make a big deal out of it. And I saved you from a boring break. Now just think of all the fun you'll be having." James said encouragingly.

"First of all, when I lied about it it was to get myself out of a different relationship, not to manipulate you. Second of all my break was not going to be boring. Thirdly, you never asked me. Fourthly, I do not consider hanging out with you for a week to be fun." Lily told him, her face turning red. The full effect of her tirade was somewhat diminished by the fact that she was whispering in order to avoid being stared at by the other people inside Kings Cross.

"You forgot Sirius. You'll be hanging out with me and Sirius. And just think how pleased my mum will be to hear that we're together, and that you're coming over!" James told coaxed.

"We are not together and you will tell your mum no such thing! It's bad enough you lying to my mum." Lily told him, gasping with horror. She could not believe him.

"Your mom's waiting for you, Lily. Shall we give her a show? Seal the deal? Convince her for sure?" James asked, not listening to what she was saying. "Oh, and I think I see my mom over there too." James said. "We can introduce them." Lily was about to turn when he grabbed her. His meaning in 'seal the deal' became clear when he kissed her firmly on the mouth. She inhaled sharply, a motion which only caused James to kiss her more thoroughly.

"James, stop it, people are watching!" Lily said sharply, pulling away as fast as she could.

"Does that mean that I can kiss you when people aren't watching?" James asked, winking at her. Before she had the opportunity to splutter a reply he began to lead her away again. "Come on, darling, let's go introduce our mums. Oh look, mine's blushing. I think she saw that kiss. Woops, my mistake." James told her, smiling cheekily.

"James Potter, I'm warning you-" Lily started.

"Hi mom!" James called out, waving to her and grabbing Lily's hand, pulling her over to where his mother was standing. Lily struggled to remove her hand from James's, but to no avail.

"Hello darling. Hello Lily dear. How are you?" She asked, looking at their flushed faces. Lily's was more flushed with anger than anything else, but if she had in fact seen the kiss then Lily knew exactly what she would be thinking.

"Guess what mom? Lily's coming to our house for the Rupert's party and then staying the week after. Her mom said it was okay, is it?" James pleaded.

"I don't see why not. We love to have Lily. Won't this be fun." She said.

"Come on mom, you can meet Mrs. Evans." James said, leading the way to where Mrs. Evans and Petunia were standing. Lily was dragged along behind him, her hand still in his. He was practically bouncing like an energetic two year old right before Christmas, all of which he was except for the two year old part. "Mrs. Evans, I'd like you to meet my mom." James said, presenting his mother. "Mom, this is Mrs. Evans and Petunia, Lily's sister."

"How nice to meet you." Anne said, extending her hand. Petunia could not ignore her hand, so she took it for less than a second before dropping it like a hot coal. "You may call me Anne." She said.

"It's a pleasure to meet you Anne. I understand that Lily will be staying with you over the break?" Mrs. Evans said.

"Yes." Anne replied, smiling at Lily. "And you have a separate bedroom for her, I assume?" Mrs. Evans asked.

"Of course. She stayed with us this summer, and had her own room then. She can have the same room this time." Anne said.

"She stayed with you this summer? No she didn't." Mrs. Evans told her, looking surprised.

"Yes she did. She came home with James, don't you remember?" Anne asked. Lily did not like where this was going, but could see no way of stopping it.

"Oh, mom, you remember don't you? I went and stayed there for a few days at the end of the summer..." Lily said, trying to save the situation. Anne looked at her, puzzled.

"It was for a few weeks Lily, not a few days. Don't you remember, Mrs. Evans?" Anne asked.

"I'm afraid that you must be mistaken, Lily was with us all summer last year." Mrs. Evans told her.

"Mom, maybe you got confused. Maybe it wasn't last summer..." James said, regretting his decision to bring his mom over to meet Mrs. Evans.

"James! I am not confused! Lily was with us for more than half the summer last year! Tell her Lily." Anne said, turning to Lily.

"Lily, tell this woman that you were at home for the entire summer last year." Mrs. Evans said, also turning to her daughter.

"Well, mom, the thing is." Lily started.

"How could you have forgotten, Mrs. Evans? It was right after your tragic loss. I wouldn't have thought that you would forget such a thing." Anne said.

"Our tragic loss?" Mrs. Evans repeated.

"Yes. Right after your husband was abducted. I'm sorry James, I know you asked me not to talk about it, but this is ridiculous" Anne said, looking at Mrs. Evans almost angrily, as if she suspected her of having fabricated a huge lie about having forgotten her husband.

"James, you told! You said you wouldn't!" Lily said, looking at James angrily.

"My husband?" Mrs. Evans repeated. "My god. My husband!" She cried out, falling to the ground and breaking into sobs. "I forgot about the death of my own husband."

"Daddy!" Petunia wailed, falling down beside her mother, apparently having remembered at the same time.

"Stand back, stand back, nothing to see here!" Cried out men dressed in black robes arriving from thin air and forming a circle around Mrs. Evans and Petunia.

"Mom!" Lily cried out, attempting to break into the circle.

"Stand back miss, these women have to be taken in for treatment." Said a man holding a wand and trying to keep the crowd back.

"But that's my mother!" Lily cried out.

"I'm very sorry, but she's in no condition to be spoken to right now. We have to take her away." Replied the man.

"What am I supposed to do?" Lily called out, but the men had disappeared, and her mother and Petunia with them. The other occupants of Kings Cross, to her surprise, were continuing with their tasks without so much as glancing at the spot where ten men had appeared seconds before. No one seemed to care, or perhaps they just didn't remember. "What do I do now?" Lily asked, turning to James and his mother.

"You can come home with us." James suggested.

"Yes, I feel rather responsible for that. You'll have to explain that to me later, Lily dear. But it would only be appropriate for you to come back with us." Anne said. Lily, seeing no other option, followed them reluctantly to the Potter's car. "Now, if I can remember how to turn this thing on." Muttered Anne as she poked the ignition with the key. "Here we are." Lily felt rather nervous with Anne at the wheel. James and Lily sat together in the back seat, and she did not even mind that they were touching. '_On the bright side, if we crash he'll be able to grab me before I fly through the windshield'_ Lily thought morbidly. "So, Lily dear, what was all that back there?" Anne asked, driving in a rather out of control fashion that reminded Lily all too much of the Night Bus journey.

"My mother and sister had their memories modified after my dad turned up dead on my doorstep. I guess they erased last summer as well, but when you reminded them it all came back. Must have been a pretty lousy spell to crack that easily." Lily said with a sigh.

"Not necessarily. It was probably quite difficult to know how much to remove and what to replace it with. It's a very difficult job. It looks like we'll get to spend some quality time with our favorite young lady this Christmas break. I'm very sorry for messing up the memory charm though, Lily, I didn't know about it." Anne told her.

"It's not your fault. I don't blame you at all." Lily assured her. The emphasis that she put on _you_ caused James to look a littler nervous.

"And, er, who exactly do you blame, Lily?" James asked. Lily made that clear without words. She turned away from him, refusing to look in his direction at all, much less speak to him. Anne laughed.

"Oh, a lovers quarrel." She said with a sigh and a giggle. Lily did not even try to correct her. What good would it do? She had seen them kissing.

"Where's Sirius?" Lily asked suddenly, remembering that he should have been there.

"Oh my god. We've forgotten him!" Anne screamed, slamming hard on the breaks and spinning in the middle of the road. Fortunately they were only about ten minutes away from Kings Cross when they noticed his absence. "Sirius!" Screamed Anne, racing to the station, leaving James and Lily to follow in her wake.

"Anne!" Sirius called out, smiling and holding out his arms. "You remembered me!" He was standing outside the train station, holding his bag that he had packed for the break and laughing heartily. "You should see your face." He commented, hugging her.

"I'm so sorry Sirius. Things were so crazy, we'll explain in the car." Anne said, leading the way to the vehicle where Lily and James were standing, waiting for their return. They had obviously just finished a heated discussion as both were red in the face and facing opposite directions.

"Lily?" Sirius asked questioningly.

"I'll explain everything." Anne told him, glancing nervously at the two. James got in the car, followed by a reluctant and very angry Lily. Sirius got in last, squeezing in barely and slamming the door shut.

"So, who remembered me?" Sirius asked, looking around.

"Lily." Anne told him. Lily and James were not speaking, and Lily, since she would not look in James's direction, was looking at Sirius.

"Thanks Lily, I owe you one. Who knows how long I would have been standing there if it weren't for you." Sirius said smiling. She smiled back, but the smile quickly vanished from her face. "So, what's going on?" Asked Sirius confused. Anne spilled out the entire story- or what she knew of is. Sirius laughed very inappropriately.

"It's not funny!" Lily admonished.

"I'm sorry, you're right. I'm very sorry about your mother, Lily." Sirius told her. "And your sister." Sirius added. But, knowing what he knew about James and Lily, he did find it rather amusing. Sirius looked at James for further explanation, but James just stared out the window. The rest of the ride went by in silence, the tension between James and Lily destroying the entire atmosphere.

"So, James, you going to tell me what really happened?" Sirius demanded as they walked up the stairs. Lily had already raced ahead of them so the she would not have to be in the same place as James for another moment.

"It was pure brilliance, mate. You would have been proud." James said, smiling delightedly at the memory of his own genius.

"Somehow I doubt it. Well, why don't you tell me." Sirius said with a sigh, throwing his bag onto his bed and sitting down. They had decided that it would be better to go to Sirius's room, which was farther away from Lily.

"Okay, so I go up to her, and she's talking to her mother, right?" James asked.

"Okay." Sirius said hesitantly.

"And I hadn't planned out what I was going to say or anything, this was all off the top of my head, bear that in mind." James added.

"Bearing. Continue." Sirius prodded.

"Okay, so Lily introduces me to her mom and sister-" James started.

"I thought you met them last summer?" Sirius interrupted.

"Well, yes, but they had their memories obliviated because they saw death eaters and the dark mark and everything." James told him.

"Right, sorry, go on." Sirius encouraged.

"Okay, so I'm introduced and then Mrs. Evans asks if I'm Lily's boyfriend, and so I say yes, okay? I'm not really planning on what to do, you know, but I put my arm around Lily and then it hits me. It's the most brilliant plan in the world. I'll be able to prove to her that I'm not a cocky jerk or anything. It's perfect. So I ask her mom if she can come and stay the week after Christmas because there's this party, the Rupert's party. And she asks all the usual questions and everything about chaperones of course, but she agrees. And at this point Lily's ready to die. And then her mother is all 'let's give them some privacy' so then, right in the middle of Kings Cross, I kissed Lily. Right in front of everyone. My mom was looking. So now I've gotten to kiss Lily and convinced my mom that we're dating. So it's basically perfect. But then I messed up, although I'm not going to lie, the results are quite pleasing, I asked my mom to come over and meet Mrs. Evans. Big mistake. My mom starts talking about 'last summer' and the rest is what you heard in the car." James told Sirius, a big smile on his face.

"And...you're pleased with the results?" Sirius asked, a little surprised.

"Of course I am. Lily's here, isn't she?" James asked.

"Well yes, but she hates you even more now." Sirius told him.

"Yeah, but now I have a whole two weeks to prove to her that she's wrong." James told him.

"Maybe, but you just successfully proved to her that you think you can have whatever you want, that you don't care about her feelings, and that you're a liar and manipulative. You have more to disprove now than when you started out." Sirius told him.

"I suppose so." James admitted, floating down from cloud nine.

"But she's here. And we'll be at the party together. And it was bloody brilliant, wasn't it?" James asked.

"Yes, bloody brilliant." Sirius agreed, and both boys shared a laugh. "I still say apologize though." He added after a good hardy chuckle. James nodded sagely. He was probably right after all.

Authors Note: Okay, sorry that wasn't too long or anything. The next chapter is going to be about Hazel's Christmas...anyway, I needed it to give a better look at her character. And also, was this chapter way too random and not at all realistic? Well once again it's obviously not exactly realistic…but u know what i mean. In all honestly I just didn't want to deal with writing about Petunia/Mrs. Evans/Vernon AGAIN…So read and review and I'll post soon!


	19. Hazel’s Christmas

Authors Note: Okay, so this chappie might be a bit slow. But soon I promise we'll get into some marauders and stuff...it'll be fun. Oh, and I hope that the bit at Kings Cross was somewhat realistic...was it? Well I mean it's obviously not realistic, but did it make sense is what I'm really asking...Anyway RR!

Chapter 19

Hazel's Christmas

"Hazel, baby!" said a large, bustling woman. If you looked at her next to her daughter and had not been told they were related, you would not have guessed it. Hazel, who was short anyway, appeared to be a pixie compared to her mother. Her mother wasn't exactly fat, but she hadn't quite lost all the weight she had gained from her last pregnancy...six years ago. She was tall and square, with a large, engulfing personality. She hugged her daughter close, smiling happily to see her.

"Hiya momma." Hazel said quietly. She was quiet by nature, and when she was with her mother and her large personality, she seemed to grow even more timid. "Hi dadda." Hazel said, turning to her father, who was in a wheelchair. He had lost the ability to use his legs when he got sick. The doctors did not know exactly what he had, but it was eating away at his insides and was slowly shutting down his systems. His legs did not work, he was bald, and he was going deaf fast.

"Hazel? Is that you?" He asked slowly. Hazel did not know what her mother had been thinking of, bringing her dad to this place. It was crowded, and the loud noises were undoubtedly hurting him.

"It's me dadda." Hazel replied, smiling at him and kissing his cheek.

"Welcome home baby." He said, smiling. He always got happier whenever Hazel was home. At least that was what her mom said, Hazel did not know if she was just being nice or if it was the truth.

"Hi Adam." Hazel said, crouching down and hugging her little brother who, up until now, had been hiding behind his mother. He rarely saw Hazel, and Hazel did not always know if he remembered her. It hurt most of the time, but he always remembered quickly and loved her. She loved him too. Apparently he did remember her this time, though, as he threw himself on her with a flying leap of a hug.

"Hazel!" He shrieked, laughing his happy little child's laugh.

"Hi Adam. Have you been having a good year in school?" Hazel asked.

"No." Adam said, pouting.

"Oh? Tell me all about it." Hazel said, holding his hand and walking with him out of Kings Cross, one hand on her father's wheelchair, which her mother was pushing. They arrived at the van and Hazel opened the door. There was a ramp and a big empty space where the seat had been removed with slits in the floor for her father's wheelchair. Hazel pushed it up the ramp and locked it securely into place while her mother positioned herself behind the wheel. Hazel sat next to Adam in the back seat.

"My teacher's a meanie poo." Adam said, scrunching up his nose.

"Oh?" Hazel asked, looking at him in a surprised fashion, feigning sorrow.

"Yes." Adam agreed, nodding his little head. His blue eyes were wide open as he looked up at his big sister and told about how his teacher was a 'meanie poop head.'

"She doesn't give me candy. The other teachers give out candy, but not her. And she's old. And ugly. And she keeps us in at recess to do maths." Adam said, crossing his arms across his narrow chest and pouting, his lower lip jutting forward.

"Well, I'll give you some candy when we get home. How about I cook you a special dinner tonight?" Hazel asked. Adam was immediately distracted from his teacher at the prospects of a special dinner.

"What will you make?" He asked, his eyes widening more.

"It'll be a surprise." Hazel said, without the faintest idea of what she would make.

"And dessert too?" Adam asked.

"Yes, dessert too of course." Hazel said. "Dessert is the best part of the meal." She told him. He nodded sagely in agreement. Hazel refrained from laughing at the serious expression on her little brother's face.

"Yes, dessert is the best. But not when it's peach cobbler. I do not like peach cobbler." Adam said, shaking his head.

"Oh?" Hazel asked again, he kept surprising her.

"Not at all." Adam repeated.

"What do you like?" Hazel asked.

"Not spinach." Adam told her.

"What is your favorite food?" Hazel asked him.

"Definitely not spinach." Adam added.

"Really. No spinach. Okay. So what is your favorite food, Adam?" Hazel asked, trying again.

"I like pasta, and pizza, and potatoes, and I like cheese, and peanut butter, and I like corn." Adam told her.

"Is that all?" Hazel asked him.

"No, I like chicken nuggets, french fries, and hot dogs." He said after reflecting for a moment.

"I see" said Hazel, already planning out her dinner based on this information. Hazel chatted about Adam's favorites for a little while longer. His favorite game was hide and go seek, and his favorite toy was a stuffed animal named Fetch. He explained, when questioned about the origin of this name, that all dogs were named fetch.

"They are?" Hazel asked him.

"Yes. Haven't you ever been to a park with dogs in it, silly?" Adam asked her.

"Of course." Hazel told him.

"Well then you know that everyone always says Go, Fetch!" Adam explained. "Because all dogs are named Fetch, so they are always telling Fetch to go. I don't think that people like their dogs very much. Fetch always comes back though." Adam told her. Hazel could not hold back her laughter after this pronouncement.

"Yes, that's a very good job noticing that Adam. You're right, all dogs are named Fetch." Hazel told him. He beamed under her praise. "I'll cook dinner tonight, mamma." Hazel offered as they arrived at the apartment. She pushed her dad up the ramp that had been stretched over the stairs just for him. They had a ground floor apartment that they rented mostly because of it's convenience for Hazel's father. They had had to sell their old apartment to pay for his medical bills when he first got sick. And since he was no longer working the only income they had was from her mom, so they had not purchased an apartment yet.

The fact that it was on the first floor was about all that could be said for the shabby, two bedroom, one bathroom flat. There was a small kitchen and a living/eating area. There were two bedrooms and a bathroom all connected to the main room. It was small and cramped and allowed for little privacy.

"Thank you dear." Mrs. Brooks replied, smiling at her daughter, grateful to have her home. Hazel cooked the dinner of pasta, salad, and the break and bake type of bread that you put in the oven for 15 minutes. She had a dessert of ice cream. It was a simple meal that was quick and took little effort, but Adam was thrilled. Hazel set the table and then cleared up afterwards. Then she watched a movie on the tellie with her family that night. The signal was not very good, and kept breaking up in the dramatic scenes. And the movie was in black and white. Hazel went to bed early that night, having nothing else to do. She was glad to be home, of course, but she couldn't keep her mind from wandering to Hogwarts and Lily and, much to her dismay, Sirius.

The next day Hazel woke up early and left the room she was sharing with Adam quietly, so as not to disturb him. She went in to the living area and started doing her homework. She got a lot of it done in the morning. She was glad to have it out of the way, although that did mean that she would have to search for other things to occupy her time. Her mom woke up later and Hazel started cooking breakfast. She brought her mom coffee and Mrs. Brooks sat their sipping it for a few minutes.

"Baby, I have to go to work! I'm almost late as it is. I'll be home late, I'm not sure what time, but there's food in the fridge, and you can take Adam out later on if you like. If not entertain yourselves here however you want." Mrs. Brooks said, taking another sip of her coffee and leaving the apartment. She shut the door behind her a little more forcefully than Hazel would have liked, considering the sleeping occupants of the apartment, but no one stirred from the bedrooms.

Hazel had the bacon fried and the eggs scrambled by the time her brother emerged from his room. Her father rarely left bed, and Hazel doubted that he would for some time. His meeting her at the train station had been over exerting himself as it was. Hazel fixed up a plate of food and poured a mug of coffee. She brought it to her dad on a tray, knocking lightly on the door.

"Morning dadda. I have breakfast for you." Hazel said, smiling.

"Thank you baby. Can you leave it on the dresser?" He asked. She did so. Glancing down at the dresser she saw a framed picture of herself at the age Adam was now, and a picture that she had probably drawn in school at some point. It had herself holding hands with her dad and her mom, walking in a park. It had been drawn before Adam was born and before her dad had lost the ability to walk. She sighed and looked at the other photo, the photo of Adam. They looked a lot alike, Adam and herself. Hazel left the room with little hope that her dad would actually eat anything, but at least it would be there if he wanted it.

Hazel had cleared the breakfast dishes and had Adam occupied drawing pictures in crayon at the kitchen table.

"Adam, do you want to go down to the park?" Hazel asked, desperate to leave the house.

"No." Adam replied.

"Please Adam? We can bring Fetch." She coaxed.

"Okay then, I'll go ask Fetch." Adam said reluctantly, heaving himself from the table and running to their bedroom where he found Fetch eager to go on a walk.

"Dadda? Adam and I are going out for a while." Hazel said, swallowing as she entered his bedroom. She did not really like the stuffy, sickly air of the place. She noticed that the breakfast had not been touched.

"Okay. Have a nice time." Mr. Brooks replied, only half paying attention. He was not sleeping. he was propped up on the pillows staring at the wall across from him. It must be a boring existence.

"Do you want me to open the shades, dadda?" Hazel asked. He did not answer. She walked over to the window and revealed the street outside. It was not a particularly pleasant view, but nicer than the view of the wall. Her father made no comment. "Well, see you later dadda." Hazel said, leaving the room.

"Let's go, let's go, let's go." Adam chanted, bouncing up and down and pulling at her hand.

"For someone who didn't want to go you certainly seem excited." Hazel commented, grabbing her coat.

"I want to walk Fetch, and introduce him to all the other Fetches." Adam told her.

"Okay, well I'm ready. Have you got a coat? It's cold out there." Hazel told him.

"I'm not cold." Adam told her simply.

"Not now. But you're inside now. When you go outside you will be cold." Hazel told him.

"I don't need a coat." Adam told her.

"Well then I guess we can't go out." Hazel said, pretending to turn around. Adam practically flew to the closet to grab his coat.

"I have my coat, let's go, let's go, let's go." Adam chanted in this vein until they reached the park, two blocks from their apartment. He was tugging on her hand when she made him hold it to cross the street, and then he would run down the sidewalk and wait at the crosswalk for her to catch up. They arrived at the park and Hazel sat on a bench where she could see Adam racing around, chasing pigeons and yelling at Fetch to go.

They stayed at the park until they grew hungry, and then they decided it would be best to go home for lunch. When they arrived home, however, they found that it was almost three o'clock. Hazel quickly fixed them both peanut butter and jelly sandwiches as per Adam's request. She checked on her dad, and found him still sitting and staring at nothing, but this time his gaze was directed towards the window. She was glad that he appreciated the view. Not wanting to disturb him she left with the uneaten tray of breakfast, closing the door behind her. He never said a word. It was as if he were in a trance.

That night Hazel fixed dinner for her and Adam, leaving the leftovers in the fridge for when her mom got home from work. Her mother worked as a nurse in an emergency room, and was gone pretty much around the clock. She did the morning shift and then got a brief break for lunch before returning to work until dinner, at which point she got a briefer break and then worked until after midnight. They were not the best hours, but they needed the money that extra shifts would bring. Usually there was a woman who looked after Adam in the mornings and made sure he got to school and then came back right before he got home from school, but she had been given the holidays off since Hazel was home.

Hazel and Adam watched a movie on the small TV again that night. The signal was still weak, but Hazel had grown used to it. Besides, there was not TV at all at Hogwarts, so she supposed she should be grateful.

In the middle of the program Hazel heard a tapping on the window in the kitchen. She rose and went to the window. Outside there was an owl that Hazel had never seen before. Puzzled, she undid the latch and opened the window, allowing the bird to fly in and deliver its letter. It then sat on the counter, as she read apparently waiting for a reply.

Hazel,

I understand that what I said was rather sudden, and I apologize for it. You're right, we're too young and I rushed things. I shouldn't have launched that on you the way I did. I hate fighting with you though. I with that we could go back to how things were, and I promise I won't say the you know which words again until you're ready. Please forgive me?

Sirius

It was sweet of him to write, but she did not really want to go back to how things were. Her grades were slipping, and the fact that he had said it would still be hanging over her. She would not forget that he had said it, she could not forget that he had said it. How could she handle the kind of pressure that those words put on a person? She did not like the word love- it meant forever and 'til death do us part. Look what a hell that word had trapped her mother in. Hazel did not want to end up like this because of love.

Her father and mother had been high school sweethearts and had gotten married right afterwards. Neither had gone to college, so they had both been forced to work the shabbiest of jobs. But her mother had gone back to school later to become a nurse, so she had worked her way up a little, Hazel supposed. But if they had waited then they would have known that her dad was going to get sick, then maybe her mother would have thought twice before agreeing to a life of working all day to bring home enough money to support her family while her husband lay languidly in bed, unable to walk. Hazel knew that it was hateful to think those kinds of thoughts, but she couldn't help it. That void expression in her father's lifeless eyes had really done something to her.

She shooed the owl away without a response and went to her room. She closed the door and leaned against the wall, reading the letter again before shoving it into her suitcase. _'And that's that, I won't think if it again'_ Hazel told herself firmly, going back to the film.

This was the routine that Hazel and Adam followed virtually every day. Some days it was too cold to go out, in which case they would play games or draw pictures or read stories. They went to the library once to stock up on books for just such days as this.

Midway through Hazel's visit it snowed, and Hazel and Adam enjoyed playing in the snow. They made snow angels and built a snowman at the park, as they did not have a yard outside their apartment. Sirius's letters became a part of the routine as well. Every night he wrote to her, telling her that he missed her and begging her forgiveness.

His letters did not contain much else, but Hazel knew from Lily's letters that she and Sirius were both at the Potter's house- Lily told her the story of how that had happened and did not sound at all amused. Hazel replied to Lily, of course, telling about her holiday. She did not mention that her mother worked constantly and that her father had not come out of his bed throughout her entire stay. She only filled her letters with chatter about how cute her brother was, and how she couldn't wait to go back to Hogwarts.

Hazel had a suspicion that her letters to Lily were passed on to Sirius, but she found herself not caring at all. Part of her wanted Sirius to know what she was doing and how she was. She now had a collection of letters from him at the bottom of her trunk, all of which she read every night before sleeping. But she never replied to any of the letters that he sent her. She did not know what to say. The only response one could give to letters such as those was the promise of forgiveness and that things could go on as they had been, and Hazel was not ready to write such a letter. In her head, however, she had composed many different letters to Sirius, all of which contained promises of forgiveness.

Hazel did not see her mother very much, save for a few brief moments each morning. The left-overs that Hazel saved from her dinners were always eaten, but Hazel was always asleep when her mom arrived home and never heard her come in.

The only break in the routine occurred on Christmas morning, when Mrs. Brooks had taken the morning shift off, explaining that they could have a family morning and then she would work in the afternoon. There was only one family present, a new film for all of them. Hazel, who had money saved from her work at a day care center over the summer, had bought Andy a new set of crayons and a new book. He was very thrilled by his presents. Christmas was particularly special because her father came out of his room for an hour to watch Andy open presents, and he even joined them at the table for breakfast, although he hardly ate his food.

After that day they went back to the old routine. Hazel was Adam's full time babysitter and the household cook. She was not overly bitter about this, it wasn't as if she had anything else she would rather be doing, but she had imagined her vacation going differently. _'Why? It's always like this, why did you expect this holiday to be different?'_ Asked the reasonable side of her brain. **_'Because, I just hoped, okay? Is dreaming so wrong?' _**Asked the other side of her mind. _'Yes. Dreamers get disappointed too often.'_ Replied the sensible but cynical side coldly. Hazel sighed looking towards the window and waiting for the familiar tap of the owl.

Authors note: Sorry if that was a little boring..I liked writing about her brother though...haha little kids are so fun to write conversations with. Anyway, next we get to sneak a peek at what's happening in the Potter household. Read and Review! And you know what I've noticed? All of my chapters for the past few have been exactly ten pages long. Isn't that odd? Unintentional I swear. Anyway, RR.


	20. Christmas With The Potters

Chapter 20

Christmas With The Potters

While Sirius and James talked and laughed about the situation, Lily moped. Lily could not believe his nerve.

"How dare he?" She fumed out loud, pacing back and forth across the room.

"You know, talking to yourself is the first sign if insanity," said James, standing in her doorway. Lily flung him a distainful and hauty glance that cut him down like the dog he was- or at least that was what she had intended it to do- and then resumed her pacing.

"Look, Lil, I'm sorry." James told her, following Sirius's advice and apologizing. Lily still did not reply. James walked toward her but she struck out at him violently. He back up a pace, looking at her warily. He closed the door softly so that if there was yelling, as he expected there would be, it would not carry too far. He approached again, ignoring her flailing arms, and managed to catch her wrist in one of his hands.

"Let me go, Potter." Lily spat at him, struggling to free herself.

"See, there you go calling me Potter again." James told her, sshaking his head. Was that amusement Lily saw twinkling in his eyes? Was he laughing at her? Well, he would not enjoy her annoyance for very much longer. James put his free hand on her shoulder, attempting to make her stay still.

"Go away." She said, struggling against him to no avail.

"No. I'm sorry, okay?" James asked.

"You don't look it." Lily snarled at him, turning quickly and managing to free herself from his grip. She stepped away from him quickly, but found herself with her back to a corner.

"Lily." James said, stepping closer. Lily stepped back, closer to the wall. "Lils." James said, taking another step forward. Lily countered his movement by stepping back. One more step and she would have nowhere to go. That and his steps were longer than hers. "Lil." James said, stepping. This was it, last step. Lily hoped that he had no more nicknames. She was now backed into the corner withnowhere else to go except right at James. "Moonshine." He cooed, stepping forwards again. Now he was right in front of her and the had nowhere to go. He had called her Moonshine again. Lily could not remember how long it had been since she had heard that name cross his lips. The memories conjured by that name were too much...

"James, go away." Lily said again, with less force this time.

"You called me James, that's a start." James said, encouraged.

"Potter, go away." Lily corrected.

"Not until you let me appologize properly." He countered.

"If by 'appologize properly' you mean snog me, then you have another think coming, Potter." Lily told him angrily.

"Look, I'm sorry, please accept my appology? I don't want you to be mad at me." James told her.

"What are you sorry for?" She asked him. James looked a little surprised and was obviously not prepared for that question.

"Pardon?" He asked.

"What are you sorry for." Lily said again.

"I'm sorry for not asking you if you wanted to come before having your mom agree to it. I'm sorry for lying to your mom. I'm sorry for embarassing you in front of my mom. I'm sorry for" James tried to think of what it was Sirius had told him he had done, but it was all escaping him now. "I'm sorry for being an arrogant prat, and for ruining your mom's memory." James said, fishing. Manipulative, that had been the word. "I'm sorry for manipulating you into coming here against your will." James said. There had been something else, hadn't there? Something else that she was mad about? What was it! "I'm sorry for acting like I could just have whatever I want. And lastly, I'm very sorry for not thinking about your feelings first." James told her, confident that he had remembered everything.

"Yes, that is about all I'm mad at you for." Lily admitted, the fire in her eyes seemed to dim a little, but James could not be sure. "You can leave me alone now, Potter." 'Oh no, what did I do wrong this time? Why is she still calling me Potter?' James thought desperately.

"So-so you don't accept my appology?" James asked.

"You think that after you did all that I would just accept your appology?" Lily asked.

"Well...yes. I had hoped so at least." James said.

"Well, you were wrong Potter. I'm not just going to leap into your arms and sob over the loss of my mother this time. Those days are over. I'm glad you're sorry, but you don't get another chance." Lily told him.

"No more chances?" James asked, horrified. What had he done? "Please?" He asked.

"Certainly not." Lily told him.

"Just one more?" James begged. He got onto his knees. "Please, please forgive me. I'm so sorry, and I'll be your humble servant forever if you'll forgive me my many faults."

"Many being an opperative word. And I would love to see you as a humble anything." Lily told him, looking away. "James, you're doing it again." She warned him.

"Doing what?" He asked, standing, seeing that it was no use. "Acting like you can get whatever you want just by looking at me with those big brown eyes. And by not thinking about the position that you're putting me in. You're making me be the bad guy." Lily told him.

"I'm not making you do anything, you're being the bad guy all by yourself." James told her. He knew afterwards that he shouldn't have said it, but it had just slipped out.

"You're trying to make me forgive you, which I can't do. You're making me forgive you or be the bad guy. I don't want to do either, Potter, but you leave me no choice. You only think about yourself, and it's got to stop." Lily told him.

"But you won't give me a chance to stop." James told her.

"Because even if I did you wouldn't!" Lily told him.

"How do you know that?" James asked her.

"Well, if you look back in the past we can see that you obviously only ever think about yourself. Take today as an example." Lily told him.

"But you used to forgive me." James told her.

"You didn't use to mess up this often. You've really changed, Potter. You used to be nice, now you're a show-off." Lily told him. James was hurt by that comment.

"That's not true, Lily. Please don't say that. And even if I am different, so are you. People change, that's not my fault. You aren't even giving the new James a chance to prove himself." James told her.

"That's because the old James-"

"Exaclty, the old James. You've said it yourself, two different Jameses. I've changed. So how do you know that this James won't be different?" James asked her.

"Because the old James-"

"See, you've said it again. You've proved that I have changed, and that there is a distinct new James and old James, but you won't give the new James a chance because of what the old James did, even though they are different people. You see? You're being prejudice against the new James." James told her.

"You are aware that you're speaking about yourself in the third person and describing yourself as two different people, right?" Lily asked him.

"Yes." James told her. "No." He corrected. "I mean...what's the question?" James asked.

"Never mind." Lily told him.

"Please, Lily. Give the new me a chance." James beseeched.

"Okay, fine. But the new James has a lot of explaining to do about why he betrayed my trust." Lily told him.

"Okay. And guess what. The new James is not even going to ask you for a snog." James told her proudly.

"Good." Lily told him. She ducked under his arm and ran to the bed. She sat on the edge and gestured towards her. "So, tell me why you told your mom about my dad and then told me that they weren't asking because they were such nice people." James, who had just sat down next to her, began to shift his weight uneasily.

"Well, you see, they were asking a lot of questions and I thought it would be easier if I just...you know, told them everything." James explained.

"And you didn't think it was a good idea to tell me that you made this unilateral descion about my secrets because..." Lily said, leaving him to fill in the blank. James did not like the words she was using or the tone she was using them in.

"Well, you see, that was the old me, remember that. And the old me thought that you didn't really need to talk about that any more. So the old me was just sort of protecting you from all the questioning and all the talking." James told her.

"Too bad the new James isn't a bit more like the old one. I think I fancied him better. He didn't talk in circles and act so shifty. He didn't always seem like he was trying to hide something." Lily told him.

"The new me, I mean, I am not hiding anything. Well, nothing important." James corrected, thinking of his activities during every full moon and his escapades in Hogsmede. And the jinxes on the Slytherins that Lily did not know about. But that was really it. "And I'm not shifty."

"Oh really? Look me in the eye and tell me that." Lily instructed. James looked, but remained silent and then looked away. He didn't want to lie to her. She would find out and be mad at him all over again. And who knew if she would give another next chance. He really didn't know how many lives he had left. But on the other hand he simply could not tell her. He couldn't. Maybe he could tell her a partial truth? But no, Lily held partial truths as equals with lies. What to do?

"Okay James, keep your secrets. I don't care." Lily told him, and she genuinely didn't seem to care. James didn't know if that was a good or bad thing. On the one hand that could mean that she didn't care enough about him to care. Or it could mean that she was so wildly in love with him that she didn't care how many secrets he had. Or it could mean that she had simply given up. Or it could also mean that she really did care and was trying to be accepting of that and was trying to give him time. James did not know, although he felt that it was safe to rule out the wildly in love option. And knowing Lily the way he did, he felt it was also safe to eliminate the giving up option. She was not the quitting type. Lily looked at him expectantly, as if waiting for him to say something, but he did not know what to say. Why was she so demanding? She was impossible to please. Lily let out a loud sigh.

"Was there something else you wanted?" She asked at last, looking at him with a very curious expression on her face. James did not know what to make of her. Was it anger, irritation, annoyance, frustration, or just disappointment? He could not tell. Perhaps Sirius would have some insight.

"No, nothing at all." James said at last, exiting the room. As soon as the door had closed, Lily collapsed on her bed. She wanted to like him, it would make things so much simpler for her. He obviously was still infatuated with her, which was flattering considering that he was probably the most popular guy in Hogwarts, but she could not get past his bullying, or his ego. Last year she had thought she could get past it and overcome that, but he was different this year. When they were alone she saw flashes of the old James, but it seemed that whenever he was in a group he was desperately trying to show off and save face with his friends. She sighed again, running her fingers through her hair. It would make everything so much simpler if he would stop paying attention to her the way he did. Although, she had to admit that if she were perfectly honest with herself she had grown accustomed to his flattery and flirtations. She had almost grown to expect them, and was sad when they did not come. It was all too confusing. Maybe she should just tell Holly to seduce him and stop worrying about him altogether. It was too bad that he had a sensitive side. It would be much eaier to hate him if he were always an arrogant prat. Lily, tired of contemplating her feelings, decided to write a letter to Hazel, explaining the situation that Potter's stupidity had put her in.

Lily stayed in her room for as long as possible. She had to emerge for dinner as a curtosy, and sat politely and participated in the conversation, if minimally. She was very stiff and sat with a ramrod straight back, smiling only slightly and not laughing. She never looked at James, and only glanced at Sirius. She did, however, mean to talk to him about Hazel.

After the meal she went straight back to her bedroom and did not reply to the knocks on the door later in the evening. She heard James and Sirius asking her to play at cards or pool, but she pretneded to be sleeping and they soon abandoned their attempts. The next morning she did not come out of her room and managed to avoid all human contact until mid afternoon.

"Lily?" Lily recognized Anne's voice, and opened the door. "Oh, you're awake. We had grown worried about you. We thought maybe you were ill. You were so quiet at dinner and then you went to bed so early..." Anne said, looking concernedly at Lily.

"Oh, well yes, I did feel a bit peeky." Lily told her, smiling a little. It was, of course, not true. She felt in perfect health, she was just irate and upset. She was supposed to be with her family right now. They needed her. But instead, thanks to Potter and his arrogance and his refusal to think of anyone besides himself, she was instead at the Potter's. She liked Mr. and Mrs. Potter, she just did not want to be here, and did not want to be with James. "Are you feeling okay now?" Anne asked, placing her hand on Lily' forehead.

"Oh, yes. I feel fine." Lily told her.

"Well, you don't feel warm." Anne admitted, withdrawing her hand. "Would you like to talk about anything? Your father?" Anne suggested.

"No, thank you." Lily said, knowing that she was sounding distant, but unable to do anything about it.

"Well, you know that if you deside you need anything, dear, I'll be only too willing to talk." Anne told her, smiling a motherly smile.

"Of course, thank you." Lily said, smiling again. She doubted that she would want to talk any time in the future. What she really wanted was to analyze her feelings for James, but she somehow did not think that Anne would be the optimum person to discuss that with. So instead she made her excuses and withdrew into the solace of her room. She had not drawn the curtains, so she was sitting in the gloom on her unmade bed, not doing aything.

She decided that perhaps she should take a shower, and so she moved from sitting in the dark on her bed to sitting in the half light of the bathroom with water pounding on her back. She did not know why she felt so sad. She wanted to say that it was her mother's mental breakdown, but she knew that wasn't completely it. She could not identify the emotion. She just felt rather tired and fatigued and disgruntled with life. The year was not turning out the way she had anticipated.

Lily again went down to dinner and sat mostly in silence throughout the meal. After the meal she drew Sirius aside. She wanted to talk to him about Hazel. They walked to his bedroom, closing the door before James could catch up or ask where they were going. "What's up?" Sirius asked her, siting cross legged on his bed and brushing his hair out of his eyes.

"Hazel. You told her you loved her?" Lily asked. She was sure that she saw Sirius blushing. He never blushed. He was always cool and alooof and confident. He never blushed. He was above embarassment. Everything he did was, in his eyes, perfect, and nothing would merrit embarassment. So why was he suddenly self conscious?

"Yes." He said at last, almost whispering.

"Why?" Lily asked, confused. There was no doubt that he had some alterior motive. She liked Sirius, they were becoming friends, but she did not think of him as the steady, loving type.

"I hadn't really thought of saying out loud. If just sort of came out. It wasn't a plan or anything." Sirius told her uncomfortably.

"So...you love her?" Lily asked incredulously.

"I think I do." Sirius admitted, surprising even himself.

"And what are you going to do about it?" Lily asked him curiously.

"The same thing James did?" Sirius suggested.

"What does that mean?" Lil asked him.

"Well, when James decided that he loved you, he never stopped did he? He hasn't given up yet. Very persistant, that one. So I suppose I'll just wait around until Hazel comes around. Only thing I can do." Sirius told her. Lily nodded, not really thinking about the last part of what he had said. She now had something else to dwell upon while she was cooped up alone in her room. James loved her? Impossible. If he did then he wouldn't be such an arrogant prat. But..on the other hand, he was very persistant. And always there. But, she argued with herself, if he loved me, then why does he date so many other girls all the time? Get out of that one, Potter! Lily challenged her mind, before realizing that he could not read her thoughts, and that even if he could he was not there.

Almost in a trance she walked down the hall to her bedroom and shut the door, crawling into bed. She woke up a few hours later and wrote to Hazel. She didn't mention James, she instead filled her letter with questions about Hazel's holiday. She did not mention her conversation with Sirius either, wanting to keep his confidence a private matter.

Lily followed pretty much this same pattern every day, although as the days passed she started to come out of her room earlier and spending time with Anne. She almost managed to convince herself that it was summer again and they were having the companiable chats and gossips that they had had four months previously. Almost. She also started to do homework in the afternoons, rather than sleeping all day and staring into space.

One day, nearing the end of her first week, the subject of the Rupert's party was breached. Lily, thus far, had successfully avoided speaking to James almost completely. She had been forced to ask him to pass the salt one night, and said excuse me on one other occasion. But other than that sshe had frozen him out completely. "So, Lily, I assume you did not bring any dress robes back from Hogwarts?" Anne asked her.

"Well, at the time I was unaware that there would be a party." Lily reminded her.

"Of course. Well, you can borrow some of my robes, or we can go shopping." Anne suggested.

"I don't know if I'll even go to the party." Lily told her. Anne pulled a horrified face. "I mean, I'm still feeling a little ill." Lily told her.

"Of course you'll go to the party. James will be your escort. I know you two are in a bit of a tiff at the moment, but it's nothing that won't work itself out." Anne reassured her. "You two are such a cute couple."

"Anne, we're not-" Lily told started to tell her, but was cut off. "I know, I know, you two are taking a bit of a break at the moment, James told me. But I'm sure that you two will make nice sooner or later. He's really sorry for whatever it is he did, you know, Lily. He didn't say exactly what it was, but he is sorry. I can always tell. And I always say that there's nothing like a good party to make your blues melt away. Well, actually, that's the first time I've ever said that. But you get the idea. So of course you two will go together, no questions. I think that you should buy a new dress." Anne told her. Throughout this speak Lily was making spluttering noises and trying to protest, but she could not get a word in edgewise. At the mention of buying a new dress, Lily looked down and blushed.

"I can't buy a new dress. Perhaps I should just borrow one of your dress robes." Lily said hesitantly.

"Don't be silly, everyone should wear a new dress." Anne told her. "You don't want to wear one of my old things."

"I'm sure they're lovely. I love all of you're clothes." Lily told her sincerely.

"That's very kind of you, but they probably wouldn't even fit. You're much taller than me." Anne told her. She had a point. Lily was a few inches taller than Anne at least. Lily sighed.

"I really cannot buy a new dress." Lily impressed upon her.

"Why ever not?" Anne asked her.

"Because I don'thaveanymoney." Lily told her quickly, slurring the words together.

"What was that dear?" Anne asked, not having been able to disipher the unintelligible words.

"I don't have the money," Lily said more slowly, looking down bashfully.

"Oh!" Anne said, gasping with comprehension. "Well why didn't you say something? That's not problem at all. I can pay for it, dear." Anne said, laughing a little.

"No, you most certainly will not buy me a dress." Lily told her.

"Don't be silly." Anne told her lightly.

"I won't accept it, and I won't wear it." Lily told her.

"Well, in that case I suppose you'd best borrow one of my old things." Anne said with a sigh. Lily agreed and they made arrangements to go through Anne's wardrobe later that day. Anne then excused herself, saying that she had to Floo someone. Lily returned to the sanctuary of her bedroom and found her owl waiting for her with a letter from Hazel.

Dear Lily, Thanks for your letters. James is an idiotic prat, just forget about it. I'm sure that your mother and sister will be fine. If they're not, then next break you can come to my house. Not that you would really want to. Nothing terribly exciting happens here...ever. All I do is go to the park with my brother. It snowed though, so that's fun. There's not really much else to tell, besides of course happy Christmas. Well, I hope you have a good holdiay, Hazel

Lily re-read her letter, searching for any hint of her feelings towards Sirius, but there was none. She also looked for what Hazel was really thinking, about James, about her holidays, about anything, but the letter was completly void of all emotion. Lily put the letter in her bag and flopped onto the bed. Later in the afternoon, Lily went to Anne's bedroom and tapped on the door.

"Lily, perfect timing." Anne said. Lily noticed a large, rectangular parcel on her bed. It appeared to be unopened.

"What's that?" Lily asked, eyeing the parcel suspisciously.

"Oh, it's one of my old dress robes that I just pulled out of the attic." Anne told her with a jovial wave of her hand. "I think it should fit you." Anne added, untying the ribbon on the package. Lily gasped at the dress inside was revealed. It was a deep emerald green, almost exactly the shade of her eyes. It had a narrow waiste and looked to be floor length. Lily knew at once that it would never fit Anne, it would be far too long. The dress had a low V neckline, and little diamonds on the edge of the neck. "Do you like it?" Anne asked.

"It's beautiful, Anne, but..." Lily started, but could not find the words.

"What? What's wrong? Is it the color? The length? It's too simple, isn't it? I told him that he should find something flashier..."

"No, it's perfect, I love it. But, Anne, this never would have fit you. It's brand new too. This has never been worn." Lily observed, taking the fabric in her hands and feeling the softness of it.

"Well, no. I had it made, but it was too long so I never wore it." Anne told her, not meeting her eyes.

"You bought me a new dress, didn't you?" Lily demanded.

"All right, fine, I did." Anne confessed.

"Anne!" Lily protested. "You should not have done that. This must have been really expensive. We need to return it." Lily told her.

"We can't, it's nonrefundable." Anne told her. Lily opened and closed her mouth like a fish, trying to find another argument.

"I can't wear this." She said at last. "I can't pay for this."

"Don't be silly, you don't have to pay for it." Anne told her. "It's the least I could do for James's girlfriend." Anne added with a wink.

"But I'm not James's girlfriend!" Lily said, raising her voice. Why did everyone insist on thinking that? Why had he had to kiss her and hold her hand and all that? Anne just nodded and smiled knowingly.

"Well, try it on. Let's see how it looks." Anne shooed her into her massive closet so that she could try the dress on. It fit perfectly, but Lily was not sure that she felt comfortable wearing something so low and...revealing. She had to admit though, after seeing herself in the mirror, she looked hott. Lily emerged from the closet in the dress, smiling a little despite herself. "Wow, Lily, it fits perfectly!" Anne exclaimed, motioning with her finger for Lily to turn in a circle. Lily did, beaming now. She couldn't help but feel pleased.

"Well, I'll have no more arguments, you have to have that dress." Anne told her. Lily did not argue anymore as she changed out of the dress and brought it back to her room.

The big night was in three days, but Lily could not deny her excitement anymore, even if she would have to go with James. She would be able to find Caroline the moment they arrived and escape any contact with him.

This plan, however, failed. The moment they arrived, after Lily had scanned the already large crowd for any sign of Caroline,she found her on the dance floor with Ben. This put a slight glitch in her plans. But perhaps Alice was here. Lily found Alice soon after, dancing with Frank. She siged, resigning herself to he inevidible. She would probably have to dance at least once with James. Anne and Mr. Potter had already disappeared to dance or find friends, Lily did not know which, leaving Sirius James and herself to do as they pleased.

James had already told her how beautiful she looked, Lily had ignored him, so there was no real topic for discussion. "Well, would you like to dance?" James asked lamely, looking nervously at Lily, obviously afraid she would become angry.

"No." She replied shortly, looking away.

"I thought you told me you forgave me." James told her. When Lily looked at him out of the corner of her eyes, she saw that he was pouting slightly. It almost made her want to laugh, the expression on his face.

"I lied." Lily told him, starting to walk away, but James followed her, Sirius trailing in his wake. Seeing that she would not be able to escape James, she turned to Sirius. "Would you like to dance, Sirius?" Lily asked him. Sirius looked extremely confused and did not know how to reply. If he said yes, James would be mad. But if he said no, James would be mad that he had rejected lily, and Lily would be mad that he had rejected her. Weighing his options, the only choice was to say yes.

"Er...sure." He said, James glared at him angrily, but said nothing. Sirius led Lily onto the dance floor. The band was playing a waltz, so he put his hand around her back and took her other hand in his.

"What was that?" He asked as Lily gazed at the floor, concentrating on the dance steps.

"What?" Lily asked. "Oh, you mean asking you to dance?" Lily asked, smiling a little.

"Yes." Sirius confirmed.

"I needed to get rid of James." Lily explained.

"Why?" Sirius asked.

"Er, because I hate him? Because he's an arrogant prat?" Lily asked, stepping on Sirius's foot and looking back at the floor.

"Just let me lead!" Sirius told her in exasperation as she stepped on his foot again.

"Sorry, I'm not very good at dancing." Lily told him.

"I noticed." Sirius muttered. "Okay, stop being a control freak and just let me lead." Sirius told her, tightening his grip on her waist and pulling her closer. They started out going slowly, and then once Lily got the hang of it they began to keep time with the music. "Very good." SIrius observed after the went for a whole song without Lily stepping on him once.

"Thanks" Lily said, slightly flushed and smiling. "It's because I had such a great teacher." She told him, smiling. "So why are you such a good dancer, anyway?" Lily asked as they took their positions for the next song.

"My parents thought that all gentlemen should know how to dance." Sirius explained.

"I repeat, why are you a good dancer?" Lily asked. Sirius laughed after thinking about what she had said for a moment.

"Because my parents thought that all pure blooded wizards should be gentlemen." He told her.

"So did you have to take all kinds of dancing lessons?" Lily asked him, laughing. She could now dance and talk at the same time, and was able to look at Sirius rather than the floor.

"Of course I did. They made me take piano too, at one point." Sirius added, laughing a little.

"They did? You play piano? I never knew that." Lily told him, following his lead and stepping backwards. She fumbled slightly, but only for a moment, Sirius kept her on balance.

"Oh, no. I don't play the piano. I said they made me take lessons at one point. The teacher quit eventually, they all did. It didn't take long to convince them that I had no musical talent whatsoever, and that I was too much trouble to be worth teaching." Sirius told her.

"What did you do?" Lily asked, a mixture of being amused and horrified.

"Oh, the usual. Banged really loud on the keys. When I really didn't like the teacher I would leave mice and rats in the music room. I would put pine cones on their seats, tamper with the keys so that they were all out of tune and then close the lid of the piano on their heads when they looked inside the piano, that type of thing." Sirius told her. Lily laughed.

"Your poor teachers! That must have been awful for them." Lily said.

"Well, yes I suppose. But not as awful as the lesons were for me." Sirius told her sheepishly.

"What did your parents do?" Lily asked him in an almost whisper.

"Got extremely mad, locked me in my room, didn't let me eat meals for a few days, and eventually got over it." Sirius told her off handedly. Lily did not reply, there was a look of piy in her eyes. She did not know what to say, there was nothing to say. She looked down at the floor again, concentrating on the steps. "Stop looking down, it makes you mess up. Look here, right in my eyes." Sirius told her.

"Okay." She said, complying. She tripped a little, but SIrius's hand on her back held her upright and kept her moving in time with the music.

"I think I know someone else who wants to dance with you." Sirius told her pointedly, glancing over her shoulder to where James was standing by the drinks, looking murderously at Sirius. "Don't you think it's time you two made up?" Sirius asked.

"No." Lily said shortly, frowning, her brow furrowed.

"Why not?" Sirius asked her. "He's crazy over you, you know." Sirius reminded her. Lily sighed.

"Why? Why can't he just like someone else?" Lily asked.

"I don't know. I don't even think he knows." Sirius told her.

"Well it's stupid and he should get over it, because there's never going to be anything there." Lily informed him irritably.

"Isn't there?" Sirius asked mildly, causing Lily to look at him more closely. His face revealed nothing.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Lily asked sharply.

"Nothing very important. Just that we already know that you two make a good couple, why never again?" Sirius asked. Lily did not have an answer to that, although she did tell herself that it was because this James was different, and she didn't like the change. He had grown too big headed. They danced for a while without speaking, Lily staring at a point on the cieling. "Look, Lily, I see a table of food over there, so I'm going to go scope it out." Sirius said at last, stepping away from her and releasing her.

"Oh, right. Okay." Lily said as she watched him leave. She had known that they would not be able to dance for the entire night, of course, but she had hoped that she would be able to avoid James a little longer.

"May I have this dance?" Asked James from behind her.

"No." Lily replied shortly.

"Oh, come on Lily." James entreated. "Moonshine?" James asked. Lily, who had been walking away, turned sharply on her heel to face him, her eyes flaming and her lips pursed.

"Don't call me that." She ordered, turning to leave again.

"Why not? You used to let me call you that." James commented, catching her wrist in his hand and pulling her back towards him. "Lily, please don't make this a big row. Just one dance?" James asked. Lily did not reply, although they did begin dancing. She barely even touched his shoulder, and she did not look in his eyes.

"I used to do a lot of things. Things have changed." Lily observed.

'Like what?" James asked.

"Like you," Lily told him.

"You always say that, but it's not true. I'm the same James now that I always was." James told her.

"No, Potter, you aren't. The old James was considerate, and thought of people other than himself. This you," she refused to say his name, "is mean, bullies younger students just because he's a Slytherin, thinks that because he's some quiddich star he has the right to walk all over people and get what he wants." Lily told him.

"Lily, I don't do all that." James told her, horrified.

"I've seen you Potter. Don't lie to me. I've seen you hexing people, don't think I haven't. And that snake incedent? You didn't even stop and consider the ramifications." Lily told him, pulling her hand away.

"Is that all this is about?" James asked her.

"Of course that's not all this is about. Go away Potter, I don't feel like dancing anymore." Lily told him, walking off the dance floor.

She disappeared in the crowd and managed to escape James, who had begun to follow her. She looked around the dance floor from her position next to the punch table and saw a few girls who she recognized by sight as Hogwarts students a few years below her in Ravenclaw. Most of the party  
were adults, however. Lily spotted Sirius looking very uncomfortable, cornered by some of the girls she had seen, all of whom were sighing and flicking their hair, beaming at Sirius. They were obviously, much like most of the girls at Hogwarts, completely infatuated with him. Lily saw James join Sirius, accompanied by his own pack of followers. He rumpled his hair to make it look windswept, something he had been doing more and more frequently, smiling at the girls who her giggling at him.

'He's so obvious. He loves the attention. His ego is so huge.' Lily thought to herself, snorting and looking away. 'I hope that they have fun with him.'  
Lily thought derisively. A moment later, when she looked back, she saw that James was dancing with one of his many admirers, as was Sirius. She was not surprised to see that they were both enjoying the attention imensely.

In the recent weeks James and Sirius had become mini icons at Hogwarts. Their little group of friends, which included Sirius, James, Reums, and Peter, were referred to as the Marauders of Hogwarts. They were known for their pranks on teachers and students alike. Needless to say, Lily absolutely hated it. Their nicknames for each other were known by everyone, Prongs, Padfoot, Moony, and Wormtail. Lily still did not understand the nicknames, and she really did not care any more. She had never expected it of Remus, but he was as big a part of the pranks as the others were. And he was a prefect too! They had emerged as the leaders for Gryffindor in the raging war between Gryffindor and Slytherin. The snake was merely one of  
the many things they had done.

They had once, during a potions class, mixed a dye into all of the Slytherin ingredients. The Slytherins had all recieved bad grades for their potions work because Professor Inkbeat had thought that they had been doing to work wrong. During a defense against the dark arts lesson, they had caused the inkpots of the Slytherin students to explode, showering them with  
ink. In Herbology they had been repotting mandrakes when James and Sirius had caused the earmuffs of a few select Slytherins (Severus, Lucious, and Antonin) to disappear. Fortunately the mandrakes were young, so they had only been knocked out for a few hours, but it had been foolish and dangerous.

There were also the things that occured outside of classes, such as bewitching suit of armor to sing rude songs which prominently featured rude sayings about Slytherins. They had also charmed the plates at the  
Slytherin tables to fly out of reach of the Sltherin students every time that they went to take a bite of food. Most of the house found these things terribly amusing, and laughed uproariously every time any of the marauders entered a room, but Lily on the other hand found these pranks stupid and irritating. The marauders were the heroes of Gryffindor tower.

James was a hero in the quiddich world too. There was nothing they could not have, nothing they could not do. It was really no surprise that they had big egos. Lily could hardly blame them, really. But that did not change the fact that they were arrogant and stupid.

Lily managed to avoid James for the rest of the evening. She did not get a chance to really talk to Caroline. She saw her briefly, and Caroline had expressed her surprise at seeing Lily, but then she had been dragged away to take family pictures. Lily had spotted Alice, but Alice did not see her. It was a big party, after all.

"Would you like to dance?" asked a deep voice from her left somewhere. It was neither James nor Sirius, so Lily felt it was safe to turn. It was Cooper Daniels, the Ravenclaw quiddich captain and chaser. He was very handsome, tall, very tall, much taller than Lily, and had dark eyes and hair. He smiled, Lily returned the smile warmly. She had always liked Cooper Daniels. Well, she liked the little she knew about him.

"Sure." She said, taking his hand. "But I'll warn you now, I'm not a very good dancer," she told him.

"I'm sure you're an excellent dancer," he assured her. He led her onto the dance floor, and she was greatful for Sirius's lessons as soon as they began dancing. She let him lead and the dancing steps came easily. They talked amiably about school, lessons, and professors. Professor Tonks was his favorite teacher, but care of magical creatures was his favorite class. Apparently he had actually managed to touch a unicorn, a rarity for males, which had made him decide to like the subject after all. Professor Kettleburn was a close second for favorite teacher.

Lily, when asked, told him that professor Inkbeat used to be her favorite teacher, but the tension between the two houses had ruined her relationship with her. She said that she also liked professor Tonks, but that professor Binns was her favorite teacher. She said that she loved history of magic and  
was taking it as an additional elective class, not for her NEWT requirement.

"You like Binns? But he's so old." Cooper said, pulling an expression of disgust.

"He's not that old, and I love the subject matter." Lily explained. "Besides, Kettleburn is not exactly spritely." Lily reminded him.

"That's true, but he only seems old because of that accident." Cooper told her. "He's not actually that old."

"I felt so badly for him when I heard about his arm. It's too bad. How does he manage to keep teaching with only one arm?" Lily asked.

"Well, he sort of hangs back from the animals and lets Hagrid take his classes when he's dealing with the more dangerous animals. Hagrid loves dangerous animals." Cooper explained.

"I don't know Hagrid that well. When I first came to Hogwarts I was so scared of him, and then there was never really occasion to go down and meet him, so I don't think I've ever really spoken to him." Lily told Cooper regretfully.

"Really? I'll take you down to meet him sometime when we go back to school." Cooper offered. "He's a really nice guy, even if he is a bit big." Cooper told her.

"Why is he so big like that?" Lily asked.

"I don't know, I always assumed that he got on the bad end of an enlargement spell or something. Maybe he just has big bones." Cooper told her. Lily smiled at him. This was nice, talking to him like this. "But I wouldn't ask if I were you, I think it's somewhat of a sore point with him. He doesn't talk about it much."

"So, Lily, why are you here? I thought that you would be going back to the muggle world for the holidays." Cooper told her.

"I'm staying with the Potters." Lily mumbled darkly.

"Oh." Cooper sounded a little disappointed for some reason. "Are you and James still an item then? Where is he?" Cooper asked Lily, looking around.

"Heavens no! Everyone thinks that. James and I are not together. We are over. That was only for about a day last year. We were friends at the begginging of the year, and now we're not even that." Lily assured  
him. Cooper looked slightly relieved.

"I was afraid he would hex me into oblivion if he came back and found me dancing with his girlfriend." Cooper said.

"No way." Lily told him.

"But then, why are you staying with them?" Cooper asked her. Lily sighed and told him the whole story including everything about her father dying up until currently. She left out a few details, such as the room of requirement, and her lessons with Dumbledore, but she told him most of the story. She forgot to mention the minor detail of why the death eaters had killed her father, but Cooper was not focusing on that.

"I'm so sorry." He told her, looking sympathetic. "Don't be. It's fine. Can we talk about something else?" Lily asked. Cooper nodded and began regailing her with stories of his younger brothers. Lily found herself laughing and thouroughly enjoying his company.

Lily did not see James again until they went home that night by Floo, but he saw her from across the dance floor. He looked murderously at the back of Cooper Daniel's head. If looks could have killed, Cooper would have died a thousand times over. James would have to sort him out when they got back to school.

**Authors Note: I am soooo sorry to have kept all of you waiting this long! I appologize profusely. I had computer issues and then just had these chapters sitting in my document manager for ages and ages, about two months actually, so i'll be posting the next chapters tonight or tomorrow. I am sooo sorry! There was also a slight complication when I lsot half of the chapter and then had the other chapters after it all ready but couldn't post them because half of this was missing and refusing to upload...ah what a nightmare. Anyway, review if you still love me/are stil lreading this story! Which I doubt anyone is, but that's ok. **


	21. Remus's Christmas

**Author's Note: Heyy guys, I've been posting a lot lately, but no one's been reviewing so I'm guessing no one's reading this anymore...anyway now I'm just in this to get up to over 100,000 words. You'll be pleased to know (those of you reading this anyway) thatI have now completed this story and am working on the next one. Yes there is a sequal, even though at this point I'm the only one who cares. AnywayI have written over 400 pages and much more that100,000 words, so now I merely have to post them...well I hope you all like this chapter, although i find it quite boring. And I hope it isn't too unlikely...**

Chapter 21

Remus's Christmas

Remus, after getting off the train at King's Cross, met his parents and left for home. He had no siblings, he had been bitten by the werewolf at a young age, and his parents had then decided not to have any more children in order to avoid the risk of Remus biting them.

Remus unloaded his bags in his bedroom and flopped with a sigh on his bed. It would be a long vacation, with a full moon too. He did not know what he would do without his friends to transform with him. True, he had managed for years before they became unregistered animargi, but during his transformations with them he could control himself, more or less. He seemed to retain a portion of his human mind when he transformed with his friends, which made it so much more bearable. But Peter was at his house for the holidays, and James and Sirius were at the Potter's house, and Remus was alone for this transformation.

He sighed, not knowing where he would go to stay out of harms way. Doubtless his parents would drive him just before sundown to the closed off animal reserve that was only a few miles from their home. They had moved here for just that reason after the bite. Remus cringed, thinking back to that night so many years ago.

He had been five years old, although he liked to think of himself as much older. On this particular night he was walking around the house in his fathers much too large shoes and carrying a walking stick that was kept in the front hall. Not that either of his parents actually used walking sticks, but his mother had taken a fancy to this particular one. It had an elephants head carved out of ebony on the handle and was made of hard oak. She had fallen in love with it when she saw it and had bought it immediately, not caring about how impractical it was.

"Remus, take those shoes off," his father said, glancing up from the paper as his son approached noisely. He was not mad, he was smiling, his eyes crinkling as he looked at his son. He ran his fingers through his beard, looking speculatively at Remus. "I don't think they quite fit you yet, son. One day though, when you take on the buisness, then you'll be able to fill my shoes nicely."

Remus ran, as well as he could run in shoes that were much too large for his small feet, to his father, who scooped him into his lap.

"Remie, where's your new toy?" his mother asked, looking over at the two from her position behind the counter. She was preparing dinner. Since it was the winter the sun set early, making it appear much later than it was. It was, in fact, barely 6 o'clock in the evening. "Why don't you go fetch it and show your daddy?" she suggested.

"Gotten a new toy, have you?" Mr. Lupin asked, chuckling. "You do spoil him, darling," he commented to his wife.

"Go fetch it, Remie, show daddy your new toy," Mrs. Lupin said again.

Remus smiled, excited at the prospect of showing off his new toy. "I'm sure your dad would love to play with you," Mrs. Lupin encouraged. Remus smiled even more widely. He loved playing with his father.

His face fell then. The new toy was outside in the yard, where he had dropped it when his father had arrived home. And now it was dark.

"What's wrong, son?" Mr. Lupin asked. "You haven't lost it already, have you?" he asked, chuckling.

"It's outside," Remus muttered in hushed tones almost afraid of even mentioning the darkness that had been creeping up for the past hours engulfing and enveloping his house in a shroud of blackness. Everything was scarier in the dark, even his own home. The darkness was so opressive, it trapped one in the house or in one's bed. He had not liked the darkstretching as far backas he could remember. He looked upathis father again, and then quickly looked awayagain, embarassed by his fear.

"Just in the yard?" Mrs.Lupin asked. "It won't take a moment, run and fetch it darling," she prodded.

"I don't want to go out there all alone," Remus said, struggling with himself. He was not fond of the dark.

"But it's a full moon tonight, barely any dark at all," Mr. Lupin told his son, smiling. "Go on, Remus, be a man. Be brave," he said. Remus smiled.

His father was brave, of that he was sure. His father would never be afraid to go outside and fetch a ball from the yard. His father would have run outside right away, never hesitating. A desperate desire to prove to his father that he was a man, and that he was brave, came over the small boy, overwhelming his mind. He hopped to the floor and strutted towards the door. As brave as he attempted to appear, he hesitated with his hand on the knob. He glanced over his shoulder, and saw his mother and father smiling encouragingly at him. His spirits boistered again, Remus pushed the door open and let himself into the front yard.

It was very dark, he thought to himself as he rumaged in the grass to find his new ball. And cold, he added as the wind whipped through the trees. He could not find the ball in the spot he remembered having dropped it, but perhaps it had rolled into the cluster of bushes next to the house. He could not see very well, despite the full moon, so he was on his hands and knees in the slightly damp grass, feeling for his ball.

He had just placed his hand on something that felt promisingly round and rubbery when he heard a growl issuing forth from the bushes. Remus, startled, looked up. There were two yellow orbs glowing in front of him. He screamed and the werewolf pounced.

That was the last thing Remus remembered about that night. The events that had followed were somewhat of a blur. He remembered crying, painful transformations, being alone in the woods at night in the dark, although to his wolf eyes it did not appear so dark, leaving his home and friends for this new, strange place.

At that time, when professor Dippet was headmaster of Hogwarts, there had not been much hope of Remus ever going to school and getting a proper education. But then, as if by some miracle, they were contacted by the newly appointed headmaster of Hogwarts right before the start of the term Remus would have been going to if he were an ordanairy boy. Albus Dumbledore offered hope. He showed a way it could be done, offered Remus a normal life. Remus and his parents, needless to say, jumped at the chance.

And now here he was. Lying on his bed, staring at the cieling, remembering the night when he had been five. That was nearly twelve years ago now, as Remus was slightly older than the other students in his year. Twelve years of fear, painful transforamtions, constant dread of that time of month when he would have to go alone into the woods and become a monster, feared by all.

That was the way it had been until James Potter and Sirius Black had discovered his secret and put their brilliant minds at work helping him. And Peter of course, although Peter had needed a lot of help even just turning into a small creature such as a rat. They had saved him.

There was no hope now, of course, of Remus ever filling his father's shoes and taking over the buisness. That would be out of the question. His father's buisness was well established and well respected, if it were to be taken over by a werewolf and people found out, well it would be unthinkable. The company would completely flop. At least, that was what Remus had heard his father saying to his mother before he left for Hogwarts when he was about ten.

Remus, although hurt, knew that his father was right. He had resigned himself to a life alone, a life of fear and hiding. He resorted instead to books, at least those he could not hurt. He knew, even at ten, that people would never feel safe around him. He knew he would never be normal, that he would always have to be careful.

But that too had been before James and Sirius. They had helped him out of that. He had friends, great friends, the best friends in the world. They were loved by all who met them, with the possible exception of the Slytherins and Lily Evans.

Remus sighed, thinking of James's Lily problem. He desperately wanted to help James with that, seeing as it was mostly his fault that they weren't together. He just did not know how.

"It would be a lot easier if James weren't such a prat-ish berk..." Remus thought cynically to himself. Remus was sure that if James were to give up his bullying, womanizing, flirting, and arrogance, Lily would adore him.

But then, when Remus thought of that, he realized that it would be impossible for James to do that. And it was silly to even think it. James would never be able to deflate his ego. He was a marauder, a ruler of Hogwarts. Remus shook his head. But, if Lily could see beyond the prat-ish exterior to the true James inside, as his friends had managed to do, albeit before his head had become so inflated, she would probably give him another chance.

"What to do?" Remus asked out loud, puzzling over how to make Lily like James. They were just too unlikely of a couple. Now himself and Lily, that he could see. They had similar interest, tastes, opinions...but then again, we might get bored with each other, Remus thought practically. People who are too similar would not do well together, he reminded himself.

Lily was a striaght arrow, she always did the right thing, she was good. And James was, well, to put it as nicely as possible, not. He was always sneeking off grounds in his invisibility cloak, going to the kitchens and begging food off the houselves, pranking and hexing Slytherins, and generally causing trouble. Remus, although he did not usually take part in these excursions, was always privy to what was going to happen beforehand. And of course he was always there on the full moon. And he was a marauder, after all.

"Ah well, " he thought, "A different problem for a different time. If I could make James less self centered, he wouldn't be James. That and the world would end. So I suppose he'll just have to get over Lily." Remus said, again out loud.

Remus did not know why he was so fixated on her, anyway. She was pretty, and smart, and kind, and Remus, obviously, saw the attraction to her. Who wouldn't? But James was taking it a bit overboard, wasn't he? He barely knew her. They had had a two day relationship, if that even qualified as a relationship, and other than that had had barely any contact since the second year, when they had had a falling out. Lily had probably forgotten about it by now, but Remus never would. Nor would James, at least not before the day Lily agreed to go out with him.

According to James, it was the day his life had ended. Well, that was what he said when he was being melodramatic, which was frequently.

Flashback to the Second Year, November 22, 1975 (The Day James's Life Ended)

James Potter had never gotten along well with Lily Evans. He did not understand her. She always walked around with her nose in a book, getting people into trouble for breaking rules and snitching to teachers. She had perfect grades too. Part of James hated her. But the other part of James was deeply fascinated by her. She was beautiful in his eyes. He often found himself staring at her dreamily in classes before getting jerked from his reverie by Sirius or Remus. He had alsorecently taken to doodling her name in large and eleborate lettering.

Although only a second year, James was widely recognized throughout the school as a heartthrob and a trouble maker, and as of this year a force to be reckoned with on the Quiddich pitch. His head was big (but not nearly as big as it would become in his sixth year) from the attention and praises that other students showered on him.

Except Lily. It wasn't that she disliked Potter, that was too strong a word for what she felt, which was to say nothing. She found his antics annoying most of the time, and occasionaly mildly amusing. But when one was in the Gryffindor tower reading or studying, the last thing one wanted was to be interupted by raucus laughter, the source of which was always James Potter and Sirius Black. It did not help that James Potter was always acting out for attention. At least that was what it seemed to her. He constantly felt the need to comment after she said anything, even the most average of things. If she said so much as

"well, it's raining today" he would feel the need to be contrary. He would, without fail if he was within hearing range of such comments, say

"not that hard. Jeez, it's just a little rain, Evans," or "no it isn't. That hardly qualifies as rain."

So James Potter bugged her, so what? Lots of people bugged lots of other people. But it wasn't just the commenting on everything she said that got to her. No, it was the gluing the pages of her books shut, the nicking of her homework, which she could always trace to him, the loud and obnocxious things he always said in her presence, the spit balls that he threw at her, the ink he dipped her hair in, the teasing about her red tresses.

The truth was that James Potter knew no other way of getting a girl to pay attention to him, especially a girl like Lily Evans, but he was not very well equipped, at the age of twelve, to handle talking to her civily or asking her out. So he resorted to teasing and slight bullying so that she would look at him, if only distainfully and for brief moments.

"Hey Evans, what are you reading?" James asked, plopping onto the bech beside her in the great hall.

"Sod off, Potter," Lily said cooly, not glancing up from her text.

"Now now Evans, such language. I was merely being polite. Unlike you," James observed casually, looking at Sirius and Remus and smiling. They were sitting beside him now, and looking as if they were anticipating a great show. Lily had become one of their favorite people to torture recently.

"Sod off, Potter," Lily repeated, hoping that if she said it loud and long enough, it would get through his thick skull.

"Tell me what you're reading," James demanded.

"If I do, will you sod off?" Lily asked.

"Sure," James said, crossing his fingers behind his back.

"It's a diary." Lily confessed, glancing back to the words she had written the previous day.

"Why are you reading what you already wrote?" James asked, bewildered and at the same time curious. Painfully curious. Well, you know what they say, curiousity killed the cat.

"I wanted to find out whether or not I did that potions essay or not." Lily told him.

"Of course you did, I could have told you that," James told her, he had seen her writing it the week before.

"How would you know, Potter?" Lily asked.

"I saw you writing it. I asked you what you were writing and you said 'Sod off, Potter', rather like now. And then I made you tell me and you said potions and I sodded off," James replied cheekily. She looked at him skeptically. "So, what do you write in there anyway?" James asked, glancing at the innocent blue book.

"Nothing important," Lily told him, slamming the book shut the moment she suspected him of trying to read it.

"So you wouldn't mind if I took a look?" James asked.

"Of course you can't look at my diary." Lily told him.

"Is there anything about me?" James asked, secretly hoping that there was.

"No, you're not worth the time it would take to articulate the extent of your stupidity," Lily snapped. James, quick as a flash, snatched the book, suddenly consumed with a burning need to know what she had written, and if there was anything about him. "Potter, give that back right now!" Lily shrieked, racing after him through the entrance hall. He ran ahead of her. She eventually caught up, panting, but only because he had stopped and was opening the cover of her diary.

"Lily Evans, September 1, 1974. I just got onto the Hogwarts train, it's rather odd here," James started to read aloud, scanning the page. Lily tackled him upon hearing the words she had written. She punched him hard in the nose. That was the first time in her life she had ever hit anyone, and she gasped, standing up. She grabbed the book and ran away, silently vowing never to speak to Potter again.

She had kept her vow for three years, although Remus could say with some confidence that she would not remember that story if he reminded her. He was fairly certain that all she knew was that she did not speak to Potter any more, and that he avoided her for fear of her wrath. That was, until the fifth year.

It had not been a very important or memorable occasion for her. It had not changed anything. It merely marked the day that James stopped tormenting her, although he did keep up his silent fascination with her. He moaned about her to Remus, Peter, and Sirius constantly. When pressed, he could not even explain what it was about her that he liked so much.

Eventually it was hearing James's constant praise of her that made Remus start thinking of her that way. But by the third year she was dating Severus, and there no longer seemed to be any hope for James. The first opportunity to insert himself into her life again came in the fifth year. Apparently in watching her with Severus his fear that she would hit him again had lessened considerably, and he had built up the nerve to ask her out.It was clear she had no recolection whatsoever of the diary, or why exactly she had avoided Potter for three years. Everyone else seemed to find him charming. The only reasons she could think of were 1. his arrogance and all of the aforementioned bullying and prat-ish behavior. 2. the factthathe had continually tortured her boyfriend. 3.He had a reputation with girls, so to speak.

And then Remus had ruined it for James by kissing her that night. Remus could have pummeled himself. He could not believe how bad of a friend he was, and after all James had done for him too. He felt the urge to write to James that instant, apologizing, but he felt that it would be a little bit late for that. James was not holding a grudge or anything, it was merely Remus's conscience that had the problem. Remus promised himself that he would live to see the day that Lily gave James another chance. Perhaps if he put a good word in when they got back to Hogwarts...

**Author's Note: Anyway I know the bit with Lily and James was random, but I just felt the need to write that...don't know why. But anyway, I have basically given up hope of ever liking my fifth year book, so if this doesn't exacly mesh with that, that would be the reson why. Because I hate my fifth year book. That's why. So leave me a review if you get a chance, you know I love hearing what you think! And please, do not leave reviews poionting out things I said about Lily and James last year, because frankly, I don't care. I'm thinking of deleting that story anyway, because it's rubbish and the writing is crap.   
**


	22. Love Potion

**Author's Note: Hey guys...so this chapter is wicked intense...not gonna lie. I guess it all happens rather fast, but that's only because I wanted to make up for my previously short chapters by making this one extra long, so I crammed it all into one. I hope you like it! **

**p.s. this is my favorite chapter since a long time, and I love it. Haha. Well actually, I haven't read it in a while bc it's just been sitting here, but I rememebr loving it...? Tell me what you think. **

Chapter 22

Love Potion

They had returned to Hogwarts and were just settling back into the steady grind of studying. Well, most of them were. The marauders, with the exception or Remus, were participating in their usual escapades including dating every girl they could see, pranking Slytherins, ditching classes, leaving Hogwarts grounds to do heavens knew what, and picking on younger students.

Lily watched all of this with a crease in her brow and a frown on her face. She had determined herself to put a stop to this. Outside of the safe walls of Hogwarts, the death eaters were becoming more and more of a visible threat. They were abducting and killing muggles at higher frequencies, plunging the muggle and wizarding worlds into disarray. And then, suddenly, about a month after Christmas break had ended, they stopped. It happened just like that. They had not been doing anything big, just killing muggles and leaving the dark mark over their destroyed houses, but there had been no really big attacks on the mass populous. The wizarding world, for the most part, had been left unscathed. This made everyone who was thinking about it very nervous. Dumbledore especially seemed to be constantly on edge, waiting for something to blow up or for students to go missing.

They did not, however. And there were at least three Gryffindor sixth years who were supremely unconcerned with whatever was happening outside the walls of Hogwarts.

Lily had expected better of James, especially after his last close call with the death eaters. Fortunately for him he had survived, but Lily had hoped that it would have taught him that this would effect his life and that it was not a matter to take lightly. She had thought, if only for a brief and fleeting moment, that he would take that lesson to heart and become a better person. But no, in fact he had become a worse person. Well, worse to Lily.

Most of the school save those who bore the brunt of his actions found him quite amusing. Lily did not. There was one thing, however, that took her focus off death eaters and James Potter's assinine behavior.

That was spending time with Cooper Daniels. They talked about everything, classes, death eaters, the future, everything. He was really very nice. Lily knew that Cooper was someone that she should be with, someone she should date. He was practically perfect in every way.

James was not too pleased with this twist in fate. Lily was supposed to be his girl, whether she knew and accepted it or not. Who was this Cooper Daniels fellow to steal her away from him? Well, James actually knew Cooper Daniels quite well. He was the captain of Ravenclaw. But that changed nothing. He was obviously stupid if he were moving in on Lily. She was James's territory, he had thought he had made that perfectly clear. Something would have to be done about this Cooper Daniels fellow, and James felt that he was exactly the person to do it. Perhaps he would enlist the help of his fellow marauders, this Daniels fellow would soon learn what happened when you messed with Potter's girl.

Potter's girl, he rather liked the way that sounded. Lily Potter. Mr. and Mrs. James Potter. It sounded too good to let it just disappear like that. He would not lose Mrs. Lily Potter to Daniels. Lily Daniels did not sound half as decent, he told himself.

Just then James saw Sirius enter the common room, and James decided that he needed reassurance that he was right, Lily Daniels did not sound half so nice as Lily Potter.

"I doesn't sound half as good, does it mate?" James asked as Sirius flopped down beside him.

"What?" Sirius asked, glancing casually from beneath the lock of hair that was falling gracefully in his eyes.

"Her name, it doesn't sound nearly as nice as it does with mine, right?" James asked, seeking confirmation.

"What are you going on about? Whose name? Who is 'he'?" Sirius asked, looking bewildered.

"Lily Daniels," James said, sighing with impatience, "it doesn't sound nearly as nice as Lily Potter, right?" James asked. Sirius began to laugh more and more loudly. "It's not funny." James protested as Sirius's bark like laughter reached unworldly decibles.

"Yes it is, mate. You've been going on about that bloke for ages. Ever since Christmas. Get over it, why don't you?" Sirius asked him, subsiding at last and gasping for breath.

"I can't," James said sulkily.

"Then do something about it, and by the way I think Daniels has a nice ring to it." Sirius told him teasingly. James, however, did not find this at all amusing. He punched Sirius hard in the arm before standing up.

"I will do something about it," James assured Sirius. "Right now in fact," he added, without the faintest idea what it was he was going to do.

"What are you going to do?" Sirius asked, excitement and a slight tinge of fear were in his voice.

"Come with me and I'll show you. Want to help?" James asked. Sirius looked eager with anticipation. The two left the common room, making their way to the boys sixth year dormitory, leaving the common room much more subdued and quiet than it had been when they were there. Wherever they went, chaos insued.

"What are we doing up here? Lily's not here," Sirius observed. "Unless, you didn't kidnap her did you? Because if you did, Prongs, then you're taking stalker to a whole new level." Sirius told him.

"I am not a stalker." James insisted, rummaging in his trunk for something.

"You are too," Sirius countered as James gave up on his trunk, moving to under the bed.

"Am not!" He yelled, his voice muffled due to the fact that his entire torso was under the bed, throwing clothing articles away from him. A Quiddich jumper hit Sirius square in the face.

"Ew, how long has this been under there?" Sirius sked, pulling a face and holding it away from him at arms length. "And you are too a stalker."

"No quite sure, and I am not," James told him.

"Yes, mate, you are," Sirius informed him.

"I'm not times a million, I win, I quit." James told him, smiling smugly as he rose, triumphantly gripping a grubby scrap of parchment in his hands. Sirius looked annoyed.

"You may win, but that doesn't change the fact that you're a stalker." Sirius told him, taking the map from James and tapping it with his wand as James grumbled irritably under his breath.

"That's not fair! I already quit," James told him. "You cheated," he said reproachfully.

"I started a new round. You won the last one, fine, but I win this one and now I quit so there." Sirius accompanied this statement with a loud wet raspberry that sprayed all over James. Sirius took advantage of James's grumbles and the fact that he was otherwise occupied with wiping spit off his face with his sleeve to snatch the map from his friend and tap it. "I solemly swear that I am up to no good," Sirius added, poking it again. "Lucky Remus thought up that clever little charm. Imagine what Edgar would say if he found this lying around," Sirius said, smiling and scanning the map at the same time as the ink lines spread across the parchement, revealing a perfectly detailed map of Hogwarts.

"Yes, but the other reason was so that if Peter tripped and dropped it right in front of Mrs. Norris again Filtch wouldn't know what he had found if he picked it up. Remeber last time?" James asked.

"'Course I do. That was a close call. You didn't nick that map of the floor a moment too soon, either. Mrs. Norris would have slobbered all over it." Sirius said, passing the map to James. "She's in the library, Mr. Stalker," Sirius added at James's inquisitive expression. James opened his mouth to argue when Sirius added, "he's with her."

"Perfect," James said.

"Why, what are you planning?" Sirius asked him.

"I'm not actually sure yet." James admitted.

"Well, do you want to get her attention or scare him?" Sirius asked James.

"Both." James told him.

"Well, you could do something like magic up on the walls 'Mrs. Lily Potter,' that should give her the message." Sirius told him.

"We did that in the third year, don't you remember?" James asked. "She hardly even paid it attention," James said. "She just doesn't care about anything I do," James said, sighing morosely.

"Firstly, the reason she didn't see it last time was because McGonagal took it down before she got a chance. And secondly, she does too care. She hates it when people break rules, remember? Anybody," Sirius added as James opened his mouth.

"So you want me to get her attention by breaking rules? I always break rules. She hardly does anything," James told him.

"Yes, but that's different. If she were to be the one who caught you in the act of breaking a rule, she would be sure to notice," Sirius told him. "You know her, she's such a teacher's pet. She would be sure to try and stop you," Sirius said, pulling a face at the thought of Lily tattling.

"Hey, watch it. That's my future wife you're talking about, and don't forget it," James told him.

"James, she'll never marry you. She won't even date you, let alone marry you. Hell, she won't even speak to you," Sirius told him in exasperation.

"Well, that'll all change," James told him.

"Maybe if you asked her out she's say yes," Sirius suggested.

"But she might say no," James told him.

"She says no all the time anyway. At least this way you'll find out whether or not she's going out with Cooper Daniels," Sirius reminded him.

"Cooper. He's going down. When do we play Ravenclaw?" James asked Sirius, clenching his hands into fists.

"Why are you asking me?" Sirius asked him. "I didn't memorize the schedule."

"Right, well I think it's match after next," James told him darkly.

"Maybe if you gave her a nice present she would see how nice you can be," Sirius suggested.

"I already gave her a Christmas present," James told him.

"You did? What? How come you didn't tell me?" Sirius demanded, looking insulted.

"It wasn't exaclty the most plesant of exchanges." James admitted.

"What happened?" Sirius asked.

"I went into her room on Christmas morning and said 'Morning Lily dear, I have a present for you.' and she said 'I don't want to look at you, Potter'," James said.

"That's it?" Sirius asked, looking disappointed.

"Did I say I was finished? Stop interrupting," James told him. "So then I said, 'but I have a present. Don't you want my present?' and she said 'Let's see it then.' And so I gave her that ring, you know the one I mean? It's got the green stone with the gold and the red?" James asked.

"You gave her your aunt's ring?" Sirius asked.

"Well, yes," James confessed. "Don't look at me like that! She said I was to give it to someone special!" James told him.

"Yes, but I somehow think she was reffering to, gee, I don't know, when you got engaged!" Sirius told him, thwacking him on the backside of the head.

"No, she couldn't have. I have my mum's ring for that. And my grandmothers too. So it's not as if I'm short on rings or anything. Being the only grandchild/son/nephew really comes in handy," James told Sirius with a grin.

"Then she was deffinately talking about someone who you were in love with," Sirius told James.

"I am in love with Lily, how many times must I tell you?" James asked.

"You don't know the first thing about Lily. And anyway, she probably meant someone you were dating, dim wit." Sirius told him.

"But I will be dating her, soon. I can feel it." James told Sirius.

"Oh really? When will that be? Five, ten years? Sorry, did I say five or ten? I meant five or ten million!" Sirius said.

"Well, in the grand scheme of things that's not really that long to wait, is it?" James asked. Sirius just shook his head. "Anyway, did you want to know what happened next or not?" James asked.

"Yes, but I still say you don't know or love Lily," Sirius muttered.

"Is that a challenge?" James asked. Sirius shook his head again. "So anyway, I gave her the ring and she gasps and goes 'Oh my goodness, it's beautiful. James you shouldn't have bought me anything this expensive, it must have cost a fortune.' And I said, 'no problem, my aunt gave it to me.' And then she said 'James, I feel so badly, I haven't gotten you anything!'" James said in a high pitched voice that was obviously meant to be an impression of a distraught Lily. "So I said, 'if you really wanted to give me a present you could go out with me,'" James continued in his normal voice. "And so she totally freaked at me, started screaming for me to get out and chucked this huge book at my head. She missed, fortunately, because I escaped and shut the door. Can you imagine what getting hit with a big old book would have done to me hair?" James asked, running his finger through his hair. "This isn't just any hair, you know."

"Are you sure you haven't been hit by a big old book in the past? Perhaps during infancy?" Sirius asked.

"Of course I'm sure," James told him. "Do you think my head would be such a perfect shape if I had been? I wouldn't be nearly as much of a babe magnet without this perfect head," James told him, smiling sardonically.

"Then maybe you were dropped on your head at some point in your life," muttered Sirius. "That would explain why your hair sticks up so much."

"Whatever Padfoot, you're just jealous because girls like my hair better than yours," James told him.

"Evans doesn't," Sirius told him, striking a nerve.

"Let's go." James said, speaking of Lily having reminded him of their mission. They looked back at the map, but saw that the dot of Lily was moving out of the library and into the great hall.

"But we still don't know what we're going to do," Sirius complained, walking after James towards the door. James shoved the map into his pocket.

"Ask her out in front of the entire great hall, of course." James told him, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Sirius just did his head shaking routine again, causing the strand of hair in his eyes to flop back and forth a little, settling in its original position.

As they were making their way to the great hall for dinner, they ran into their least favorite person. The halls were mostly empty, due to it being dinner time, save for one lone figure skulking along behind tham, trying not the be seen.

"Well well well, if it isn't Snivelus Snape," Sirius said, turning and catching Severus staring at them. Severus did not reply, he merely wiped his nose on the sleeve of his robe.

"Look at the greasy boy scuttling along to dinner," James commented.

"What's a brainless git like you doing up here during meal?" Sirius asked.

"I could ask the same of you," Severus replied, shaking with anger. His eyes were black and cold.

"You could," Sirius replied airily. "But you wouldn't get an answer."

"What's that you've got there, Potter?" Severus demanded, trying to sneak a peek at the Marauders map.

"None of your buisness, Snivelus," Sirius said, stepping in front of James as he hid the map in his pocket.

"Snievlus, you are an ugly git and you should learn to keep your abnormally large nose out of other people's buisness," James told him.

"Yes, what do you think you're playing at? Snooping around, always trying to get us expelled. Shove your big nose somewhere else, you great prat, there's nothing to see here," Sirius warned, turning around.

"You're mad because Evans doesn't like you, aren't you?" Severus asked. In recent weeks the emnity between Potter and Evans had mounted, although it was decidedly one sided.

"Of course Evans likes me," James sniffed.

"Right. So I suppose you won't be needing my help, will you?" Severus asked.

"What help?" James demanded, just as Sirius was about to turn and hautily march away. Severus had him now.

"I could make you a potion, if you like," Severus offered.

"What sort of potion?" James demanded.

"A love potion, of course. Give some of it to her, just a few drops, slip it into her pumpkin juice at meal, and she won't be able to resist you," Severus told him, smiling smugly.

"I'll do it," James said at once.

"I'll give it to you by next week." Severus promised.

"Great!" James said enthusiastically. Sevurus scuried away down the corridor where he had come from, presumably towards some back staircase the would lead him to the Slytherin common room. He was apparently skipping dinner. Neither James nor Sirius payed any head to the calculating smile on his face.

"Don't trust him, mate," Sirius advised, watching Severus disappear around the corner.

"Why on earth not? He's too scared to do anything bad," James told him.

"I wouldn't be too sure. Remember, he loves Lily too. And he hates you. Why do you think he'll help you?" Sirius demanded.

"Relax. I told you, he's too afraid of us to do anything. And it's not like he would poison it or anything, like you said, he's head over heals for Lily. He wouldn't hurt her," James told Sirius ressuringly. "Come on, buck up, let's go to dinner," James said. Sirius did not look completely convinced.

"Are we going on with the plan?" Sirius asked.

"'Course not. We'll wait until next week," James told him. "Are you coming?" James demanded, walking off to dinner.

The week went by uneventfully for Lily. She was spending a good deal of her spare time in the library, usually with Cooper, but sometimes with Hazel. Neither mentioned a word about James or Sirius, they instead spoke of other things. Cooper had joined their peer tutoring group, and he proved to be a welcomed addition.

One night, James came, much to Lily's suprise. Sirius had stopped coming since his tiff with Hazel, but Hazel was determinedly not speaking about it. The tutoring program seemed to have caught on, as more students were showing up each week. The night that James came there was a flood of girls signing up for help.

Lily, although amused, was also irritated. This would mean that the peace of the library and the studious environment would be ruined by girls' chatter and giggling. James, to Lily's annoyance, requested her help specifically, and Madame Pince gave it willingly.

"What do you want Potter?" Lily demanded. James, although hurt at her comment at first, was restored to full (and imense) confidence a moment later when he saw the glitter on her finger. She was wearing his Christmas presant.

"You like it then?" James asked hopefully, pointing at the ring. Lily blushed crimson.

"Yes, and that's why I'm wearing it. It has nothing to do with the source," Lily clarified, so that there could be no question on this point. James looked downcast, but he seemed to recover himself a moment later. "Why are you here anyway?" Lily asked again.

"I came for help with my studying," James told her.

"Why? It's not as if you need it. You hardly ever do your homework, and you still get top marks," Lily told him, sounding somewhat irritated. No, not somewhat, James corrected himself. She was irritated.

"I needed help writing a difficult transfiguration essay," James told her.

"But that's your best subject!" Lily exclaimed. James looked at her, how did she know it was his best subject. He did not remember telling her that.

"Yes, but as I said, it's a difficult essay," James said, but there were still traces of doubt in her expression. On a whim, he got an idea. "Look, Lily, whatever there was between us is obviously gone. I can see that. You and Cooper are together now. That's cool. I'm not going to lie, I still have feelings for you. But it's okay. I'm here for the essay, not to make things more awkward," this assurance seemed to be enough for Lily, as she then proceeded to take her books out of her bag and found her transfiguration essay and book.

"I have some drinks, do you want any?" James asked, removing a flask from his bag.

"What is it?" Lily asked, skeptical again.

"Only pumpkin juice," James told her, showing it to her. Fortunately Severus' potion was invisible to the eye. At least, it had no color.

"Thanks. It gets so hot in here, and I'm parched," Lily said, extending her hand and taking a long sip of the drink. James had not asked how long it would take for the potion to kick in, but he hoped it was not long. "Okay, so transfiguration," there did not seem to be anything different about her. But there had to be. She had to love him now.

"Look, Lily, just a minute ago, what I said wasn't entirely true," James told her. He had already written the essay.

"What?" Lily asked.

"I am not okay with you and Cooper, will you please go out with me?" James asked.

"Of course not, Potter!" Lily said loudly. Why was he doing this again. 'Drat, I suppose it takes a night or something. Maybe tomorrow, at dinner. In front of everyone, it will be perfect,'he told himself.

"Oh, well, all right then. I already wrote the essay though, I only came here to ask you that," James told her, standing to leave the library. Lily said nothing. Why would he do that? The nerve of him! What a presumptuous little liar! Anyway, Lily did not think that Cooper was tutoring anyone, so she would go find him and they could do homework together. Later she and Alice could have a good laugh about James. She shook her head, walking away.

The next morning they had potions class. Lily, much to the surprise of everyone, asked Severus if he would sit with her. She blushed and smiled and giggled at everything he said throughout the class. When the class ended, they walked out holding hands. James was shocked.

"What was that about, mate?" Sirius asked him. "Didn't I tell you you couldn't trust the little rat?"

"Yes, you did. Well I'm sure that the potion will kick in by tonight," James added. "And then when I ask her in front of everybody, she'll be sure to say yes." Sirius just shook his head.

"Why are you so stuck on her?" He asked, not expecting a reply. He did not recieve one. That afternoon Lily practically followed Severus around like a puppy. Except at meals, when she had to sit at the Gryffindor table. Other than that, she was with him almost constantly. When her friends asked her about him she just sighed and giggled, saying 'he's so dreamy'. She was not acting at all her usual self. Holly did not know what to do. Neither did Alice, or Hazel, or Caroline, or Janette. James was mystified, but by the time dinner came, he was sure she would be his. He was blissfully oblivious to what had happened.

"I have an announcement!" James said, standing on his seat. The entire great hall looked at him, waiting to hear what he had to say. A few people cheered

'Yeah Potter!' and 'You go Prongs!' Lily did not even want to know what he was doing.

"What I want to say," James yelled, "is that Lily Evans is the most beautiful girl in the world. I love you Lily, will you please go out with me?" James asked, looking at her. Lily was mortified. She burried her head in her hands, hoping that no one would see her. There were sniggers and cat calls from around the room.

"Well, give him an answer!" someone yelled.

Someone else said "10 to 1 she says yes!"

"Potter, what is wrong with you?" Lily demanded, standing up and walking towards the door.

"Lily, wait!" James called.

"Don't speak to me!" She yelled at him, running out of the great hall in tears. She was never going to live this one down. She heard laughter and whispers from behind the doors. She sprinted back to the girls dormitory as fast as she could and hid in her bed, fully dressed.

Everyone in the great hall had originally looked shocked or subdued. A moment after her departure, however, everyone burst out laughing. James, blushing hottly, took a bow, knowing that if he tried to hide it would only make people laugh more. He did not see Severus, sitting at the Slytherin table, sniggering quietly to himself and reveling in his adversary's misery.

The next morning Lily left without a word to anyone. Her eyes were blotchy from crying, and she was completely humiliated. She hunted down Severus at that morning's breakfast. He would understand. Only he could understand her. He was so perfect, and handsome, and understanding. Not like that slimy git Potter. He was so manipulative. Lily would have bet all the money she had that he had only done it in front of everyone because he assumed she would have to say yes if he asked in a crowd. It was only because she had refused him the night before. He was out to get her now, to embarass her in the most public ways possible. But Severus was absolutely perfect. In every way. Why had she ever broken up with him, anyway? She could not remember. It must have been a moment of insanity.

"Sirius, do you see her?" James asked of his friend.

"Yeah, 'course I do. How can you miss that flaming red hair?" Sirius asked.

"She's at the Slytherin table with Severus," James said, horrified.

"I told you not to trust the slimy git. People with hair that bad are shifty, you can tell. And that nose...he was bound to be up to something," Sirius said darkly.

"You know what he's done, don't you?" James asked.

"What?" Sirius asked.

"He's corrupted her," James told him.

"They had sex?" Sirius said, rather too loudly, causing people nearby to look at him.

"Of course not, Lily wouldn't do that. Not with him. No way. He's given her the love potion, but not for me. For him," James told Sirius.

"You're right!" Sirius said, standing up quickly. "That explains it!"

"Where are you going?" James yelled as his friend raced down the table.

"Holly, Alice, Janette, Caroline, you have to help," Sirius said, approaching the four. (Alice had made up with the others finally, at the prodding of Caroline and Lily).

"What have you done now?" Holly asked angrily. She was still sore on Sirius.

"Lily, she's been given a love potion. Severus gave it to her," Sirius told them, gesticulating wildly.

"What? How do you know?" Alice asked in a hushed voice.

"Because, er, he was supposed to be giving it to her for..." Sirius started. James had arrived by now.

"What?" Caroline asked.

"For who, did you say?" Janette probed.

"For James here, if you must know," Sirius said, pointing his thumb at James.

"James!" The four girls exclaimed.

"Figures," Holly said, shaking her head irritably. "What sort of a love potion?" she asked them, looking at their blank expressions. "Well there are lots of sorts, you know," Holly told them.

"You know something, he probably made that one that Lily made. She's the one who got him into potions, so they're bound to have worked on it together. How long did it take him to make it?" Alice asked.

"When did Lily make a love potion?" James demanded, reflecting on this new bit of information. He could not believe that she would have used a love potion. They were, after all, against Hogwarts policy.

"She made it two summers ago," Alice explained.

"For who?" James asked, insatiably curious.

"She made it for me," Alice confessed, blushing.

"Ohhh, for Frankie poo? Thatexplains a lot," Sirius asked, making a kissy face.

"No." Alice said, rolling her eyes. "I don't need one for him. It was for this guy who I see sometimes in the summer. Besides, that was a long time ago," James, having learned that it did not involve Lily's love life, had lost interest.

"It took him a week to make," James told her, eager to be of some service to redeem himself for having caused this mess.

"Well then that's it. The one Lily made for me took a week too. She's bound to have a book on it. Or better yet, I can ask her myself. One moment," Alice started to walk across the great hall towards the Slytherin table when James pulled her back.

"You can't just ask her, she'll know something's up," he told her.

"We can't not ask her either. I don't have to tell her what it's for," Alice told him.

"Right," James conceaded, watching her go. "But wait!" He called again. She turned around.

"Yes?" She asked patiently.

"If you ask her in front of him he'll know you know," James told her.

"That's true. I'll ask her tonight then," Alice said at last after contemplating this for a moment.

"Why don't you boys go do something else, rather than hovering?" Alice suggested later that evening as the were in the library, scanning the volumes of books for an entry about Lily's condition. All of the marauders were there, but only Remus was being of any service.

"I found it!" Caroline said triumphantly, pointing the the book. "It even has a recipe for the counter potion."

"A counter, er, potion did you say?" James asked.

"Yes, is that a problem?" Janette asked.

"I'm not very good at potions," James confessed. "And don't these complicated ones take an awfully long time?" he added.

"Well, this one here says a week, which makes sense really. And seeing as there's no other way to undo it..." Janette said, looking to him for any other options.

"A week?" James asked, sounding hopeless. "That's such a long time!"

"Really? I thought that you said that ten million years was not much in the grand scheme of things, but now one week is far too long?" Sirius said, looking at James. James subsided, sighing. He did not like the idea of Lily spending a whole week in the clutches of the Slytherins.

Meanwhile, Severus was the happiest person on earth. He had Lily again. Life was perfect. He felt guilty, ocasionally, for detaining her against her will, but nothing else could be done. He loved her, and this was all for the best.

"Severus, it's purely genius, the way you tricked Potter and made him look like such an utter fool! His face, it was priceless. I still dream about it..." someone was saying to him. He looked up, jerked from his thoughts of Lily.

"What is?" Severus asked boredly. He was sitting in a circle of Slytherins. Bellatrix, Rudolphus, Antonin, Lucious, Vincent, Gregory, Narcissa, and Evan. Lucious and Bellatrix were holding court.

"Weren't you listening at all?" Bellatrix snapped at him angrily.

"Trixie, calm yourself," Lucious ordered, using a pet name that she hated. There were some sniggers around the circle at Bellatrix's expression of distaste. Narcissa, her younger sister, laughed uproariously at Lucious's "hilarious" joke. "Severus, we were discussing Ms. Evans," Lucious reminded him.

"Oh yes," Severus said bitterly.

"We all know that the Dark Lord wishes her services. We must get  
her for him. We will be his most valued servants,"Lucious told the group. There were murmers of agreement from the assembled children of death eaters.

"Our parents will be praised," Bella added.  
"Yes, our families will rise high above the others," Lucious said, a smile on his face.  
"I don't know-" Serus started to protest.  
"Silence, Severus. You will not cause trouble. You will do as you are told, unless, that is, you wish us to report to the Dark lord that you do not wish to cooperate with his loyal servants to further his ends?" Lucious demanded warningly. Severus said nothing. "Those who are not for him are against him."  
"It would be a shame, Severus, if the Dark Lord were to discover your infatuation with a certain mud blood," Bellatrix said, almost spitting the word mud blood at him.  
"You're mother is very frail," Lucious observed. "She is not treated well by your father. It would be a shame if she were to get hurt, say, falling down the stairs," Lucious pointed out mildly.  
"You wouldn't hurt my mother," Severus said.  
"Wouldn't I? No, I suppose not. But then again, I would not get into trouble for it. Everyone would assume it was your father. It would be a terrible pity to become an orphan whose father is in the looney bin and whose mother is dead, wouldn't it?" Lucious said, with all the airs of making a general statement, although it was all too clear who the threat was directed towards. "I don't suppose that anyone would really want to associate with an orphan. Where would he live?" Lucious said. He was now clearly threatening his social life- if it could be called  
that. Severus had his fists clenched into balls.  
"I'll do it,"he said at last.  
"Do what?" Lucious asked, as if he had not been telling him what he had no choice in doing.  
"Help you get Lily," Severus told them.  
"Oh, but I already knew you would be helping with that. I thought it had been decided," Lucious said, challenging him to disagree.  
"Of course," Severus agreed.  
"Good boy, so shall we arrange it now then?" Lucious asked. There were nods of assent around the circle.

"You will bring the girl to the top of the astronomy tower, understand Severus?" Lucious asked a little while later. "It is a fairly simple thing to do, to lure her there. There will be others waiting to take her from there in the dead of night. You do not have to worry about anything beyond that point. She will be dealt with. Just make sure you're not seen, and make sure she does not suspect. You need worry about  
nothing after then. I will write the neccessary letters," Lucious promised.  
Already at such a young age, he was only a sixth year, he was recognized as the leader of the Slytherin house and unofficial link between the students who supported the dark lord and the death eaters. He might as well have been a death eater himself. It was common knowledge that his father was the dark lord's right hand man and rising. Lucious, it was rumored, had even met the dark lord and been initiated as a death eater. Lucious himself never mentioned anything on this subject, obviously taking the neccessary prudent measures to ensure secrecy about who the death eaters were.  
"Leave me,"he ordered. The other Slytherins disbanded, each going to their respective dormitories.

Severus was glowering, not liking this one bit. Even if he wanted to make Lily stop loving him to save her  
life, he could not. The date he was to meet the death eaters was in exactly a week, and it would take that long to brew the counter potion.

**Author's Note: Well, I hope you all enjoyed that. My favorite part was the bit with the Slytherins...I love writing about them. It's so dark and evil. Haha, figures thatI would like writing that part...I'm awfully bad at depressing though, unless I dislike the characters, then it's easy. Anyway, review! And tell me if it was utter rubbish or not, because I don't really remember. Haha, thanks!  
**


	23. Couter Potions and Counter Plots

**Author's Note: I posted three chapters and then left you all with that sort of cliffie, didn't I? Aren't I evil? And you couldn't even complain because I had just posted 3 chapters...haha. Okay, so are you all excited? This one is the outcome of thae previous chapter, and since I know you have all be simply waiting on the edge of your seats for this one, I'll let you have it now. Without further adou...**

Chapter 23

Counter Potions and Counter Plots

The following week was especially bad for James. In addition to having to endure seeing Lily, once again, in the arms of Snape, who he knew to be friends of death eaters, Lily was being particularly nasty to him.

They were in transfiguration one morning when Professor Flood called on James, and he got an answer right. Lily, rather than smiling at him encouragingly as he had hoped she might, had instead said with utter surprise,

"He got it right!" She looked so completely shocked that it was impossible to think she was being sarcastic.

"You say that like it's a surprise," James muttered.

"Well, yes Potter. You see, when something out of the ordinary happens people are generally surprised," she told him. James had no response to that, so instead contented himself with sticking his tongue out at her once she had turned around. "And you are so immature James, no one sticks their tongues out at people unless they are either two or named Peeves," Lily remarked casually.

'Drat' James thought to himself. A moment later he blew her another loud, wet raspberry. She did not comment. He did think that he saw her shaking her head almost inperceptably though. Perhaps it was just his imagination.

"Cheer up, Prongs. Look on the bright side, at least she's noticing you." Sirius pointed out, grinning. James nodded his head glumly. That was what he wanted, wasn't it. Well, he told himself, be careful what you wish for next time.

James and Sirius, with the help of Remus, Peter, and the girls, actually Sirius and James did the least amount of work even though both had the best of intentions, managed to complete the anti-love potion by the end of the week, right on schedule. James, although he had agreed with the plan to wait until the morning until administering the potion, had other ideas of his own.

He waited until the others had left and then bottled a flask of the potion. They won't even miss it, he told himself, looking at the cauldron. They had used the room next to the picture of Barnibus the Barmy, and found that it was well equipped with everything they needed. None of them had known of the room before, although Sirius swore that he had hidden in it before when running from Filtch.

"Only I thought it was a broom cupboard then, if I had known it had all this stuff I would have paid closer attention," Sirius had explained.

"I doubt it," Holly had mumbled under her breath.

"What are you doing James?" Sirius asked, re-entering the room and finding James holding the flask guiltily. "James, we agreed to wait until the morning to give it to her," Sirius complained, eyeing the flask. "Who knows what will happen if you give it to her twice."

"I know, but it takes some time to work, remember? I think Lily would appreciate it if we gaven it to her sooner, rather than later, so that she could stop this nonsense and quit making a fool of herself," James explained, walking out of the room, slinging an arm around Sirius.

"I suppose," Sirius conceeded. "But you're really not one to talk about making a fool of yourself," he added.

"Found him did you?" Remus called from up the hall. James quickly hid the flask out of sight.

"Yup, back in the potions room," Sirius said. "He probably got lost in his thoughts of Lily," Sirius added by way of explanation.

"Right," Remus said, walking back to Gryffindor tower. Peter was looking at them suspiciously.

"What Petey?" James asked as innocently and naturally as he could, hoping that the flask wasn't causing a buldge.

"Nothing," Peter said, scurrying to catch up with Remus, who was in the lead.

"Why are you hiding it?" Sirius whispered.

"Dunno," James admitted.

"They won't care," Sirius reminded him.

"Moony might," James told him.

"Maybe. I suppose you have a point. If he did though it'd only be because he'd be looking out for Lily. We all like her too, you know," Sirius told him. "Not like that, don't worry," Sirius amended. "But she's my friend, I care about what happens to her as well," Sirius informed him. "And so does Moony. Wormtail too," Sirius told him.

"Since when are you two friends? I thought you didn't get on well," James told him.

"Don't get much past you, do you?" Sirius asked mockingly. "We're friends now. She's nice enough I suppose. I still say a bit of a goody goody, but you know," Sirius shrugged.

"That and you like her friend," James commented.

"Don't you dare say it," Sirius breatheddangerously as they entered the common room.

"What?" James asked, putting on a bland face once again. "By the way, you still owe me an explanation about her. I thought you said you didn't reckon she'd get the bin any time soon."

"She didn't get the bin," Sirius muttered, making his way up the stairs to bed. Remus and Peter had already disappeared.

"What?" James asked loudly.

"Hush," Sirius told him grumpily.

"What?" James asked in a slightly lower voice. "Did she toss you?" James asked. Sirius nodded his assent. "No wonder you don't want to mention it. Is she the first then? I mean, excluding the ones who have caught you cheating on them?" James asked.

"I reckon so, yeah," Sirius said, attempting to put it off as nothing. But they both knew it wasn't.

"So why, then? You didn't cheat on her?" James asked.

"'Course not. I really liked this one," Sirius told him.

"Well any fool could tell. You went out with the same girl for two whole months. If you hadn't broken it off soon we would have started to worry about you. And the other girls at Hogwarts probably would have started to try and kill her," James pointed out.

"Yes, well," Sirius shrugged again. He really did not want to talk about it. It was a bit of a tetchy subject. He had been planning on telling Jame sover the holidays, but other thins had come up and he had never gotten arount to it. By now they had reached the dorm and were carrying on their whispered conversation outside on the steps. Sirius opened the door, cutting short all potentioal for James to question further.

James flopped onto his bed, fishing under it for the marauders' map.

"Lucky Moony put that indestructable charm thingy on it, really," James observed, throwing a grateful look at Remus, who smiled and waved it off as if to say 'Oh, it was nothing, I'm just naturally brilliant like that.' "Else it would have been torn to pieces and we would have had to create a new one every time we wanted one," James said, tapping the parchment with his wand and swearing that he was up to no good. The ink began to spread over the parchement.

"What are you looking for, anyway?" Sirius asked, loking up from his bed where he was casually flipping through a textbook that had been lying on it.

"Lily," James said, looking intently at the map.

"Stalker," Sirius commented.

"Not," James replied. "I already won. I quit," he said hurriedly before Sirius could get in the last word. "And she's not in her dorm," James added, looking nervous.

"Where else would she be?" Remus asked, coming over to look at the map over James's shoulder.

"Wish I knew," James told him, scanning all of the dots carefully.

"Lucky Moony figured out how to do that moving dot thingy, really," Sirius said. "Else James's stalking would be much more difficult," he added, sticking his tongue out at James, who ignored him distainfully.

"There she is!" James said, letting out a breath of air. "She's in the astronomy tower. With Snivelus. And there are a bunch or other unlabled dots floating around. That's odd, they don't generally do that, do they Moony?" James asked.

"Shouldn't," Moony said, looking puzzled. "Unless they're not people we know and don't go to Hogwarts," he added.

"But who on earth?" James voiced the question the room was thinking. Edgar rolled over in his sleep, causing them to grow silent.

"And so why are they floating like that?" Peter asked tentatively, peering at the map as well.

"They would have to be..oh no. Prongs, I think your Lily might be in trouble," Remus said softly.

"Quick, invisibility cloak," James whispered, looking for it under the bed. What a time to be a slob, didn't he wish he were a little more organized.

"Over here," Sirius said, flinging it to him. They all quickly got under it and sprinted as quickly as they could, when covered in a cloak, down the stairs and out the portrait hole.

"Where do you think- who's there?" shrieked the fat lady, startled out of her sleep. James ran faster, as fast as he could. He felt the cloak slipping off him, and heard the others hissing after him to come back, but he did not care. There was only one thought on his mind, Lily was in trouble.

He had the flask still in the pocket of his robe, and it was banging against him, impedeing his progress. He had half a mind to chuck it away from him, but thought better of it. He might need it in a moment or two.

He reached the base of the stairs and began taking them two at a time. He heard yelling as he neared the top and redoubled his efforts.

"Lily!" He called out as he reached the top. He saw four men, two of them on brooms and two on the ground. Snivelus was there, cowering on the ground. Lily was putting up a fierce fight, begging 'her love' to save her. James took this as an invitation. "Stupify!" he said, pointing his wand at the cloaked and hooded figure closest to Lily. "Stupify!" he said again, pointing at the second death eater, for that was who they were. James would have recognized those masks anywhere. The second one he missed, his vision blurred with anger. He had now lost the element of suprise and the other deatheaters were begining to focus their attention on him rather than Lily.

But apparently his being there at all was enough to ruin their plans, as the death eater who seemed to be the leader began shouting at his comrade. The two on the brooms turned and flew away, scooping up the body of their companion before zooming off into the night. The one who James had missed got onto his own broom, snatching the one his fallen companion had left behind.

James turned and heard the reason for their flight. Sirius, Remus, and Peter were just arriving now. James turned his wand on Severus.

"What did you think you were playing at?" James demanded of a whimpering Severus. "Answer me!" James demanded. Then, out of nowhere it seemed, Lily flung herself at James, kicking him and scratching at him, telling him to leave 'her love' alone. James, exasperated by this, practically shoved the flask of anti-love potion down her throat. She looked angry at him when he let up, removing the flask from her lips. But a moment later a glazed look that had been in her eyes disappeared, revealing a very angry Lily.

"What did you do!" she screamed at Severus, advancing on him with her wand raised. At this point Remus, Peter, and Sirius had entered the scene. Aparently the anti-love potion did not take so long to activate. "Start talking, Severus, or you're dead. And they'll never find the pieces of your body. I'll shove them down a hippogriffs throat!" she said wildly, brandishing her wand. James would have laughed were the situation not so serious. Remus had grabbed hold of her, dragging her away from a cowering Severus.

"James, why don't you take her away from here and explain what happened?" Remus suggested. "Leave the cloack with us. Lily can tell any teachers you might meet that she heard noises and wanted to go patrol, she is a prefect after all, but that she was scared and wanted you as an escort," Lily blushed hotly at this suggestion but did not protest too loudly. James did think he heard her mutter something threatening under her breath, but apparently the promise of answers to her inumerable questions was enough to make her keep quiet.

"We'll deal with this one," Sirius promised threateningly. James led the way down the staircase, Lily behind him. He thought he heard her saying something indistinguishable under her breath, but he was not sure. It could have just been the wind.

"Common room?" James suggested.

"Sure," Lily agreed. "And then I want answers," she added. "And if we meet any teachers, you're talking. I don't like lying. Especially not to teachers," Lily told him.

"Why not? What have you got against bending the rules a little?" James asked harmlessly.

"Firstly, this is not bending them a little, this is flagrant disregard for them," Lily told him disapprovingly. "Secondly, I happen to like rules, Potter," Lily told him.

"But why?" James asked her. He, sadly, almost did not even notice that she had not called him by his given name. He had grown acccustomed to being called Potter.

"Rules have been good to me in the past." Lily told him simply. "Rules make life easier," she added.

"Since when does Lily Evans shy away from a challenge?" James asked her. "Since when do you care about whether or not something is easy?" he asked.

"How come you don't like rules?" Lily demanded, changing tact.

"Rules are made to be broken. If people weren't going to break them, there wouldn't need to be rules against them, would there?" James asked. His logic, oddly enough, made sense.

"Listen, Potter, before I found out I was a witch I got into a lot of trouble at school for things I couldn't control. It was never my fault, but I always got yelled at. And so now I make an extra special effort to follow rules. I'm not a freak here. I don't start out at a disadvantage, so why would I give myself one?" Lily asked him. Her logic also made sense. James did not reply.

They reached the common room and settled into armchairs across from each other. Lily looked at him, eyebrows raised.

"Well?" she said finally. "Start talking."

"Okay. Where do I start?" James asked.

"Why I was up there," Lily said at once. "And what I've been doing with Severus this week, that would be nice." Lily said.

"Well, he gave you this love potion, see?" James asked.

"He did what?" Lily demanded, hoping she had not heard correctly.

"He gave you a love potion," James told her.

"How?" Lily asked.

"What do you mean, how?" James asked.

"I mean when did he get a chance?" Lily asked.

"Well, the thing is," James looked down. "Okay, well he offered to make one for me to give to you," James admitted at last.

"You were going to give me a love potion?" Lily asked, too shocked to yell.

"Yes. And I did, too." James said, deciding to tell her everything and hoping she would forgive him, although he doubted it. "Remember last week when I came to the library?" James asked.

"I should have suspected it! I knew you must have had some alterior motive, why else would you set foot in a library?" James just shrugged. "That was why you gave me pumpkin juice?" Lily asked. James nodded. "I thought you were just being nice. How naive am I?" she asked, shaking her head in self disgust. At least she wasn't yelling though. That was a good sign.

"Well, I gave it to you and the next morning you started hanging around Severus all the time. You have been for the whole week. We figured it out right away, of course, but you were being a right prat to me all week," James told her.

"That had nothing to do with the potion," Lily told him sharply. "That was all me,"

"Oh." James said. Great, he had effectively called her a prat. She could just keep a mental list of all the thing he had done to offend her this conversation. Alhtough he doubted even Lily could remember that much.

"So then what about tonight?" Lily asked him.

"I don't really know. We saw that you were up there and we went to save you, because we saw the other four there too, and didn't know what they would possibly be up to. And they were just floating there, you know?" James asked.

"What?" Lily asked, completely confused. James clapped his hands over his mouth. He had not just told Lily about the marauders map. His fellow marauders would likely flay him for that.

"You saw me up there? How did you see me up there?" Lily demaded. "And what four? They were on broomsticks you idiot, not floating, you of all people should know that," Lily told him. Well, there was nothing for it. He would have to explain it to her and fact the consequenses later.

"We have this map, you see, this map of Hogwarts." James told her. "Of everything, the secret pasages, the shortcuts, even the people. They have these labeled dots that move around. Moony thought it up, very clever spell that one was," James told her proudly, as if it had been his own accomplishment rather than Remus's.

"Moony, that's Remus, right?" Lily asked. "Can I see the map?" she asked him.

"'Course not. It's a marauder secret and if you tell anyone that you know, we'll have to kill you" he told her. She laughed, but he did not. She shivered a little.

"Well, does that mean that you can see me all the time? Wherever I go, whatever I'm doing?" Lily asked him nervously. James hoped she would not think he was a stalker too.

"Well we can't see you, exactly. We see a dot with your name above it. But essentially yes," James told her.

"Okay, so you saw four other dots floating? That would be the death eaters flying I suppose?" Lily asked him.

"Yes." James confirmed.

"I have to tell Dumbledore about that map," she told him.

"No you don't" James told her, shaking his head desperately and fervently.

"I do, Potter. I'm a prefect. I'm surprised at Remus for encouraging you with it. I mean, honestly. That's not right. And it could come in handy for the headmaster, especially now." Lily told him contemplating.

"Lily, please, I'm begging you. Never do one thing for me ever again if you do this," he told her. "Just do not tell anyone a word about this map,"

"Well, you know Potter, I have to tell Dumbledore about it when I tell him about this. He'll need to punish Severus for brewing love potions, probably you for administering them, and he'll need to do something about the death eaters. He'll want to know how you knew I was there and managed to come to my rescue," James knew she was right. Dumbledore would have to know.

"Do you think you can leave out the bit about me administering the love potion?" He asked pleadingly.

**Author's note: Okay so how did u all like that? And in case you were wondering, James recognized the masks because of daily prophet pictures etc. The limited few photos that were taken of death eaters that is. Anyway just thought i'd clear thatup. Any other questions or comments at this point before I continue the story? Ask/tell me in a review or email, my sn is also on there if you want to IM me sometime. The easiest method of contact, however, is to just leave me a review...  
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	24. A Whomping

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**Author's Note: So I don't know if you all remember this, because I know I didn't until iwas listening to the book on tape recently for the trillionth time, but there was the little incedent with the whomping willow. Remember that? How Sirius "tried to kill snape"? Anyway, here you have it, the incedent as it will be reffered to as in the future, is about to occur. Not to spoil it or anything...**

Chapter 25

A Whomping

As it turned out Lily did not tell Dumbledore about James being the one to have administered the love potion. Perhaps that was her way of returning a favor. Perhaps she just felt badly for him. She did, however, tell hprofessor Dumbledore about the map. He said nothing, but merely nodded and smiled knowingly.

Their lessons were going the same as before. Lily could successfully throw off any attempt to read her thoughts, and could break through Dumbledore's every time. They had begun training to induce the dreams, which was a tricky thing to do as Lily could not really practice it on her own time. But even in light of this, lessons were going well. And Lily was happy. Cooper was very sweet, Hazel was the best friend she could have wished for, Alice, Holly, Janette, and Caroline were not fighting with anybody, and she had completed all of her homework for the weekend. Things were going well for Lily, her only problem was boredom. When something intense is happeneing in someone's life, they usually just want things to calm down and work themselves out. However, when everything is calm, people have a tendency for creating drama. People crave action and excitement, so when they could just coast they uinstead create excitement where there otherwise would be none.

Lily, for the time being, was coasting. Severus Snape, however, was wishing that things would calm down.

"Snivelus, I've warned you before, keep your nose out of other people's buisness. I realize that's especially difficult for you, considering your nose is particularly large and everything, but you're going to have to make an especially large effort, for your own safety, that you **mind your own buisness**!" Severus was cowering against a wall. He had managed to attract the fury of Sirius Black, once again.

Sirius had been beyond outraged when he found out what had happened in the astronomy tower that night. If Remus hadn't been there, Severus probably would not have lived. For that, Severus was oddly greatful to the freakish boy, although he never would admit it. The reason he had attracted Sirius's anger this time was because Sirius had overheard him talking about Remus's "condition." Well, speculating rather than speaking. No one knew the truth about Remus outside of his circle of friends.

"I have a right to know where he goes every month. As a fellow student, my personal safety-" Severus started to say in a quavering voice. He knew that he should not talk back, but he could not keep his mouth shut. He never could. And besides, if anyone's mother was as sickly as Remus's, she would be dead. Well, actually, it is surprising what you can live through, thought Severus as a mental image of his own mother flashed through his thoughts. But still, since when did Hogwarts send students home every time their mother got a little cold? They certainly never offered to send him home. The only occasion which would warrant a student leaving school to visit home would be if sthe parent in question were at death's door. And if Remus's mother were at death's door every month, she would have died, Severus thought reasonably.

"It's none of your concern." Sirius told him, jabbing the wand forward threateningly. "The only threat to your personal safetly right now is me." Sirius told him.

"I think that I have a right to know." Severus said, staunchly refusing to surrender, although he was wandless and cowering on the floor at the larger boy's feet.

"I think you don't. What is your problem anyway? Why are you always sneaking around, trying to get us expelled? Why do you hate us so much?" Sirius demanded. Severus did not reply. "So, you think you have a right to know?" Sirius asked, throwing his head back and laughing. "All right then, tonight when it gets dark, go out to the whomping willow." Sirius saw the expression of terror on Severus's face. "Unless of course you don't really want to know, in which case I don't know why you're wasting so much energy asking about it all the time..." he said.

"No, I do want to know, tell me!" Severus said loudly, his curiousity getting the better of him. He knew that, in dealing with marauders, one should always be on the lookout for a prank. Especially him. Especially since he had just almost killed Potter's girl. Especially since he had tricked them into helping him and made them look like fools. Not that the rest of the school knew about it of course. Not yet, at any rate.

"Fine. Go to the whomping willow tonight, prod the knot with a big long stick. Then you'll see the entrance at the base of the tree. Go through it. Follow the corridor a little ways, you'll see all you ever wanted to see and more," Sirius sneered. Severus did not reply, although in his mind he was debating whether or not he should go.

Sirius turned away, abandoning his designs to hex Severus into oblivion, that would be done much less messily for him tonight, and climbed the stairs out of the dungeon.

_'Perhaps I'll bring friends...'_ Severus thought to himself. _'No, I won't. They would get all the credit for discovering it. I'll be the hero this time.' _Severus smiled at the prospect of discovering the truth about Lupin. He had been waiting a long time for this moment, and now it was here. How foolish Lupin's friends were to betray his secret like that. Unless...perhaps this was some sort of trap for Severus. Potter, Black, Lupin and Pettigrew would lie in wait and catch him out on the grounds at night. But that couldn't be there plan, he thought, upon further reflection, they would be in trouble for being out as well. So what was the plan? Surely Potter and the others were in on it. They had to be. But what was it they were in on? _'Well'_ he concluded, _'I'll just have to go tonight and find out for myself.'_

The four marauders were busy plotting that night's adventures. Remus would go down with Madame Pomfrey just before sunset. Then, when it got dark, the other three would go down underneath the invisibility cloak and transform, as they always did.

"You're being awfully quiet, mate." James said, noticing Sirius's uncharacteristic silence.

"I'm not." Sirius told him, although it was true.

"Well what do you want to do tonight?" James demanded.

"I dunno. We could go into Hogsmede." Sirius suggested.

"But we did that last time." Peter complained.

"Then the forest. There are bound to be all sorts of interesting things in there. Why else would they make it off bounds?" Sirius said triumphantly. They had never truely explored the forest before.

"I suppose." James said, sounding aggitated.

"What's wrong, Prongsie? Scared?" Sirius asked mockingly.

"'Course not. I just think it's a bit rash is all. Exploring the forest at night in the dark?" James said. Sirius was very rash. He rarely thought through his plans.

"But you'll be a stag, what could hurt you?" Sirius demanded.

"I won't be a stag." Peter told him. "It's all right for some. You lot got big scary animals. I'm just a rat. I hardly think it's fair." Peter whined.

"But Wormtail, we needed someone to be small so they could let us in. Without you we'd be nothing." Sirius reminded him winningly.

"I s'pose so." Peter conceeded, glad for the praise he was recieving. "But I'll still be very small in that big forest. What if something ate me?" Peter asked, looking scared.

"What would want to eat you?" Sirius asked him.

"Well, an owl might." Remus told him. "They eat rodents and such. And they come out and feed at night."

"You're not helping, Moony." Sirius reprimanded. "No owl will attack you when you're with three other large anmials. They're nocturnal, not moronic." Sirius told him, looking at Remus with a grin that planly said_ 'Ha! I know more than you about owls!'_ Remus just shook his head despairingly and looked the other way.

"I don't know, I agree with Wormy. I don't think we should go to the forest. Let's just decide tonight, I'm tired of talking about it," James said. "What do we do until then?" he asked, looking around the group for suggestions.

"We could go find that obnoxious prat who was cheeking you the other day. Remember him?" Sirius suggested, again rashly.

"Who?" Remus asked.

"Barty Crouch, he said his name was." Sirius said sullenly. "Little git," he added for good measure.

"Padfoot, all he said was 'excuse me' when he walked past in the hall. He was not being cheeky." James told him.

"Ruddy prat." Sirius said, looking at the floor.

"Someone's in a bad mood tonight." James told him.

"I'm hungry." Sirius told him, ignoring that comment.

"How can you be hungry?" Peter demanded incredulously. "We just had dinner."

"That was almost an hour ago!" Sirius protested.

"I'll go to the kitchens with you." James offered, looking to Remus and Peter.

"Count me out." Remus told them. "I hate eating before transformations, it makes me ill." He reminded them.

"I'll stay here with Moony." Peter told them. "I might get a bit peeky too." James and Sirius grabbed the invisibility cloak, just in case, and went down to the kitchens.

"So, what's up with you?" James asked as he tickled the pear and grasped the handle that it turned into.

"Nothing." Sirius told him. James looked at him suspiciously as they entered the kitchens and were immediately surrounded by houselves.

"Having any more trouble with Snivelus?" James suggested. Sirius snorted.

"I doubt we'll be having much trouble with him again. Not after tonight." Sirius told him, grinning over the head of a house elf who was offering him cake. Sirius accepted eagerly and wolfed it down.

"Why do you say that?" James asked, "did you two get into another fight?" James asked him warily.

"You could say that." Sirius told him.

"What happened?" James asked him.

"The usual. He was poking his nose in where it didn't belong and I told him off." Sirius told him, leaving out the bit about telling Severus to go down to the willow.

"Well, it's difficult, what with his nose being so abnormally large." Sirius grinned at this comment.

"I told him that." Sirius told James, shoving him a little and causing him to knock over two houselves who were standing on his other side with a tea tray.

"Sorry." James said to the houselves, who had already recovered and were again bustling around them energetically.

"It's no matter, master Potter. Can Dinky get you anything to eat? Perhaps some pie? Or a crumpet?" The houself Dinky asked him, bowing low.

"Yes please," both boy chorused delightedly. They were ushered to a table in the corner and immediately supplied with all manners of delicacies.

"Good chaps, these houselves." Sirius said around a mouthful of food a moment later. "Good service, this is." Dinky beamed at this praise.

"Padfoot, what happened with Snivelus?" James asked him, swallowing a large quantity of pumpkin juice.

"Well, like I said, I don't think he'll be giving us any more trouble." Sirius told him. James snorted.

"That'll be the day. The day he stops trying to get us into trouble will be the day he dies."

"Exactly, Prongs." Sirius said. James looked at him suspiciously.

"Pad, tell me what you did." James said, concern in his voice.

"I just told him that if he wanted to know the truth about Moony he should go to the whomping willow tonight." Sirius said nonchallantly, grinning at his genius.

"You did what?" James demanded. "How could you be so stupid?"

"Hey, calm down. Like you said, the day he stops trying to get us expelled will be the day he dies. He deserves it, look at what he did to Lily." Sirius said, looking slightly less pleased with himself. He had obviously expected James to join in on the hilarious joke.

"Sirius, this is not funny. This is not a harmless prank. He could die." Sirius blanched.  
"Moony would never forgive you. His secret would get out. He would probably get kicked out of Hogwarts, and you would too if anyone found out it was you." James told him. "Moony would never get over it."

"I hadn't really thought of that." Sirius was never one to think the pranks through all the way. He was more of a spur of the moment type guy.

"That's obvious." James said, standing up and rushing out of the kitchens with the invisibility cloak. He had to stop Severus from going down the tree. How could Sirius have been so stupid? Lily would have a fit if she found out, that was all he could think of as he raced up to the dormitory to warn Remus.

When he arrived he only saw Peter and Edgar talking. Remus had left, presumably to meet with Madame Pomfrey. James sprinted down the stairs, ignoring Peter who was calling after him. Lily would have a fit. Images of her telling him how foolish this was, how dangerous, how someone could die. And she would be right too, just as she always was.

James jumped down the last three steps and ran through the common room. There were still many people there, and it was not late yet. He managed to avoid stepping on anyone. He only paused for a moment before leaving to look at Lily, sitting in a corner and laughing, talking to Gideon Prewett, the seventh year. James was about to stalk over in his invisibility cloak and scare the living daylights out of Gideon when he remembered his task. He sprinted out of the portrait hole, causing the fat lady to squwack with annoyance. He rushed as quickly as possible down the stairs. He saw Sirius coming up as he went down. James tripped him slightly. He saw Sirius looking around wildly as James chortled to himself.

Sirius rushed up to the common room, undoubtedly looking for James and Remus, trying to catch them in time.

James left the castle and ran across the grounds to the whomping willow. The branches were frozen. The moon was up and making its way higher in the sky. It would be too much to hope that the tree had just been frozen by Madam Pomfrey. James dove through the branches before they started swinging again and slid through the entrance to the shreiking shack.

He could hear Moony snarling in the distance, ripping the furniture to shreds. James saw the outline of someone's profile. There was long, dark, greasy hair and an abnormally large nose. James knew at once that it was Severus. He rushed to grab him. He saw Severus was staring, transfixed by the snarling creature in front of him. Moony, fortunately, had not spotted him yet. He was occupied with tearing the furniture to shreds and clawing the walls. He had probably just transformed moments before, and judging by the expression of joy and horror on Severus's face, he had witnessed the whole thing.

James shoved Severus back up the corridor, hoping that Moony had not caught their scent. When they reached the top of the trap door, James was sure that he heard the tread of an animal coming from behind them. Panicked, he shoved Severus out of the tree, pushing the knot to freeze the branches as he did so. When he himself emerged, he saw Severus staring triumphantly at the passage he had just exited.

"So that's the secret," he said. "You were trying to get me killed. Well, the headmaster will hear about this. That...that thing will be out of here before you can blink. And you and your little friends too. You were trying to get me killed, sending me down there." Severus accused. James saw that he was shaking slightly.

"Severus" James employed his given name rather than the cruel nickname, "you can't tell anyone about this. And it wasn't me. I only just found out about it. I swear, Remus and I were not trying to get you killed. I don't really think Sirius was either. He just didn't think it through. I promise." James told him desperately, hoping that Severus would not get them all kicked out.

"As if I'd believe that!" Severus said, laughing like a lunatic. "As if I don't know you were all in on it!" He exclaimed.

"Severus, wait!" James cried as Severus began to run up to the castle. James ran to the spot where he had flung the invisibility claok and put it on, running back to the castle. He needed to get to Dumbledore first. James reached the dormitory and threw the invisbility cloak headlessly to the ground. Sirius looked up.

"There you are mate, where did you run off t-" Sirius started to say, smiling.

"You really did it this time, Pads. Snivelus knows, and he's off to find Dumbledore. We have to get there first. Come on, move yourself." James said, leaving the dormitory once again. Edgar Bones was looking mystified, as was Peter. Neither said anything. Peter had a faint idea of what was going on, and knew that his friends would tell them later. He just shrugged to Edgar and the two resumed their previous occupations.

Sirius and James ran down the corridors, not worrying about running into teachers or getting caught out after they were supposed to be in their dormitories.

"What- happened?" Sirius panted as the sprinted towards Dumbledore's office, trying to get to him before Severus.

"He knows." James said simply. Sirius stopped for a breath, long enough for James to out distance him. The two reached the gargoyle, Sirius panting for breath and arriving a moment or two after James. James had already commenced banging on the doors with his fists, calling for Dumbledore.

"Shouldn't-we-lay-low?" Sirius said, still swallowing air in deep gulps. "Wait-for-him-to-call-us?"

"We have to get to him first- Dumbledore!" James called out, his voice growing louder as he called Dumbledore's name.

"What is all this rukus?" Dumbledore demanded, opening the doors from the inside. "Ah, I had expected to see you two. Severus is up in my office now. You are just the people I wanted to see." Dumbledore told them grimly, stepping aside to allow them entrance. James and Sirius exchanged nervous glances. "Severus told me that you two were conspiring to kill him. He seems very distraught," Dumbledore told them leading them up to his office and closing the door. James was sure he heard the lock click. Dubledore was now sitting down behind his desk, his eyes flashing between the three boys. His eyes stopped on Sirius and James, taking in their breathless and disheveled appearances. "Have a seat Mr. Black, Mr. Potter." Dumbledore said, motioning to two empty seats in front of his desk. Severus muttered something inaudible under his breath.

"Like I was saying, professor, these two were trying to kill me. They told me to go down the whomping willow so that I could get eaten by a werewolf." Severus informed the professor, looking triumphant. At last the trouble makers would be expelled. And the werewolf too.

"Ahh." Dumbledore replied, looking slightly aggitated.

"That's not true professor!" James cut in angrily, glaring at Severus. Dumbledore looked mildly interested in what he had to say. His crytal blue eyes pierced through James. James shivered a little.

"Isn't it?" He asked.

"No, it isn't," James told him firmly and determinedly.

"What is your side of it, Mr. Potter?" Dumbledore asked him.

"Sirius here, he was mad at Snivelus-er, Severus I mean, because he tried to get Lily killed," James explained.

"And he was snooping about trying to find out about Remus" Sirius added.

"Yeah," James agreed, "And so Sirius told him that he should go down the tree tonight. And when I found out I went to go stop him, because we didn't want him to actually find out about Remus," James continued.

"I didn't actually think he would go down the tree," Sirius added desperately.

"But I found him in the tree and pulled him out. We weren't trying to get him killed and I didn't have anything to do with him being there. Moony, er I mean Remus that is, didn't have anything to do with it either" James clarified, hoping that Dumbledore would believe him.

"I see. Is this true Mr. Black?" Professor Dumbledore asked, his piercing gaze now fixed on Sirius.

"Er, yes, I'm sorry to say it is." Sirius admitted, clearing his throat a little. Dumbledore looked disappointed and sad. He turned to Severus next.

"And this is not the way you saw it happen?" Dumbledore asked him.

"Well, I admit that there is a certain amount of truth in what they say. But I find it hard to beleive that Potter and his other chums had nothing to do with this plot on my life." Severus told Dumbledore angrily. He did, however, look a little smug. He was sure that they would be expelled for this.

"Well, now that that is cleared up." Dumbledore said, still fixing his clear blue eys on Severus. "Would you care to tell me what Messers Potter and Black are reffering to when they say you had designs to kill Ms. Evans?" Dumbledore asked him. Severus began to splutter.

"But, Professor, it's not all cleared up!" he said at last, his face turning a little red.

"Isn't it?" Dumbledore asked him. "Was there something you wanted to add to your testimony?"

"I already told you! These two tried to kill me with the help of their, their creature!" Severus told him, clearly insensed.

"And I have heard your side of it. Now it is up to me how to deal with it. I will, however, warn you that you are not to mention Mr. Lupin's condition to anyone. Do you understand?" Dumbledore told him. Severus again began to splutter. It was Sirius and James's turn to look smug.

"But professor! The students have a right to know!" Severs gasped.

"It is none of their concern. I assure you, Mr. Snape, this situation is under control," Dumbledore told him.

"But I could have died because of that beast!" Sever said, his voice rising.

"Mr. Snape, you will never mention what happened this night again. You almost died tonight because of your own and Mr. Black's foolishness. You were lucky Mr. Potter was there to save your life. You are further lucky that Mr. Lupin did not attack you as he might have done. You should be counting your lucky stars for this" Dumbledore told him warningly.

"They won't even be punished?" demanded Severus. How could this be happeneing? He had had them this time! They should be out of Hogwarts for this, and instead the headmaster was defending the two miscreants. He was even crediting Potter with his life! And the werewolf, he was suggesting that he should be grateful to that beast!

"They will of course be punished, Mr. Snape, as you will be. You were all out of bounds tonight. You should not have been on the grounds without permission. But their punishment is none of your concern. I will deal with them later. Now I am curious to know about this incedent regarding Ms. Evans' life, although I already have a good idea. I was going to call you in for it tomorrow actually. Seeing as I have you here now, however, we can get this out of the way and save time," Dumbledore told him, settling back in his chair and waiting.

"Well, see, it's like this," Severus started, clearly annoyed by this turn of events. "These two asked me for a love potion to give Lily," Severus told him. "Well, Potter really is the one who asked. Black told him it was stupid," Severus sneered at the two, sure that he would get them in trouble at last. Dumbledore arched his eyebrow, clearly surprised by this information. Lily had not told him that.

"That's not true!" James cried out, unable to hold his tongue.

"What do you think happened, Mr. Potter?" Dumbledore asked him, looking intrigued.

"We were walking in the hall and he offered to make a love potion to get Lily to like me," here James blushed, "she doesn't like me very much," James admitted, blushing still more deeply. _'On the contrary, I think she likes you a good deal if she was willing to withold that piece of information to keep you out of trouble.'_ Dumbledore thought to himself, although he said nothing out loud. He merely looked back to Severus.

"Well the dult is the one who gave her the potion! I think he deserves more punishment!" Severus declared. He could not bear the fact that Potter and Black would get out of this scott free while he was to be punished!

"The matter of who shall get what punishments is my descision, not yours," Dumbledore reminded him firmly. "Perhaps you would care to tell us all how exactly you were threatening Ms. Evan's life," Dumbledore suggested, to James's surprise he looked slightly amused.

"I was not threatening her life," Severus said deffiantly. And it was true, to a certain extent. He had not been personally threatening her life. And it had not been his idea. But still, the others would never forgive him if he betrayed them. Dumbledore just sighed, waiting for more, obivously. Lily had told him the whole story, or what she knew of it. So he had a pretty good idea of what had happened. He was just waiting to see if Severus would tell him the truth.

"We were on the astronomy tower," Severus told him at last.

"I see. And what were you doing there, may I ask?" Dumbledore asked him, pressing for more information.

"We were meeting friends," Severus told him stubornly. Dumbledore was disappointed, but he would not press for more. He knew exactly which friends he had been meeting and for what reasons too. At least, he could guess. He was not sure exactly which death eaters they had been, but he had a fairly good idea.

"I'm afraid that I will have to relieve you of your prefect post," Dumbledore said at last, letting it go. Severus inhaled sharply, touching the badge that was pinned to his chest. Not his prefects badge! How could he? "I will also be giving you a weeks worth of detentions, and you will write a letter of apology to Ms. Evans," Dumbledore decided.

"But professor!" Severus gasped, gaping at the headmaster. "I was nearly killed! Why am I being punished?" Severus demanded.

"You were out of bounds on the grounds after hours. That is why you have detention. I am relieving you of your prefect's post because of the love potion incedent and for being in the astronomy tower, again after hours. The letter of apology is for what you did to Ms. Evans," Dumbledore told him. "I don't think I need to remind you of what that was," he added shrewdly.

"What about him?" sneered Severus, looking at James. "And him?" he asked, looking in turn at Sirius.

"Mr. Black and I will have a chat after you leave. Mr. Potter, you will have a detention for being out of bounds and after hours tonight. You will also be suspended from the next quiddich game for your part in the love potion incedent," Dumbledore said, adressing James.

"Professor!" James gasped, horrified. He could not miss a quiddich game! They would fall behind in the quiddich cup race and the house cup race! And if Sirius was right then the next game would be when he played Cooper. It would mean missing his chance to prove to Lily that he truely was the better man.

"Professor!" Severus also yelled out, equally upset.

"He get's one detention when I got a weeks? Only one game?" Severus demanded. He had wanted at least a lifetime ban. Or a suspension for longer than one day!

"You will remember, Mr. Snape, that Mr. Potter risked his own life to save yours tonight. He knew the risks in going into that tree after you, and yet he did it anyway. You would do well to remember that. Also, he redeemed himself slightly by rescuing Ms. Evans from the astronomy tower. He also is not the one who concocted the potion or even the idea for the potion," Dumbledore reminded Severus sternly. Severus rose and walked to the door, not looking at Dumbledore or waiting to listen to any more. "Mr. Snape, I believe that I need your badge," Dumbledore reminded him just as Severus was stretching his hand out for the door handle. Severus again fingered the badge on his breast lovingly. James may have been mistaken, but he was sure that he saw a flash of amusement in Dumbledore's eyes again.

Snape was forced to make the walk of shame back across the room to Dumbledore's desk, past James and Sirius. Dumbledore was adding insult to injury. He placed the badge on Dumbledore's desk and turned again, stubbornly refusing to meet anyone's eyes.

"And Mr. Snape, you will remember what I told you. You are not to tell anyone about Mr. Lupin's condition, under pain of expulsion" Dumbledore told him, deadly serious. Snape's face was contorted in rage. He looked as if he were about to fly into another temper, decrying the injustice of the situation, but he did not. He nodded and left Dumbledore's office.

Severus was very bitter over the night's occurances. It had been his finest hour. He knew the secret and was going to expose it to everyone. The marauders would all be expelled with the possible exception of Pettigrew. Instead, he was no longer a prefect and had a week of detentions coming. And he had to write that dratted letter to Evans. It was too bad that he would not even be able to deliver it in person.

He walked back to Slytherin common room, debating just exactly how now he would contrive to get them expelled. If that couldn't do it, nothing could. It was not right. Potter and Black would go on living their lives according to their usual routine, while he had to be punished for their attempted murder. He still could not beleive that they had tried to kill him. He had known that all four were violent, and possibly insane, but he had not expected them to be capable of murder. This was beyond forgivness. And was Dumbledore mad, beleiveing that Potter had not had some hand in planning this? He and Black planned and did everything together. And you could bet the creature was in on it too. How could he not be? Well, his father had said that Dumbledore was too weak and trusting to be a headmaster, but he had gotten the job anyway and see where that had lead? Potter, Black, and Dumbledore were probably talking about him right now, he thought angrily. One thing was for sure, he would never, never forgive Black for this. Ever.

James looked between the somber expression in Dumbledore's face and the determined and yet frightened expression in Sirius's and immediately felt uncomfortable.

"Right, er, so we'll just be off then?" James asked hesitantly, half rising from his seat.

"Mr. Potter," Dumbledore said, nodding for him to sit again. James sat. "What you boys did tonight-" Dumbledore started to say, but he was cut off by Sirius.

"Don't blame this on James!" he ordered, standing up to his full and impressive height. His eyes were dark with anger. "James was a hero, this is all my stupid fault. Mine and Snivelus's" he did not even bother to correct himself for using the nickname, "so don't you blame this on James. You've given him enough by banning him from quiddich, when he saved Snivelus's life!" Sirius yelled at Dumbledore, again not correcting the nickname. Dumbledore again looked vaguley amused by this outburst.

"Peace, Mr. Black. Please take your seat" Dumbledore instructed him. Sirius did not sit, but merely stood there like a scowling pillar. He looked very intimidating in his black cloak, with an equally dark expression of anger on his face. Dumbledore sighed. "I have no intention of punishing Mr. Potter further" he told Sirius, again motioning for him to take his seat. Sirius sat in a huff, not even bothering to look embarassed for his outburst. "What Mr. Potter did tonight as very nobel of him. He risked his own life to save someone who needed his protection. I wanted to congratulate and thank him, as well as to award him fifty house points for Gryffindor" Dumbledore said. James grinned. Was that a wink that he had just seen Dumbledore give him? He could not be sure, as it was gone a moment later.

"Fifty" Sirius whispered in awe. James thought he saw him smiling faintly himself.

"However," Dumbledore said, any trace of amusement or pleasure vanishing as quickly as it had come. "I would tell you that what you did was foolish, reckless, and fool hardy, as well as dangerous" Dumbledore told him angrily. Sirius hung his head. "You will be restricted to the Hogwarts grounds and forbidden to go to Hogsmede for the rest of the year. You will serve detentions until I see a change in your behavior. You will not be allowed flying priveleges.  
You will be watched so carefully that you will wish you had never done anything of this kind," Dumbledore informed him, now working himself into a towering rage. "You will also write a letter to Mr. Snape, apologizing for risking his life," Dumbledore concluded, obviously incapable of thinking of anything else he could take away that Sirius might value. He had taken away his pride and his freedom, what else was there?

"Professor!" Sirius said in outrage. He then subsided after having thought of it. Dumbledore was  
right. He had nothing else to say, so he sat sulking instead.

"Now is a time for Hogwarts to stand united. Now more than ever we need to cooperate, to work as one. How is that possible, how can we ever achieve unity, when people are constantly fighting what we are working for? People like you. This rivalry between Gryffindor and Slytherin has to stop. I look to you to do your best to stop it. I should have thought that you would be thinking more of that, especially in these troubled times," Dumbledore said sadly. Sirius  
did not look up. James was struck by the similarities between this speech and all the ones Lily had given him. Dumbledore ran his hand through his beard. "You may go," he said at last.  
James and Sirius stood and exited the office wordlessly. They did not so much as look at each  
other as they exited made their way back to Gryffindor tower. Both were thinking the same thing,_ what will Moony say?_

**Author's Note: Okay so I reposted this chapter today after a review pointed out to me that I had failed to preview this chapter...thanks tay. Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed it and I hope it was somewhat plausible. Did it seem a little rushed to anyone apart from myself? I feel like I could have done better...oh well, maybe I'll re write this again someday soon. Thanks!**

**Julia **


	25. Reactions

**Author's Note: Well, I hope all of you enjoy this chapter at least a little bit. It was pretty fun, and includes people reactions. I haven't written anything in a while, this is all stuff that I had saved up, but I'll be writing new stuff soon hopefull (crosses fingers) and then hopefully we'll get to some more exciting stuff and fluff. (wink wink)**

**Love you all lots! Read and Review! **

**Chapter 26 **

**Reactions**

It was Sirius's punishment to have to write a letter of apology to Snape, so he decided to get that out of the way right away. He sat down as soon as he got back to the common room. James had offered to help him, but he had merely waved him off, telling him to get some sleep. James looked concernedly at Sirius, but did not argue.

Sirius smiled a little to himself. Dumbledore could punish him as much as he wanted, but he was not going to be sincere in his apology. Stupid Snivelus, it was his own fault. He shouldn't have listened, he shouldn't have been poking around to begin with, and he shouldn't have...been Snivelus. But since he _had _to write the note he might as well.

_Dearest Snivelus, (corssed out and replaced with Severus), _

_Since Dumbledore deemed it neccessary, I suppose I have to appologize. I'm sorry you listened when I told you where to find Remus, and I'm sorry you felt scared and intimidated by him. _

_Sirius_

Sirius smiled at the letter. He knew that it was mean, and that he should feel remorseful for what he had done, but he had been punished enough. Not having flying priveledges was enough punishment without him having to write some stupid apology letter.

The truth was he did feel bad, but Sirius had never been very good at expressing his emotions, especially not ones that would dammage his pride. And especially not to Snivelus. He knew that James would probablly tell him that he should take this note seriously, which was why he had not asked for his help. Part of Sirius knew it was wrong and hurtful to Severus of him to write this note, but the other, angrier and more resentful part of him blamed the night's events on Severus. He would still be allowed in Hogsmede, not that the restriction would really do anything to stop him, and he would still be allowed to fly if it weren't for stupid Severus. He should have just kept his fat mouth shut.

'_That's ridiculous, Sirius, you can't possibly have expected him to keep it to himself that you had tried to kill him. He would have at least blackmailed you,'_ Sirius told himself reasonably.

**_'Yes, well then I would still be allowed to fly, wouldn't I?'_** Sirius replied angrily, shoving the note in an envelope that he found on the floor by the fire and shoving it in his pocket. He would send it the next morning.

Sirius went up to bed and tossed his robes over a chair for the next morning. He pulled his pajamas over his head and crawled into bed. Before twitching the hangings closed, he couldn't help but glance at the empty bed belonging toRemus. He closed the hangings and rolled on his side. He might not care what Snivelus thought, but he deffinately cared about Moony's opinion.

The next morning Sirius was woken by the sound of Peter's whining to James.

"Where were you two last night? I had nothing to do, I was all alone up here. Edgar wasn't even here. I had nothing to do, and last night was when we were supposed to do something exciting. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad I got out of that forbidden forest exploration, but you said we might be able to sneak into Rosie's firewhiskey! Now we'll have to wait an entire month before we can do that," Peter complained.

"Stuff it, Wormy. We had more important things to do, okay? We'll tell you later. It's none of your buisness," James told him. Sirius opened the hangings and rolled out of bed in time to catch Peter's hurt and disappointed look.

"None of my buisness?" he moaned in his squeaky little voice. "You blew me off, I think I have a right to know why. Do you know what I ended up doing last night? I worked on a potions essay. I was that desperate," Peter informed them, turning to Sirius for support. Sirius shrugged, scowling. He pulled his robes over his head and walked out of the room. He heard James telling Peter to ignore it and stop talking about it as he marched sullenly down the stairs to the common room.

Today was a Friday, so at least if things didn't go well with Remus then Sirius would be able to hide out in his bed for the entire weekend and not speak to anyone. Remus was still in the hospital wing recooperating from his previous night as a werewolf, but he would be back in the afternoon or by dinner time at the latest. This morning, however, Sirius would have the great pleasure of watching Severus recieve his letter.

He made his way to the great hall and waited for the post. James and Peter followed him down moments later and took seats on either side of him. They ate in silence, James still looking worried about him. Sirius gave him a half hearted smile of encouragment, trying to convince him that he was all right.

Just then the post arrived and although Sirius did not have a letter, he caught sight of his owl. He whistled and his owl seemed to hear, as it flew over to him. Sirius gave him a strip of bacon off of his plate while tying the note to his leg and then sent it off, whispering the name of the recipient. His owl made a high pitched screeching sound and took off, overturning Peter's pumpkin juice, and flew over to the Slytherin table.

Sirius smirked as he saw Severus read the letter and scowl. He saw him crumple it and rip it to shreds and throw amurderous look at Sirius. '_Ha, stupid git, now he wont have anything to show Dumbledore as proof that I did a half assed job at my apology. Well more like a quarter assed job on it...not even,'_ Sirius thought, smirking.

Sirius tried to act like his normal self for the rest of the day, but he did not think he was doing a very good job. People did not know what had happened the night before, no one was talking about it. Apparently Snape had done his part in not telling the story, because Sirius was sure that if he had told even one person, all of Hogwarts would have known within the hour.

People were, however, still buzzing about the love potion incedent, which had somehow gotten out. James's part in it was not revealed, and no one knew about the death eaters coming to Hogwarts, if they had than pandamonium would have broken out. Dumbledore appeared to be very good at keeping Hogwarts events under wraps, however, because nothing about it occured in the Daily Prophet.

The only story that Sirius was hearing was that Snape had given Lily a love potion, it had worked, and that was why she had been acting like such a fool lately. The general concensus seemed to be that it had worn off over time. Sirius smirked every time he heard this rendition of the story, knowing that he knew the truth along with a few others. He had the wonderful sensation of knowing smething that no one else knew.

James was concerned with Sirius. He seemed to be very disconnected from what was going on around him and was just walking around as if in a daze. James was not, however, concerned enough to miss his opportunity to talk to Lily. They had not had a chance to really talk about the love potion thing, and he did not know what she knew about the previous night's events. He did not know whether or not he should tell her, but he thought that he would. She would want to know, and he could trust her not to tell anyone. Besides, she already knew Remus's secret, so what harm would it do?

He found her, as usual, in the library. She was sitting alone, so he sat down next to her. She frowned slightly, a crease growing apparent between her eyebrows.

"Hello Lily," James said brightly, with all the enthusiasm he could muster.

"Hi James," Lily replied, looking skeptical. Slowly she closed her books and pushed them aside. "What is it that you want?" she asked, obviously still not trusting his motives in regard to being in a library, considering his intentions last time.

James reminded himself that she was probably the only one in Hogwarts who didn't know about his public display of affection for her from last week when he had stood up on the table and professed his love for her. People had stopped talking about it by now, so he doubted very much that anyone had said anything, unless of course it was Cooper. He wondered if they were still friends after the week of her obsession with Snape. Perhaps he should ask...but that was probably not the best thing to do under the circumstances.

"Will you go out with me?" he asked. _'Stupid, stupid, James. Why? I thought that we agreed it was not a good idea. Stupid great prat,'_ he chided himself mentally.

"No. Is that what you came here for?" Lily asked him.

"No, it's not actually." James told her.

"Did you come here to give me a new and improved love potion so that I could make a fool of myself again to the whole school? The only consolation that I have is my knowledge that you looked like an equally large fool, from what I hear." So she did know. _'Drat it all,'_ James thought to himself.

"Yes well, you see, about that-" James started to explain, but she cut him off.

"Or did you come to destory some more friendships?" Lily asked him.

"Lily, I don't-" James told her, looking surprised. _Was this still about Alice? _

"James, I really can't speak to you right now. I'm glad you saved me from the death eaters and all, but honestly, leave me alone," she said, almost begging. Apparently the anger and resentment that she had not been showing during his explanation that night had surfaced, and she was now ready to take it out on him.

"I'm sorry Lily, but I can't do that," James told her, shaking his head slowly. She ran her hands through her hair in a tired and world weary way. "Look, you don't have to talk to me. I'll talk to you. That's why I came here," he told her. She did not reply. "So I don't know if you've heard anything about what happened last night..." he then went on to tell her everything that had happened, up to and including Sirius and his conversation with Dumbledore and the punishmets they had recieved.

"Why are you telling me this?" she asked him when he had finished.

"Because I trust you, and because I know you won't tell anyone, and because I thought you would like to know," James told her. "And because I wanted to prove to you that I'm not always a bad guy. Dumbledore doesn't think so at least," James added. Lily smiled faintly.

"Yes I suppose that's true," she admitted. "Well if that's all you wanted..." Lily said after a long silence.

"It is. Are you sure you wont go out with me?" James asked after standing and walking part way towards the door.

"Positive," Lily told him, although in truth she was not.

For the entire week that she had been under Sirius's spell, she had been ignoring Cooper. He had not known what it meant that she was suddenly infatuated with Severus, but he had not bought her story of a love potion.

Lily told him over and over again that it had all been because of the potion, but he thought that she had been ignoring him because of Potter. He had seen what he had said that day in the great hall. To be sure Lily had run off, but he was still suspicious. Potter had made not only himself and Lily look like fools, but he had made Cooper look like an idiot as well. Everyone in his own house and probably most of the other houses knew that he and Lily had been spending a great amount of time together. There were pools going on how long it would be until Potter attacked and disfigured Cooper. A lot of people had stakes in the next game, saying that without a doubt Potter would knock Cooper off his broom. And then when he had said that in front of the entire school...well you could imagine how that made Cooper look.

Potter had always had a thing for Lily. He was surprised that he had not been threatened or beat up before now. No doubt a confrontation was in the making. But now it would not be neccessary because he and Lily were no longer anywhere close to being an item.

Lily, after James left, went to find Cooper. She missed his company and wanted him to know it. She wanted him to beleive her about the love potion. She liked him, not Severus or James. Well, the not liking James was still up for debate, but she did not want to like him, and that made a great deal more difference, didn't it?

She found him also sitting alone reading. He was a lot like her that way. She sat down across from him and remained motionless until he looked up at her.

"Yes?" he asked a little coldly.

"I miss you," she told him.

"You do? I thought that Snape was much better company," he said jealously.

"Of course he isn't! How many times must I tell you that it was a love potion, not me? When have you ever seen me behave like that before? Never. And that's because he gave me a love potion." She left out the part about James being the one to have administered the potion, she did not know why but she did not want people to know that it had been him to give it to her. Somehow she knew that if she added that part it would make Cooper more mad. "Cooper, please believe me. I really like you, I wasn't going around with Snape because I liked him. I don't even remember anything that happened that week. It's all gone, I don't remember any of it. All I know is from what people have told me. I never would have conciously ignored you or treated you like that, I promise." Lily told him beseachingly. Cooper shrugged reluctantly. "You believe me?" Lily asked eagerly.

"I suppose so. You've never seemed like the kind of person who would make something like that up," Cooper admitted. The truth was he missed Lily too. That and he had been told by countless people that it had been a love potion, and that Lily was telling the truth. It was all the gossip around Hogwarts.

"So we can be friends again?" Lily confirmed.

"Yes," Cooper said. Then, after a moments hesitation he continued. "Lily, I was actually kind of hoping we could be more than friends," Cooper told her. He might as well press his advantage of having her being in the position of apologizing and claiming that she missed him. What would it hurt?

"Really?" Lily asked.

"Yes. What do you think? We could just try it out, see how it feels. There's this new place in Hogsmede, Madam Puddeyfoots, it's supposed to be really cute. We could go there together next Hogsmede weekend," Cooper suggested. Lily smiled, her face brightening.

"That sounds nice," Lily consented.

"Really? Great," Cooper said, beaming. They returned to their work, tehir conversation drifting to other topics.

Lily was happy, but part of her felt a little empty. She did not know what was missing. Perhaps it was just part of the constant lonliness that is being a teenager. But something else felt different too, sort of a deja vu sensation, like she was watching the same film about a girl named Lily who was not herself that she had seen so many times before. And it was getting old.

Sirius made his way to the hospital wing during lunch. He couldn't handle having the thought of telling Remus looming over him for any longer. If he missed a class, so what? He had done worse. He walked into the hospital wing with only a semblance of his usual swaggering self confidence. He was very much more subdued then usual.

"Pads, what are you doing here?" Remus said, sitting up a little in his bed. He was looking pale and his cheeks were hollowed, just as he always looked after a transformation. "What happened last night? I don't remember anything. Usually I remember at least bits a pieces, especially this year, but I don't remember anything from last night. Did you guys come?" Remus asked him, collapsing back into the pillows.

"Well, truth be told, no." Sirius told him, shifting how weight between his feet. He pulled a chair over and sat so that he could be closer to eye level with Remus.

"What happened?" Remus asked him, blissfully unaware of the previous night's occurance. "What's up with you?" Remus asked, scrutinizing Sirius's face.

"Remus, I did something stupid. You're going to hate me after I tell you, and I'll understand and even encourage you never to speak to me again. I took advantage of you, lied to you, was rash and stupid and I apologize. I don't know what I was thinking. I thought that I should be the one to tell you though, before you heard from someone else," Sirius started. He saw Remus give him a puzzled look. He was as unaccustomed as everyone else to this somber Sirius who actually appeared to have thought about his actions and regret them. "What did you do?" Remus asked slowly. "I told Severus how to find you. Let me tell everything and don't interupt," Sirius told him. He then went on to tell everything that had happened the night before, leaving nothing out and telling the entire truth. He did not slant the story to downsize his own part, or to make Severus sound more in the wrong. Remus desserved the truth.

When he had finished Remus just sat there. For a moment Sirius thought that he had perhaps fallen asleep, lulled by Sirius's voice into a slumber with his eyes open.

"Remus?" Sirius asked.

"I didn't hurt anyone, did I?" Remus almost whispered.

"No, James got there in time to prevent that," Sirius told him.

"No one knows?" Remus asked him, still whispering and looking off into the middle distance. He seemed to be worlds away, thinking about something else entirely.

"Only Severus," Sirius told him.

"I think you should go now," Remus told him. He did not yell. He would never yell at Sirius about this. In fact, he would never broach the subject with him again.

"Remus-" Sirius started, about to apologize again.

"I really need to be alone, I need to think, I need especially to be away from you right now. Send James if you get a chance," Remus told him, rolling onto his side. As Sirius left he thought he heard Remus's choked sobs, sobs which he was obviously trying very hard to prevent.

Remus

This had been a rude awakening for Remus. He could really have hurt someone. He could have killed Severus. And what would that have done? How many lives would he have changed forever? Sirius had completely betrayed his trust. But he did not really blame him. He had only been the enzyme in this instance, increasing the speed of the inevitable outcome. Someone had been bound to find out some day. This kind of thing could not be kept secret. He did not know how Dumbledore had ever expected to keep it hidden. It was a miracle that he had kept it hidden for so long. Perhaps Remus should leave Hogwarts forever, so as not to put anyone else at risk.

Remus rolled over on his hospital matress and cried. He cried for all the people he could have hurt, and he cried for all the other werewolves in his position, but most of all he cried for himself.

The Slytherins

"Shut up, you little worm. You are in no position to argue right now. You have no right to even be here after that fiasco with the mudblood. Why on earth didn't you try to stop those nosy Gryffindors from getting into the tower? Never mind. I don't even want to attempt to phathom the workings of your obviously tiny and incompetent mind," Lucious spat at Severus, looking murderous and also revolted. "You are weak, Severus, and the Dark Lord needs powerful allies. You are not worthy of serving him."

There were murmers of agreement at this pronouncement, which was only to be expected of this crowd. Everything Lucious said was met with murmers of agreement and nods.

_'They're all a bunch of puppets and he's the puppeteer,'_ Severus thought darkly as he looked around the circle.

"But to lose your prefects badge for it? How did it get out for God's sake? Why didn't you deny it?" Bella added, joining in on the attack and sneering, as she always did. She would have been quite pretty if she weren't always sneering.

"I told you," Severus muttered, eyes downcast. "Potter snitched on me like the little weasle that he is, I couldn't deny it. Black corroberated his story, Evans too," Severus told them. "There was nothing I could do," he snarled as this pronouncement was met with shaking heads and laughter.

"We've been over this already, many times," Lucious said, waving his hand. It was true, they had been over this many times before. "I still don't understand..." he moaned, massaging his temples.

"Oh, Lucious, I think that I understand. I think that you do too, much as you would like to deny it," Bella told him, casting Severus calculating look.

"What's that Trixie?" Lucious asked. Bella sneered again.

"Our dear Severus is in love with the mudblood," she said simply. All eyes were fixated on Severus. He squirmed in his seat. Everyone, it seemed, had stopped breathing just to stare at him and get his reaction.

"That is a lie," he said slowly, forcing the words out one at a time.

"I think not, Sneverus. Perhaps it would be best if you stopped coming to our little meetings, you can't trust someone who is in love with the enemy," Bella suggested mildly. Heads were nodding all around him. "Perhaps this will give you time to decide where your loyalties truely lie. Then maybe we can avoid another instance similar to that which occured in the astronomy tower."

"Yes," Lucious said. There was nothing else that he could really add. Bella had outlined the entire plan of action, leaving nothing for him to say. He did look slightly irritated by that, but he was still smug over the plan. And it was effectively his order which made it happen. Before Crabbe and Goyle could 'escort' him from the gathering, his rose of his own free will and walked away, cloak swirling.

"Now that that has been taken care of, shall we move on?" Bella suggested.

Alice, Holly, Caroline, and Janette were blissfully unaware of everything that had happened. They knew that she had been under a love potion, but they knew nothing of anything else. All they had eben told was that James had given her the potion that night and, while they had ben a little annoyed at him for doing so after agreeing to wait until the next morning, they forgave him. Lily had deffended him, much to their suprise.

But Lily was growing more distant from her friends lately, she had not told them anything of what had happened with the whomping willow, or with the death eaters, or anything. She did, however, tell Hazel. They were sitting in the library three days after it had happened when Lily told her. Lily had been reviewing for a transfiguration test when she suddenly slammed her book shut.

"What's wrong Lily?" Hazel asked with suprise, looking up from her own book.

"I have to tell you something," Lily said simply. Hazel closed her book and waited patiently.

"Okay, I'm listening," she prompted when Lily did not speak. Lily looked around nervously, checking to see if anyone was there. Then she produced her wand and muttered something that glittered faintly for a moment before diappearing. It had looked to Hazel like a sort of wall around their table.

"Don't worry, it's just so that no one can overhear us," Lily explained. Hazel was intrigued now. What could be so secretive? Lily went on to tell her all about what had happened with the love potion, the real story, not just the edited one that she had told her.

She had originally told Hazel the same thing she had told Holly, Janette, Alice, and Caroline, which was that James was trying to be helpful so he gave her the potion the night before. She told Hazel everything, all the way through the whomping willow incedent, not scimping on any of the details. She did not even attempt to downplay Sirius's role.

"Wow," was all Hazel said when the story was over.

"Yeah," Lily agreed.

"So are you still mad at him?" Hazel asked, reffering, Lily assumed, to James.

"Of course I am. He tried to make me fall in love with him, Hazel!" Lily told her. She did not have to worry about being hushed by Madam Pince due to the very handy impenitrable charm.

"Oh," hazel replied. it was obvious that her mind was somewhere else.

"Do you think I should forgive him?" Lily demanded.

"You can't force yourself to forgive someone, so even if I told you to it wouldn't make a difference," Hazel observed.

"Well yes, but you do think I should forgive him?" Lily confirmed.

"I don't know. He was very brave, going into that tree to save Severus. He hates Severus," Hazel told her, still looking into the middle distance.

"Yes, I suppose so," Lily conceeded.

"And he did save you from the death eaters too," Hazel added.

"Well maybe so, but I wouldn't have needed saving if he hadn't given me the potion," Lily told her.

"See, I told you. No matter what I say, you are determined not to forgive him, so it doesn't really matter, does it?" Hazel told her, making to open her book again.

"Well you know, I might forgive him if I had a reason to," Lily grumbled.

"I've just given them to you. And just so you know, I bet Severus would have found some other way to get you to fall in love with him even if James had refused," Hazel told her, flipping through the pages to find her spot.

"Well then he's just stupid," Lily told Hazel. She had really wanted someone to say _'oh yes, that James Potter, what a prat.'_

"Or you could take it as a compliment," Hazel suggested. "Look, I have to go, but I'll talk to you later," Hazel told her, shoving the book in her bag distractedly and leaving the library. Lily took down the shield and resumed her studying.

"Stupid James," she muttered as she picked up where she had left off in her transfiguration notes. Hazel, rather than returning to her common room, made her way in what she knew to be the general direction of the Gryffindor tower. She needed to find Sirius. He was going to be very upset right now. That would explain why he had been moping around the castle lately. It would also explain why Remus was looking so devastated recently. She saw someone walking along the corridor towards her.

"Excuse me, are you in Gryffindor?" she asked of the younger student.

"Yes," the blonde girl said, looking nervous.

"Will you find Sirius Black for me? I'm in Ravenclaw and I can't go into the tower," he explained.

"Are you his girlfriend?" the girl asked curiously.

"No," Hazel told her, blushing.

"Oh, well okay then. I'll go get him for you. What's your name?" the girl asked as she turned around to go back in the direction she had come from.

"Hazel," Hazel replied.

"Oh, I'm Amelia Bones," the girl replied. "I'm a fourth year," she said, sounding somewhat proud of herself. The girl then turned and walked back up the hallway to her house common room. Hazel was suprised. A fourth year? She had not looked older than twelve. But perhaps that was just Hazel. The younger students looked so much younger than she remembered looking when she had been that age. Amelia returned about ten minutes later, a disgruntled and incredulous looking Sirius in her wake. Hazel had just been losing hope of Amelia ever coming back, she thought maybe she had just taken some other route to her destination, shaking her head at the weirdness of the older girl. But here she was, task completed. Sirius stopped still when he saw Hazel standing there.

"Hi," Hazel said.

"Hi," Sirius replied, still looking amazed to see her. Amelia tactfully left. "What are you doing here?" Sirius asked her.

"I came to find you," Hazel told him.

"I gathered. I didn't believe Amelia when she told me that you had come to find me," Sirius told her.

"Why not?" Hazel asked.

"We didn't exactly part on the best of terms last time, if you'll remember," Sirius commented.

"Yes, well, can we not talk about that?" Hazel asked him. She wanted to add _'ever'_.

"Okay. What is it that you wanted to talk about?" Sirius asked her, looking puzzled. He brushed his hair out of his eyes, making Hazel smile. Truth be told, she had missed Sirius.

"Well," Hazel started, than she paused. She had not really thought about what it was she wanted to say, which was not very like her. She usually had an entire speach planned out at this point, but this time she had been too occupied with trying to find him at all that she hadn't thought about what she would say when she did find him.

"Well?" Sirius asked her.

"Lily told me," Hazel told him.

"Lily told you what?" Sirius asked her, more confused than ever.

"Everything. She told me about Remus, about the willow, about everything. The potion, everything," Hazel told him.

"Oh," Sirius said, shifting guiltily from one foot to the other. "So I suppose you've come to tell me off then?" Sirius asked.

"Oh Sirius," Hazel said, shaking her head. She walked towards him, closing the gap between them, and wrapped her arms around him. He stood there frozen for a moment. Then he put his arms around her. They stood there like that for a long time. Someone passed them and gave them a funny look, which made Sirius straighten up. He was always very conscience of his public image. He lead her into an empty classroom that was down the hall and sat at a desk across from her.

"Hazel, I don't know why I did it," he confessed. She looked at him with more tenderness and concern than he had ever recieved in his life. He started to cry, tears leaking out of the corners of his eyes no matter how he tried to stem their flow. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "You should tell me off, Hazel," he said at last. "I wish someone would just yell at me. Dumbledore didn't, he just gave me a lecture. Remus didn't, James told me I was an idiot, Severus is the only one who really yelled at me, and even he didn't too bad because Dumbeldore was right there. I wish someone would just give me a good holler and hit me really hard," Sirius told her.

"It's okay Sirius. If you really want me to hit you, I will. But I think that you're beating yourself up more than anyone else could," Hazel told him soothingly, stroking his hair out of his face. She tenderly wiped away the traces of tears lingering on his cheeks. It was as if no time had passed, as if they had never stopped being friends.

"Hazel, he could have died. And Remus could have killed him. He never would have forgiven himself for that. I don't think he'll ever really forgive me for it either." Sirius said, choking up again.

"Of course he will. We all make mistakes, Sirius. Just forget it. Well don't forget it, learn from it. Don't do it again. Think about the things you're doing, Sirius. You're so impulsive, I don't know how you've managed as long as you have without getting someone killed. Or almost getting someone killed. You're friends will forgive you, Sirius, don't worry. I know they will," Hazel told him. He nodded, then shook his head.

"If I were my friend, I wouldn't firgive me," he told her.

"Well your other friends will. You may not forgive yourself for a while, but that might be a good thing. Maybe you'll stop picking on other students," Hazel told him, smiling.

"Will you forgive me?" Sirius asked.

"I'm not mad at you," Hazel told him.

"Will Lily forgive me?"

"I'm sure that she will," Hazel said with confidence.

"More importantly, I suppose, will Lily forgive James?" Sirius asked her, smiling a little himself.

"I think that she will," Hazel said, thinking about it for a moment. "I don't know when, but I think she will."

"And you won't tell anyone about Remus?" Sirius asked her.

"Of course not! I would never tell," Hazel told him.

"And," Sirius started, about to ask the thing that had been on his mind for some time. "And will we be friends again?" he asked her.

"Do you want to be?" Hazel asked.

"Yes," Sirius said at once.

"Then yes," Hazel said, smiling.

Remus still had not forgiven himself for the incedent with Severus. He knew it wasn't his fault, but he could have really hurt him. He needed to leave Hogwarts. He could not continue putting others at risk like this.

He was walking down the hallway to Dumbledore's office while he thought this. He had been to Dumbeldore's office before to talk about his condition. He tapped on tha statue of the gargoyle and softly called for Dumbledore.

"Ah, Mr. Lupin, I had expected you to come by soon," Dumbledore said as he opened the door.

"Yes," Remus confirmed. He follwed Dumbledore up the moving spiral staircase and entered Dumbledore's office with him. "Professor, I've just come to tell you that I'm leaving Hogwarts," Remus told him, not sitting down.

"What?" Professor Dumbledore asked, obviously caught off guard.

"I can't keep putting the other students at risk like this. It isn't fair to them," Remus said, turning to go. "I just thought I should tell you."

"Sit down, Mr. Lupin," Dumbledore instructed. Remus reluctantly sat down in a seat opposite Dumbledore. "That is a very noble thing to want to do, Mr. Lupin," Dumbledore said.

"It's not that noble. I never should have been allowed to come here to begin with. What happened the other night was proof of that."

"You'll forgive me for saying so, but I think you're wrong," Dumbledore said mildly.

"Professor, I could have killed someone," Remus told him. "How long did you really think we would be able to keep this a secret? Even if Sirius hadn't told, it would have gotten out sooner or later."

"Mr. Lupin, if you give up your schooling you will never be able to survive out there, you will never be able to get a job, to make a living for yourself,"  
Dumbledore told him.

"Honestly professor, how many people do you think want to hire a werewolf anyway, even an educated one?" Remus asked reasonably. "Stop kidding yourself, I'm not going to be able to make anything of myself, so I may as well leave and let the people who have a chance out there survive long enough to do just that."

"More than who want to hire an uneducated one, that's for sure. And if you don't mind my saying so, who knows how many jobs there will even be soon. You know about the death eaters and the Voldemort, I presume?" Remus nodded. "You will need an education if only to deffend yourself, Mr. Lupin. Please listen to me when  
I tell you to stay at Hogwarts. It is the safest place for you and for anyone else," Professor Dumbledore told him. Remus nodded. "So you'll give up these notions of leaving school?" Dumbledore asked.

"Yes sir," Remus told him.

"Very well then, I suggest you run along to dinner," Dumbedlore told him. Remus left, silently cursing himself for not being able to argue.

**Author's Note: Okay, so I hope you all enjoyed that to some extent. I rather did I think...Poor Remus, I love him. Poor James, I love hime too...I had to get Hazel back into Sirius's life because it was just getting too sad to write really. I like writing about the Slytherins, actually. And ppor James! Lily and Cooper...shivvers. I had to get Hazel and Sirius together so that I would be able to hold out a little longer on James and Lily's burgeoning relationship...too bad really. Review!  
**


	26. Hogsmeade

Chapter 26

Hogsmeade

The weekend approached quickly. Lily was happy, or at least she thought she was. She wasn't entirely sure what happiness was anymore. She assumed that she was happy. She had her friends, James had stopped bothering her and had treated her instead in a casual but respectful and friendly manner, which was more than she could have hoped for. She had to admit that part of her, the part where all her vanity was located, missed his attentions. But whenever her mind wandered in that direction she just shook her head and diverted herself with other subjects. Such as her studies. Exams were fast approaching, and these were very important tests. The last tests she would take at Hogwarts except the NEWTs. Hazel and Sirius were getting closer every day, and Frank was coming up to spend the weekend with Alice in Hogsmeade. Lily was happy, she was sure she was. She had to be happy. She had nothing to be sad about.

Lily smiled at her reflection, taking in her red curls stretching down the back of her black robes. It was time for a haircut. She was going into Hogsmeade on her date with Cooper today. She was going to have a wonderful time. She liked Cooper. She was Cooper's girlfriend. Of course she was happy. She took a deep breath. Perhaps the stomach ache she had been walking around with for the past week was just from idigestion, nothing else.

She walked down the stairs into the great hall where many students all from different houses were milling about waiting to be checked off of Filtch's list. She saw Cooper standing awkwardly near the exit waiting for her. She made her way through the crowd over to him.

"Hi." She said.

"Hey," he replied, smiling down at her. "You ready?"

"Sure," she said, falling into step behind him as they wove their way through the crowd and passed Filtch. They got into a carriage and were transported to Hogsmeade. They were the only ones in their carriage, which was very uncomfortable because Lily was not sure where she was meant to sit with respect to Cooper. She ended sitting between two seats so that she was close to him but not too close. There was very little conversation on the ride over. Lily did not feel right. The hollow pit in her stomach seemed to expand. "I'm very hungry," she observed. "Do they serve food at this Miss Puddleyfeet's place?" she asked him.

"Madam Puddyfoot's. And I think they do, yes. It's mostly just coffee though as far as I've heard."

"Oh," Lily replied, trying to ignore her pain. This brief exchange was followed by more silence. Lily was very grateful when they arrived finally in Hogsmeade. For some reason the ride seemed much longer than it ever had before. "Oh, look, the snows all melted. Don't you just love Hogsmeade in the spring?" she asked, gesturing towards the window boxes of flowers and the outdoor tables placed in front of some shops.

"Yeah, it's nice." Cooper replied absently. Lily struggled to think of more to say to make their walk to Madam Puddeyfoot's less awkward, but she could not come up with much.

"Of course, Hogsmeade is very pretty in the winter as well, everything all frosted over. It always looks just like a little gingerbread village, or something out of a snow globe." Lily said, laughing lightly.

"Hmm." Cooper grunted in response.

"Riiight…" Lily said. "What's your favorite season, Cooper?" she asked.

"Summer I guess. But fall's nice too. So are winter and spring. I guess I don't really have a favorite."

"Oh. Well that's a very cheery disposition. It must be nice to have such a positive outlook on life," she said, trying to smile and make her voice sound as far from sarcastic as she could. No reaction registered on Cooper's face. He merely nodded.

They continued the rest of the way in silence. Lily grew stubborn. She was not going talk if he wasn't. He had invited her here after all. Wasn't he the one who was meant to be making all the effort here? If this was going to be hard work then she was not interested. If he wouldn't talk, neither would he.

They entered the low cielinged shop with the sign signifying that it was Madam Puddyfoot's. Lily looked around her, slightly disgusted. That a boy should choose this place to come on a first date…well, James would never bring her here. Everything seemed to be pink. There were little tables close to the floor and pink cushions and bean bags and little puffs to sit on. There was a counter with a server behind it who was wearing a pink apron. There were pink menus on each table, with the offerings written in a scrolling cursive in gold lettering. Cooper lead the way over to a table in the corner, very secluded and well away from the view of the other occupants of the shop. There was another couple from school on the opposite side. They were leaning very close to each other over the table and holding hands. It looked as if whatever they were talking about was a very involved and passionate conversation.

Lily sat down on a pink puff, looking around and wondering what exactly she was meant to be doing. Cooper, to her astonishment, sat next to her. He reached for the menu and asked her what she wanted. She settled on a pink frosted doughnut and a hot chocolate, she was not much of a coffee drinker. He ordered some fancy latte type of drink. Cooper looked as if he knew how the place worked as he tapped with his wand on the items they wanted and then put the menu in a slot in the center of the table. Lily sat there, wondering how they were meant to get their food and wondering why Cooper had say down next to her. He still was not talking. To her surprise the two drinks and her doughnut appeared on the table the next second. She looked around, wondering how that had happened. Cooper laughed at her.

"It's magic, silly," he said by way of an explanation.

"You'd think I'd be more used to it by now," said Lily, reaching for her doughnut.

"Don't eat that just yet," Cooper said, grabbing her hand and moving it away.

"Why on earth not?" said Lily surprised. Cooper did not let go of her hand. "Is there more?" she looked around, expecting more magic.

"No," he said. He was quiet for another few seconds, just long enough to make Lily blush and feel highly uncomfortable. She looked at her hand, which was still enveloped in his. He shifted a little so that he was very close to her. He was breathing heavily too. Lily suddenly understood. She blushed even more and was about to move away when he planted his lips on hers. He released her hand, finally, to reach his hands behind her back. Lily did not know what to do, so she just sat there. It took her a few moments to come to her senses and start to kiss him back. She felt the hollow in her stomach widen even farther. Her lips were sore and he was pushing his tongue in her mouth. She was confused, and his hands on her spine were cold. He was moving her shirt up little by little. This was not the place for this to be happening. This was their first date. She leaned back a little, but Cooper took this as encouragement and began kissing her more passionately.

Lily was very uncomfortable. Her legs were crossed and this was quite possibly the least convenient position to be sitting in for this type of activity. Cooper too was positioned quite oddly, his back curved and leaning at an awkward angle so that he could reach her. His lips moved from her mouth so her throat. His kissed were sticky and wet. She could tell that he had had a lot of pumpkin juice for breakfast. He had also eaten a lot of mints fairly recently, probably to mask whatever else he had been eating. She did not really like the flavor. It was very cold and impersonal.

Lily pulled back, breathless. She did not know how long they had been kissing for, certainly no more than five or ten minutes. The other couple didn't seem to have noticed them at all. "what are you doing?" Lily demanded.

"I was about o ask you the same question," Cooper replied.

"You bring me to this weird place, don't let me eat my doughnut, hardly say a word to me the entire time we're together, and then shove your tongue down my throat and expect that to be ok? This is a first date! What are you thinking?" Lily demanded, growing outraged as she spoke. He face flushed as she spoke. She rose to her feet and turned on her heel. "Whatever this might be…" she gestured at the space between them, "is over. If it ever even started." She then marched out. She threw a look at the couple in the corner to see if they had even noticed. They seemed too involved in gazing into each other's eyes to even notice or care about the lives of other people.

Out on the street again Lily decided to go to Honeydukes to buy some sweets to tide her over until dinner at the castle. The shop was full of students buying all kinds of sweets. She saw one girl buying some cockroach cluster and made a face. That girl was in for a real surprise. She probably thought they were peanuts. Lily bought some chocolate frogs and some licorice wands. Taking her bag of sweets with her, she went to the Three Broomsticks to buy some butterbeer. She entered the pub, which was as usual full of Hogwarts students. She approached the counter and found the barmaid, Rosmerta, in charge. She remembered her first meeting with the girl and was not surprised when she received a glare. Lily suspected that Rosmerta had a little bit of a crush on James. Lily was about to ask for a butterbeer when she changed her mind and requested a firewhisky. She was not sure that Rosmerta would serve it to her, but she hoped she would. Rosmerta gave her an odd look and Lily sensed the refusal on her lips when her gaze shifted.

"Well helllllo there James!" she cooed. "Is Sirius with you today?"

"No, he's back at the castle. He's on restrictions from Hogsmeade, unfortunately," James said with a sigh. Lily's head snapped around and she met James's eyes. She smiled a little and brushed her hair out of her face. He ruffled his hair. She scowled at him. "Hey there Lily," he said.

"Hi," Lily replied.

"Can I join you for a butterbeer?" he asked. Lily was about to accept his offer when Rosmerta interrupted.

"Actually this one doesn't want butterbeer," she said slyly. James looked from Rosmerta to Lily, confused. "She wants firewhisky. At least that's what she says. And I was just about to ask her for some identification to prove she was of age."

"Firrewhisky, Lily?" James asked, looking skeptical. He looked her up and down, seeming impressed.

"Yes. Do you have a problem?"og Lily demanded defensively, not liking the look in his eyes.

"Not at all. Make it two Rosie m'dear." James said, smiling and winking at Rosmerta. Lily felt outraged on the girl's behalf. He was using the fact that she idolized him to his advantage! Lily opened her mouth to say something, but Rosmerta had already winked in return and left to get him two mugs of firewhisky. Lily closed her mouth. Rosmerta returned and handed James the two mugs. Lily reached for her money, but James was too quick for her. He had already paid and was leading the way over to a table in the corner. 'Oh god, another corner…' thought Lily as she sat down. James, however, sat down across from her.

"Well now, chocolates and whisky. I sense a slight case of the blues here Lily. Did you get dumped?" he asked.

"That was very forward," Lily said, blushing again and taking a sip of her drink. She coughed and spluttered a little as her throat burned. James smirked.

"And that was very evasive," he replied, taking a long swig of his whisky.

"Show off" muttered Lily. She took a large bite of chocolate and passed the bag to James. He helped himself to some licorice.

"Ew, cherry licorice?" he demanded.

"Yeah, what of it?" Lily asked, still in her defensive mood.

"Nothing, it just explains some things."

"Like what?" Lily asked, intrigued as to what her taste in candy could possibly reveal.

"Well I always suspected you had bad taste, you know rejecting me and everything, but now I'm sure of it. It's just comforting." Lily couldn't help from laughing.

"I actually meant to get strawberry. I didn't realize it was cherry. I was a little distracted when I bought it."

"Well lucky for you I'll eat anything, so I'll relieve you of the offensive candies." James said, shoving a candy in his mouth.

"How very chivalrous of you." Lily said, laughing a little in spite of herself.

"So you didn't answer my question. Did you just get dumped?" James asked, a little too eagerly to be polite.

"No. I did the dumping thank you," Lily said coolly.

"How very…modern of you. What did that piece of scum do to you?" James demanded, outraged.

"It just didn't feel right." Lily told him, realizing that her stomach no longer hurt as much. It must have been the chocolate. She took another sip of whisky. It went down a little more smoothly this time.

"Right. Well if that's what you expect me to believe then you must think I'm a good deal more clueless than I am…" James told her.

"No, it's true!" she said. He fixed her with his steady, comforting gaze. His chocolate eyes were very warm. "Well, it's partially true at least," she added, feeling compelled inexplicably to be honest with him.

"As I suspected. Now what's the other part?" he asked.

"Well what I should have said was that it didn't feel right when he brought me into a back corner and started shoving his tongue down my throat," Lily told him, blushing. She didn't want to talk about this with James of all people.

"How dare he!" James cried, incensed.

"Calm down, James," Lily cried out, worried.

"Sorry. I'm just very mad. Doesn't he know you're better than that? He should treat you with more respect than that. I mean, I understand treating some random girl like that. But not you. You're a lady." He blushed a deeper crimson.

"From what I understand you yourself have been known to treat many ladies in just that way," she accused him, not being able to resist the temptation to feel flattered.

"No. I would never do that to a lady," James told her seriously. "Unless I'd paid her first," he said, winking. Lily was shocked. "Joke, Lily."

"Oh, right," she said. She took another gulp of her firewhisky. "Empty, sad." She said, looking at the bottom of her cup. James laughed.

"I don't think you need another."

"No, I suppose you're right," Lily told him, feeling a little light headed. She was warm and fuzzy. This was happy. She knew that this must be what happy was.


	27. Author's Note

Authors note: okay so I know I havent written in like...a year or so. or less. i actually dont know. but anyway I forget what's going on so if someone could bring me up to speed or point out any inconsistencies, that woud be great. my only excuse for not writing is that i started a new school, boarding school, so i was a little stressed and adjusting and all. anyway, i also dont really rememebr where i was going with this story so if someone could throw out ideas or anything...I know I made notes in a journal about where i was going...only i lost the journal. so yeah. anyway. thanks tons! Diamond 


	28. Exams

**Chapter 27  
Exams**

Lily did not see much of James for the next week or so. She was spending much of her time behind a mounting pile of books. She was determined not to let the events of this year bring her down. She was going to ace all of her exams, she was sure of it. The weather was very nice now, so Lily took advantage of the fact that most people were outside studying in the gentle breeze to study in the quiet common room. Her best friends, Hazel, Alice, Caroline, and Holly, were all busy with their own lives. She saw the most of Alice as Frank didn't go to Hogwarts. However after any extended period of time, Alice got on her nerves. If she wasn't talking about Frank, then she would be smiling at some little secret joke only she and Frank shared, or darting off to write a letter to Frank, or giggling softly, or just gazing off into the distance in a way that made it painfully obvious what she was thinking about.

"Alice, will you please shut up!" Lily finally burst out, cutting across a soliloquy of Alice's in which she described for the third time Frank's reaction to her new dress robes. Alice huffed a little and then skulked off to the dormitory to see if anyone was there who might be willing to listen to her. Lily shook her head, feeling only marginally guilty for snapping. I mean, she told herself, I do have work that I need to do. And Alice is too happy to care anyway.

Lily made it through the end of term feeling only occasional twinges of loneliness. She became cranky far more quickly these days. She grew impatient with Hazel very quickly these days whenever she mentioned Sirius and how well things were going. She was telling a very long winded story pertaining to Sirius's family not liking her because she was a "mud-blood", but Lily really didn't have the energy these days to listen. She just heaved a sigh and turned a page in her book, hoping Hazel would get the message.

"Look, Lily I get it ok? You're jealous that I have someone for once and you don't. You've been cranky and distant for ages and ages. But just because you're bitter doesn't mean you should take it out on me, ok?" Hazel stood up. Lily almost called after her, but she really couldn't be bothered. It just wasn't worth it. She glanced up and saw Cooper looking at her from a table by the window a few rows away from her. She quickly looked away. They hadn't spoken since their disastrous first, and last, date. Lily sighed and picked up her books. She knew she wasn't going to get anything done here now. She brought some of her books back up to the common room, but it was far too noisy. Lily, being a prefect, was tempted to use her power to make the younger students shut up, but she decided not to. It was a Saturday after all. They had all day tomorrow to do homework. But the fifth years really should be studying for their OWLs.

Lily sat down at a table in the corner and piled her books around her head, hoping that would discourage anyone who was thinking of coming over to talk to her. Not that anyone would, she thought bitterly. She was just dozing off in the warm early evening sun when she felt someone tap her shoulder. She jumped, her face unsticking from the thin page of her Herbology textbook. "Oh, hello Remus," she said, breathing quickly. She smoothed her hair down and calmed herself. She had been having a fitful dream about hooded attackers and the dark mark hovering above her house.

"Everything OK Lily?" Remus asked.

"Wha- oh, yes, of course," Lily said, smiling.

"Ok," Remus said, looking at her in a puzzled way. "Well, I just wanted to remind you that we're on duty again tonight. Lucious and Bella were meant to be on duty tonight but they bailed out."

"What?" Lily demanded. "But…but that's two weeks in a row we'll be on duty on a Saturday!" She said, the injustice of it getting to her. "Stupid Slytherins." She muttered angrily.

"I know. Lucious says he's a bit 'off color'". Lily snorted derisively.

"As if," she muttered.

"I know," Lupin agreed, nodding. Well, I'll meet you here at 8:30?" he asked.

"Yeah," Lily said, sighing resignedly. He waved over his shoulder as he returned to his seat by the fire where he was playing chess with James. Peter was practically wetting himself I na seat nearby, and Sirius, Lily could only assume, was off somewhere with Hazel. Lily turned back to her book but knew it was a lost cause. She got up and stretched her legs a bit. They were all cramped from being in the same position for so long. She went down to dinner early and ate some potatoes, beans, and carrots. She was just finishing as most people were trickling down to start their dinners. Lily returned to the dormitory to finish a bit more homework before duty. She was going to be extremely bored tomorrow. She had finished all her homework for the next week and was bored with studying. Only five more class days and then tests and then it was all over she told herself. She'd be a seventh year next year and then more school to learn to be a healer, if she could get it. But that was all in the hazy and distant future. For now all she had to worry about was how she would get through an entire summer with her mom, Petunia, and Vernon. Lily was walking towards the door when she spotted professor Slughorn.

"Professor!" she called, smiling at the fat old man. He took some getting used to, but he was really quite jovial. He had promised to suggest her to a useful contact he had in St. Mungoes, so she planned to stay on his good side.

"Lily, my dear, how are you?" he asked, his round face bursting into a smile.

"I was wondering if I could use the potions room tomorrow afternoon," she asked. "Just feeling a bit off color, wanted to whip up a headache cure," she added.

"Of course, of course," Slughorn replied cheerily. "Just as long as you're not whipping up love potions or anything," he added, chuckling. Lily frowned at his reference to that embarrassing week under the influence of Snape's love potion. Slughorn laughed at her expression and walked away to the staff table, his wide belly shaking in merriment.

That night Lily was walking around the deserted corridors, wondering why this was at all necessary. It's not like anyone was here. And if they were, what did it matter? Who cared if students wandered the corridors at night? Just as she was considering turning in for the night and abandoning her duties, she heard a loud thump around the corner. She heard heavy breathing and a giggle. That was not the kind of thing she wanted to walk in on, whatever it was.

"Excuse me," she called, putting her head around the corner. What she saw was quite a shock. Lucious and Holly groping each other against a wall in a shadowy corner. There was no mistaking his platinum blond hair or her unmistakable figure. Lily coughed, embarrassed. She thought that Lucious and Narcissa Black were dating these days. She had heard that they were even engaged to be married when they left school. Lucious pushed Holly away and sneered. He sneered at Lily and turned, walking away, not even saying goodbye to Holly.

"Holly?" Lily asked, looking at her. Holly just sniffed as a response. "Holly, why do you let him treat you like that?" Lily asked, going slightly red. He had just shoved her and walked away from her! That was not at all nice. "And isn't he with that horid Narcissa girl?" Lily asked. She wished she hadn't as she saw Holly's eyes welling up with tears.

"Oh Lily!" she gasped, throwing herself at her friend.

"There there, Holly," Lily said, patting her friend on the back confusedly.

"Lily," Holly sniffed, "Lily I wanted to tell you that were were seeing each other. I really did. But he told me that I mustn't tell anyone. He told me that if people found out he would never speak to me again."

"Holly! How can you let him just use you like that?" Lily demanded.

"He doesn't use me, Lily," Holly said, looking upset. "You really mustn't think that. He's so sweet to me when we're alone. And he told me, he told me that he loved me," Holly managed to get out around her sobs. "But-but then when we're around anyone else, or if there are people around, he's horrible!" Holly said, tears leaking out of the corners of her eyes as she swatted them away.

"Why do you let him get away with that?" Lily asked, furious at her friend's weakness.

"He says it's just because he has an image to maintain. He says no one else knows the real him. That only I really get to see what he's like. He says he really does love me, and he wants to be with me. He said that his mother is ill and it would kill her if she thought he wasn't with Narcissa, so Narcissa can't suspect. And he says that if she saw him being nice to a girl as-as intimidating and as-as beautiful as I am. He says that if she saw that she'd be suspicious and-and she's be jea-jealous and she-she'd put a stop to it." Holly spluttered, choking back her sobs. "Lily, I don't know what to do! I love him so much, Lily. You really can't tell anyone about this. If it got around then we'd be finished. He'd never speak to me again." Privately Lily thought that might be for the best, but outwardly she was nothing but sympathy and comfort for Holly.

The next morning Lily made her way down to the dungeons to make a headache remedy for herself. Or at least, that's what she told people she was making. What she actually wanted to do was make a potion of her own invention. A cure for loneliness. She intended to take bits and pieces of a few different potions, a social potion which made the drinker less inhibited in crowds of people they didn't know, a happiness draft, and a few more ingredients which would make the potion work. She had thought of it the week before while watching Sirius and James attempt to make their own new type of potion in class. They had failed miserably, but they did not have her natural gift for potion. Somehow the ingredients made sense to her. She could tell what would work and what wouldn't. She entered the potions room at around ten o'clock, intending to have some thereputic time alone in the cool, dark dungeon. Unfortunately this did not turn out to be possible. She did not notice him at first, is was not until she was lighting the fire under her cauldron when she heard him shifting around behind her, opening the store cupboard. She nearly jumped out of her skin. It was Severus Snape, skulking around in the shadows. He returned to his cauldron and tressel table, bending over his potions text book and pressing his nose against the page, writing in his tiny, cramped scrawl. Lily sneered and turned around, looking back at the instructions in her own book.

She saw that he social potion called for a crushed newt's left front foot. She knew that this would be a key ingredient to her potion, but she was out of newts. When she checked the supply cupboard, it was also empty of newts. She gritted her teeth and turned to face Snape.

"Excuse me?" she asked.

"What?" he sneered, his lip curling back aggressively.

"I was just wondering if you had an extra newt that I could use," she asked.

"I do, but salamanders are more effective in most potions," he told her.

"I'm the one who told you that in the first place," she snapped back at him. He blushed, reminded of the long hours they had spent in the dungeons together mixing potions back when they had been friends and when they had dated.

"Right," he said. "Then why do you want a newt?" he snarled.

"Because, you twit, and salamander skin wouldn't mix well with the sliced shrivelfig, would it?" she said.

"No, it would make it poisoness," he replied, blushing again.

"Exactly. So please don't correct me on my choice of ingredients. I think we both know which one of us is superior at potions." Lily said to him, triumphant. Cutting down Snape in potions always made her feel better about herself. Sometimes he could get extremely cocky. They used to have arguments about this kind of thing all the time. Arguments where Lily usually came out on top. Snape handed over the newt, scowling. He bent back over his book, scrawling another note in the margin.

Lily went on working with her potion, and was just sitting back to let it simmer for seven minutes when she heard a disgruntled cry from the back of the room.

"What?" Lily asked with interest as she looked at Snape sucking on his finger and hopping up and down.

"These Sopophorous beans won't give me a enough juice," Snape told her grudgingly.

"They can be very tempermental," Lily observed, approaching his table and looking on with interest. "It works much better if you crush them with the side of a silver dagger," she told him.

"Of course, the silver won't contaminate the liquid and is strong enough to release all the juice!" Snape cried out, slapping his forehead. He began crushing the beans and soon had more than enough juice. He nodded at Lily gratefully. Lily smiled and returned to her table to siphon off the top layer of potion that should have hardened while it simmered.

Half an hour later Lily had a happily bubbling potion that was robbins egg blue. She took a flask of it and bottled it. It seemed a shame to waste the rest of it. She wrote out the process she had gone through carefully in case it worked so that she could replicate it and bottled another sample to give to Slughorn. She moved the rest of the cauldron to the back table in hopes of saving it. She didn't know how long the potion's effects would last. She left the dungeon and went outside, a little hesitant to try the potion in case it had negative side effects. She steeled herself and took a long gulp. A warmth spread through her almost instantly. She was satisfied and full in a way that she rarely ever was. She wasn't worried or anxious about her exams and she felt completely at peace. She made a mental note that she was slightly light headed so that she could jot down the effects later. Her legs were feeling slightly tingly too, as if she was floating. Her arms too felt as though they were going to float up in the air, defying gravity. Perhaps if she added in some think gooey substance it would counteract those effects, she should ask Slughorn later what would be good.

Lily made her way over to the lake and put her feet in, happy for the early summer sun and the cool lake. She was not sorry to be alone, the potion really had cured loneliness. Perhaps she would go and seek out people though, those were probably the effects of the social potion taking effect. She spotted James, Sirius, Lupin, Peter, and Hazel all under a shady beech tree not too far from her. She waved, but then decided she would just stay by herself. She was happy only keeping herself company. A minute later she looked up to see James walking towards her. She waved a smiled, happy for company but not craving it. He sat down beside her and took off his shoes, dipping his feet in the water.

"What's up, Lily?" James asked.

"Oh, nothing!" Lily said, almost giddy with happiness. She was a little surprised at the sound of her own voice. She was almost laughing.

"You're awfully happy," James said dubiously.

"Yes I am," Lily nodded, holding out her potion flask to him. "Try some, it's a wonderful feeling," she told him.

"What is it?" he asked doubtfully.

"My own invention. A cure for loneliness," she was not at all embarrassed or ashamed, remarkably.

"Why were you making a cure for loneliness?" he asked, startled.

"Because I was feeling all alone. But now I don't care about that. I'm happy to be alone. Or to be with people. It doesn't matter. It's a very floaty feeling. You should try it." She told him, still holding the flask out to him.

"Okay," he said, taking it from her and taking a gulp. He shivered a little and then smiled.

"Can you feel your arms and legs tingling?" she asked eagerly.

"Yeah," he said, startled. "I see what you mean about he floaty feeling…" he said slowly, a goofy grim still on his face. Lily grinned back. James leapt up, "I want to fly," he said and ran off the get his broom. Lily turned back to the lake, not sorry to see him go but not please either. A minutes later, as she was lying on her back looking up at the clouds floating above her, she saw James. He was riding on his broom back over to her.

"Fancy a ride?" he asked, hovering with his toes in the water right in front of her. Lily looked doubtful, but then shrugged. She had no fear. She swung her leg over the back of the broom and clutched his waist. The floating sensation only increased once she was in the air.

"I want to touch a cloud," Lily told him eagerly. As a response James sped directly upward. Lily thought they should have reached the clouds by now, but she still couldn't touch them. It was very cold up here. "Down now," Lily told him stupidly as she shivered. James went into a steep dive that made Lily close her eyes and squeeze James even tighter. They plummeted through the air. Lily could feel the potion wearing off and screamed, opening her eyes. She could see the lake racing towards them and screamed louder, knowing she was going to drown. James pulled out of the dive at the last second, their feet skimming the surface of the water. Lily's hair was stuck up all around her from the wind. As soon as they were over land again Lily let go and jumped off the broom, curling up on the ground and shaking.

James stopped and dismounted, coming over to her.

"Lily?" James asked softly. The potion seemed to have worn off him too.

"What were you thinking?" Lily demanded, leaping to her feet with her hands on her hips.

"You said you wanted to touch the clouds..." James said hesitantly.

"Clearly I was drugged out on some potion. That is obviously not what I wanted! You know I hate flying! You know I'm afraid of heights!" Lily shrieked, brushing her hand through her hair.

"Lily," James said soothingly. "Lily calm down," James said. That was the wrong thing to say.

"Calm down! Don't you tell me to calm down Mr. Big Shot quiddich player super star flyer! It's all right for some! You like flying! I don't! You almost killed me!" Lily yelled, turning and running away, dropping the flask behind her. She rand back up to Gryffindor tower and smashed the flask against the common room wall. She looked out the window and saw James walking towards the castle. She quickly walked up the stairs to the girl's dormitory and shut herself in her bed. She wanted to take the potion again, but didn't think it would be a good idea. She needed to figure out something she could add that would put a little bit of the inhibitions back into the drinker. Being fearless was not the effect she had wanted.


	29. THE END

**Chapter 28**

**The End**

Lily thought a good deal about Holly and Lucious for the next week until exams started. She watched them both when they passed in halls, or when they had potions together. It was impossible to see any kind of relationship between them, friendly or otherwise. If anything, Lucious was even more sneering and cold towards her than he was to most people. He frequently made her the butt of his cruelest jokes, particularly whenever Narcissa was watching. Lily also watched him and Narcissa closely. She fawned all over him all the time, and he barely noticed her. He did not seem to have much interest in her. Lily could not work it out. How did he really feel about her friend?

She also spent a good deal of time thinking about James and her temper tantrum. He had been perfectly normal towards her since, but she could see him looking warily at her as he spoke. She had scared him, apparently. She should probably apologize for that. Unfortunately she just never had the opportunity. He was always surrounded by people, and they had just won the Quiddich cup so he was surrounded by admirers even more than usual.

On Thursday evening Lily was walking back from dinner when she heard James's voice talking animatedly to Sirius.

"Well well well, Padfoot what shaaall we do with him?" James asked, a laugh in his voice.

"Now Prongs, there are just so many jinxes that come to mind that I really don't know which one to choose…"

"You're quite right Pads, why don't we ask Mr. Aubrey which he would prefer?"

"Good idea, Prongsie m'boy," Sirius replied, turning towards Aubrey. Lily rounded the corner and saw the two of them, wands out, cornering a fourth year Slytherin Bertram Aubrey.

"James, Sirius, stop that right now! You two are horrible. Why are you terrorizing poor fourth years? Two against one is hardly a fair fight. Leave him alone," Lily said, crossly.

"Now now, Evans," Sirius said lazily, "just run along and pretend you never saw anything. Then you won't get jinxed either and you won't have to have a guilty conscience about not telling."

"Sirius, put your wand down now!" Lily said, hands on hips.

"I'm afraid I can't…sorry Lily," Sirius said, flipping his hair out of his eyes. He then flicked his wand and Aubrey's head began to inflate. Lily wasn't sure what he had done, it was clearly a nonverbal spell, but Aubrey's head continued to swell.

"Good one, Pad," James said, smiling.

"Not a good one at all!" Lily shrieked, horrified. "Take it back!"

"Hospital wing, Aubrey," Filtch wheezed from behind them. Mr. Potter, Mr. Black, double detention I believe." He said, cackling wheezily as his cat, Mrs. Norris, wove in and out of his stick-like legs. Lily just shook her head and marched off, nose in the air. James Potter could be insufferably overconfident at times. Why did he always need to prove himself? Everyone knew that he was an incredible dueler, and that he was annoyingly clever. Did he really have to rub it in? Was it nice to prove himself over and over again by jinxing people just for the sake of it?

"Codswollop," Lily sighed at the fat lady, entering Gryffindor common room and making her way up to the girls dormitory. She lay down on her bed and sighed again, running a tired hand through her hair.

Lily was all packed and ready to leave. Every corner of the room had been checked and double checked for forgotten items. All of the exams were finished, and Lily had comported herself beautifully. James had beaten her, as usual, in transfiguration. But she had come out on top in charms and potions.

Lily ate in a semi-trance. Everything would change next year. It would be her last year at Hogwarts, and there would be that feeling of ending looming over her all the time. She couldn't shake the feeling that it was the end of an era. The future was looking closer than it ever had before.

She boarded the train with her trunk from the Hogsmeade platform and found a compartment with Alice, Holly, Janette, and Caroline. She let her mind wander a little back to the beginning of the year. So much had happened. What would the summer be like? She remembered returning from Hogwarts in years past and meeting her father at the station. That wouldn't happen this year. She would come of age in September, she was young for her year, so she probably wouldn't be living at home again after this summer. She hadn't really been living at hom from the time when she was 11, but this was somehow different.

"Lily," Caroline said, calling her back to reality.

"What? Sorry," Lily said, realizing that her friends were all looking at her.

"I was just about to tell you all something," Caroline said. She appeared to be bursting with pride and excitement.

"Yes?" Lily said nervously, not sure what to expect.

"Well, as you all know Ben and I have been dating for a while now…and, well, I won't be coming back to Hogwarts next year." Caroline was beaming but Lily sis not understand. She looked at the others, but none of them seemed to have taken it in either.

"I'm sorry…what?" Janette asked, half smiling.

"Ben and I are getting married. He'll be going back to Hogwarts, of course. He needs to continue his studies so that he can get a position with the ministry. But there really isn't much point for me. Mum's over the moon. She thinks that my time can be better spent learning cooking and household running things from her. Setting up for my own home and all that. She never dreamed I would be able to make a match as good as this. Ben is pure blood, and from a very old family after all. Mum's always been worried I would have to settle for a half bloods or something dreadful. Not that there's anything wrong with that of course. Just not for me." Caroline was smiling and simpering and babbling, expecting her friends to be pleased. Holly and Alice and Janette all smiled and hugged Caroline, congratulating her and asking her a million questions about when the wedding would be.

"Lily?" Caroline said hesitantly, looking up from Alice's embrace. "Lily, aren't you pleased?"

"Pleased?" Lily asked, her throat constricted. "How could I be pleased? Why should I be happy to watch you throw your life away for a 'really good match'?" Caroline's face fell.

"Lily, I'm not throwing my life away," Caroline said slowly.

"Of course you are! You're not even finishing your school! You're not even getting your own job! Caroline, how could you?" Lily asked, rising to her feet and hot tears of anger and frustration flooding her eyes.

"Lily, I'm happy. Just because not all of us are clever doesn't mean you can pass judgment on the way I choose to live!" Caroline replied, trying to remain calm but with a tremor in her voice.

"And Ben," Lily scoffed. "Just standing back and letting you throw everything away just so you can become the perfect little housewife."

"He is not!" Caroline yelled, rising to her feet. "He loves me! Don't you dare talk about Ben! You don't even know him!" Lily just looked at her and burst into tears. She couldn't take this. She left the compartment at a run and fled down the corridor as fast as she could. She wasn't looking where she was going, and, blinded by her fury and her tears, she crashed into something very hard. It was the food cart. It jerked on its wheels and slammed back into her. Lily fell to the floor and was showered in licorice wands and sugar quills, watching in horror as bertie bots beans spilled all over the floor, rolling away under doors and rolling down the corridor. Lily began apologizing to the little old witch who pushed the cart. She was so embarrassed. Her color only reddened when a door opened nearby and James, Sirius, Lupin, and Peter all emerged, looking startled.

"Well well, what have we here?" Sirius asked, scooping a sugar quill off the floor and beginning to suck it. "Lily, wreaking havoc as usual."

"Are you okay?" James asked, reaching for her hand to pull her up. Lily leapt to her feet herself and began brushing crusted sugar off her robes. James looked at her, puzzled. She brushed her cheeks in fury, hoping her wouldn't notice the tracks of her tears that she knew still lingered there.

"I'm fine," Lily said, not quite meeting his gaze.

"Want to sit for a minute?" James asked, gesturing towards their compartment.

"Er, sure," Lily said, as she had nowhere else to go. She followed James into the compartment. Sirius stayed behind to buy cauldron caked, chocolate frogs, and to pay for the sugar quill the witch was now berating him for taking.

"So, Lily, what's going on?" James asked in a slightly hushed tone, glancing at Peter who was bobbing up and down, going back and forth between James and Sirius.

"Oh, nothing." Lily said, smiling. "I was looking for the lunch trolley, and then I guess I just got distracted and bumped into her." She waved her hand as if to convey the humor in the situation.

"Right…so why are you all flushed and upset?" James asked, eyeing her suspiciously.

"Well, I just got out of a fight with a trolley, didn't I? Of course I'm flushed. And who said anything about me being upset?" Lily demanded, not quite meeting his eyes.

"Your eyes are all red," James said shrewdly. "Admit it, you've been crying," he accused.

"It's not important," Lily said, brushing the hair off of her face.

"Right, well so then why not tell me?"

"Well-" blustered Lily, but there was no reason not to tell, "Caroline isn't coming back to school next year," Lily admitted.

"Why not?" James asked. "Is it because of that Voldemort guy?" James asked, looking angry. "A bunch of people were talking the other day about how their parents are nervous about sending their kids back because of that maniac."

"Oh, no, it has nothing to do with that business," Lily told him, shaking her head. "She's getting married," Lily did not even attempt to keep the derision out of her voice. There was more than a hint of sarcasm and distain in her tone.

"Is she now?" asked Sirius, reentering the compartment, Peter on his heels. Remus, who has been perusing the Daily Prophet in a corner looked up, appearing marginally interested. "Who's the bloke?"

"Ben."

"Ben? Oh, well, that's a good match for her I suppose. He's a nice enough guy. He's coming back though, right?" Sirius asked.

"Yes, he is. Caroline gets to stay home and learn how to manage a house and cook while he goes to school so he can get a good job with the ministry!" Lily said, her voice mounting in volume.

"Oh course he is," Sirius said, looking confused at her evident anger. "What else would he do?"

"He would encourage her to continue school so she can get a job and support herself as well!" Lily said, her outrage increasing. "But of course you wouldn't understand that," she raged, glowering at Sirius. "You're all the same, you filthy 'pure' blood families. You're such a chauvinist!"

"Lily!" James said sharply, looking angry himself. "Not all pure blood families think that way, and what Sirius is saying…he doesn't mean it in a chauvinistic way." Lily's fierce gaze turned on James and he fumbled slightly. "It's just, Caoline isn't being forced to do anything. She said yes when he proposed. And…and if she thinks that marrying someone she loves will make her happy then…then I think that's wonderful. Work isn't the only important thing in the world, Lily." James seemed to grow in confidence as he spoke. Lily looked away, she didn't have anything to say to that. When he put it that way she felt childish and stupid.

"If it was a question of Caroline's happiness…" Lily started.

"You don't think she'll be happy?" James asked.

"Well, no…it's not that…it's just that- well…" Lily stammered, not knowing what else to say.

"It's just that the life she's choosing wouldn't make you happy," James finished for her.

"Well, I mean, if you put it like that it sounds like I'm just being selfish!" Lily said, her eyes tearing up again.

"But you are!" James burst out. Lily stared at him, stunned. James had never insulted her before. "I'm sorry Lily, I didn't mean that. You're not being selfish. You're just judging her based on your own standards of happiness. Lily, it's a normal thing to do. Please don't be angry with me, Lily."

"I'm not angry. How could I be angry when you're right?" James looked partially relieved and partially upset.

"Why do you hate marriage so much, Lily?" James asked her.

"I don't hate marriage. I just…well…I just- we're too young! It won't last. They barely even know each other."

"Maybe they love each other," James said quietly, taking a step towards her. Lily looked up at him, but couldn't hold the eye contact longer than a few seconds. She looked away.

"How would they even know?" Lily asked, almost whispering. Sirius cleared his throat, reminding Lily and James that they weren't alone. Lily blushed and James leapt back from her as if scalded. Lily cleared her throat a little. "Sirius, how did you know you loved Hazel?" Lily asked, trying to cast the awkwardness son someone else.

"I just knew. I don't know how to explain it. You'll know someday," Sirius said, winking and looking at James mischievously.

THE END

To be continued in the next installment.

_- 10 -_


End file.
